Love?…Stupid
-Kiera-
-A question that people frequently ask me is: have you ever been in Love? My answer to that is and always will be no. I believe that Love is trivial, that it overcomplicates things and prevents people from really enjoying their lives. We as humans have so little time to live before we start to break down and decay that there should be no limit to what we are allowed to do with the time we're given, before everything is taken away from us and we are left faded copies of our former selves. I've seen it happen and I don't want to be Love's next victim. The thought of being tied down and controlled by another, it frightens me. I am my own person thus only I know what I want, what I'm capable of, what is too much for me. Another thing that is frequently said to me is: you'll find someone eventually, someone who will love you for who you are and will be faithful forever. My answer to that is never spoken aloud, I just smile and nod. But, on the inside I know that I will never be able to experience this emotion called Love. Why? Because, I don't Love who I am and I am not inclined to being faithful. That is why Love will never conquer me. That is why Love…is stupid. -
"Who's it going to be tonight Kiera?" My friend Yakimono Yuhei asked me as we walked down the street towards Konoha's "Red Light District". It really wasn't all that bad, just a couple of blocks where you could find sleazy hotels, adult movie and toy stores, nightclubs and bars where sexual deviancy is promoted and the occasional whore. Everyone in the village knew it was here and most of them visited at least once but that was never openly acknowledged. In all honesty this little dirty secret of a sub-culture within our otherwise perfect world is necessary. Shinobi need a way to unwind and considering that most ninja are between the ages of fifteen and thirty with hyperactive stamina and often obscure tastes in the carnal pleasures, a "Red Light District" really wasn't surprising once you gave it some thought. I was one of these Shinobi between the ages of fifteen and thirty with hyperactive stamina and a desire for carnal pleasure and I needed to unwind.
"I don't know, whoever catches my eye first. I'm not looking to play hard-to-get tonight, just want to have some fun."
"What if he's here?"
"Then we'll fuck. What do you want from me Mo?" I shook my long, bone-straight hair over my shoulders and studied my companion. Yakimono, or Mo as she was more commonly known, was the closest thing I had to a best girlfriend and my polar opposite. Where I was tall, she was tiny. Her hair had slight waves, was dark as night and her skin pale as snow, without scars or tattoos marring it. My hair was so straight it looked unnatural and its silver color only added to the 'exoticness'. There were various scars on my lightly tanned skin but two stood out and they weren't from missions or fights with other ninja; the one on my neck looked like two teeth puncture marks over my jugular, given to me by a former lover Kiba Inuzuka. The second was on my face, it started at my hairline and went down over my eyelid and cheek bone all the way to my lips. That one I got from…it's not important. Back to me and Mo…My eyes are a deep blue, I think the color was once described as indigo. Mo's eyes were not normal. She was nearly blind and kept them covered with a blindfold most of the time. But that didn't stop her from doing anything, even if she was more prone to accidents. Mo was the sweetest thing but I can never figure her out. I'm not exactly the greatest friend; I'm selfish, incredibly vain and confident to a vault but, here she was coming with me to go pick up a guy when she knew that I was more than likely going to leave her to walk home alone and not think twice about it. "We can't help it. He sees me and forgets all about her and that's perfectly fine by me. Kiba needs to have some fun every once in a while, that fiancé of his has a real stick up her ass."
"But what if she finds out about you two? What then?"
"She probably knows already, I leave enough bites and bruises for that but she can more than likely smell it too. She is marrying into the Inuzuka's, it's not a bad idea to learn their ways. I just learned how to cook steak back when Kiba and I were 'together'." 'Together' for me meant sex, not exclusively with the one person but far more than I'd normally give.
"What if she loves him Kiera, you're going to make her—"
"Nothing worse than what happened when she took him away from me, Kiba was the best fuck I ever had and she isn't even taking advantage of that fact. No, instead she decides to wait till marriage and leave the poor guy with no options, so I became an option again. If he calls it off with Taki, she'll know how I felt. I'm simply returning the favor." The look Mo gave me was not a pleasant one; she only ever got annoyed with me when I planned on ruining a relationship intentionally. It didn't occur too often but when it did, I made sure to ignore my tiny porcelain doll of a friend and just do whatever the fuck I wanted.
"I hope he's not there for your sake, his and Taki's. If you continue to do this with him one of you is going to be hurt, I fear beyond repair. Kiera you can have anyone you want, why is he so important?"
I wasn't sure how to respond to her. Kiba was a friend before a lover and I guess that is what spurred our chemistry. The connection was already there between us before we hooked up and it only increased afterwards, he even went as far as to tell me he loved me. But, I didn't say it back and he didn't need me to. He understood me. Kiba had the unique ability to infer just what a person needs and then give it to them. Oh, he could give it good, very good. "He's the best sex I've ever had and I just don't want him to end up like one of those stupid married men who can only say 'yes' to their baby-maker wives while they work a miserable desk job and secretly contemplate suicide. He doesn't want that but isn't quite sure how to say it to his mom. That's the only reason he's still putting up with Taki, because he isn't sure how to break her heart gently, not that I care."
"Do you love him?" We had reached the club B.A.D (Bitches and Dicks) and before entering, I stopped Mo and looked directly at those covered eyes, wanting her to see the expression of sheer hate on my face. Love was a touchy subject with me and she'd just struck a nerve.
"No! I do not love him."
"Then why do you care about Taki so much?" She made a valid point but it all made sense to me in my head. Kiba was mine first so, no one else could have him. I took his virginity for gods' sake and wore his mark on my body…he was mine!
"Because, I'm childish and she has the one shiny new toy I can't have—and I want it. He doesn't even like her, it's an arranged marriage. So, what fucking right does she have to him?!"
"What gives you the right to ruin their engagement?" What Mo said was true, but that didn't matter to me. All that mattered was behind the doors of B.A.D: cheap sake, music with a heavy bass-line and a countless number of willing partners…and maybe if I was lucky, Kiba.
"These." I pointed to the scars on my neck that would always be there. Kiba was like an animal in more ways than one, especially in bed; he loved to bite and claim his ladies for his own and while he had slept with other women, we had done it so many times and he'd torn into my flesh on each occasion more than once so, I believed they'd never fade. And I didn't want them to. They kept us coming back for more.
I quickly adjusted my see-through mesh shirt and black strapless bra so my chest looked larger than its normal C-cup. My dark green cargo pants that were already sinfully low-slung were pulled down so my hipbones and underwear were just visible. Silver strands were unnecessarily smoothed as Mo and I entered the club. There was a live-band playing tonight and the dance floor was crowded but, that wouldn't be an issue. "Come on, I can't guide you in here." Mo hated clubs, especially this one but she was too nice to ever say anything about it. "How do I look?"
She sighed, "You look…nice." She just called me a whore, probably not a bad observation compared to how she was dressed. My friend had chosen a black and white mini-kimono dress that ended several inches above her knees; it showed no cleavage, not that she had any to begin with. Mo was small everywhere.
"If you see him, lemme know." I made my way to the bar and ordered a bottle of sake, just enough to get me loose. Mo took a seat next to me and shifted awkwardly in the dress so she could cover as much as possible, she wasn't entirely comfortable with the promiscuity of the place. She'd get over it.
"I don't see him but, Genma is over there with a few…ladies." Genma Shiranui, was a jonin several years older than me that I had successfully wrapped around my finger. He was my go-to guy, he'd come home with me any day of the week and I used that to my advantage.
"Can you check out the dance floor for me?" There was a reason I brought Mo with me to clubs. She used a jutsu that allowed her to see through things, so a mass of grinding bodies was nothing to her.
"Sai. That's the only one you know. He's alone, but not for long. There's a girl practically throwing herself at his crotch."
"How curvy is she?"
"Thin as a rail? Why does that matter?"
"Sai's an artist, so he appreciates the human body. The more he can examine and get his hands on, the better. In short he likes girls with a bit of meat on them, in both bed and his sketch pad. If she's anorexic he wouldn't want to touch her with a ten-foot pole, I've got all the time I need. "
"You let him draw you, didn't you?"
I sipped my drink calmly, "I wanted to see how it would come out, so I let him. I didn't expect it to be a naked picture though—and when he was finished we fucked. He offered to give me the sketch free of charge but I let him keep it."
"Wow Kiera…you're something else." Mo and I were talking casually, she was still perched on her stool like a frightened bird about to take flight while I was standing, leaning back against the bar. I knew how to show off and was doing so without really thinking about it. My arms were braced behind me making my chest stick out invitingly. Down lower my flat, toned stomach and sharp hipbones were only accented by the pants I was wearing. I knew how to attract people and sometimes did it without effort or want. The live music stopped, to be replaced with a sexual dance song and the band left the stage. It was too early for them to leave so I figured they were just getting drinks. I didn't give it any more thought than that.
"Hey baby, does the carpet match the curtains?" My hair being naturally grey in color often got a lot of attention, good and bad. It had been black when I was born but had faded with age, now it was slate with shocks of silver highlights. I loved my hair and not just because it gave me yet another edge over every other girl looking to get laid, I truly liked the way it looked. The guy that had just come up to me was the guitarist from the band, he was decent to look at but if he really needed a line like that to start something he wasn't worth my time. I decided to shut him down with one line of my own.
"They would, if there was anything to match with." I tried so hard not to start laughing as I saw his face, it was priceless. He looked like he'd just been punched in the gut.
"Is that an invitation?" Well, at least his recovery time was good.
"No, I'm actually waiting for someone."
"And if he doesn't show up?"
"He will." The conversation was over and we both knew it. He looked over me at Mo and smirked. "She's not interested." My friend, finally picking up that the guy meant her, was trying to disappear in her seat. But all that did was make her look exceptionally adorable and innocent.
"Why don't you let the little lady speak for herself. What do you say cutie, wanna come home with me?"
"Um…I—"
"Don't you have a show to play?" I stepped in front of Mo, not out of concern for my friend but because I was starting to get pissed. This bastard was starting to fuck with my night and I wasn't about to let that happen.
"Alright. I'll be back later." He stepped away from the bar and didn't even try to make it subtle as he checked us out before walking away. Having a man's eyes on me was something I was accustomed to but Mo, she was a different story.
"How could you let him talk like that? He was disrespectful and rude and—"
"And I handled it. He's a guy. Guys are assholes sometimes, there's nothing you can do."
"But Kiera what if he does come back, when you're not here? What am I gonna do then?"
"You don't have to stay. Leave if you want." I knew she wouldn't but it was necessary to at least give her a choice. She chose to stay with me and we scanned the crowds for another five minutes, looking for one red slashed face that meant we both could go home. "You wanna dance?"
"No."
"Lemme buy you a drink, you're scaring people."
"No."
"Fuck. Mo it's official, you're killing me." When she failed to respond I slammed my now empty bottle onto the bar and walked out to the dance floor where Sai was still being assaulted on all sides by sluts. I radiated sexual confidence and these girls who were so self-conscious they resorted to obscenity to get attention, parted without objection as I walked by. In the club atmosphere the animal instinct won over, alphas beat the lower members of the pack and it was accepted. I was by default, an alpha female. My 'puppy' Kiba had turned me into one and even though he was tied down that didn't mean I wasn't going to use the tricks he taught me. Sai, my current desire saw me approaching and walked away from his girls.
I started to dance but he wasn't interested in that. He grabbed my hand and pulled me away from the floor, through the club and into one of B.A.D's back rooms. Sai was a man of few words. "Hello, Commander. It's a pleasure to see you." I was higher ranked than Sai in Anbu and he liked to remind me of that fact, it gave me an added power over him that the both of us were able to enjoy.
"You certainly know how to spoil a girl." I looked around the room, it was painted a dark purple and was illuminated by red light bulbs. It created a dark, sexy affect but was probably only used to cover up stains. There was a queen size bed with black sheets that were in a constant state of disarray and the walls were covered in posters, most of which were falling off. There was a small bedside table in which condoms, handcuffs, lubricant and other items of a similar variety could be found. I'd been in the back rooms of B.A.D so many times I could tell you which ones were more comfortable and didn't smell of cigarette smoke. This was actually a nicer one, one that Sai had taken me to before.
"You don't mind. All you want is me anyway."
"That's true. Now tell me Sai…how do you want me?"
His black eyes darkened with lust at this simple sentence; around other people Sai was quiet but during foreplay and in bed…he was very vocal. I could get him to scream in seconds with just the right touch. But, he was an artist and he liked to get familiar with his subjects first, that combined with a natural ability for dirty talking made him very eager to skip the formalities and get straight to the good stuff. "Kiera…you naughty girl…" His lips found mine and he started to kiss me, in a way that only Sai knew how. It was delicate and yet, he was so skilled with his tongue that I didn't want to resist him or take control. He didn't rush and his wet muscle caressed mine so sensually that it was hard to not moan and just let the artist pleasure me. "I'm going to fuck you Kiera, is that what you want?" His words were spoken against my lips and I could feel his breath fluttering on my skin. This is what I liked about Sai, innocence that was wrapped around a dark, sexy center that very few people knew about.
"Yes…oh gods I want it. I want you to give it to me— who the fuck's at the door?"
Sai slid his pale hands over my breasts, we moaned in tandem as he went to answer the now insistent knock at the door. I was more angry than surprised to see the bar tender Eisuke standing in the doorway, a frantic expression on his heavily pierced face. "Kiera?" He'd more than likely knocked on several doors already and wasn't up to focusing on who was in the rooms or what was happening in them; it would save time and decency to just ask.
"Yea, what is it?" I slipped my hand down and into Sai's pants, the raven haired man instantly thrust forward into my touch and I started to jerk him off. I wanted Eisuke to know exactly what he was interrupting, but the man wasn't fazed.
"Mo said 'the shiny new toy is here'. I don't know what she meant by it but she seemed positive you'd want to know. Sorry to interrupt." My heart started beating again and I quickly withdrew my hand from the artist's pants, as I apologized for having to leave so suddenly. Sai shrugged indifferently but his eyes darkened and narrowed as I sucked his pre-cum from my fingers, he got wet so easily.
"Kiera, I'm not going to forget you leaving me like this…you owe me." I nodded and licked his lips teasingly, then followed Eisuke down the hall back towards the bar. We walked past countless rooms that were mirror images of the one I just left, you could hear the occupants noise above the music and it reminded me of who and what I was about to do. Hopefully Mo could keep Kiba busy until I got out there.
"How do I look Eisu'?"
"Sexy enough to fuck you up against this wall, Inuzuka's a lucky man. I saw him talking to Mo at the bar."
"If he's already left maybe I'll take you up on that—but until then keep your hands to yourself." Eisuke brought his hand back to the pocket of his leather pants and smirked. I'd fooled around with him before but we've never actually fucked, I'd never tell him this but it was because of the piercings. He was a great looking guy covered from head to toe in piercings and tattoos, it wasn't sexy when a guy's tongue ring came undone and he started bleeding in your mouth.
"He'd be an idiot not to wait for you, you're beautiful…and you can suck some damn good cock." Ah, the therapeutic talks one can have with their bartender.
I rushed past Eisuke and there he was…Kiba Inuzuka. He was sitting next to Mo and he looked annoyed with something, I hoped to the gods it wasn't me. "Where the fuck is she Mo? I'm not gonna sit here and wait for her to get done blowing him."
"She'll be—here she is. Kiera!" Kiba turned to look at me and damn was he sexy. The sight of him alone was enough to make me hot, and the self-satisfied smirk on his face as I approached told me that he could smell my arousal, which only increased it.
"Took you long enough." He barked at me before taking a long draw from his bottle of sake. I saw his tongue slowly lick his lips and fangs and I couldn't help but stare at him. He was looking at me like a predator and I was his prey. It was so sexy I could feel myself getting even more turned on. "We both know I hate to be kept waiting."
"I'm sorry…" I wasn't, but this little awkward bullshit exchange always happened before we fucked. Although, I could tell that we wouldn't be talking for much longer. "You look great puppy." It was true, he was wearing black skinny jeans and a tight red tee-shirt with white converse high tops and a black leather choker necklace that I'd bought him when we were "together". Everything I liked about him was enhanced by what he wore; all of his sculpted muscles shown through the clothes, but my eyes were focused on the bulge in his pants. "So sexy."
"You smell delicious Kiera." He grabbed my hips and pulled me in between his legs, I fit perfectly and couldn't resist grinding against his straining zipper. "Damn, baby if you keep doing that I'll fuck you right here, right now." His tongue painted a slow line down my throat and I wasn't able to stop the wanton moan that left my mouth, or the way I tilted my head back silently begging for more.
"Kiera, I'm going to get home now, okay? See you tomorrow." Fuck! I forgot she was still there.
"Alright, thanks for the help Mo."
"Yea, thank you…now I get to take this sexy thing home. But seriously, can you make it back alright."
"Oh…you're welcome Kiba. And don't worry I've walked home countless times, what's one more."
She wandered off and we locked eyes on each other, indigo to chocolate brown. There was no one else in the bar, in the world—I was so focused on him even my breathing stopped. I lightly touched the crimson slash marks on his cheeks and he leaned into my touch like a dog wanting to be pet. The faintest growl could be heard vibrating in his chest as I continued running my hands over the body I craved so much. "Fuck baby…can we get outta here?"
"It's a long walk, you gonna make it?" I fisted one hand in his hair while the other started rubbing his arousal through the jeans. Kiba's head fell to my shoulder and his shuddering gasps and little moans made it hard to focus. "By the feel of this I don't think so."
His eyes looked dangerous as he tore the button on my pants open and pulled the zip down. I couldn't stop myself from watching as his large, strong, clawed hand maneuvered its way past my underwear and shoved two fingers into me without warning. My man had claws and he knew I liked pain, scraping them down my inner walls as I thrust against his hand like a bitch in heat. Kiba was finger-fucking me in public and I didn't care. "You're so wet I don't think you'd last either." His digits were dancing inside me and I was powerless to stop him. The music was blasting so loud we could barely understand each other talking but I swore I could hear his movements inside my tight, wet, unbearably hot passage just as clearly as I felt them. "Baby, that's it. Moan for me, fuck yea…you feel so good. Can't wait to be buried inside you."
"Kiba, don't stop." I'd somehow managed to get his pants open and started to slide my fingers over his hard flesh. Kiba was so close to bursting that it didn't take much before he was dripping pre-cum, making my pulls and twists that much easier. We were matching pace at this point and I was just about to cum so, I climbed up onto his lap and started to grind our naked sexes together. He screamed, we thrust and moved together like our lives depended on it. But, he didn't fuck me, and he wouldn't. Not here. "Fuck—you Kiba…I need…ahhnn!"
"You need me and this cock don't you baby? I know. Cum for me sexy—so I can cum on you." He forced his tongue in my mouth in an effort to quiet my moans and cries but it was pointless, I was beyond help. All I needed was him. My body seized up and I pulled his face down to my neck, I wanted him to make the scars new again. Kiba reached his climax mere seconds after mine and he bit down on the pre-existing marks as he shot his load onto our chests, thus ruining our shirts. My blood and his release started to drip down my skin at the same time, damn it felt wonderful to be with him again. "Come on baby, come on…I know…I've missed you too."
"It's been way to long puppy…let's go back to my place and get cleaned up. You've certainly made a mess of things." I swiped some of Kiba's cum onto my fingers and sucked them clean, savoring the slightly bitter taste of my lover.
"Kiera…I'm gonna fuck you so hard you'll feel it for days."
"Good boy." We stripped off our shirts and threw them in the garbage, he grabbed his leather jacket from the barstool next to him, handed it to me and I put it on. We didn't even bother to pay the tab before exiting the club. The night air was cool but Kiba didn't seem to mind being shirtless, he knew it was making me crazy looking at his body and not being able to do anything about it in the street. The further we got from the club, the more agitated he became. I didn't get it, until he sniffed the air and his head snapped towards me with killer instinct in his eyes.
"Who have you slept with?"
"What the fuck?!" His arm was wrapped around my waist possessively and I was wearing his jacket, I looked like his woman. I was his woman, and I didn't care who saw it as we walked through the seedier places in the Red Light district. But, just because I was his didn't mean he could go and ask me something like that—who the fuck did he think he was?! "Why does it matter?"
"I need to know. Kiera I can smell them on you so don't try to hide it, all I want are names."
"No."
"You're gonna tell me baby, or I'm leaving." His arm fell away and he took a step to the side. My heart was stricken with panic and I felt like one of those girls in the horror movies where they were so scared they couldn't move. I didn't want him to leave. I didn't want to be alone.
"Puppy, if I tell you you're gonna get mad—"
"I'm getting mad anyway." I couldn't help but notice that his lip was curled in a snarl as he said this, and damn it he looked good. It didn't matter what he did or how he acted, Kiba was my sexy animal. Here he was threatening me, and all I could think of was how badly I wanted him to get mad just so he'd have an excuse to be rough with me. I wanted those teeth and claws tearing into me as he fucked me, hard. If he did I could forget about the giant hole in my emotions that was always present when he wasn't there. If he claimed me for his own maybe this time he'd stay and I could stop the meaningless game of trying to make him jealous enough to leave Taki. It was a huge risk but, maybe if I told him…he'd reach that level of jealousy and hatred that would make him leave her and fuck me until I started bleeding. That, or he would close himself off completely and I'd lose him. "I'm fucking waiting Kiera. Tell. Me. Now."
I was going to risk it, it was that or go home and drug myself to sleep. "Iruka Sensei, but you already knew about him. You, of course. Sasuke, Naruto, Gaara, Shikamaru, Neji, Genma, Izumo and Kotetsu and Sai…"The words rushed out of my mouth in one breath and I watched his face transform from anger to pure rage. This was either very good or very bad.