The Day After Forever
Chapter One: Letter I
A/N: This is important, please read it!!
As promised, new multi-chap Style fic.
But, please know that if you have read any of my past fics, this will be very different. There's love quadrangles, angst, and a boatload of drama. And hardly any fluff (shocking, right?) but don't let that discourage you! There will be moments I'm sure =)
Most of this fic is told in letter format, and the letters are all authored by Stan to Wendy. There will, however, be little interludes so that you can see what's going on with everyone else throughout the story, scattered every few chapters or so.
If you're asking yourself a lot of questions about what the hell's going on, that's good. That's generally my goal. A lot of things will be revealed in the second chapter though, although not everything of course. =)
General plotline: An incident has happened in the school cafeteria, causing Stan to disappear without a trace. He's secluded himself up in the mountains to write letters to Wendy. Meanwhile, down in South Park Wendy and Kyle are both determined to find Stan, but in their efforts they may find themselves forced to work with their worst enemies - each other.
Pairings: Mainly Style and Stendy, a more minor focus on Candy, and brief references to KylexBebe.
Warnings: Swearing, a ton of drama, overly fickle characters, possible character death.
If you're one of my regular readers, you're probably used to me leaving Author's Notes like this on every chapter. I will not be doing that this time around - I really want the story to speak for itself, uninterrupted by my little asides. I'll most likely do one on the last chapter, and one of the middle chapters, but other than that, I'll be quiet. Although, if you review, of course I'll still reply. =)
Please enjoy The Day After Forever, and reviews would be absolutely wonderful, please and thank you.
As an unrelated note, please check the poll on my profile and vote =)
Dear Wendy,
I don't know exactly where to start. I'm sorry for just running out like that, but you have to understand. I couldn't stay in the cafeteria, with everyone talking like that, and staring. I just know how quickly this is all going to spread around town. I don't think I'm quite ready to face anyone yet.
I hope you're not looking for me. Even if you are, I doubt you'll find me. Even I hardly know where I am. I stopped home after ditching school, grabbed some of my dad's camping gear and stuffed my backpack full of food. I think I should be good to last up here a couple days at least. I can make a fire if I need to, and I've got all the survival training they taught us back in Scouts.
I'll come back eventually. I'm just not quite ready yet. I needed somewhere quiet, somewhere I could think things over.
It's really pretty up here in the mountains. There's snow over everything, pure and white and completely untouched. I felt almost bad walking across it. I can see most of the sky, which right now is just a big grey cloud. There's that tang in the air, the way it smells before it's going to snow.
Maybe someday I'll bring you up here. I think you'd like it a lot.
By this point I'm sure you're wondering why the hell I'm writing to you. Does this mean I've picked you? Good question. Still trying to figure that one out myself.
You don't even know, though. About that whole freakin' ultimatum Kyle gave me.
I don't even want to think about that right now. It's part of what started all this.
So why you, not him? I don't know. It seemed like a good idea at the time. I feel like we hardly ever actually talk – it's all arguing. I'm sick of all the fighting that we do. Who knows if I'll ever even give these letters to you – but it feels kind of good finally just telling you what's on my mind for once.
Before I say anything else, I just need to tell you one thing.
I'm sorry.
I am so, so sorry for everything that happened. I know that it's mostly my fault and I wish I could take it back. I never wanted to hurt you, or get Kyle or anyone else involved in all of this, and I'm truly, deeply sorry.
That being said, let's move on.
I wish we could've worked things out. I tried so hard. I know you were trying, too. I don't know how we let all these other people get in the way, or when our relationship started going to shit, but it sucks. It sucks majorly.
I don't know how Cartman found out about all this, but it's no surprise he couldn't keep his fatass mouth shut. I hate saying it, because I know she's your best friend and all, but I kind of suspect Bebe's involvement. I don't know whether or not Kyle told her about all of this, but if he did, it would make sense.
There's no way in hell Kyle would ever tell that fat bastard anything, especially of this nature, so I think it's pretty safe to rule him out.
The only other one who knew was you. Please, please don't tell me you told him. We're already hanging on a very thin thread here, and I know for a fact that that would snap it.
If this had been just a few weeks ago I would've already ruled you out as well, but what with recent events and all, I just don't know about you anymore.
Relationships are supposed to be based on trust, Wends. If I can't even trust you not to go telling people a secret that could ruin our relationship, and potentially my life, I don't know how well this is going to work out.
Although after the thing with Kyle and all, I think you're allowed your amount of untrust (is that even a word?) with me, too.
Oh god. My parents are going to find out about this soon enough – you know how fast gossip travels in our town – I wouldn't be surprised if they already knew. Even if I wanted to come back at that point, I doubt they'll let me. I feel like my mom might be okay with it all, but my dad… My dad. He's a completely different story.
It's starting to get dark, and I can no longer feel my toes. I might have to put on another pair of socks. Goddamn it's cold, though. Tonight's probably going to be rough, but I took my dad's heavy duty camping sleeping bag, and my winter parka, and a few extra blankets. I'll build a fire and it should be okay. Worst case scenario I'll just use Sparky for body heat.
Yeah, I brought Sparky with me. He wouldn't let me out of the house without him. I think he could tell I was upset about something – one of those weird animal instinct things. He's loving it up here, though – all this open space to run around in. He's getting older, but I think he'll always be a puppy at heart.
I don't know what I'm going to do when he dies. I try not to think about that.
Anyways, I'm getting really off-topic here.
It's so peaceful up here, though. It really lets me think.
It feels like time has stopped, and I can shut my eyes and pretend like today never happened.
Pretend like I never have to leave this mountain.
Would you be upset if I never came back? If I just stayed up here forever and found myself a nice cave and turned into a hermit?
Would you care?
Would Kyle care?
Would anyone care?
Would I care?
I think I would get too lonely. I need interaction with other people. Even now, that's one of the reasons I'm writing to you like this – I can almost pretend I'm talking to you.
God, I miss your voice. Your hair, your eyes, your smile, your laugh, I miss it. I miss you.
You've been so distant lately, like I hardly exist. What happened to the beautiful, charming, happy Wendy? The girl I fell in love with?
Maybe we just need to face the facts. We've both changed.
People fall in love.
People fall out of love.
I don't want to give up on you yet, but we're getting dangerously closer to that point.
Maybe all this stuff happened for a reason. Maybe the universe is trying to tell us something. It sure as hell doesn't seem to want to keep us together.
Oh god, am I breaking up with you? I take it back. I don't want to break up. I just think that if we're going to make this work, we're both going to have to try a hell of a lot harder.
The sunlight's fading fast, I probably have to stop writing as it's getting difficult to see my words on the page. Besides, I should get to gathering firewood unless I want to freeze to death tonight.
I love you. Whatever happens, I love you so, so much, and don't you dare forget that.
I'll probably write some more in a little while, but now I have to stop.
Trust me when I say this is not your fault.