A Regular Day in Tree Hill

Disclaimer: I do not own One Tree Hill.

Life isn't always fun on One Tree Hill. Especially when there are two brothers in the same town. I mean come on, a blond pug-nosed kid with a brown haired mom and a brown-haired dad…that's Lucas Scott. I can see where Nathan comes in with his brown-haired dad. But that's another story. I'm here to tell you a story that will change your view of these so called characters.


Lucas and Peyton

"WHERE'S MY DANG TYLENOL, PEYTON?" yelled Lucas. The basketball coach squinted his puny little eyes at the TV screen that was showing ads for Viagra.

"Well if you opened your dang eyes then maybe you could find them yourself. Lucas, I'm tired of picking up after you. You are a grown pug-nosed man; I shouldn't have to look after you. I am a pregnant lady, in two months I have to shoot this big baby out like a fat man on a water slide at Six Flags. Do your own pill popping," told Peyton.

She walked over to the TV and turned it off. "Why don't you call Skills up and play down at that basketball court thing that is really cheap looking?"

"I don't know, I haven't shaved in two years. There's a bird's nest living in here and I don't want to disturb it. All I want is my dang Tylenol and my Shirley Temple!" yelled pug nose I mean Lucas. "And I am not a pansy for liking such a fruity drink; I'm a pansy because I was born one."

"Okay. Lucas, you're not a pansy. You're voice is deep like farting from milk. And another thing, GET BACK TO YOUR WRITING!"

You know what I find really weird? The fact that they're inNorth Carolina which is down south, and THEY DON'T HAVE SOUTHERN ACCENTS! Don't get me wrong, you don't have to have a southern accent to live there, but none of them have it. The only person with a southern accent was Whitey but Lord knows he's dead already. The dude was probably around when Moses parted the red sea. And another thing, I have my favorite characters and then I have my least favorite characters. I hate Mouth. WHAT KIND OF NAME IS THAT?! The dude doesn't even pronounce his words right, how on earth could he get such a name. But there is no one I hate more than Jamie. I don't like children. I will like mine but it's rare that I like kids. The smart-alec kid thinks he is so cute and slick.

Jamie

"Look at me everyone. Aren't I so cute? Look at me I have blonde hair and I'm short and skinny," says Jamie. People in Ceiling Mart stare at him like he is crazy.

"Kid, didn't your mom and dad ever teach you not to talk to strangers?" asked a man.

"No. My dad is an alcoholic psycho and my mom works," said Jamie in his 'I'm-smarter than you' voice.

"Well, are your parents here? Because all we know Michael Jackson could be walking around here and might ask you if you want some milk and cookies," told the man.

"Have no fear, my Uncle Skills is here. Look at me, I rhymed everyone, aren't I so cute?" Jamie asked.

"No," said a lady with an attitude.

Jamie looked at her and twisted his head back and put his pointing finger in the air. "Lady, now I know you did not just say that to me. Who do you think you're talking to?" asked Jamie.

"Jamie, Jamie, are you causing problems with this nice and attractive blonde woman?" asked Skills as he ran from the cheap cologne department to Jamie.

"No, no it's okay." The lady said blushing. The lady writes down her number and hands it over to Skills. "Call me."

"Not again!" whined Jamie.

Okay, like I said, I have favorite characters and characters that I hate. But I'm going to do one of my favorites right now.


Nathan

Nathan is on his way to be trained by a basketball trainer. He is bringing Skills with him. They walk into the gym. "Oh my God, Ray J!" yelled Nathan as he saw the tall, dark figure on the court.

"No," sighed Skills. Skills put his hand on his head to show embarrassment.

"Oh, never mind, it's Lil Wayne!" yelled Nathan.

"Dude, you add on to the stereotype that all black people look alike and we don't. That dude don't even have dreads like Lil' Wayne," chuckled Skills.

"Black people don't look alike. You don't look like Ray J," noted Nathan. Skills sighed.

There are a lot of annoying things about this show; the fact they play music every five minutes and the fact that no one will give Brooke a cough drop for her sore throat.


Brooke

"Okay, as we launch our new ad for Clothes over Bros, I-" Brooke was interrupted.

"Excuse me ma'am." said her assistant.

"What do you want?" Brooke pointed at her assistant across the table.

"I was wondering if you wanted a cough drop or some sore throat medicine," said the assistant.

"NO! I do not want a cough drop because my throat doesn't hurt. Now leave," yelled Brooke.

Mouth, Millie, and GiGi

Mouth and Millie are in a restaurant. He plans to propose.

"Millie, I love you." Said boy who can't pronounce his words I mean Mouth.

"MARVIN! I love you too." Said Millie.

"Wait! Mouth, I'm in love with you!" GiGi said as she busted through the doors of the restaurant.

"GIGI!" yelled Mouth.

"WHY DO YOU PUT AN EMPHASIS ON HER NAME AND NOT MINE!" screamed Millie.

"What are you talking about?" asked Mouth.

"When you say her name, you put an emphasis on her name. What, am I not special? We are through! YOU CAN STAY WITH HER!" yelled Millie. Millie through her napkin onto the table and stormed out.

"Looks like you're not proposing…"said GiGi.

"…How did you know I was going to propose?"

Nathan and Haley

"Honey, I love you so much." Haley told Nathan. "Ever since we met, I've always had my eye on you. Now that my music career is going well, I think we will have a better life."

"Aw, Haley, we went through so much together and after all that, I always knew we we're going to make it. Now that my basketball career is going well, I think we will have the best life."

"Music, music, music, music, music, music, music, music…" said Haley.

"Can it, woman. It's all about the basketball. Basketball, basketball, basketball, basketball, basketball, basketball…"

Jamie walks in the room.

"Can it, doo doo head. I just got a modeling job in Milan. Now everyone will get to see my charming, good looks and will get to see how cute I am," said Jamie. "Now we're going to have to move from this crummy old town. Here we go France! Milan is in France? Right? Because if it isn't, I don't really care if I got that wrong. I will live off my good looks."

Haley and Nathan walk out of the room.

"Hey! Where are you going? WHO'S GOING TO TELL ME HOW CUTE I AM?!!!" yelled Jamie.

I know Whitey's not dead, by the way. My favorite characters are Nathan, Haley, Skills, Brooke, and Lucas and I made fun of them, so no hard feelings if I made fun of one of your favorite characters. Review, please.