'Ello, luv.
Sorry. Seeing movies with british accents makes me speak with one too. :D Anyway, this is the third (and possibly last) companion piece to what was supposed to be a stand-alone story. If you haven't read Sacrifice or Hesitation, They are the companion pieces to this, in Al's and Ed's POV respectively. I know I should be working on the next chapter of When Waiting is Done (My chapter FMA fic for those that don't know) but I couldn't help spinning this out. Beware the angst. Muwhaha.
Oh, and for those anime-only fans, be sure to watch the remake coming out in April! Soooooo much better, and more EdWin moments too!
Okay, this is set in COS, while Winry is watching Ed and Al leave for the last time. EdWin.
DISCLAIMER: Own not Do FMA I.
People that don't know what that says need serious help.
Thanks to my great FMA beta, please-knock. I blow her a virtual kiss.
Enjoy, and reviews make me smile inside!
Trump Card
"I try to talk to you, but I don't know what to say. I am afraid you don't want me to say anything. So I don't. But inside of me there are words waiting to come out. And tell you how I feel-like how I miss you. And how I love you despite my broken heart. And how I need you in my life. And especially how much I want you. But those words may forever stay in my heart-locked inside. Sometimes I wonder if there are words locked inside you too... but I'll never know."- Anon.
She stared at the slowly falling machine, the wind gently blowing her hair. She knew. Of course she knew.
"So...you won't even let us say goodbye..." Her whisper escapes her brokenly, and she feels her face draw in on itself, the pain and desolation settling in. Her fists clench.
And Winry knows that she won't ever see them again. That she won't see Ed again. Or Al. And she knows that in this they may have betrayed her- they always left her behind, but with assurances that they would return. Now, she receives no such words.
There are the remnants of a battle around her, but she really doesn't notice. Her shoulders hunch, and her head bends, but she doesn't cry. A sort of choked half-sob escapes her, and then she is silent.
Afterward, Roy Mustang finds her. He offers an apology. She tells him that she doesn't need one- after all, she was never one to tell those boys what they could and could not do, no one could ever do that, right?- and she laughs, eyes tight and brimming with things she will never release.
He stares at her, and Winry knows that he is not fooled.
"Al tried," He says. "He cried and begged and struggled, but Ed wouldn't change his mind. He...felt that he had to."
And she smiles again, giving an- Oh, I know, I know, Ed's is so bullheaded sometimes! And neither misses the refusal to acknowledge in the past tense.
Roy Mustang still stares at her, his eye darker than the patch. He looks away, and tells her that Al used her to try and make him stay. That Al screamed her name as a last resort, telling Ed that she would miss him.
And Winry trills again- oh of course I'll miss him, who won't miss him? We grew up together, the FullMetal Alchemist and I-
"Ed hesitated," Mustang says. "Al used you as a last resort."
And she stops. He nods to her, knowing that the message has been received. Then, he leaves; leaving her behind in the rough-and-dirty hotel room with it's cracked windows.
Of course he did- She says, and her voice echoes around her- haunting and tormenting her. She closes her eyes.
Of course, of course.
Of course Al would use her, when his own pleas did not work. Not as something suggested wildly when there is no other option, but rather the thing that you know will hit on the mark. She was the trump card; played only when one was sure of victory.
Played because even boys that do not remember the past four years aren't entirely oblivious, because anyone he asked would have told him- would've seen- what she held inside. Winry was played because even Rose- used as a pawn and under a spell to admit what Winry could not- would know the truth.
And Winry knew, too. Ed's hesitation spoke for him- spoke as his mouth could not, and how words now could never reveal.
She lies back on her bed, and raises her hand up.
Winry knows little of the concept of gates, or alchemical knowledge, but from what the military told her, she knows that somewhere Ed and Al are living. To a degree, she supposes that is enough. But not for the whole. Not for the whole that years for them- for the three of them as they once were and should have been again. The whole that rips and shatters and breaks because somewhere, somehow, she can feel him there. Her finger reach out, and for a moment she pretends that her palm brushes that of another- presses together, holds on so tight that not the separation of time, nor worlds can tear it away. And for a moment they are together, and they will never be apart.
She drops her hand.
Wherever they are, she knows that the brothers are not home. For she will keep waiting here; watch down the road for them coming, and shine a light in the darkness.
She had been the trump card, but in the end, even that wasn't enough.