A Hunger Games Guide to a Mary Sue
A/N: This is kind of a rip-off of Akheilos and Delphin Inc's Ten Commandments of a Mary Sue. I really recommend that one, and that one inspired this guide. Thanks so much for R&R-ing! Yes, I thank you in advance. I don't mind flames, as I realize this isn't the best, and the CC is probably good for me. Also, for those of you that don't know, a Mary Sue is someone who is absolutely perfect, and is often a version of yourself with awesome powers. Happy writing!
Yes, we've all heard the typical comment to that character you absolutely love,
"So-and-so seems like a Mary Sue."
I'm here to correct those mistakes to making a character that doesn't make other people barf.
To show how to do something you're supposed to do, sometimes it's better to show you what not to do. Like this:
"Sasha was the most beautiful girl ever. She was slim and muscular, a perfect tribute for the games. Everyone absolutely loved her, and she got all the sponsors."
Okay, I know what you're thinking. "Who in the world writes like that?" And the answer is: Many people.
Lots of people don't realize it, but they're so close to their writing that they can't tell how dumb sounding it is to others.
A good way to fix this is through betas. They aren't the author, and like all of the readers on Fanfiction, look at it and can see right away the problems with it. They can help you change it so Sasha isn't perfect, and people are able to sympathize with the character. That is key to creating a good Hunger Games story.
Secondly, Mary Sues usually have a terrible past, one with parents abandoning you, or ones with stepparents who are cruel, and other junk like that. Here's an example:
"Although Sasha was so good looking and kind, many people didn't know about her sad and depressing past. She was abandoned at birth, and had to fend for herself when she was growing up."
The worst thing about this is that people who write about someone who is just positively amazing think that they're toning it down with the terrible past.
I know that when I say this, so many people will agree with me.
NO MATTER WHAT YOU THINK, BEING ABANDONED AT BIRTH DOESN'T MAKE YOU COOL. YOU WOULD PROBABLY BE DEAD.
Yes, after that outburst, the creator of our dear Sasha is probably in tears. This is because the authors of Mary Sues often make the character be who that person always wanted to be.
This is bad because they can't take CC very well.
Let's say a girl named Lily was the author who created Sasha. Lily doesn't like her name, and had always liked the name Sasha. And Lily is a bit on the chubby side, but has dreamt of one day being beautiful and skinny.
That's where Sasha comes in.
Sasha is everything Lily wants to be-with looks, and a 'cool' name.
So, when someone comes in and says, "Sasha is annoying. She's too Mary Sue-ish." Lily will be offended by this comment and won't fix Sasha. And there's the circle again.
Author Wishes, Author Creates, Reader Comments, Author Takes Offence, Author Wishes Again.
This goes on and on and on.
How to fix this cycle, and be able to take constructive crit with ease: A nice beta. Personally, I recommend JayceeSue44227, but there are tons out there. Go for someone who doesn't force you to do anything, and make small suggestions.
Often, when someone comments on your Mary Sue, they're mean. That sure doesn't help anything. A nice beta can really help change the character into a non-Mary Sue, while still holding all the characteristics that you want.
Another dreadful thing to do for a character is make her half more than two admirers. Sure, she can be better than average looking, but not everybody is going to fall for her. No one is that attractive. It would be better to have no admirers. I don't believe there is anyway to fix that problem; all you can really do is just not put more admirers in. And that, you will have to do by yourself.
Yes, one more tip before we put all our newfound skills to the test.
Stories with Mary Sues are often rushed, and copying the book. Usually, Mary Sues are from district twelve, their father died in the mines, and there is a hot neighbor who promises to take care of the mother and little sister, who just happens to be named after a flower. (Note the sarcasm.)
You must find your own story line, and really, venture out a little bit. They don't have to be from twelve, do they?
Okay, let's recap.
Here is a mini, half one-shot of the most terrible Mary Sue ever. Then, using the skills I just discussed, we will turn it into a great story. We will use Sasha, as always.
Sasha was beautiful. She had blue eyes, and long, wavy blonde hair. Everyone adored her. All the boys thought she was just so hot, and every single one of the girls wanted to be her.
She was the most popular in the entire district, and got presents from everyone. She lived in district twelve, but she wished she could live in district one.
Her friend, Joey, who lived in twelve with her, promised to take care of her family if she ever got Reaped in the games. She had promised the same to him, because she had amazing skills in hunting and was excellent at all things in the woods. She basically took care of her family, because her father died in the mines. Thinking about it made her sad. She still had her mother though, and her little sister, Daisy.
She took such good care of them that no one expected for her to be in the Hunger Games.
After she was reaped, she got on the train to the capital, along with a cute boy named Harvey.
At training she beat everybody, and got ranked 12. It was so cool, and everyone liked her.
She went for stylish and sexy in the interview, and practically everyone loved her. She got all the sponsors, and Harvey fell in love with her.
At the games, she thought she would die right away, but she didn't. She made it to the final six. Then the final four. Then, it was just herself and Harvey.
But she didn't want to kill him, and she took out some berries that she knew were poisonous, from her expert knowledge, and was about to eat the berries so she didn't have to kill him, when suddenly the Game-maker stopped them, and they won.
Everyone loved them from that day on, and they lived happily ever after.
Yes, I see fan fictions like this all the time. Short, icky, total plagiarism. Maybe I'm exaggerating, but really, people really do this. Let's see how we can revise this crap into something at least a little bit better.
Let's start with the first line: "Sasha was beautiful. She had blue eyes, and long, wavy blonde hair. Everyone adored her."
When anyone reads this, it's Mary Sue alert. You should never, ever, start a story with the description of a character.
For some people, they like descriptions such as that, but no one ever likes it when it's all about how perfect they are.
Using our supah skillz, we know that we can change this be either going to a beta for help, or making sure that you just go into the action right away, and do the describing later. By doing this, they, the reader, will be enveloped in the action, and will miss some of the description. This is good when you keep repeating how prefect she is. You could start with something like, "Sasha awoke with a start and remembered that…." You get the picture. You can do what you want, take the story wherever you want to, but sometimes you just gotta start with something simple, and don't lionize your character more than you need to.
Second sentence: "All the boys thought she was just so hot, and every single one of the girls wanted to be her. "
Like we said before, not everyone is going to like you. To change a sentence like that into something a bit better, you could make it say, "Some people even admired her." Instead of, "All the boys thought she was just so hot, and every single one of the girls wanted to be her."
This way, it gives the sense that your OC is nice, and doesn't overwhelm the reader. You must make your OC modest to have any sympathizing readers.
The next two sentences are mixed.
"She was the most popular in the entire district, and got presents from everyone. She lived in district twelve, but she wished she could live in district one."
This means that the Mary Sue actually does want something that she doesn't already have. This is a good thing, if you do it in the right way. The way presented is terrible, as it suggests that she is spoiled and pampered. She just wants something to make her more comfortable. If she wanted to help someone, that would be better.
Once again, a beta can help with this.
"At training, she beat everyone else and got ranked twelve." Yay, she's so awesome! But let me break it to you. No one cares. Katniss already did that. I realize I skipped some lines, but I figured with the supah skillz, you could figure it out. Anyway, back to criticizing the sentence.
No one, besides our beloved Katniss, gets a twelve. Not unless you're a Mary Sue, that is. Once again, and I cannot stress this enough, MAKE YOUR OC MODEST! That's the best thing you can do for your character, to avoid being a Mary Sue.
Okay, I think you've listened to me rant for long enough. Hopefully this can help you make you OC's non-Mary Sue. Thanks for reading, and remember, may the odds ever be in your favor! Chow!