If you forget me,
I want you to know one thing.
He sits in his cell, damp, dimly lit, and remembers what a fall he has had. From one of his Master's most trusted...to this. Lost, ignored, forgotten. No, not forgotten, or so he hopes. Surely she would never forget him. She couldn't possibly, after all they had together...
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window...
... everything carries me to you,
There is a small opening in his cell, looking out to the raging seas that rround his prison, that seperate him from everything he loves. And her. Does he love her? He does not always know, but when he does, yhe answer, he realises, is yes.
He loves his little skylight when it is day, and the birds call out as they circle above, screeching at each other, their cruel, harsh voices drowning out thedark aura of his jailers. The sea too, is furious in the day, gnashing against the rocks, chirning with white foam. It reminds him of what he no longer has, but he is sure he will, again. Freedom, and her. She is like the stormy waters, in his delirious mind. Wild, untamable, cruel.
Until, night creeps in, the shadows in the cell lengthen, and they finally overtake everything else, leaving almost a pure darkness, illuminated only by the silver moonlight. The birds go to sleep and the sea calms down. He closes his eyes and she is in his arms. She is his. His Bella. Her wild curls mingle with his fingers as she whispers into his ears of her secrets, and his. She is not calm, but she is composed, mellow, almost, for him and him only, compared to her usual fierce self. He knows she is married to another, but in moments of solitude, he is hers and she, his.
as if everything that exists,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.
He comes back to his reality, his prison, his shackles, and smiles. She will free him. She is waiting for him, outside these walls. She will do her best to save him for he has only risked his life and libertty doing their Dark Lord's work. He trusts her.
Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.
It is months before doubt creeps into the dark corners of his mind. No word, no letter, no message from her, nor from any of those that ought to find him his freedom. The Dementors feed on his memory, and his mind becomes hazy, unfocussed. He cannot remember much. Not their names, even. Except hers. Will they ever come to liberate him? Will she? Was he not one of their most loyal? Did she not promise him they would be together?
Another doubt. A desperate one. She loved him. Does she, anymore? Can she? The images of her beauty and her love that used to capture his mind, begin to fade into the hazy mist of everything else.
If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.
He waits, yet. But now, he waits without hope, without love, without knowing what it is he waits for. He does not remember a life outside the cell. He does not remember a time before the darkness. Everything is dark fog, that chokes him, burns hin from alive. Pain, is all he feels. He has forgotten all he should remember. He is forgotten by all. He has forgotten her.
If you think it long and mad...
...and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.
There is nohing left, of the man he once was. He is an empty shell now, weak, lost, starved, of both food and human contact. It is a deadly combination. He wishes he was gone. The dementors are hardly kind enough to grant him his dreams immediately. He spends what seem to be ages in despair, and a constant state of hopelessness.
But one day, he is lucky enough to be blessed. Or cursed, perhaps. He does not know. His wishes come true, at last. His soul, or what is left of it, is taken away from him, and his body falls away, lifeless. He is free.
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live
it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.
Notes: For the Through the universe challenge on TGS. Prompt: Liberate
Also for the Cruel and Unusual pairing Challenge . Prompt: Bella/Barty
Also for the Famous Poems Challenge. Prompt: If You Forget Me by Pablo Neruda.
AU where Bella escaped prison early and met Barty before he pretended to be Alastor Moody.