FOLIE DE DEUX: MISSING SCENES
"Thank you for coming down, Detective," M.E. Rodgers said. "I'd like to clear this one as soon as possible." She looked past Detective Robert Goren to make sure Alex Eames wasn't behind him. Rodgers had already been surprised when Goren answered her phone call and when Eames hadn't led him into the morgue.
"Detective Eames had already left for the day," Goren said, reading the medical examiner's mind. "And…It was a tough case…" He hesitated, uncertain about how much Rodgers knew about Alex's life and how much he should reveal.
"I understand," Rodgers said. "Cases like this are tough for everyone…Even me." She handed Bobby the results of the autopsy.
He was about to leave when a tech wheeled the cart with the terribly tiny bag of remains into the room. Rodgers saw Goren's jaw muscles tighten.
"I don't think anyone involved with this case is going to sleep well tonight," she commented.
Bobby stared after the cart. "I wonder if I'll even try," he said. He stood silently for a moment before he turned to face Rodgers. "Thank you…For letting me back in here…For not making a complaint against me…"
"We've already talked about that, Detective," Rodgers said. She felt uncomfortable addressing the subject, partly because she felt she'd betrayed Goren's confidence by revealing the DNA test results to Danny Ross; partly because the incident had strained her relationship with Ross.
"I put you in a terrible position," Goren said, and Rodgers again felt that the detective was reading her mind. "I understand why you did what you did. What I did…My reaction…Was totally wrong…To invade your workplace…A crime lab…It was unprofessional…Wrong…Obviously I wasn't thinking clearly."
"It's fine, Detective," Rodgers insisted. "But you've to to stop apologizing every time you come in here."
"I…I'll try…But I still feel like you're letting me off easy…"
He shuffled out of the morgue, his shoulders bending under some unseen weight. The weight increased and Bobby slumped more and more as the elevator rose to the eleventh floor. The elevator opened, and Bobby found himself facing Captain Danny Ross, wearing his coat and carrying his briefcase.
"Detective," he said in what was an amiable tone for him. "Rodgers called about the autopsy on the baby…God…What a mess…"
"Yea," Bobby said softly.
"Eames already left…"
"Yes Sir." Bobby slipped out of the elevator. "There didn't seem to be any reason for both of us to deal with this."
"You should go home too, Detective," Ross said kindly. "You've done all you can for now. This case may wind up belonging to the Connecticut officials."
"Yea…and frankly, Sir, they can have it."
Ross nodded. "I can understand that, Detective. The father will face charges of fraud here…Too bad we can't charge him with bad poetry."
Bobby smiled wanly.
"Like I said…Go home…Try to get some rest."
"Yes, Sir."
Bobby stumbled wearily to his desk. He sat heavily and stared at his desk. "Go home," he thought. "You're so tired you can't think straight." He turned off his computer, gathered his belongings, and left the office. His cell phone beeped as he reached the elevator. He groaned, checked the number, saw that it was Alex's, and quickly answered it.
"Bobby, I'm sorry." Her voice sounded strained and tired.
"It's ok," he said, trying to hide his own exhaustion.
"How…How bad was it?"
"It…It wasn't good. But we may not have to deal with it. The Connecticut authorities may take the over the baby's death."
"I…I'm sorry I left you…I…I just…"
"It's ok," Bobby again assured her. "I told you to go home."
"You…At least let me give you some dinner tonight…"
"You don't have to…"
"I know that, Bobby. But I want to. And it'll make me feel better."
Bobby hesitated.
"I…I could really use the company, Bobby."
"I'll be there as soon as I can. Do you need anything?"
"No." Much of the strain left her voice. "Just you."
A lump formed in Bobby's throat. "Like I said…I'll be there as soon as I can."
He was glad he'd driven to work that day. Bobby liked the subway and the bus. He could read—although he'd learned not to study autopsy reports and crime scene photos on public transportation—and study his fellow passengers. But tonight he needed to reach Alex quickly. He drove carefully through the late evening traffic, but he frequently went over the speed limit. He resolved that if he was pulled over, it would be one time where he'd use his badge to escape a ticket. He managed to arrive at Alex's home without attracting any traffic cop's attention. As he parked his car, Bobby noted that only a few lights shone in the windows. Alex opened and appeared in the front door.
"Thank you," she said as he walked up the steps. "Thank you for coming…And for dealing with…"
"It's ok." Bobby shuffled awkwardly past her and stood uncertainly in the middle of the living room. He saw a pile of photo albums and scrapbooks on the table in front of the couch.
"The pizza will be here soon," Alex said.
"I thought you were going to give me a real meal…"
"Is there a better balanced food than pizza?" Alex asked. "All the major food groups in one source."
Bobby smiled. He tried to think of something to say to Alex.
"Can I get you something to drink?" Alex asked.
"Uh…Iced tea?" The last thing Bobby thought he needed was alcohol—wanted, perhaps, but certainly didn't need.
"It's very sweet," Alex said as she walked to the kitchen. "You know I like it so sweet it's almost syrup."
"That's fine…"
Bobby looked at the books on the table. He realized that Alex had been looking at photos of her nephew. He saw Nate smiling up at him from several pictures, and Bobby recognized several from a recent trip he took to the zoo with Alex and Nate. One showed the little boy gazing up in affection and adoration as Bobby enthusiastically pointed out some characteristic of an animal. Bobby's heart rose in his throat as he realized how much Nate cared for him.
"I…I needed to look at those," Alex said behind Bobby. She handed him the iced tea.
"I can understand that." Bobby's free hand hovered over the pictures. "I…I kept looking at pictures of my niece last night." He stared at the photos, and the words rushed out of him. "How…How do you do it, Eames? How do you deal with cases like this? I…I kept thinking of her…"
A knock at the door interrupted him.
"Pizza," Alex said shakily.
They ate very little of the pizza. Alex nibbled at her slice while Bobby picked pepperonis off his.
"I'm sorry," Bobby said. "I'm afraid I'm not very hungry."
"Looks like pizza for breakfast," Alex said.
Bobby followed her into the kitchen and watched as she packed up the pizza.
"I'm sorry about earlier…" he said. "I didn't mean to…"
"I'm sorry to." Alex stood in front of the kitchen sink. "I left you to deal with…But I couldn't go down there and see…I couldn't." She began to shake.
Bobby started to walk towards her, but Alex scuttled around him and into the living room. He followed her and stopped a few steps from her. "It…It wasn't that bad…"
Alex spun and fell into his arms. "How could they? That beautiful little girl! How could they? For him to throw that away? And her…to just leave her in that car? How could they?"
Bobby struggled not to let his head rest on Alex's, or to hold her too tightly. "I…She was…Is…Ill…But him…He used her…He had this beautiful child…And he knew his wife was ill…He had a family…And he gave it up for quickies with women…He had everything…And he just let it go…"
Alex looked up at him, and Bobby looked down at her. Neither could bear the pain they saw in the other's eyes.
"I didn't realize," Alex said softly. "That this case hurt you as much as it did me."
Bobby swallowed. "It…It hurts…But I…It must be worse for you…" His arms fell by his sides. He tried to pull away from Alex, but she gently but firmly held on to him.
"We…You…Never talked about it," she said. "About kids…family…"
Bobby desperately tried to think of some escape.
"I mean," Alex continued cautiously. "We talk about me…About how much I love kids…About Nate…Even about how I hoped to have kids with Joe…How I still hope…But you…"
To his great relief, she released him and took a step back. She studied him, and Bobby stared at his shoes.
"But you…We never talk about how you feel…You obviously love kids…You're great with them. Nate adores you. All of my nieces and nephews adore you."
Bobby rubbed the back of his neck.
"Cases like this…You try to protect me," Alex said. "But you never seem to try to protect yourself…"
"I…It's not that you need protecting," Bobby said feebly. "But…You shouldn't…I don't want you…"
Alex stepped forward and pressed her palm against his chest. Its warmth spread through his body.
"You protect me whether I need it or not," she stated. "And…The truth is…Sometimes I'm very grateful for it. But you…Who protects you?"
Bobby stared at her hand resting on his chest. "I…I guess…You…You do…"
"But you won't let me protect you from things like this." Alex's voice was calm and betrayed none of her fear that she trod on forbidden ground. "You don't talk about kids…About whether you ever wanted them…Or how you feel about cases like this one where we deal with them."
She was as close to him as she could get. Bobby tried to step back, but the couch hit his calves. "Eames…Please…I…I should go…" Alex effectively blocked his way forward, and the prospect of trying to scramble over the couch wasn't appealing.
"I don't want you to go." He felt her soft breath on his face. "I can talk about this with you, Bobby. I can't talk about it with my family. My Dad and brothers…As great as they are…They don't get it…My Mom…She'd tell me to leave the job…My sisters…They feel guilty because they have the husbands and the kids and the houses and the garages…But I can always talk to you about it. But you…"
Bobby tried to look at anything except her eyes.
"You never talk about kids…About the possibility of them…"
"I…I don't have the right," Bobby mumbled. "I…What with the schizophrenia…And my "fathers"…What sort of a father would I be…"
Alex pressed her palm harder against his chest. She felt his heart pounding.
"You wouldn't throw away what this father had…You're a good man…You're not like your fathers…"
Bobby fell back on the couch. "Eames…Please…I…Please…It's too late for me…I…I can't dwell…"
Alex knelt in front of him. She took a deep breath and charged forward. "You told Nicole not to count you out."
His elbows on his knees, Bobby hid his face in his hands. "That…That was before…Before I knew the truth…And even when I told her that…It was…bravado…I'm like Nicole…A normal life is not for me…"
"No…No…Bobby…" Alex reached for him.
He fell back against the couch. "Eames…No…This is wrong…I came here to help you…I…Oh, God…Please…"
"Bobby…If you're going to try to run away, you're going to have to go through me."
He pressed his palms into his eyes.
"Bobby," Alex said gently. "We've talked about this…We're working on it. We gotta trust each other. We gotta take care of each other. But you gotta let me take care of you."
"What?" Bobby asked in despair. "I gotta tell you everything? Even stuff I'm not sure about?"
"Of course not," Alex said patiently. "But this case…You did so much…And I didn't do my share…"
Bobby dropped his hands and stared at Alex. "You…You talked to the parents…You followed a potential kidnapper into a subway…You went with me to the house…You confronted the parents and helped me tell the aunt that her great niece died and her parents…When I thought the baby didn't exist, you didn't tell me I was crazy. You believed me…You supported me…"
Alex tentatively placed her hands on Bobby's knees. "But I didn't do the hardest thing…I left that to you…" She took hold of his hands. "And now I've got some idea of how much that hurt and cost you. You want a family as much as I do. At least I had a taste of it…"
Bobby swallowed. "You…You shouldn't have to deal with it…"
"No one should…At least not alone…" Alex stood and sat by him. "Tell me about it…Tell me about the baby…"
Bobby stared at the floor.
"Bobby…Tell me…" She squeezed his hand.
"The county sheriff," he finally said in a tight, flat voice. "His officers found the remains on property owned by Emily Hunsford. The baby was in a plastic bag. Her father left her a poem…Not one of his…He couldn't even give her a poem." Bobby pushed a fist into his eye until he saw bright red lights. "Her remains…They fit into this tiny bag…That beautiful little girl…All that was left of her…Fit on a tray the size of a big plate." He began to shake. "If…If I had a wonderful child like that…I…I'd protect her..I'd love her…I wouldn't leave her…Why…Why…"
"I don't know, Bobby…I don't know…I keep asking myself that…I know the mother was ill, but how could she? Why does someone like that get a child and I…" She began to shake.
Alex's pain pierced through Bobby's. "Oh, Alex," he murmured. He wrapped his arms around her. "I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…" He began to rock back and forth.
They managed not to break down into sobs, but they held each other for several moments.
"I'm sorry," Bobby whispered.
"I'm sorry, too," Alex said. "I shoulda been there…I'm your partner."
"You've covered for me enough times," Bobby responded. "I figure I owed you…Still owe you."
They finally separated.
"Could you," Alex asked shyly. "Could you stay tonight? I…I'd feel better…"
Bobby considered the request for a moment, there was never any real question that he'd refuse her request.
"Sure…But let me get breakfast or fix it…"
"Something to look forward to," Alex said. She stood and wiped her eyes. "I'll get you a toothbrush and some towels. The guestroom is all set. Thank you, Bobby…Thank you for trusting me."
Bobby stood. "Thank you, Alex…Thank you for being there for me to trust."
END