AN: It's, like, my first Beavis and Butt-Head fic ever. And it's like slash or whatever. Cool. Well, honestly, I think this turned out pretty shitty, but that's what happens when you try to combine Yaoi-Con and buttknockers. You'd think those two things would merge easily but . . . well, didn't go quite like I planned. No plot, but not actual porn, so . . . um . . . it's just a waste.

It turns out if you're two dudes hanging outside the front doors of Yaoi-Con, you might risk looking a little gay or something.

Of course, at first Butt-Head just assumed it was his natural animal magnetism that was drawing the sudden attention of the various females entering Highland's newly built convention center. All those "come to Butt-Head"s were finally paying off, it seemed.

Of course, they didn't stay. Giggled and stared for a moment or two, disappointed by the severe lack of action, then simply entering the building.

"Uh . . . this sucks," His already squinting eyes narrowed further.

"Yeah! It's like all these chicks but we're not scoring!"

"Shut up, Beavis! Huh huh, hey baby," Working that charm for all it was worth.

And . . . it seemed to actually be working.

Cool!

The blonde female smiled, surveying the two slowly. "Like, wow! I didn't know guys came to these things. Or are you two the entertainment or something?"

"Huh huh, she said 'came'. Huh huh, like, we can be your entertainment, baby," He laughed a bit more.

"So who are you and your boyfriend supposed to be?"

"Huh huh, boyfrie-"

Wait.

Boyfriend?

His laugh died slowly. "Uh . . . I'm not gay. Huh huh . . ."

"Oh. Pity," She lost interest immediately, entering the convention center in hopes of some true butt-loving.

"Hey! You scared her away!" The blonde shook in nervous rage, more jittery than usual. All worked up at the hopes of scoring, only to be let down once more.

"Shut up, buttwipe! She thought we were, like, gay."

"What? No way! Heh heh."

"Yeah. Huh huh, I mean, like, I know you like to look at other guys' schlongs . . ."

"What? No way!"

"Uh . . . settle down, Beavis, you butt knocker."

"Don't call me a butt knocker, you bu-"

"Hey boys, you coming inside?" So speaks the voluptuous redhead in the kitty cat outfit.

"Whoa! Uh . . . hey baby, huh huh."

"Well?" She held the door open, pursing her lips suggestively.

"Huh huh, she wants me to come inside," Butt-Head grabbed the door, motioning forward gallantly. "Uh . . . after you, baby, huh huh."

"Heh heh, thanks, don't mind if I do . . ." Beavis stepped forward, prompting Butt-Head to reach out and throw him back.

"Not you, buttwipe!"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Her name was Katrina.

She was a twenty three year old yaoi fangirl with an affinity for "best friends becoming butt buddies" scenarios.

Her cup size was 34D.

And she wanted a threesome.

"Uh . . . heh heh, what IS a threesome?"

"It's where we both get to score," Butt-Head explained simply. Before finally realizing what was being offered here.

He was going to score.

With a random stranger or something. This was almost too good to be true. Almost like a bad plot twist.

This was cool.

"You boys meet me in my hotel room tonight at six," She gave her address, smiling coyly. "I'll be waiting." Then, just to add that much more incentive, "Naked."

"Whoa!" They watched her walk away. "She must, like, really want it. Huh huh."

"Yeah! It's like these fangirls or whatever are really easy."

"Huh huh, shut up, fartknocker!"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

They sat on the cheap hotel bed, giggling and breathing heavily.

"Huh huh, hey Beavis, check it out. I have a stiffy. Huh huh."

"Heh, really? Me too. Doi-oi-oi-oi-oing!!!!!"

"We're gonna score."

"Listen," Whatsherface walked out of the bathroom, standing in a towel. "I have a lot of preparing to do. But why don't you two get warmed up?"

"Uh . . .huh huh . . ."

"You know. On each other."

"Uh . . . what?"

She narrowed her eyes. "Wait, you two ARE gay, right?"

"Uh . . . no. Huh huh."

"Damn. Maybe you two should just go," She looked away, anger clear on her face.

"Uh . . . why? Don't you want to, like, do it? Huh huh . . ."

"If you two were gay, or even bi, then yes. But if you're straight . . . well, not interested."

"I can be whatever you want me to be, baby, huh huh."

"Prove it," She tapped her foot, glaring at the brunette in anticipation.

"Uh . . . what?"

"Kiss him." Her voice was icy, demanding, almost scary.

And cool.

Too cool to refuse.

"Uh . . . okay. Come here, buttwipe!"

"Heh heh, what are you doing, Butt-Head? Hey! MppH!!!" His beady eyes widened as his friend's lips crashed into his.

It was far from a romantic kiss. Wet and nacho flavored and needing. Beavis didn't bother fighting it, letting his friend do as he wished. That always made things easier anyway. Butt-Head WAS the brains in the group, after all.

Besides, they were gonna score. And scoring made everything tolerable.

"Not bad," The voice of the girl broke through their make out session. They turned around, noting dimly that she was adjusting a video camera on a tripod. "I'm gonna finish getting ready. You two just . . . you know . . . get warmed up."

"Uh . . . okay." Butt-Head turned to his friend. "You heard her, Beavis. Uh . . . like, touch my nads or something, huh huh."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Heh heh, we're gonna score," Beavis reclined in the pillows, sweat dripping down his face and bare chest. "Hey, Butt-Head, didn't you hear me? I said we're gonna . . . ow . . . heh heh," He winced, adjusting slightly. Damn, his ass hurt. "I said we're gonna sco-"

"Shut up, dumbass! I heard you the first time. Huh huh," Butt-Head wished he had a cigarette to puff on. That's what they always did on those late night movies. "Besides, we already DID score, asswipe."

"Heh heh, oh yeah."

Silence for a moment.

"Hey Butt-Head, do you think that chick'll come back soon? Because I'm, like, getting another boner."

"Huh huh, are we gonna have to score for the third time?"

Well, she HAD said to warm up, after all.