This is an Awkward Carrot One-Shot, Please keep your sanity and leave! Ok read it then leave, and go straight to St. Mungo's. Sevvie DOES NOT DIE! Eight Year style.
Still here? Be prepared... I warned you...
It was obviously dark and gloomy like a potions lab in the Hogwarts Potions Lab. Harry was sitting in the front row waiting for his boyfriend to swoop in, it was their seventh anniversary. After this lesson they were going to spend quality time together. To pass the time, he quietly sung 'Can't Be Tamed' by Miley Cyrus in Parseltongue to himself. However, this had terrible reactions from all around the 7/8 NEWTS class.
Draco Malfoy was a person who finished what he had started, and he had a problem. No. Make that two problems. One was in the front of his robes and the second was Harry Potter singing in Parseltongue. Parseltongue. Bloody Parseltongue. Unable to take it anymore, he turned to the nearest person, who just happened to be his Potions partner Ronald Weasley, grabbed the front of his robes and crushed their lips together. Weasley. The one with the Mudblood girlfriend. Shit. He turned his head slightly. Don't need to worry about her. She's too busy with Pansy Parkinson.
Hermione Granger was paired with Pansy for NEWT Potions. She was reading her Potions course book for the fifth time that day, worried that Snape would take all Gryffindor's points away. Suddenly, an seductive hissing filled the lab. All her thoughts washed away, she was getting so turned on deciding to go hard and fast. She pulled Pansy's shoulder-length black hair toward her and started snogging her like it was going out of fashion. Though her haze she noticed she was sitting Pansy's lap. Goodbye world.
Neville Longbottom was staring at his crush, Blaise Zabini and hissing. Those are the only things he can remember.
Dean and Seamus were already snogging in the back, thinking about taking it further. The hissing decided that for them.
Colin Creevey was staring again. He was staring at the girls next to him, Ginerva Weasley and Luna Lovegood. He was also pondering which one to ask out. The hissing effected him too. Next thing he knew, he was sweaty and had a tired red headed girl and a blond haired girl next to him on the cold stony dungeon floor.
Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle were at on the table. No details for them, that's disgusting. But, lets just say they looked like they do when they eat.
A de-aged, Tom Riddle lookalike listening to what Harry was singing. He was sitting next to Hannah Abbot and Susan Bones. A quick glance at each was enough. One on his naked lap and licking the other was enough for our very own de-aged ex-Dork Lard Voldemort (Buy a plushie today). Time to be young and have some fun in a Potion's Lab, the last place to be marked by the sex-god Tom Riddle.
Sirius Black and Remus Lupin were de-aged and the de-ageing potion lasts for two minutes, but that would be hot, getting suddenly filled up due to the potion wearing out. Sirius first.
Everyone had shed their robes and underclothes and moaning like hell with Harry in the front, oblivious to it all, was still singing in the front row when suddenly the door banged open. Everyone was to busy with their own physical activities to be bothered. Severus stalked to the front of the classroom. Harry was sitting there, still singing. He looked up. Severus captured his pink lips in his own, dragging a moan from Harry. Everyone was now going 'hard and fast' to quote Hermione.
Dumbledore looked around the corner. He giggled. 'This is a patronus memory and a half!' And he left to put the memory in his pensieve to show the other teachers.