Rei Serio stood alone, staring at the sky as he adjusted the metal bracelet on his wrist. The Alice restraint was a little uncomfortable and cut into his skin a little but he didn't mind it. This was the first time he'd been out of the Academy, a free man, outside the clutches of Kuonji. Slowly he made his way down the sidewalk, getting further away from the Academy he had grown up in.
Though a grown man, standing in front of all the skyscrapers of Tokyo all by himself, made him feel once more like the needy boy he had been when Izumi-sensei was still alive. Atone for his sins had been what he had said, but in reality, Rei had no idea where to start. Was he to help by donating his money to the poor? Or perhaps do random kind acts for free? He entered a nearby coffee shop and sat down at an empty table.
What exactly did atonement mean? How was he to achieve it?
"Are you ready to order?"
He looked up. There was a blonde woman standing over his shoulder, her hand on her hip and a pen and notebook in her left. "I'll take a black coffee." He said and then chided himself. Atonement must have included manners too. "Please."
For a moment, the waitress, who he noticed was called Hana by the badge on her black shirt, looked confused. "Would you like something else with that, sir?"
"No," He replied, quickly. "No, thank you." How peculiar, he thought as she smiled at him and walked away. Just using manners had such an effect on people that they smiled. Perhaps she did not hear many thank yous from customers. He leant back in his seat, feeling a little satisfied. He had started atoning, but he needed more than just please and thank you.
She came back and placed the cup on the table. "Please enjoy."
"Thank you," He nodded, strange, the more he said the word, the more natural it sounded on his tongue. "Hana." He said her name slowly and watched as she blushed under his gaze. Perhaps he was embarrassing her. She ran away.
He sighed, it seemed he had the same effect on people no matter where he went, in the Academy or outside it. Rei downed his coffee quickly. He was inconveniencing the waitress and noticed her eyes occasionally shifting towards him as if she wanted him to leave. Atonement was not an act of inconveniencing people. So, reluctantly, he stood up and left his mug and a five hundred yen bill, but slipped a few more under the mug as tips. He knew money couldn't buy forgiveness but it was the least he could do.
And then, he got out of his seat, feeling her gaze on his back and left.
However, the next morning he found himself back in the same spot. And the same waitress, Hana, had come up to him with a smile on her face and a pink blush on her high cheekbones. "G-good morning," She stuttered. "What can I get you?"
"A black coffee, please." He said, once more.
She nodded slowly, shifting from one foot to the other as she glanced round the coffee shop only to find the place empty as it had just opened. "Erm, thank you." She said in a low voice, "For yesterday."
He stared at her in confusion. "Yesterday?"
She blushed a deeper red. "The money."
"Don't mention it." He shrugged his shoulders. "It was a form of apology."
"Apology? For what?"
"Inconveniencing you."
Hana laughed, and he looked up surprised by the sweet, bell like sound that she made. "When did that happen?"
He shrugged and found a smile playing on his lips, another foreign thing. "I'm not quite sure of that myself."
She pulled a chair from another table and sat by him, the coffee forgotten. "I'm Hana Itachi," She stretched out her hand, with multicoloured painted nails and flecks of paint, "Sorry," She gasped, "It's a bit dirty."
She tried to retract her hand but he shook it anyways. "Rei Serio, nice to meet you."
Over the course of the next couple days, Rei found himself spending more and more time at the coffee shop, talking to Hana. She was quite the amazing, painting Henna over her hands and drawing on napkins during her break. And Rei found himself thinking about her a lot, although he never told her this – that would be troublesome for her, wouldn't it? He had not quite made up his mind about what to do about his dilemma with atoning and had tried asking Hana once, only to come up against questions he couldn't answer and a solution that he didn't understand.
They were standing round the back of the Coffee House, chatting about how boring the name was, he eating a chocolate bar and she drawing on the back of her hand with a biro when he'd sprung the question.
She stopped and stared at him for a moment, the swallow on her wrist only half-drawn. "What?"
Rei rolled his eyes, a habite had picked up from her, how like her to be so absorbed in drawing that she couldn't hear him. "I said, how can I atone?"
"Atone?"
"Atone... make up for my wrongdoings, correct my sins, restart everything from when things were simple."
Hana snorted and did her infamous eye roll. "Never knew you were so deep, Rei."
He said nothing but sat down on the step next to her, his back to the backdoor. He leant over, his fingers woven together as his elbows sat on his knees.
"What are you atoning for?" She asked softly, after a silence.
He looked up at her, seeing the concern in her eyes. How curious, he had only known her for a few days and yet, she seemed to care for him. Perhaps he was flattering himself. The 'care' in her eyes looked different to the care in Mikan's eyes. He wasn't quite sure how to answer her question. She had told him everything, her poor family in Hokkaidou, the shed that she had at home for all her hard-earned pencils and sketch pads, the fact that the owner of the cafe paid her very little. She had also spoken to him about more personal things two, watching her brother drown before her eyes, the abuse she had suffered under the rule of her ex-boyfriend. And yet, he had not spoken a word of his own past. He wondered why she trusted him so easily. She gave so much and he could only offer so little.
When he spoke, his voice was quiet and hushed. The street too was silent as if eavesdropping on their conversation. "I'm not a good person, you wouldn't want to know." For once in his life, Rei felt a feeling of fear akin to that of the time when he ended his sensei's life. His fear at the moment was that Hana would be afraid of him. Mentally he chided himself again. He had spilled his darkness onto her and like a flower in his own hand, she would wilt and be consumed by darkness.
"I don't mind."
His head shot up and stared at her.
"I don't think you're a bad person."
He shook his head in disbelief. "Aren't you afraid of me?"
And again, she laughed and in spite of the tense atmosphere, a smile cracked onto his face. "You?" She repeated, "Afraid of you? Whatever sins you've committed, you're repenting now right. That makes you a good person in my books. Even if you've killed people or robbed a bank, I don't care."
Rei chuckled, bitterly, "You should." She had no idea how close she was to the truth.
"You could tell me, you know, I wouldn't leave you." It was such a strange notion, everything about Hana was strange. How could she say that? How could she do that so openly?
He shook his head, "I can't, you would leave me, alone, like the rest of them." Even as he spoke those words he found them to be partially untrue. Though physically alone, he still had Izumi, Yuka, Mikan and even Nobara, after what he'd done, beside him.
"I wouldn't." She protested defiantly, her chin tipped up at him. But he stayed silent. As if sensing that was as far as she would get, she changed the subject. "If I was to atone for some great and evil sin," she said the words light heartedly as if waving the oppressive mood away, "I would go and say sorry."
"That's not enough."
"Wow," She sighed, chewing on the end of her pen, "This is some great crime. Er... I guess, I would just..." She trailed off and Rei watched her go back to drawing the bird on her wrist. Fluid flicks of her wrist made the pen run in a curved line as she drew the swallows black wings, outstretched and taking off, as if her creamy skin were its sky. "I would just become a better person, do good deeds, help the weak and vulnerable, protect them. My brother use to say, if there was ever something you regret, go back, retrace your steps and say what you wanted to say, do what you wanted to do. Before it's too late."
And following her words, he had come to a decision. It had been almost a full week since he had dismissed himself from the Academy, without so much as a goodbye to Nobara or a word to Mikan. He hadn't felt he was worth the time, choosing only to say a few words to Yuka-nee and Izumi-sensei before leaving.
Once more, he went to the coffee shop but instead of his usual place went to the counter. A fat woman waddled up to him, her name badge read Atsuko and which he knew only by name and the complaints he'd heard from Hana to be the owner here.
"What can I get you?" She asked, gruffly.
He peered over her large shoulder, "Is Hana in?"
"Hana? You don't have eyes for that little thing do you?" She sneered.
He glared at her and in return she flinched. He felt a smirk coming on but forced it down. "Is Hana in?"
"She's on her break." The woman replied reluctantly.
He took out his wallet and handed her a ten thousand yen bill, "Look, that should be enough money to cover her pay and still be more than double of what you earn in a day. She's my friend." It was a word he had never really spoken before when it applied to himself and yet it felt natural to say. "Please give her the day off."
The lady looked at him for a moment, curious before hollering, "Hana! Get out here now!"
A few moments later, she came in from the back door grumbling. "Geez, you old hag. No need to shout. I was just co- Rei?" Her face broke into a beam, "I thought you weren't going to come today!"
"I need to..."
"Enough!" Atsuko yelled, waving her jelly like arms around. "I don't want any of your lovey dovey nonsense here." Rei felt the blood rush to his cheeks. "Both of you get out!"
"Wow," Hana rolled her green eyes, "Crabby much." She strolled out the door, clutching his wrist.
"Were you that pleased to see me?"
"Don't get full of yourself, mister."
He lead her to a small playpark that was close to the desecrated block of flats he had been sleeping in for the past six days. There wasn't much that defined it as a playpark apart from the rusty old slide and broken see saw. On the perimeter, there was also a crudely made wooden bench by a bed of wild roses. He took a seat there. How strange, wild roses in Tokyo.
She stared at the bench with trepidation, "Are you sure it won't break?"
He laughed, "It's safe." She sat down on the plank of wood cautiously, glancing down at the silver upturned buckets that made the legs of it.
"So," She said, reached her hands out in front of her. "Why are we here?"
Rei stayed quiet. In truth, he too wondered why he had brought her here. There was no need to tell her anything, she was merely a waitress and he a customer. And yet as he had passed the Coffee House that morning he had felt what seemed like an invisible force pulling him towards her. At first he'd thought it was a strange gravitational Alice or perhaps some sort of Mind Manipulating Alice but he had soon realised it was none of the sort. "I thought about what you said." She quirked an eyebrow at him. "About atoning for what I've done."
She nodded.
"I'm not really the sort of person you should be hanging around. Your family are good honest people who spent so much money to bring you here. You really shouldn't be hanging out with a creep like me."
"It's not like you can tell me what to do and what not to do."
"Do you like flowers?" He pointed at the roses, tangled behind them.
She rolled her eyes, a smile on her lips, "You know I do, jerk, stop changing the subject."
Ignoring her, he said, "Give me your wrist." She stared at him but slowly put her left wrist between them.
"What are you..."
He pulled the drywipe marker from his pocket and drew a kindergarten level looking flower. "Crap, it was not suppose to look like that."
Hana burst out laughing. "What the hell is this, a nuclear sign? Am I dangerous? What'd with you being so random?"
"I'm leaving Tokyo." His words caught her off guard and her laughter died, strangled in the back of her throat.
"W-what?"
"This is so you stop giving yourself ink poisoning." He placed the purple drywipe pen in her hand. He had remembered her favourite colour.
"Wait, what's going on?" She spoke clearer, a panicked look in her eyes.
"You said that I should do what I want to do, before it's too late. I liked spending time with you but I need to leave, to protect her."
Hana was quiet, but when she spoke again, her voice was back to the quietness she had when he first met her. "You love her."
Rei's head flew up, "What? Mikan? The girl's only twelve."
"Then, I don't understand. Don't you like it here in Tokyo?"
"I do, but..."
"I'd finally made a friend!" She grew teary and Rei felt torn. Torn between his duty to atone for all the evil and darkness he had committed and between the strange stirring he felt when he was with Hana. Torn between the hard way and the easy way.
"I'm sorry." He said, his voice thick with an emotion he nor Hana could name.
There was a silence between the two friends as they sat with tears in their eyes, unable to look at each other for fear they would cry out.
"Close your eyes." He spoke, so softly that Hana had only just heard them before the wind clipped them away. She could feel the tears running down her cheeks as her eyelids fluttered shut, her hands clenched the pen tightly in her fists. "Count to twenty, don't open them until you reach twenty."
"One..." He stared at her and wondered how they had reached this point, growing to friends and then... what was this? Before he could stop himself, he had flicked out his penknife and cut off a rose.
"Two." He worked quickly, sliding the blade down the stem so that no thorns could hurt her artistic hands.
"Three." Rei felt his own hot tears slide down his cheeks and wondered if he had become weak. Wondered if this sign of emotion was making him stronger or more vulnerable.
"Four." He wanted to stand up and leave her there, counting alone but his feet wouldn't move.
"Five." Did he really have to go.
"Six... seven... eight..." He realised with a jolt that she was counting faster.
"Nine... ten...eleven..." If he didn't leave now then he knew he wouldn't be able to.
"Twelve... thirteen... fourteen..." Rei slid the flower into her hair, the red a stark contrast against her blonde curls.
"Sixteen...seventeen...eighteen..." Her eyes were flickering here and there under her eyelids and with them closed she looked so...he leant forwards, mildly aware of his own actions. His lips met the side of her cheek and she let out a gasp.
Hana blushed. "Nineteen." He had kissed her! Butterflies flew around and around in her stomach and at that moment, she knew that Rei felt the same.
"Twenty." Her eyes slowly opened, adjusting to the light, a smile on her face. But when she looked around, there was no one.
She was alone, by herself, with a scarlet rose in her hair.
And he was gone.
