Stages of Grief

Damon was in grief. Oh no, Stefan wasn't dead as you may have thought. It was a loss far worse than even that. It was the death of Damon himself. The death of his cold, black heart. The death of all that made him who he was. You see, his heart… a heart that was all but shrivelled and dead, or so he thought… his heart was slowly unfurling as a butterfly gradually emerges from its cocoon. His heart… a heart that was as frozen as the landscape of the North Pole, or so he thought… his heart was slowly melting as an M&M's sugary shell dissolves to reveal its sweet chocolate centre. His heart… a heart that was no more man than the heart of an artichoke, or so he thought… his heart was slowly having feelings of the sort that Shakespeare wrote about. And the cause of his heart's death, you might ask, was none other than the little witch Bonnie.

Denial

Damon was in denial. There was no way this was happening to him. I mean, he was Damon 'Freaking' Salvatore. Breaker of a million women's hearts… and necks in that order. Lover of exactly one woman. Well, maybe it was two. But, Elena was Katherine's doppelganger so possibly it was technically still one. The only reason he was attracted to her was that she resembled Katherine. In over 100 years, he had loved only one woman and that was the way it was going to remain. So, no, this was definitely not happening. Not now, not to him. He was categorically not falling in love with another woman. No. Unquestionably not. In fact, he couldn't care less if the little witch lived or died. To prove his point, he even said to Elena with conviction; 'If it comes down to you and the witch again, I will gladly let Bonnie die. I will always choose you.' He hoped she didn't see straight through his denial.

Anger

Damon was pissed off. How could this be happening? What was he, Damon 'Sadist' Salvatore? Did he have some kind of sick twisted attraction to women who couldn't stand him? Katherine, case in point, preferred his brother. Elena, case in point, preferred his brother. Bonnie, case in point, preferred Elena's brother! What the fuck was that all about? Not that he cared who she preferred. Hell no. He, on the other hand, would prefer her dead.

Bargaining

Damon bargaining really didn't make any sense at all. First of all, he didn't exactly believe in God so there was no higher power to bargain with. He settled for his idea of the next best thing…black magic.

'Look, can't you do some reverse Shallow Hal mojo and make her appear hideous to my eyes that way she'll no longer be attractive to me?' he questioned for what seemed to be the umpteenth time.

'Damon, much as I appreciate you offering up your brother's car so that I can get rid of your...um...emotional problem, you need to understand that love is the strongest feeling in the world. Have you not read Harry Potter? You can't mess with that shit.' The dreadlocked warlock replied for the millionth time with infinite patience.

Damon raised an eyebrow. Of all the things his highly creative mind might have ever imagined a black magic dealer saying to him, this was not one of them.

'So you can't do some voodoo to make her invisible to me for all time the way Lamia mojod Ditchwater Sal into not seeing Yvaine in Stardust?'

Bargaining 2

Damon was attempting to bargain with his traitor heart. He was willing to spend the rest of his unlife pursuing Elena with a passion unmatched by even Stefan as long as his treacherous heart would forget about Bonnie.

Depression

Damon was deeply sad. One might even say that he was depressed. What was the point of his unlife anyway? 160 odd years and nothing to show for it. Plenty of killing, and for what? For some girl to look at him like he was dirt beneath her tiny shoes? He closed himself in his room and proceeded to drink himself to oblivion.

Acceptance

Damon was a realist. He took life as it came. So, he was in love with Bonnie. There, he said it. He loved Bonnie. That wasn't so hard. The first step towards recovery was admitting you had a problem, right? Now that he'd admitted it to himself, maybe things would get back to normal and he would stop getting tense-excited whenever Bonnie was around...wait one second; that almost sounded like his old enemy; denial!

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