TITLE: Barely a Breath

SUMMARY: Spencer is finding it difficult moving on from Ashley. She kept telling herself and everyone around her that it was best that she and Ashley just remain best friends. But her heart tells her otherwise. She begins to drift into depression – but refuses to tell anyone. Will she go too far in her depressions state where no one can help her? Or will she allow others to help her heal. Will she allow Ashley back into her heart or will she continue to keep Ashley at arms length.

CATEGORY: Romance / Friendship/ Family/ Hurt/Comfort/ Angst/ Spiritual/ Drama/ Tragedy

RATING: T

PROLOUG

One delicate line around the lower right eye, barley a breath. One delicate line at the right corner of the eye, barely a breath. Feathers light touch on the eye brow, barely a breath.

Ever so closely, closer, so close. Two breaths coming one. Barely a breath.

Beads of water hit hot skin. Back shivered as chills ran up and down. Beads beat mercilessly against hot skin. Moaning two hands ran up and down, over soft round breasts, hard as jewels nipples, up the swan length neck, quickly back down the thin navel, waist, down to the pleasure dome.

Head thrown back just allowing to receive the rapture of pleasure that the hands were giving. "I love you Ashley."

Pause.

Her eyes slowly opened, still fully ready to hear her lover respond. Nothing. No words. No Ashley. Just her alone underneath the steamy hot water.

Her hands left her own body as her tears ran down her checks. Mixed with the water. She couldn't even feel if it was her hot tears; or just the hot water on her checks.

Her knees buckled and she just barely caught her fall; before her bare wet butt could slam into the tile on the base of the shower. She drew her knees up to her heaving chest. Wrapping her arms tightly around her legs – she lowered her head to her knees. Heart wreathing sobs burst forth – the sound muffed by the water bursting from the shower head, and the soft music from the bedroom speakers.

She was alone.

She began to shiver; the water against her skin was freezing. She lifted her head – teeth chatting as she began to inch her way up the slippy west wall behind her. Right hand rose shaking up to the knob. It took a few clumsy tries, but she finally managed to turn the water off.

Hands outreached the shower door pushed open. Shivering she stepped out onto the cold tile floor. Wrapping her arms around her chest; stumbling the few inches where she left her bathrobe. She slowly drew her robe around her body, tying the tie as she opened the door.

"You were in there for three hours, Spencer." Her mother's tight voice said from just around her view point.

Spencer's body grew tight and warm. Her arms dropped from where she had wrapped them across her chest. Her back straight and head lifted, "I didn't know I was being timed." She looked her mother straight in the eyes as she walked passed the slim wall that blocked her bed from her bathroom.

"You know there's water storage in California." Her mother said. "In the entire world, Spencer. You know it's quite selfish to use up valuable water, when there is no need too."

"I'm sorry mom. It won't happen again." Spencer truly did feel bad for over using the water supply. But she hadn't realized that she had been in the shower that long. She jerked her chin towards her open bedroom door.

Paula sighed deeply, "Do you have any plans tonight?"

Her shoulders shrugged. "I was planning on seeing what was going on downtown."

"Anyone going with you? Are you going to meet up with anyone?" Paula asked.

"With Ashley you mean." Spencer's head jerked up with blazing blue eyes.

Paula remained silent but she showed her displeasure.

"Whom I chose to spend my time with, is my business, mom, mine, not yours." Spencer stormed. "Matter of fact Ashley is busy at Ego tonight. So I won't be seeing her."

"Ok than." Paula said with a tight nod. "Would you like to spend time with me?"

Spencer gave her mother a 'Are you kidding' look.

"We don't get to spend much time with each other these days, Spencer, soon you will be going off to college. I thought that we should make some more time for mom and daughter time." Paula said. "It's not unheard off ... even in L.A." She shrugged.

Spencer shook her head. "Not tonight. I want to be out of the house."

"Am I such a horrible mother." Paula asked with tears in her eyes.

"Even if I wasn't gay," Spencer saw her mother wince, but she contiuned, "I'm still a sixteen year old girl who doesn't always want to spend time with her mother. It's the way life is mom, when I have a child who is sixteen, my child won't want to spend any time with me either." She tilted her head, "Did you want to spend all your free time with your mother, when you were sixteen mom?"

Paula smiled suddenly. "No." She nodded. "How about I call a friend of mine who's son is in town. You two can get together ton ..."

"Get out of my room mom, please." Spencer sighed deeply. She watched as her mother left closing the door behind her. Her knees gave out on her and she sank to the floor. She covered her mouth with the palm of her left hand, and she felt the fresh tears roll down her checks, as her silent sobs broke through her chest.

END OF THE PROLOUG