Reflections
Rating: K
Genre: General/Romance
Summary: Spock takes a few minutes to reflect his new outlook on life due to his Captain's inffluence...[Spock's 3rd POV].
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, Star Trek does not belong to me. But that is okay; I still can play around with the characters here! ^_^
If one were to ask Spock did he believe in the concept of 'destiny' or 'fate', he'd be the first person to tell you a firm "no". Spock's world revolved around tangible evidence, irrefutable logic, and statistical facts. Give him any problem, ask him any question, and he'd be hard-pressed to give you a mechanical, straight forward, no-nonsense answer.
This was just how Spock was. How he was raised. No one had dared to challenge him, to make him rethink of his actions or his ways of going about situations as being inferior or lacking.
Until he met a certain young Terran by the name of Kirk, that is. And then Spock's whole view on life was turned upside down. Metaphorically speaking of course, because to say that life, in itself, could be turned upside down...why, that would be simply illogical.
No, Spock attested that Kirk's open-minded outlook on life, and his interactions with people, specifically, was inspiring, if not fascinating, to say the least. Kirk had told Spock that his methods of dealing with people lacked emotion. To which Spock thought was redundant, seeing as he repressed his emotions. Which would explain why he did not express them in the first place.
As Spock laid down on the bed, lying on his side facing the sleeping face of his Captain, his mind reverted back to his youngling years, when he'd been taunted by his peers, in an attempt to promote emotional reactions. When he had succumbed to their instigations, he had experienced shame and embarassment at the reprimands from his father, and sadness from the pity in his beloved mother's eyes.
That had been the first time he had seriously given thought to just purging his emotions completely, because all they brought him was resentment, ridicule and trouble.
And then there was the incident on the Bridge when he'd lost control and attacked Kirk. At the recollection, Spock let out a sharp, painful breath, and Kirk's sleeping form moved slightly, but the Captain remained asleep. Spock's dark eyes rested on the man's face, taking it all in. His mind was still remembering...
After his unfavorable behavior towards Kirk, and the event with Nero had finished, he sought out the Captain to make amends. And he came away from that meeting having learned something that all his years on Vulcan could not teach.
As Kirk told him after Spock had apologized, "Logic is sound, tried and true. It can help in a lot of situations. But do not disreguard your emotions, because they can give you what logic cannot; a sense of authencity. Logic merely states what is, or what isn't. Emotions help you make descions that logic would not give you the options to. If emotions weren't important, you wouldn't have been born with them in the first place. Besides, they make life more enjoyable..."
That was the fist time in Spock's life that he had not been shamed, or chatised for his displays of emotion. He started to look at things a little differently. After that, he tried to show his emotions more periodically, until he was comfortable with slight smiles, and frowns, or to whichever the occasion called for.
Spock reached out a tentative hand, and gently ran a finger down the side of his Captain's face, tracing along the outline of his jaw. It was Jim who had opened Spock's eyes to what was. It was Jim who accepted Spock for who he was, and not what he was trying so hard to be. He accepted the Vulcan in his First Officer, as well as the human in him just as equally. He just had to get Spock to accept it as well.
And once he had, his relationship with the Captain had evolved spectacularly, in ways he hadn't thought probable. But if there was one thing about his Captain, it was that he didn't always follow the rules of logic.
Spock gave his Captain an affectionate smile, though of course he couldn't see it behind his closed eyelids. Affection and love swirled deeply in the half-Vulcan's chest, and he scooted closer to Kirk, suddenly desperate for his body to be touching the Terran's. He put his arm around Kirk's waist, and almost instinctively, Kirk arched his hips up, bringing his leg up and over Spock's so their bodies were almost fused together, not an inch between them.
Spock let out a contented sigh, feeling better already.
Yes, logic couldn't explain this. Him and James T. Kirk. Together. Facts fell short, and explanations fell flat. But that didn't matter, because this was Kirk. And with Kirk, all logic flew out the window. It took a long time for Spock to learn that, but he finally did with his Captain's guidance. And he would be forever grateful.
"I love you, t'hy'la..." he whispered sincerely, his heart searing with intense affection once again for the man before him. He placed a gentle kiss atop of Kirk's head before pulling back to look at him again.
Finally putting his reflections to rest, Spock lowered his head onto the pillow, and slowly let his eyes drift close. He missed seeing Kirk's eyelid lift open for a moment, and the soft grin forming on Kirk's lips as he took in Spock's serene looking face.
After a quiet moment, Kirk closed his eye, and the two lovers eventually succumbed to sleep.
A/N: Okay, so this story was not planned at all; I was just cruising around on youtube and found this BRILLIANT Spock/Kirk 2009 video titled "We Are One" and the song and clips from the movie were well put together! As I quickly typed this 13 minutes ago, I listened to "We Are One" by Kelly Sweet. Tears almost came to my eyes. You guys can consider this a fluffy drabble. I just seem to be in the mood of having Spock and Kirk already together in my stories.
Anyway, I'll probably post a few more one-shots to hold you guys over, because I am in the process of writing a novel-length Spock/Kirk story, in which they are not together romantically, yet, but the presence of a...particular child...slowly brings them together. Well, it's still in the early stages, so keep your fingers crossed! Oh, and if you want me to write any kind of one-shot or story with Kirk/Spock pairing, let me know. I'm up for challenges and reguests. Just PM me if you want me to write a particular story for you! ;)