A parody of Steamed Hams
Made by yours truly.
Pit was sitting at home and heard a knock at his door he went to go anwser it. Dark Pit was standing in front of him.
"Well Pit, I made it. Despite your directions." Pit was happy to see him.
"Ah, Pittoo, welcome! I hope your prepared for an unforgettable luncheon." Pit said proudly.
"Yeah..." He said seating at the table.
Pit walked into the kitchen and saw a horrible image. "Oh no! My roast is ruined!" Pit looked out the window and saw a nearby fast food joint.
"But what I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking?" Pit chuckled. "Delightfully devilish, Pit." He told himself. Pit was about to go out the window until Dark Pit caught him.
"What are you doing?" Dark Pit asked. "Oh, uh, I was just letting some fresh air in.." Pit lied.
"Why is there smoke coming at your oven?" Dark Pit asked. "Oh, that's not smoke, its steam. Steam for the steamed hams were having." Pit rubbed his stomach. "Mmm, steamed clams."
When Dark Pit heard this, he went to go sit back down. Eventually, Pit came in with Burgers and Fries. "Whew. Pittoo, I hope you ready for some mouthwatering hamburgers." Dark Pit was puzzled by this.
"I thought we were having steamed clams." Pittoo said, stroking his chin.
"Oh no, I said steamed hams. That's what I call hamburgers." Pit said, smiling nervously.
"You call hamburgers, steamed hams?" Even Dark Pit thought this was weird.
"Yes, it's a regional dialect." Pit smiled.
"Uh-huh, what region." Dark Pit asked.
"Uh, upstate Skyworld!" Pit managed to choke out.
"Well I'm from Skyworld, and I have never heard anyone use the term "steamed hams." Dark Pit knew Pit was lying.
"Oh no, its not in Skyworld, its an Albany expression." Pit lied, once again.
"I see..." The black winged angel said, finally taking a bite from his burger.
Pit sat down and took a bit from his too. "You know, these hamburgers taste quite similar to the ones they have at the "Skyworld oven." Pittoo added.
"Oh no, Angelic Angel Burgers. it's Lady Palutena's old recipe." He said, shaking as if Pittoo was one step away from figuring Pit out.
"For steamed hams?" Dark Pit questioned.
"Yes!" Pit immediately spoke back.
"Yes, you call them steamed hams, despite the fact that they are obviously grilled." Dark Pit exposed the grilled patty underneath the bun.
Pit thought, 'Oh no! He figured me out!' But Pit came up yet another, unfortunately he stumbled over his word. "Ye-...You know the-...one thing I shoud-...excuse me for a second." Pit got up and went into the kitchen.
A few minutes later, Pit came out and the kitchen was in flames. Pit yawned. "Well that was wonderful. A good time was has by all, I'm pooped." Pit said.
Dark Pit stood up, "Yes I should be- Good Lord what is going on there!?" Pittoo practically screamed.
"Aurora Borealis." That was the first thing that came to Pit's head.
"Aurora Borealis?! At this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of Skyworld, localized entirely in for kitchen?" Dark Pit said, in a bit of a angered tone.
"Yes." Was all Pit said.
"...can I see it?" Dark Pit said. Pit thought for a moment. "No."
Pit and Dark Pit eventually found themselves outside. "PIT THE TEMPLE IS ON FIRE!" Screamed Palutena. "Don't worry, Lady Palutena, it's just the northern lights." Pit told her.
"Well, Pit-Stain, you are a weird clone of me but I must say...you steam a pretty good ham." Dark Pit said, beginning to walk off.
Then Palutena said, "HELP! HELP!"
Dark Pit turned back at this, and Pit just smiled and gave him a thumbs up.
Oh, the things Pit will do for Dark Pit.
Anyways, until next time, which is my next story, The End.