THE DIARY

GACKT POV

Author : Camui Yoi

Pairing : Gackt x Hyde

Rating : PG

Genre : Angst... I think *chukle*

Disclaimer : I don't own both of them. They own themself. :D

Note : Actually this is my first GakuHai fic in English. I'm sorry if I have grammar mistakes.. Hope you like this fic. *bowing*

There's a dark cloud around the graveyard, adding the sadness in every person who still standing, staring at the tombstone with a name "Hideto Takarai". Sobs from his family and friends escort him into his eternal sleep.

Cry... I see in every eye in front of me already swollen because of cry. Everyone crying for your death, Hyde. Why can't I? Why I can't shed a tears like everyone? I also feel losing you. It hurt me when I saw your body in a coffin, my mind completely lost, but you still in your sleep. I feel like jumping into your grave, to accompany you.

"Gackt?" I look at someone who called me. A man with black suit coming closer. "Tetsu?"

"Here." He gave me a book. I look at that book with a curiosity. "What's this?"

"Before he died, DoiHa gave me that book to passed it to you."

I take the book in my hand. "Thanks, Tetsu. My condolence for Hyde.."

He smile and nod. Then I walk away from the graveyard.

01:00 am now and I don't know why I can't sleep. There's something bothering me.

Hyde... only his name in my mind right now. Why did you left your family, left your friends.. Why did you left me behind. I feel so bad.. I'm sorry I can't tell you about my feeling. Now I regret what I've done. Why can't I tell you? Hyde... I am lifeless now. I can't see your smile anymore. I can't hear your grumbling, your laughter. I can't feel the touch of your skin..

I look at my bedside table. There is a book which is gave by Tetsu this afternoon. I take the book and open it. This is Hyde's diary. I start to reading..

Date and time

Hey! Today I went to Gackt's house. Hehe.. I'm happy. His house is sooo dark. He didn't like the light. His eyes is so sensitive. We talked about so much stuffs. And he drove me home. So happy.

What?! Already 1 a'clock?! I have to sleep now or Tetsu will give me a great scream tomorrow.

My lips can't stop smiling. Imagining Hyde with his pouty lips talking about Tetsu's wrath. Sigh... I continue to read it.

Date and time

So tired.. Today's schedule is torturing me. Interview this, interview that. Meeting with so many people. But I'm happy when Gacchan ask me to go lunch with him (Yes. Starting today I called him "Gacchan". He's so cute when I called him that.) He's a romantic person! Wow... Why does my heart beating so fast right now?

Date and time

I feel so sick now. Is it because of the weather? What's wrong with me? My head feel so much pain. Gacchan was here some hours ago. He said he was afraid about my condition. Hehe.. I don't know why, but I feel so happy everytime I see Gacchan.

Date and Time

Gacchan.. where are you? Want to see Gacchan so much..

I smile while reading the book. Hyde..

Date and Time

I fainted again today. This is the 3rdtime in a week. What's wrong with my body? I often feel my head throbbing from pain. I went to hospital with Tetchan today. After a couple of check up and scanning, finally doctor gave me my result of medical check up. I felt the thunder struck my head. Positively I suffer from that Chronic Neural Disease. I told Tetchan to keep it from Gacchan. I don't want he worry about me. I don't want to make him sad.. I don't want he leave me.. Gacchan.. I'm sorry I can't tell you...

I feel my heart and body throbbing. Hyde... why didn't you tell me? I definitely will not leave your side! Why...? God...

Date and Time

Gacchan... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry...

Date and Time

I can't take it anymore. It hurt so much.. My head. My body. My heart.. Gacchan... Gacchan..I'm so scared... Scared of death.. I will be lonely up there...

Date and Time

No... no... I can't give up. I have to be strong. I don't want to see his worried face again like today. I'm okay, Gacchan.

My body trembling so hard. It's like something want to come out. Hardly, I tried to continue to read.

Date and time

When an emptiness coming to greet me..

There is only one name that crossing my mind..

Without any purpose to come..

But suddenly I realize..

When I lost my direction, he gave me a way..

When I trapped into darkness, he gave me a light

When I can't breath, he gave me a freshness

When I almost break into pieces, he gave me a soul

What happen with me?

His smile always look so beautiful

His existence always soothing my mind

Everything..

Until slowly and full of confident..

I finally can say that... I am falling in love with..

Gacchan.

Thank you for filling my life with love

Thank you for coloring my life with happiness

Thank you for your existence..

Thank you to be a part of my life..

Aishiteru Gacchan... Itsumo, aishitteru..

I feel something warm running down from my cheeks. Hyde.. I love you too. Forever.. and always love you..

- END -