It always irks me when I see that remark about elves wondeing why Feanor chose a awife of little beauty. It seems so unjust.
Two standards
To say about someone that they lacked fairness in a society that cherished beauty – it was almost like an insult. The elves in the Blessed Realm could enjoy all the riches they could imagine, yet there were still some willing to compare the looks and instead of praising the fairer, they pointed the lacks of the other.
There was no Darkness in the hearts of elves at that time or it was just growing unnoticed, and though unreturned love was the greatest grief, there were smaller ones as well. And as it usually is, words could hurt.
Nerdanel was not a beauty, but she was never made to think she lacked something until she started appearing on the court in the prince's company. Perhaps, had she passed by like one of many visiting Finwe's palace, she would never have been noticed. But Fёanaro saw her first in her father's workshops, shortly after he had come to study under Mahtan's careful supervision. The young prince was eager to learn and back then she was interested equally in sculpting and blacksmithing. She knew her father's smithy inside out and unlike most of the elleths, she enjoyed spending time there. That was where they first met.
Fёanaro loved fairness equally to the beauty of creation and knowledge. What was important for him, was the passion in her eyes as she helped him find himself in Mahtan's forge and worked with him. They could engage themselves in a new project, but while Fёanaro was eager to rush forward, Nerdanel was able to withhold him a bit and bring harmony where he lacked it. They were young; very young, by elves' count. But nonetheless, they did not hesitate to make a decision that bound them together to the end of Arda. Fёanaro even abandoned his father's palace and moved to Mahtan before their own house was built.
And so, while Finwe and Indis organised parties, both of them chose lone journeys, away from all those who tried to criticize the decisions of the prince. Perhaps they ran away. He – from his father's new family he could not accept. She – from all those who sometimes wondered all too loudly why Fёanaro chose such a wife of little beauty, as if there was nothing else that defined her; at least before she was counted among the Wise. There, in the lands rarely visited by elves, there was no one to make remarks about Fёanaro's doubtful behaviour at times and his conflicts with his brother, as well as his personal decisions. There, they could wander endlessly and seek stones for her sculpting or jewels that were to become jewellery. There, away from everything, they conceived their firstborn and no one could tell he was not fair. And that was beautiful.
In the years that were yet to come Nerdanel regretted that their marriage in an early age was not the most controversial deed of Fёanaro.
Please tell me what you think. If there's anything wrong, feel free to tell me as well, I'm not a kid to get offended.