Dean felt like his inside's were burning. "I'm tired Dean." He wanted to scream. He was tired to damn it. He was frustrated and wanted to give up most of the time. He shook his head softly, not wanted the conversation to go any farther than it already had. He knew that look in Castiel's eyes. He'd been seeing it more and more lately. It looked just like a goodbye. A goodbye he just wasn't ready for yet. "Let's just both keep our secrets for now." Dean sounded a lot tougher than he felt as he sat down on the bed they'd shared for moths now. That's right, it had been months. Six to be exact. He hadn't been moving, running, in half a year now. Dean absorbed the happiness readily, excepting it quickly over what he knew he couldn't lie about forever. He cold fight it, try to hide it. But he knew the angel wouldn't for much longer. Castiel's lips pulled up into a sad, regretful smile. He almost hurled. He hated that look. He felt like a small child being pitied when he gave him that look. He just wanted to live in the past for a few more hours and damn it he was going to.
He pushed Castiel onto the bed and ran his shaking hands threw his hair. His lips found the angel's quickly and with a need that surprised both men. Dean took his hands from the other mans hair and slid them under his shirt, fingers gripping at his hips and pulling him closer. Castiel moaned softly and wrapped his arms around Dean, agreeing with the distraction. Shirts were discarded and hands roamed free over bare plains of skin. Dean undid both of their pants and soon they were clad only in boxers, rolling on top of each other, groaning and groping like it was the last time they ever could. All thoughts of talking slipped from their minds as the last pieces of clothing were shed and Dean slid slowly into Castiel. Castiel gasped and Dean covered his open mouth with his own. Their tongues battled for dominance as their bodies moved together. Dean slowed the kisses, made them more meaningful, more emotional, as he neared his climax. They touched lovingly now, enjoying their last few minutes of ecstasy before release came for them both. The lay beside each other, panting and trying to catch their breath as the waves of pleasure wore of and something new settled in.
Castiel turned to Dean. "We need to talk." Dean shuddered, but not with pleasure this time. "Not tonight Cas. Let's just rest." Castiel shook his head. "This must happen now." Dean panicked. His eyes scanned the room looking for an escape. He couldn't do this. "I must leave you Dean." Dean closed his eyes. He couldn't do it. He couldn't face tomorrow without Castiel. It would be different, meaningless he realized. He wanted Castiel to stay. He didn't want to angel to return to his home. "No you don't." Castiel opened his mouth to speak and Dean put a finger up to silence. "No. We'll be fine Castiel. We're fine now, we will be tomorrow. We'll make it. Look at me and tell me." Castiel looked down at the floor. Dean let his pride slip for a moment and his tone became begging. "Cas, just look at me. I need it. Look me straight in the eye and lie." Shock filled the angels eyes. They were always truthful. Dean hated being lied to. "Please lie." Dean felt so lost, so broken and abandoned. How could Castiel not give his this last request, after everything he had put him through. "We will be fine Dean. Nothing bad is going to happen." And then he leaned his face down and kissed Dean soft as a feather. Blackness over took Dean and even in his dreams he knew Castiel was gone.