Chapter One

Crush

Joe Jonas paced around his new condo in L.A. nervously. He'd been pacing back and forth in his living room for well over an hour now. He tried to calm down and perched on the edge of the dark gray couch, looking around his pad. But unfortunatley there wasn't anything to look at for the sake of distracting himself. He'd just moved in so there were only white walls and unpacked, brown cardboard boxes. 'What a view', he thought to himself sarcastically.

Joe briefly considered unpacking, but his hands were shaking so much that he'd most likely break something if he tried. It wasn't worth the attempt. Grrr... all that he could think about was Adam Fucking Lambert. Even thinking Adam's name to himself made him shiver. Joe couldn't tell if he liked that shiver or not. It would be better not to think about... 'him' at all.

But who was he kidding?! Joe had had 'him' on his mind ever since last year on American Idol. Who hadn't?! Also, it was harder not to think about someone when you'd met them... and invited said person out to dinner. He gulped nervously. What the hell had he been thinking?!

Joe got up and started pacing again without realizing it. He had met 'him' briefly at the Grammy's earlier this year, and they'd chatted a little. Okay, chatting was a major understatment. They'd said less than five words to each other. Or maybe 'he' had only nodded politely in Joe's direction when 'he' had caught his eye once. It was strange, because Joe had secretly put 'him' on a pedastal over the past year, and it was extremely painful to have the person who'd made such a huge impact in his life, to not really care much at all about him in return.

'Well, why should I mean anything to 'him'? 'He' doesn't know me, why should 'he' care?' Joe thought to himself painfully, trying and failing to stop the ridiculous tears from welling up. Joe stopped his pacing abrubtly, clenching his hands into fists, trying to even out his breathing.

Joe gasped loudly and jumped when he felt his iPhone vibrate against his thigh. He laughed at himself as he took his iPhone out of his jeans pocket. He'd just gotten a text from Nick reading: r u ok out there all by urself Joe? lol. mom is worried. Joe smiled. Of course mom was worried. He texted back quickly: Yeah, its all good. Except 4 all th zombies that just broke in2 my condo. But don't worry, I'm prepared. lol. tell mom im fine & not 2 worry. Ill call u all 2morrow. bye. Nick had probably wanted to text him for a while, but Joe wasn't really in the mood to talk to him. Nothing against Nick, no! But Nick was the only one that Joe had ever told about his... his... man-crush... on Adam Lambert. Joe felt himself flush and nearly came to tears again as he felt a deep overwhelming shame pool in his stomache. If he talked to Nick before he left, he'd end up telling him everything. And that couldn't happen, not yet anyway. Nick was too understanding. He hadn't condemned Joe or even hinted that he'd end up in hell. Actually, after the shock had passed, Nick had seemed kind of amused by the whole thing. Not in a mean way either. Joe smiled at the memory. But... what would Nick say now?

Joe walked slowly back over to his couch, sinking down into it with a deep sigh, deciding to put all these confusing and shame filled emotions aside until tomorrow. Oddly enough it worked, and he felt a strange peace settle over him. Kinda like the calm before the storm. It wouldn't break until tomorrow.

After several minutes of deep breathing Joe glanced down at his wrist watch; it was 6:30 p.m. In thirty more minutes he'd be leaving for the small Thai restaurant downtown, which Mr. Adam Lambert had kindly written down for him earlier this morning.

Joe twiddled his thumbs, allowing his leg bounce up and down as it usually did when he was nervous about something. This was a diferent kind of nervous than before, it was an anticipitory nervousness that wasn't at all unpleasant. Butterflies.

Joe bit his lower lip and feeling a little foolish as he thought back to earlier that morning at the local Starbucks…

Joe had been standing in line for about five minutes, it seemed like longer. The people in front of him obviously didn't give a damn that he was Joe Jonas. They needed there coffee fix just as much as he did. Joe was just standing there trying to keep his foot from tapping impatiently, when he'd heard a familiar voice from right behind him say, "Yeah. There's a freakin' long line at the Starbucks right now. I'll talk to you later, after I've had my daily dosage of caffine. Hmmm... yeah." The man chuckled a bit at something the man on the other line was saying. "Okay, bye Glitterbaby."

Joe couldn't help but turn around and stare at the man as he tucked his iPhone into the pocket of his overly-snug jeans. The Man's inky black hair fell in casual disarry around his face, he had piercing blue eyes today, his lips were turned up in a lopsided grin.

Adam Lambert was wearing his customary black liner and nailpolish, accompanied by a pair of tight black skinny jeans with a silver studded belt, silver studded black boots, and a dark purple (almost black) and silver tee. And jewelry of course. What the fuck was Adam Lambert even doing here?!

Joe immediatley felt extrememly... normal. He'd been lazy when he'd gotten up that day and had just thrown on a black tee, a pair of gray skinny jeans, and a pair of old beat up sneakers (they were the first pair he'd grabbed). Not only that... Adam was tall.

"Um... Hi there," Adam said uncertanly raising an eyebrow at Joe and smiling a little.

Joe felt himself flush in embarrassment, realizing that he'd spent the last thirty seconds just standing there staring at Adam Lambert. "Uh... I... Sorry, I kinda, spaced out..." he finished lamely. 'God, Adam must think I'm a freak or something'. Joe turned around trying to will away the awkwardness. The line seemed to be moving even slower.

"What are you doing all the way out here anyways? Concert? Just trying to get away from everybody?"

Why had Adam all-of-a-sudden ask him all those questions? Joe turned around to face Adam again to answer, but nearly choked on his words when he saw the expression on his face. Adam was smiling, but he looked wary, he obviously thought Joe was acting so strangely because he didn't approve of his orientation. Joe immediatley gave him a friendly smile and held out his right hand for Adam to shake.

"I just moved into a condo nearby actually. So you were kinda right in saying I was trying to 'get away'. I'm surprised that you didn't find out from all the tabloids." There, not so bad. Adam relaxed, shaking Joe's hand amiably, though still searching his face for any sign of discomfort. Actually, it was very comfortable. Adam's hand felt warm and soft, and it made Joe's heart lurch with unexpected want. Joe's heart gave another tiny flutter as Adam let go of his hand and chuckled softly. "Well. I just got back to the states, so I've been kind of missing out. But let me guess," Adam said, sapphire eyes suddenly sparkling with humor, "you'er in the middle of a huge feud with your family. You hate Nick's for starting a solo project, and Kevin's wife is having your baby."

Joe nodded as seriously as possible. "Yep, all completely true."

"Wow! What happened to innocent little Joe. Your such a bad-ass now. It all started with that motorcycle." Adam stated with faux regret.

They both stood there looking at each other seriously, for a few seconds before bursting out laughing at exactly the same time. Everyone in the line turned around to look at them. Noticing that everyone was watching Joe quieted down, but got enjoyment out of listening to Adam's giggling. His heart gave more tiny flutters. After that they both stayed silent.

There was only one more person to go before Joe finally got to the counter. He turned to Adam thoughtfully. "What are you doing out here?"

Adam smiled. "I live out here too. I've got a house not far from here."

"Oh! I had no idea... though I probably should have. So I guess this means we have a fair chance of running each other now and then."

Adam nodded. "Yeah, definatley."

Before Joe could think of anything else to say, it was his turn to order. He couldn't even remember what he'd originally come here for, so he just ordered a black coffee. Wow... way to look like an idiot. Who the fuck comes to Starbucks to order a plain black coffee? He paid the woman behind the counter with his credit card and left the shop with his coffee, feeling ridiculous. He didn't turn back once to look at Adam, but he waited outside of Starbucks for him; he wasn't quite ready to go home just yet.

A few minutes later Adam exited Starbucks holding a latte, and did a double take when he saw Joe standing out, there obviously waiting for him.

"Hey, what's up?" He walked over to Joe, grinning and raising his eyebrows.

In all honesty, Joe had no idea what he'd even wanted to say to Adam, so, for the sake of not looking like an even bigger idiot by being speechless, Joe blurted out the first thing that came to mind. "I was wondering if you wanted to hang out later." The words just hung in the air for a few seconds before Joe added, "Cause, you know this place better than I do, and I was looking for a good place to eat tonight, since I can't really cook, and... um, yeah."

Adam's eyebrows rose again, and he searched Joe's face for any hint of a joke. Nope. Just embarrassment. "You, are asking me, to go out to dinner, with you?" Adam asked, starting to laugh.

Joe rolled his eyes pretending to find it funny too. "Shut up, I want to know where the good places are,and you look like an excellent judge for that... sorta thing. Okay, I don't even know what the hell I'm saying, I just though it would be nice to have a friend here..." Joe mumbled off into silence, looking down at the ground. He felt like a child again.

Joe gave a start when he felt Adam's hand unexpectedly on his shoulder. "I'm sorry. I'm not making fun of you, honest. Here," Adam's hand left Joe's shoulder and he handed his latte to him so he could reach into his pocket. He took out a tube of eyeliner and a scrap of paper. Joe watched as he wrote something on it with his eyeliner against one of the many streetlamps lining the sidewalk.

A few seconds later he finished, tucking the eyeliner back into his pocket and taking his latte back, relacing it with the scrap of paper. It was an address.

"They have excellent food."

Joe looked up to see Adam smiling kindly at him. "What time do you wanna meet up there?"

Adam thought about it for a minute, before saying, "Does 7:00 sound good?"

Joe nodded, "Sure."

"Well, I gotta go meet up with some of my friends, see ya later I guess."

They both just looked at each other for a second, before Adam stated what was on both of their minds. "This is a little weird."

"Yeah. I've never even formally introduced myself to you."

Adam snorted, taking a step forward, extending his hand to shake Joe's for the second time that day, saying in an overly exaggerated voice, "Hi, I'm Adam Lambert. Nice to meet you."

Joe grasped Adam's hand, playing along, "Nice to meet you Adam. I'm Joe Jonas."

They both shook hands, laughing under their breaths while passerby gave them odd looks. "Okay, see you later Joe," Adam said, letting go of the hand shake, "Can't wait to see what the tabloids think of our "dinner date"." He smiled and turned around walking away from Joe, shouting one last goodbye over his shoulder.

Even though he knows that he shouldn't, Joe can't help but wish that when Adam said date, that he'd meant a date date. His heart ached a little.

The thirty minutes passed super fast, and before he knew it, he was heading out the door. On the drive to the resturant Joe worried about his clothes. He'd kept the gray skinny jeans and the t-shirt; but he'd worn a nice pair of sneakers and a new jacket that he'd bought recently. He wanted to look at least semi-nice. His hair wasn't too bad; thank God

It made Joe a little sad to know that how Adam would view this "date" and how he would view it would be at opposite ends of the spectrum. After all, Adam was a freakin' rock and roll sex God, and then there was Joe... with his purity ring.

Joe sighed. Was there even half a chance of Adam looking past their differences? And then what if he did? Joe's heart nearly skipped a beat at the thought of being with Adam. Joe ignored the voice that told him that he was going to hell. He'd already decided to worry about that tomorrow.

'Besides,' Joe thought to himself, 'it's not like I'm really gay. It's just a crush.'

OK! THAT'S THE END OF THE FIRST CHAPTER!!! REVIEW PWEEZE! THIS IS MY FIRST FIC THAT I'VE EVER PUBLISHED. SO PLEASE GIVE ME FEEDBACK! 3