He looks over at her, as she sits on his couch. He takes a seat on the arm of the couch.
"Can I ask you something?"
She looks up from the newspaper, "Sure," she nods, with a hint of irritation in her voice, as this is only the third time he's interrupted her in five minutes.
"Why are you so afraid of commitment?"
"That is a great question, Brian."
"And the answer?"
"I am not going to answer that," she insists.
"What would you say if I asked you to marry me, right now?"
"Don't press your luck," she warns.
"Would it be the worst thing in the world?"
"We are not there yet."
"What if we were?"
She scowls at him, "You should drop it."
"What are you getting so testy about?"
"I don't want to get married."
"Now, or ever?"
She shrugs, "I'll let you know when I figure it out."
"Or, you just don't want to marry me."
"Marriage is not all that it is cracked up to be," she counters.
"You have first hand knowledge of this?"
Without thinking she answers, maybe a bit too quickly, "Yes."
He furrows his brow, "You've never been married."
She doesn't say anything."
"Have you?"
"Why are you asking me all of these questions?"
"I was thinking, we should just do it."
"Do what?"
"Get married. Neither of us are getting any younger. I don't really think that there is much more we can learn about each other. Let's just do it. We can fly out to Vegas, or go to Atlantic city for the weekend, and just get hitched."
"Not going to happen."
"Why not?"
"I don't know that I want to be married."
"At all, or just to me?"
"Let's not rush things," she warns.
"You've never been married have you?"
"Have I ever said that I was?"
"No, but I don't really recall you ever say you weren't either. It is something I just assumed, because you never talk about being married, or widowed, or divorced. Then, again, that doesn't mean much with you. You always leave lots of details out. And, you have a tendency to dance around questions."
"Whatever you say."
"Olivia I am asking you, have you ever been married?"
"Have you?" she responds.
"You know that I haven't."
"So can we move on, please?"
"What do you say? Have you ever been to Las Vegas?"
"Yes," she replies.
"You have?"
"Hasn't everyone been to Vegas once in their life?"
"I've never been there."
"You have never been there?" she shoots him a questioning look.
"Never," he admits.
"You aren't missing much," she reveals.
"What did you go there for?"
"The same reason everyone does, to gamble."
"But..."
"I went with a group of friends. One of my friends won a free trip for four. She invited me, so I went along."
"How was it?"
"Awful."
"You didn't win any money?"
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Did you do anything you regret?"
"Brian I told you, I don't want to talk about it."
"Why are you being so testy?"
"Because you refuse to listen to what I am saying."
"Why does everything have to be such a secret with you?"
"What are you talking about?"
"There are still things that you don't tell me."
"I have never told anyone everything."
"I know you think pouring your heart out comes back to bite you in the ass, but all I am asking for is a little bit of honesty."
She places her newspaper on the coffee table. She grabs her purse off the floor, and gets off the couch.
"Where are you going?" he quizzes.
"I'm going home," she answers approaching the door.
"Liv don't be like that. I'm sorry. We don't have to talk about that anymore."
She pulls the door open. She turns and looks at him, "See you later," she slams the door shut.
When she gets home she crawls into the bathtub. She sits in the bathtub thinking about her conversation. She feels a twinge of guilt. If only he knew the half of it. Everyone has secrets, and she's no different. She is entitled to have secrets. She is allowed to have a past, just like he is allowed to be angry.
She stares at her painted toenails. They rest near the faucet. She tries not to go digging up old memories, but she isn't the one who brought it up. She is only trying to shield him from the can of worms he's almost opened. There are just some secrets that you don't want to share with your significant other.
There are some secrets that you shouldn't share at all. Sometimes sharing secrets causes people to shed a new light on you. That light might not always be very flattering. In fact it might be down right ugly. There are some secrets that you don't want to share at all. And there are some secrets you don't even want to share with the people who were there. The ones who know, because they are part of the secret.