*peeks out sheepishly* So yeah, that whole "I have another post-ep for 9.08 that I'm going put up in about a week's time" claim that I made at the end of my last fic – if you already haven't figured it out, that totally did not happen. I've been struggling with this fic for weeks now, between having a hard time just getting the story to come together to doing a massive re-write on the first half to wrestling with the ending.
For those of you who were waiting for this, I sincerely apologize and thank you for your patience – though, if you did give up on me and this story I certainly won't blame you because that very thought has crossed my mind several times lately. I'm still not completely happy with how it turned out, but if I work on it any more I will go absolutely crazy, so here it is.
I'd like to dedicate this story to afrozenheart412: you were the first person to send me a review and you have been in my corner every step of the way over the past three and a half years. You never cease to amaze me with your kindness, your insight, your encouragement, just everything that you've given back to me with your words. I'm so lucky to have you as a fan and as a friend, and I hope that I never take that for granted. *hugs*
Enjoy?
The First Step
For the past ten days, Danny Messer had been slowly but surely losing his wife to herself, piece by agonizing piece, and he didn't know what he could do to stop it. This was the one thing that she still wouldn't talk about, the deaths of her three best friends from childhood. From what he could tell, Lindsay had become accustomed to bearing their deaths and her survival in silence, never speaking about her tragic past to those around her. Even after seven years together and all the things they've faced as a couple during that time, Danny was still in the dark about her pain. It was only on certain days that he was privy to what she lived with every day, days when the pain was too much for her to keep on the inside. Days like the anniversary of that night and the three days that he could only assume corresponded with the girls' birthdays.
And then there were days like that seemingly ordinary one ten days ago, when the arrival of an urgent letter from the Department of Corrections for the great state of Montana brought news of Daniel Katums's impending execution and send Lindsay down her current path.
What made Danny feel even more helpless about the whole situation was the fact that he didn't have the first clue about what she might need his help with. He only knows a few scant details about the case, only what he was able to glean from her testimony years ago. Over the years, he's thought more than once about looking up the casefile, or even newspaper articles about the incident just to get the most basic understanding of events, but he's never done it. Not only would it be a massive invasion of her privacy – just because he was her husband didn't mean he had the right to go poking around her life before him – it would also be a betrayal of her trust. She had her reasons for not talking about it and he had to respect that, even if her silence frustrated the hell out of him at times. Knowing himself as he did, if he actually looked into the case he'd one day let slip some piece of information that she'd realize he shouldn't know about unless he sought out the information himself and that would crush her. No matter what he felt about the whole situation, he wouldn't do anything to cause her that much pain; he couldn't live with himself if he hurt her that badly, not again.
So, ever since that letter arrived ten days ago, Danny had just been trying to hang in there, staying strong for Lindsay even as she pulled further and further away from him. He'd waited for two whole days before daring to ask her if she planned on witnessing the Katums execution, getting only a vague answer of 'I don't know' before she shut down for the night. Another five days passed before he got her definitive answer.
Coming home from her shift, she'd non-chalantly informed him that not only was she going, but she was going alone, having made the appropriate arrangements with Mac and her dad and booked her flights without his knowledge. That revelations had led to an argument between them, Danny unable to believe that she'd done it all behind his back and Lindsay insisting that the matter had nothing to do with him anyways so why did he even care. He'd spent the night on the couch after that, unable to share the same room with her, let alone the same bed. The next morning, she'd apologized for not being upfront about her decision with him, but refused to budge on the subject.
The two were at an impasse and neither seemed willing to budge until he dropped her off at the airport two days later for her evening flight to Montana. Standing with her in the terminal last night, he'd all but begged her to let him go with her, knowing he might have a better chance with that route rather than trying to convince her not to go at all. She'd merely shook her head at him, leaning in for a quick kiss before whispering "Goodbye, I love you" and heading for security, leaving him standing dejectedly all by himself.
After that, he'd gone home and spent the night tossing and turning, waking up this morning to a cold, lonely bed. Putting aside his own hurt and frustration, he'd waited until a decent hour in Montana before calling her, hoping she'd pick up the phone and talk to him, even to just tell him about her flight. When it went to voicemail, he could just barely mask his disappointment as he left her a message.
As the day progressed, he found himself checking his phone more and more often, desperate for any bit of contact from her. It didn't help when every single one of his colleagues asked him about Lindsay, whether to inquire if she'd made it to Montana OK or to ask how she was doing or to tell her that everybody was thinking about her. He knew he should be more appreciative of their care and concern, but each polite platitude only served to remind Danny of the fact that he was on the outside looking in while Lindsay faced her past on her own.
Just before heading home for the night, Danny checked his phone one last time, knowing he'd have to push the matter aside so Lucy would be none the wiser to the current angst between her parents. As far as the little girl knew, her mother was away for work and would be back after her bedtime tomorrow, and he wanted to keep it that way. Unsurprisingly, there wasn't a word from Lindsay. He called her again and when it went to voicemail as it had this morning, he hung up, not bothering to leave another message that she probably wouldn't answer either. Before shoving the phone into his pocket in frustration, Danny decided to try one more tactic, a last ditch effort.
"Hello?"
"Hi sir. It's Danny, how are you?"
"Danny, hello. It's nice to hear from you," Robert Monroe replied. "I'm doing well, thanks, but how many times do I have to tell you to call me 'Dad,' or Robert if you're more comfortable with that."
"Sorry, I always forget. I'll try to remember that for future reference, I promise."
"That's alright son, I know you have a lot on your plate at the moment. I'm assuming you were calling for Lindsay?"
"Yeah, I've been trying to get her on her cell, but I haven't heard from her all day."
"I'm sorry Danny, but she's out right now. Do you want me to give her a message for you?"
Danny couldn't hold in the heavy sigh at finding out he still couldn't talk to his wife. "No, that's OK. She'll get back to me when she can. Actually, can we keep this whole conversation between us? Lindsay won't take it well if she found out I called you."
"No she won't," Robert agreed with a small chuckle. "Don't worry, I won't say anything to her, but so long as things are staying between us, I'm worried about her, Danny. It was a good thing I was sitting down when she asked if she could stay here in her old room. I knew the execution was coming up, but a part of me hoped that she'd stay far away from this."
"Me too, Robert, me too. She only told me she was going after she had everything worked out."
"That would explain why she evaded the question of your feelings on her coming back for the execution. I didn't think you'd be OK with it."
"I'm not really. I didn't want her to go, but I guess I can understand why she wanted to be there. I just wish she would've let me come with her."
"You're right where you need to be Danny, taking care of Lucy. I'm gonna see if she wants me to go with her tonight, I don't think she will, but it won't hurt to try." After talking a brief pause, Robert continued. "Just think of it this way Danny: after tonight, this case will be over and Lindsay can start to heal and move forward."
Danny wasn't so sure about that, but he didn't want to let on about it. "I hope you're right, Dad, I really do. Speaking of Lucy, I gotta go pick her up from daycare."
"Sure, don't let me keep you any longer. You give her a hug and a kiss from me, alright? You look after her tonight and I'll do the same for Lindsay."
"OK, have a good night."
"You too Danny. Bye."
"Bye."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXX
The next day, the day of Lindsay's return, Danny was like a zombie, mindlessly going to work and for once a bit grateful that he would be catching up on paperwork because he knew he wouldn't be able to focus on actual work today. He hadn't been able to sleep last night, thinking non-stop about Lindsay and what she was going through. After talking with his father-in-law, the frustration and hurt that Danny had been feeling for days had started to disappear, leaving him with the desperate need to just hear her voice and know that she was OK. He wished that he could do as he'd done years ago, fly out to Montana on a moment's notice to support her, but there was no way for him to do that this time, which only made him more desperate to hear from her.
After what seemed liked days of staring at his computer screen and consulting his chicken-scratch handwritten notes, his cellphone ringing in his pocket broke him out of his monotonous stupor. Without even sparing a glance at the caller ID, he answered.
"Detective Danny Messer."
"Hi Dan, it's me."
With just four simple words, he felt his body start to come back to life. Nothing else mattered at the moment but the sound of her voice.
"Linds, hi. How are you?"
"I'm OK Danny. Look, I'm sorry I haven't called before, I –"
"No, no it's fine." As the words came out of his mouth, he found them to be true. Yesterday they would not have been and he won't be surprised if his anger returned at some point later, but for now he didn't care. "I'm just glad you called – I miss you babe."
"I miss you too Danny, you and Lucy both. How is she doing?"
The mention of their daughter brought a small smile to his face. "She's good, not giving me any more trouble than usual, thank God. She misses you too, but she's excited that she can see you before school tomorrow, she's been drawing all kinds of pictures for you and I know she's gonna fill you in on everything you've missed in the past couple of days. You might want to brace yourself."
"OK."
Lindsay went silent on the other end of the phone, which only worried Danny. Once again, he wished that he could see her, wrap her up in his arms and chase her demons away. "Lindsay, are you still there?" he asked, his concern bleeding through.
"Sorry, just zoned out for a second there. It's been a long couple of days, and I'm just ready to come back home. I should let you go before Mac chews me out for distracting you while you're on shift."
"I'm stuck doing paperwork. Your call gave me an excuse to give my eyes a rest. And you and I both know that Mac wouldn't do that, especially not to his 'star pupil': you've always been in his good books, unlike some of us." He hoped she'd take the bait, never one to sit idly by and get called 'teacher's pet,' but she didn't.
"I really should go Danny, I need to check in for my flight."
Dejectedly, he pinched the bridge of his nose before answering. "Sure babe. Are you certain you don't want me to come meet you at the airport? I'd be more than happy to…"
"I'll be fine Danny. I get in after Lucy's bedtime, so it would be such an inconvenience for both of you. I'll just take a cab home. Thanks for offering, though, it was a nice thought."
"Yeah, no problem. I'll see you at home then. Bye Lindsay, I love you."
"I love you too Danny. Bye."
Hanging up the phone, Danny suddenly realized he wasn't alone in the office anymore.
"Hey Mac, you need something?"
"No, I was walking by and heard my name. I'm going to guess that my so-called 'star pupil' is your wife."
"Yeah," Danny replied sheepishly, feeling a bit bad about his comment.
"How is she doing?" Mac seemed to be glossing over the slight, and Danny was more than happy to follow suit.
"You know Lindsay, she just keeps soldiering on like nothing's bothering her," Danny replied with a sad smile.
"That sounds like her. You just stay strong Danny and keep doing what you're doing. When she'd ready to talk, she'll find her way back to you." Mac finished his statement by giving Danny a supportive smile.
"You sound like my father-in-law."
"Well, you know what they say about great minds…" The two men shared a brief laugh before Mac continued. "Now get back to work before you end up in my bad books again."
With a smirk, Mac walked off, leaving Danny to chuckle to himself before doing as he was told.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXX
Later that night, after he put Lucy to bed and started the slow, agonizing wait for Lindsay to show up at home, Danny got an unexpected text from Lindsay informing him that her flight had got in early and she was just getting into a cab outside the terminal. Wishing once again that he was at the airport waiting for her, if only for the fact that it would let him see her faster, he tried to be patient and wait for her to walk back through the front door, but he wasn't very successful. After five solid minutes of non-stop fidgeting, he got up from the couch and went to the kitchen, deciding that making himself a cup of tea might just calm him down. Once the tea was brewed, he took a quick sip, not wanting to burn his mouth, but it did nothing to settle his body or his mind. Leaving the cup on the counter, he started to pace back and forth, his whole body screaming at him to see Lindsay as soon as possible. He knew that there was no way for him to track her down in a city filled to the brim with cabs, but the more he thought about it, he soon realized that there was a way for him to see her a tiny bit faster. Liking his plan the more he considered it, he grabbed the mug off the counter and went to go put his shoes.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXX
Sitting out on the front stoop of their building, nursing his mug of tea, Danny's restlessness finally started to subside. He sat there quietly and watched the cars and people pass by on the somewhat-busy street, getting a few strange looks from people who noticed the lone figure sitting outside a typical New York apartment building. He paid the gawkers little mind, undeterred from his mission to see Lindsay as soon as possible.
He must have been sat there for twenty minutes when Lindsay finally showed up. In his mind, he'd imagined that the moment he saw her he would be on his feet and all but running over to her to gather her up in his arms. Instead, he found himself glued to the spot, watching her pay her fare and then collect her bag from the trunk. He recognized the moment she actually registered his presence because she startled for a second before a small smile played across one corner of her mouth. Setting down the mug on the stoop, he casually made his way down the steps to stand in front of her, not hesitating for a second before wrapping her up in his arms. He thought about saying something to her, but he decided against it as he felt her arms wrap tightly around his back. In lieu of speaking, he leaned down to kiss the crown of her head before letting go of her, bending down to take her bag from her and then leading them back to their home. He reached back to take her hand in his free one and when she shook him off he was disappointed but as he felt her curl her fingers into his back pocket and follow behind him, Danny felt hope blossom in his chest – hope that his Lindsay was coming back to him.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXX
Standing waiting for the elevator to arrive, he felt Lindsay suddenly tense at his back. Looking over his shoulder, he saw the panic rising in her eyes. "Babe, what is it?"
"Where's Lucy?"
He let out a small sigh of relief. "She's upstairs in bed."
"You left her all by herself in our apartment?!"
"Of course not! I asked Mrs. Goldberg to look in on her."
"Oh." Lindsay shook her head at her own silliness. "Sorry Danny, I guess I'm still kinda out of it after the flight."
He knew there was way more to it than that, but he let the comment slide. "Don't worry about it, I'm just glad you're home."
"Me too."
The ride upstairs to their apartment was silent, Lindsay finally taking his hand and lacing their fingers together. It was left up to Danny to lead them down the hall to their door and open it, and then politely deal with the elderly woman who lived two doors down and who always had a wide smile and a kind ear for their talkative five year old. When they were alone again, Lindsay disentangled herself from Danny and sat down on the couch, not really knowing what else to do. Once she'd recovered from the initial shock of that letter and wrestled her emotions back down for the time being, she'd gone into autopilot mode for the most part, afraid to put more thought into what she'd been doing lest it drag up all the things she'd been hiding from for more than twenty years now. With the case completely wrapped up now, though, there was this voice in the back of her head telling her to finally let go – to grieve for her friends one last time and then begin to move on. In theory, it sounded easy, but she knew that in reality it would be anything but.
"Hey babe, can I get you anything?" Danny's voice broke Lindsay out of her reveries.
"Water would be great, thanks."
As she listened to Danny head for the kitchen, Lindsay decided that tonight, she'd try to open up to him about that part of her past. If she ever had any chance of moving on, she knew that she couldn't keep it all bottled up anymore. She needed to start somewhere, and since everything associated with that time was already at the edges of her mind, at least the doorway to those emotions was already opened.
As Danny brought the water over to the couch and handed it to her, he wondered how to start this conversation. He wanted to ask her how she was dealing with everything and get an honest answer out of her, but he recognized that that would require her to address her past. He didn't have a clue whether she would be able to do that yet, but he needed to try. First, though, a lighter topic to ease them into it.
"How's your dad doing?"
"He's good, keeps plugging along as always. I know he misses Mom every day, but he doesn't let it stop him from living. He talked about coming out here around New Year's, says he wants to see what all the hullaballoo is about the ball drop in Times Square. That may be true, but mostly he just wants to see Lucy and spend time with her – I wasn't even there for forty-eight hours and he barely went an hour without bringing Lucy up in some way. It was sweet really, it helped distract me for a while."
"Maybe we could go visit him in the summer, take a break from the city for a week or two and relax with the cows out in the wheatfields."
Lindsay gave him a look for the comment, but said nothing about it. "Yeah, I'm sure Lucy would love to go, she doesn't remember the last trip we took out there, she was too young." She let the rest be unspoken between them, the fact that the last trip they'd taken to Montana was for Lindsay's mother's funeral. "Anyways," she eventually continued, "I know you called my dad."
"What, no," he tried to deny it, but with her face telling him that she didn't believe him, he changed tactics and went into damage control mode. "How did you know?"
"You just confirmed what I'd guessed." He mentally kicked himself for falling into the trap – apparently her current emotional turmoil had no effect on her ability to recognize when he was bullshitting her. "I heard my dad talking on the phone when I got back – it was just the tail end of the conversation, so I didn't know who was on the other end – but after that, my dad became very interested in whether or not I'd talked to you since arriving in Montana. If you do the math, it's not that hard." She shrugged as she finished speaking, which only put Danny more on edge.
"I'm sorry Linds, I just didn't know what else to do. You weren't calling me back or even texting me, I had to know that you were OK. Are you really mad?" He tried not to wince as he asked her.
She let out a heavy sigh before answering. "No, I'm not mad – annoyed maybe – but I understand your reasoning and I can't really fault you for it; if our roles were reversed, I'd probably have done the same thing."
They let the silence creep in then, both unsure of what to say next. When Danny couldn't take it any longer, he screwed up the courage to get closer to what he really wanted to talk about. "Linds, do you mind if I ask you something about the case and the execution?"
Immediately, warning bells went off in her head. Despite her decision to start opening up to Danny about her past, she could feel her instincts wanting to kick in, telling her to push her feelings down and do or say anything to change the subject. This time, though, Lindsay chose to fight against it and hear Danny out, vowing to herself that if his question was too much for her to handle, she wouldn't answer.
"OK," she said calmly, knowing there was little she could do to prepare.
Danny was a bit surprised by her answer, so it took him a few extra moments to formulate his question and ask it. "Do you feel any differently now that Katums is dead?"
Lindsay let the query roll around her head a few times, her answer taking shape at the same time. This was a question she could answer, so she did.
"That was one of the reasons why I eventually decided to be there when Katums died: I wanted to see if it would change what I've been feeling for more than twenty years now. The answer is yes and no. It feels different now because the case is completely closed – Katums had paid for his crimes and the girls and their families have that last piece of closure, that elusive piece of justice that took sixteen years to even begin to come to fruition. At the same time, though, absolutely nothing has changed: I still despise Katums for what he did to them, but to me too. You know, he called me 'the one that got away' – tried to tell me that I'd ID'd the wrong guy, tried to make me doubt myself just like he's been doing since it happened. He only admitted what he'd done and asked for forgiveness when they asked if he had any last words."
Danny took her hand then, unsure if she really needed the contact but he certainly did. She gave his hand a gentle squeeze and start speaking again.
"It didn't change the fact that four girls are dead either. It didn't mean that it would hurt any less to remember that my three best friends are gone, or that I wouldn't miss them every day."
"Oh babe," Danny tried to pull her into him but she resisted, even as the tears fell freely down her face. "Linds, you don't have to do this alone, you never had to do this on your own, I would've gone with you…"
"No, I did. I've been handling this on my own for years now because it's easier for me to do it that way and it's worked for the most part. I don't regret making that choice, just like I've never regretted what I chose to do for a living."
"What do you mean?" he asked, his brow knitted in confusion.
"My dad took me fishing yesterday so we could talk and he asked me whether I'd seen enough, between what happened when I was a teen and what I see day in and day out as a cop and criminalist. I told him that I don't regret my choices or my job and he let it go."
"Oh, I guess I've never thought about it like that." He paused for a moment to let it sink in, but then suddenly a thought occurred to him. "You know that if you ever change your mind about it, I'll never think any less of you. If ever the day comes that you can't do the job anymore, I'll support you in whatever you decide to do next, so long as it ain't illegal."
She cracked a small smile then and nodded her head. "I know that Danny, and I would do the same for you, no questions asked."
He returned the smile and after a few more minutes of silence he dared ask her another question. "I have another thing I want to ask you Lindsay, but if it's too much, please don't push yourself. I know how you're still affected by what happened all those years ago and that you miss your friends everyday – that much I've picked up on over the years – but I've never heard you say their names. The only one I know is Sarah, the girl who was working at the diner that night. These girls meant and still mean the world to you, and I don't even know their names. Can you tell me?"
This question wasn't quite as easy for her to answer as the first one. She remained silent for a long time, coming very close on multiple occasions to shutting him down, but despite what she'd promised to herself about not answering questions that were too much, too soon, there was a niggling part of her brain that refused to give up so easily. Their names seemed like a safe place to start, even if she was about to reveal a connection between past and present that Danny knew nothing about.
"My friends…my friends were named Kelly, Caroline, and…and –" Her voice broke off then, but she really didn't know why. The last name was one she'd been using on a daily basis for the past five years. Taking a deep breath, she finished what she started. "And my best, best friend was named Lucy."
Danny's jaw dropped immediately and somewhere in the back of his mind he was thankful that he was sitting down at the moment. As soon as the shock started to wear off, the guilt came rushing forward to fill the void. This time, when Danny used their linked hands to bring her closer, she put up no resistance. Letting go of her hand once she was at his side, he used both his hands to cradle her face and bring them eye to eye, unbothered by the tears starting to form in his own eyes.
"Why didn't you tell me Linds? I just liked the name, I never realized. If I'd known, I wouldn't have pushed you so hard on it. God, I…"
"It's alright Danny, I couldn't have told you back then, but if it had been too much to handle, I never would've agreed to the name, I promise you. The truth is, I eventually agreed to call our daughter Lucy for two reasons: 1) she actually looked like a Lucy, so it fit, and 2) even if I couldn't admit it at the time, I liked the idea of honouring my best friend, of having a part of her live on in more than just memories."
"But what about your other friends?"
It was a valid question. Screwing up her courage, she gave him more of the story.
"Kelly and Caroline both have siblings who've named a daughter after their fallen sisters, but Lucy was an only child, a bit of a miracle at that. Her parents tried for years to have children, but it never happened. Eventually they went to a doctor and were told that their chances of conceiving were next to zero. They were ranchers, so adoption was too expensive. They gave up on that dream and just went about their lives until about a year later when they found out they were pregnant. Once Lucy came along, she was the centre of their whole universe…"
Lindsay quickly stopped herself then, knowing that she was on the verge of reliving how Lucy's parents took their daughter's death. That was something she really didn't need to go through again. Thankfully, Danny chose that exact moment to speak. "And your parents never said anything to me about it?"
"No. I told them that you were pushing for that name after I found out we were having a girl. They knew how hard it was for me to talk about the girls, so I guess they just assumed you didn't know about the meaning of that name to me and they didn't think it was their place to enlighten you."
She hesitated for a few moments before asking a question of her own. "Are you mad that I never said anything?"
"No, not at all," he assured her confidently, "but now some things make more sense, like your suggestion of her middle name, Aiden. I think it's a beautiful tribute to both our friends, something that one day we can explain to our daughter. She's still her own person – with us as parents there was never any doubt about that – but her name had meaning to both of us, a part of you and a part of me just like she is."
She smiled at him, seeing the truth of his statement. Suddenly, another story came to mind and this time she didn't think too much before letting the words come out.
"You know, it was partially because of Lucy that I came here in the first place. I remember lying under the stars with her in my yard, talking about the future. She asked me if I was going to move away and I said that I planned on staying in Montana, but she wasn't. She wanted to move to a big city, see what the rest of the world had to offer. I wasn't actively looking to leave the lab in Bozeman, but when the job posting for the lab here popped up, I was just starting to think about changing my life and I couldn't seem get that night out of my head. When I saw the New York posting, I jumped on it. I've never really looked back since then." She paused for a moment and as Danny looked down at her, he watched as a wistful smile suddenly crossed her face and her eyes start to tear up a bit. Before he had the chance to ask her what was wrong, she spoke again. "I guess you could say that in part, it was a Lucy that brought me to New York and it is a Lucy that keeps me here now."
When she finished speaking, Lindsay watched as her husband absorbed her statement, emotions flying freely across his face – surprise, acceptance, sadness – before all she could see was his love for her written all across his features. She let it all wash over her for a moment before closing the distance between them and sealing their lips together, trying to convey that love back to him with the kiss.
As they finally broke apart to get some much needed air, Lindsay tucked her head under his chin and let herself go. Allowing the walls around her heart when it came to her friends to start to fall, she felt the emotional and physical drain that she'd been avoiding for days now – really years now – wash over her, but where she'd been expecting herself to break down and cry, she found herself drawing strength from Danny. She was raw on the inside and exhausted, but with Danny beside her, so willing to support her any way he could while asking almost nothing from her in return, she found that she could face her past without having to fear it. She'd never thought that opening up about her friends would be something she'd be able to do, but apparently what she'd needed all along was the right person to open up to.
"Thank you," she suddenly blurted out, catching Danny off-guard once more. He looked at her in confusion, about to ask just what she was thanking him for but suddenly it didn't seem so important to him. His Lindsay was back, sitting right at his side and if she believed that he'd played a part in bringing her back, that was enough for him.
"You're welcome," he replied simply with a kiss to her temple. "I don't really want to break the mood here, but would you be against us going to bed right now? I'm exhausted and I'm pretty sure you are too."
"That sounds wonderful."
Lindsay didn't feel any need to rush talking about her friends. She'd taken the first major step tonight, and after twenty-plus years, that was more than enough. The rest of it would come in time; right now, she just wanted her husband.
Taking his hand again, Lindsay rose from the couch and brought Danny with her to their bedroom. In silence, they both changed into their pajamas before collapsing on the bed, immediately burrowing under the covers together. After some many nights of both emotional and actual physical separation, Lindsay couldn't seem to get close enough to him. When she finally settled on a position – basically lying on top of him – she smiled to herself as Danny's arms banded around her, apparently needing her just as much as she needed him.
Within minutes, both of them were asleep, everything but the closeness of the other being of secondary importance in that moment.
Ugh – If you've made it all the way to the end of this, you have my deepest gratitude, and my most heartfelt sympathies. I'm going to go beat my head against a wall now.
Thank you for reading,
unlikelyRLshipper
