Disclaimer: I own nooooooothin. NOTHIIIING.
A/N: Upon realizing that Invader Zim is now 13 years old, it occurred to me that JtHM is… wait for it…. waaaaaaaaaaaait for it, 19! So, yeah, this happened.
-O-
"Remember to get your permission slips in by Friday!" Ms. D called as her students filed out of the room. She sighed and dropped into her seat, rubbing her forehead. The forty year old was fighting off another migraine. She seemed to be having them with an alarming frequency lately. The school year was coming to a close, but she still had almost five hundred final projects to grade.
After her brush with insanity, Devi's creativity never really recovered. Her paintings just lacked that… thing… that used to make them so wonderful. She never did manage to get anything into a gallery, and while, during summer, she still does commissions, it's not really enough to pay the bills. So about ten years ago, Devi became a high school art teacher.
Her students loved her, she was relatively lenient and relaxed, and almost let them have free range of what they painted. It helped that she was still quite insane. But she managed to keep that under wraps… most of the time.
After packing up her supplies in her backpack she headed out of her classroom and down the hall.
"Devi!" She heard someone call from behind her, and she groaned before turning and slapping a face smile on her face. It was Rick Thomson. He was a algebra teacher that convinced himself he was in love with her, it didn't help that they'd had a one night stand about six years ago. And he was still on about it.
"Hi Rick…" She sighed, shifting her bag on her back.
"Hey, uh… everyone's planning to head to the Bog this evening, and I uh,... I was wondering if you'd-"
"I have a lot to grade tonight, sorry." She turned again and started to walk away, the man grabbed her wrist.
"Come on Dev! You never go out!"
"It's been that way for twenty years, why fix what isn't broken?" She snapped and pulled her wrist free before quickly leaving the building. Rick frowned and headed back to his classroom. He'd get that woman, one way or another.
Devi leaned her head against her steering wheel with a deep groan. That man, seriously, he knew she wasn't interested, but persisted anyways. It was starting to grate on her nerves. She'd never really gave the dating thing another shot. Sure, she'd had a few trysts, but never anything more. She tended not to keep guys around long enough to ruin everything. Whenever things started to get real, she would bolt. And she was fine with that. Marriage? Not really in the plans. Kids? Well, it was a bit late for that now. Besides, she had to deal with them all day long, why would she subject herself to more when she got home? No fuckin' thanks.
Besides all of that, nothing ever really felt right… not since…. Devi shook her head and started her car. No, she wouldn't think about that. Whenever she thought about it, she landed herself in another depression. Though, her best art tended to come out during those times. Still...not worth it. She touched a button on her steering wheel, and a mechanical voice came through her speakers.
"Bluetooth audio, what can I do?"
"Call Eat or Die" Devi said, as she started driving towards the restaurant. The phone rang a few times, and another mechanical voice answered.
"Eat or die! What you want!?"
"I'd like a small cashew chicken with fried rice and a order of dumplings for carry out." She said, stopping at a light. She sighed, waiting for the voice to tell her the total so she could hang up. She was sitting one car back from the light when something caught her attention, All she saw was a flash of it, but it was a smiley face antenna decoration.. attached to a grey…
"That be $12.95, you be here in ten minute OR DIE!" The voice yelled, startling her out of her reverie and hung up, when she looked back, she saw nothing. Well that was… weird. She just sighed and kept driving, arriving at the restaurant nine minutes later. When she got back into the car her phone rang, caller ID reading TENNA! She sat her food in the passengers seat before answering.
"Hey Ten, I'll be at my place in about five minutes." She said, pulling out of the parking lot.
"Actually I won't be able to make it, Camille is sick and Ryan can't come sit with her tonight. Raincheck?" Tenna had gotten married a few years ago, then divorced six months later, but not before getting pregnant. Now she seemed to be locked in a never ending custody battle, Ryan only really showing interest in Camille when Tenna threatens to cut off contact with him.
Devi frowned but replied, "Sure, give her a hug for me."
"Will do!" Tenna hung up and Devi sighed, another lonely night with Chinese food and old movies. Maybe she could get some painting done.
The drive home was quick and uneventful, and when she walked in her door she dropped her bag to the floor with a thud. She still lived in the same apartment, never seeing a reason to get a different place. It was just her, no need for more space. Besides, this was her cave for over a year, she was a little attached to it.
Devi sat her mail, that she'd picked up on the way up, on the table before going into the kitchen and grabbing a plate. She dished out some of her food and went back to the living room, settling the plate on her lap as she sorted through the mail.
Bill, bill, bill, letter from dad, bill. She took a bite when she came to an unmarked envelope. It was addressed to her, but there was no postage mark. Weird. She took another bite before setting her fork down and opening the letter. She coughed, almost choking with her eyes wide.
Devi,
I know you probably don't want to hear from me, even after twenty years, but, I just had to say hello.
I just got back to town. I spent the past two decades traveling. I've been everywhere. Even spent a few years in an asylum.
I wish I could say I'm all better, but, there really wasn't much they could do for me. Apparently, I'm just too fucked up. But… you don't really care about that.
Anyways… I've missed you. I never stopped missing you. I still think about you every day. I know how pathetic that is. But it's true.
How are you?
Look, I know that this is crazy, and I don't really think you'll do it but, Friday night, the 28th, I'm going to be at Luigi's on main. I reserved a table for two at nine. I'd love to see you, even if all you want to do is throw a drink in my face. Please just, think about it?
Yours always,
Nny.
Devi read the letter seven more times before it sank in. He was back. She hadn't heard or seen from him in almost twenty years, and now he was back. And he knew where she lived! No, he probably just guess. Breath Devi, she reminded herself. Trying to stop shaking.
Tonight was Friday. This is what she gets for not checking her mail for three days. Her eyes snapped to the clock, it was just after five. Three hours. She had three hours to decide if she was going to do this.
It would be in public… so that's something.
This is also the guy who managed to slaughter everyone in a Taco Hell in broad daylight.
He said himself they hadn't been able to do anything for him at the hospital!
But you miss him…. She heard in the back of her head. A faint, barely there voice that made her freeze. "Oh fuck no! You keep your whore mouth shut!" She screamed at her own mind.
I'll just take a shower, she thought, I can think about it more in there. She nodded and scarfed down her food before heading into her bedroom and stripping out of her teaching clothes. Stupid casual dress. The purple silk top and black dress pants were entirely impractical to teaching art, but it was required. They were allowed to dress casual on Friday's, but none of her casual clothes were quite school appropriate. Even after all this time, her style hadn't changed much, her clothes were just in a little better shape.
Once out of her clothes Devi started the shower, groaning as the hot water hit her skin. Would it really hurt to see him? Maybe he has changed. She definitely has. Kind of. Ugh,,, she sighed, lathering up her now waist length black hair. She stayed in the shower until the water ran cold. And reluctantly stepped out, wrapping herself in a fluffy purple towel.
Why is this happening? Couldn't he just… stay gone? How the hell did one letter just throw everything off? Life as going so well…
Devi dropped the towel when she walked into her bedroom. Luigi's was a nice place. She should probably do her hair, maybe some makeup.
"Jesus, are you actually considering this?" She groaned, flopping down on her bed. She could do exactly what he said, just throw a drink in his face. The thought made her smile, but she knew she wouldn't really do that. She'd gotten over her anger, and most of the fear. When she thought about him anymore, there was just a dull ache in her chest. Everything had been so perfect, he was wonderful… then.
Devi looked up at the clock. Six fifteen… Two hours and forty five minutes. It would take twenty minutes to get there. So that made it two hours and twenty five minutes. Maybe she would read a bit….
Well, that didn't go as planned. She tried, for an hour, and couldn't focus. Now she was standing in front of the bathroom mirror with curlers in her hair, applying a thick layer of black to her eyelid. She still had time decide, and if she didn't go to dinner, she could just go meet the teachers at the bar. Nothing wrong with looking nice, right?
She kept along that train of thought as she slipped into a little black dress. The satin like material clung to her body, slightly low cut in the front. It pushed her modest bust up, but not in a whorey style. She still thought that as she dug into her jewelry box, pulling out her cross earrings, the ones she used to wear almost every day. Thought it as she pulled the curlers out of her hair, letting it tumble about her shoulders in soft waves. As she slipped on her heels. And even as she started her car and started driving towards the east side of town. The bar was to the south.
It wasn't until she was handing the valet her keys did it really set in that she was doing this. Johnny C was sitting inside that restaurant right now, waiting for her. And she was about to go in there. She was doing this.
Devi sucked in a deep breath as she turned towards the door, steeling herself, and walking in. The place was relatively slow at this time of night, it was past dinner time, but just before bar hours. There were only a few tables occupied. Her eyes scanned the room, and fell on a table in the corner.
There he was. The same hair, pale skin. Impossibly skinny. The only real difference being the lines around his eyes, giving him an aged look. God… he was still gorgeous. She didn't realize she was staring at him until she raised her eyes to his, and he was looking right back at her. Those eyes…..
Devi let out a breath she wasn't aware she was holding before she made her way across the room, unable to take her eyes off of his. He stood as she approached the table. He was wearing a suit, solid black, but it looked so good on him. She dropped her eyes for a moment, and couldn't help but smile at the sight of his steel toes peeking out from the pant legs. When she looked back up, she was standing in front of him. He was smiling. And she did too.
"Devi… you look wonderful." Did his voice always sound like that?
"You don't look too bad yourself." She replied with a smile as he pulled her chair out for her. She sat, putting her bag on the floor, where she could reach it quickly if she needed. He took his seat across from her, still smiling. Devi found herself blushing. She hadn't blushed in years.
"Welcome to Luigi's." The waiter said, coming over to the table. The kid couldn't have been any older than they were when they met. "Can I get you something to drink?"
Devi smiled at the young man, "A glass of moscato would be lovely." She said, and he turned to Nny.
"And you, sir?" Devi wanted to laugh, someone calling Johnny C sir.
"Just bring the bottle." He replied, not bothering to look up at the waiter. The young man walked away, leaving Devi to gape at Johnny.
"You drink now?" She asked, shocked. Nny laughed.
"Not really, but I feel like I could use it right now."
"Yeah, same. If someone would have told me twenty years ago that I'd be sitting here, with you, I'd have probably stabbed them in the eye socket with a paintbrush." Nny snorted, a bigger smile breaking his face.
"Do you still paint?" He asked, looking hopeful.
Devi sighed. "Not as much as I'd like… I sort of lost some of my inspiration. I'm an art teacher now."
"Sorry to hear that. Do you at least like teaching?" He asked, seemingly very interested.
"I don't mind teaching, it's dealing with idiot teenagers that makes me feel all… stabby." She laughed, as did he. After a moment of silence, she took a deep breath. "What about you? Or… has nothing really changed…" Honestly she was scared to death of the answer.
"Well, I don't still torture people in the basement, if that's what you mean." His smile fell. "But yeah… kind of."
Devi shivered, but honestly wasn't very surprised. "Oh…" She was so grateful when the wine showed up, taking a deep drink out of her glass. Nny sighed.
"Devi, I wanted to see you to say I'm sorry. I know it doesn't mean anything, especially now, but I had to say it."
Devi sighed and sat her glass down. "I'm over it, honestly. It was so long ago."
"Still, I am sorry." He said softly, and she nodded. They were silent for a few more minutes, and when the waiter came back over Devi ordered some lasagna, Nny ordered a salad. Then it was back to silence, and sipping on the wine.
"So,, how's your friend,,, Tenna?" He asked, not entirely remembering her name.
"She's great!" Devi said with a smile, grateful for the change of subject. "She got married a few years ago, had a kid. It's surreal to think of her as a parent." She chuckled at the thought. Tenna was actually a very good mother, even if she'd never planned to be.
"What about you?"
"What about me?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Kids? Marriage?"
"Oh!" She laughed for a moment. "No, neither. I never really got back into the whole dating thing."
"Because of me?"
"You were definitely a contributing factor." She said, but smiled. And he returned it. "You?"
Nny snorted into his glass and shook his head. "No, I could never seem to.. hold onto someone."
"You mean you killed them?"
"Not all of them." Devi didn't know why, but she laughed. It was so weird to be out in public, talking about these things like this was a totally normal conversation. Nny seemed shocked at her laughter at first, but then joined in. And they didn't stop until the food came.
They made small talk throughout the meal, discussing Nny's travelling, they briefly touched over his time in the asylum. Apparently there just wasn't a way to fix the damage done to his mind, and that was when they came to.
"No, I beat her. She's been silently ever since. But, I never really did managed to undo the damage she'd done. My art just hasn't been the same." She sighed, it felt strange to talk about it after all this time. But also liberating.
"Fuck, I'm sorry, if I'd have known.."
"You couldn't have." Devi said, silencing him instantly. "And I don't blame you." Before she knew what she was doing, she reached across the table, and laid her hand on top of his. Nny twitched, and looked down at her hand. Devi was just about to pull away when he turned his hand over, and curled his long fingers around hers. Devi felt her breath catch, and locked eyes with Nny. He smiled, and she did too. But his smile quickly fell.
"Devi… I wanted to see you to say goodbye…" He sighed, but kept a hold of her hand. She didn't know why, but it hurt.
"You just got back?" She said, confused. He squeezed her hand,
"I know, but, I've decided to go back into the hospital. For good this time."
Devi was stunned. Why did this hurt so much? "Why..? I mean.. why now?"
Nny took a deep breath, slipping his hand back into his lap. "I've been doing this as long as I can remember. I'm tired. I'm more than tired. It's not that I regret what I've done, just that I'm getting too old for this shit. My mind is still a mess, and I'm just done. I can't even imagine how many people I've ruined."
Devi sighed, everything he was saying made sense. But still… "Why don't you just stop then?"
"I've tried. It doesn't work. I manage for a while, but then someone says something, or something stupid happens, and I just snap. I don't have the self control."
Devi frowned, setting her hand in her own lap. She stared at her wine glass. With her brow furrowed. She didn't realize there was a tear sliding down her cheek until Nny was on his knees in front of her, wiping it away.
"Devi, what's wrong?" She let out a soft sob and threw her arms around his neck.
"I've missed you so much," She whimpered, her face pressed against his neck. "I think about you all of the time. God Nny, I loved you so much, I still do, and now you're telling me I'll never see you again?"
Nny had just froze. Before slipping his arms around him. "Devi…."
"I'm sorry. I never realized… and now… God Nny…" She whined again.
"Shhh," He whispered, cradling the back of her head. "Devi, I'm so sorry… I never thought…"
He never got to finish his sentence, Devi sought out his lips, pouring every emotion she'd ever felt for him into it. Nny froze yet again, but hesitantly returned the kiss, tangling his fingers in her hair.
-O-
Devi woke the next morning naked and mussed. There was a wonderful ache between her legs, and she smiled, remembering the night after leaving the restaurant. But when she stretched out, she found herself completely along. There was no sign of Johnny. His clothes were gone, and where he slept was cold. There was a piece of paper on the pillow. She grabbed it and sat up to read.
Devi,
I'm sorry, I couldn't stay. The thought of having to say goodbye to you after last night was too much for me to handle.
You are so wonderful, so amazing. I've never felt as perfect as I did last night with you.
Devi, I love you. I've loved you since the day we started talking at the bookstore all those years ago. You've been the only thing that's kept me going for so long. It kills me to know that I could never be the man you deserve.
You're an angel, Devi. You deserve the world. Please, forget about me. Please go on and be happy, and leave me in the past where I belong. I'm going somewhere that I can never hurt you again.
Thank you, for last night. Thank you for everything that you have ever been in my life.
All my love,
Nny
-O-
A/N: These sad stories kill me. But it just didn't feel right to try to make this a "they live happily ever after" kind of fic. I think it's just been too long. I hope you enjoyed.