Pillaged Pilots
- Spongebob & Squidward's skills are really put to the test when their charter plane pilot is out of the picture.
Inspired off both the Drake & Josh skydiving episode as well as the Family Matters Plane episode. Enjoy!
Characters
Spongebob Squarepants
Squidward Tentacles
The Strangler
The Story
The story starts at Squidward's house one beautiful morning. The octopus wakes up to a nice sun filled room.
SQUIDWARD: What a gorgeous day! Sun's out, temperatures are beautiful even for October, scallops are singing, maybe their peaceful.
Squidward heads downstairs to cook some scrambled eggs & a muffin for his breakfast. He has the day off and plans to use it to his fullest potential.
After having breakfast, Squidward is about to go and watch some TV when suddenly hearing his mailbox shut. He heads outside and watches the mail truck speed away.
SQUIDWARD: Looks like the mail is here, lets see what I got.
Spongebob suddenly shows up.
SPONGEBOB: I'LL GET IT FOR YOU!
Spongebob smiles and blinks his eyelashes focusing on Squidward's face.
SQUIDWARD: SPONGEBOB! Hands off my mail!
SPONGEBOB: But I want to help!
SQUIDWARD: LEAVE!
SPONGEBOB: Can I watch?
SQUIDWARD: No
SPONGEBOB: Please!
SQUIDWARD: No
SPONGEBOB: Pretty please!
SQUIDWARD: No way Jose.
SPONGEBOB: PRETTY PRETTY PLEASE WITH A SUGAR SPRINKLE ON TOP!
Squidward groans deciding to give his irritating neighbor the benefit of the doubt.
SQUIDWARD: Fine… imbecile.
Spongebob claps and dances while Squidward shakes his head. He rips out the envelope and reads this.
SQUIDWARD: Hello random citizen, you have been selected by the Bikini Bottom Waterfield to take flying lessons on a plane. From, the Bikini Bottom Waterfield Association.
SPONGEBOB: YAY! PLANES! THAT IS SO FUN SQUIDWARD! Oh I gotta join! Please! Please! Please!
SQUIDWARD: Actually yes come with, it would be fun to push you out of a plane, AHA! AHA! AHA! Oh I am a good comedian!
The scene cuts to the Waterfield where several practice planes fly about. Squidward & Spongebob enter the office. They are both a little nervous due to having a slight fear of heights but they have to go through with this due to coming too far. A man walks up, with a mustache that has a $2 price tag on it.
MAN: Excellent! You brought the frycook!
SQUIDWARD: Wait, how'd you know he's a frycook?
MAN: Oh um ah, I mean, great for bringing a friend!
The man forms a smile & rips off the $2 price tag.
SQUIDWARD: Whatever
MAN: Anyways, I presume you are the junior pilots going to be joining us today for lessons.
SPONGEBOB: Yeah, juniors!
MAN: Nervous eh?
SQUIDWARD: So am I, but oh well.
MAN: Yeah! Uh funny joke!
SQUIDWARD: That wasn't a joke.
MAN: Well uh anyways, let's get you into your plane. Oh by the way my name is the Tattle uh I mean, T. Attle Strangles!
SQUIDWARD: What a stupid name.
SPONGEBOB(nervous): Yeah um, let's go.
The scene cuts to Strangles, Squidward & Spongebob in the plane.
STRANGLES: Okay Squidward, turn your plane on.
Squidward shakes his tentacle nervously but manages to turn the ignition on.
STRANGLES: Okay now, Spongebob, I'll strangle you! Uh I mean, press the throttle!
Spongebob sets the plane into motion.
STRANGLES: Now you're getting it. Squidward, keep steering until we lift off.
Squidward keep steering the plane down the send off before the plane finally lifts & begins flying through the water. He shakes nervously & begins to tremble.
STRANGLES: Don't worry! Don't worry! You're doing good! Now Spongebob, turn off the
landing gear & Squidward, keep her steady.
They do so.
STRANGLES: Okay, now we have to wait until the plane reaches an altitude of 8,000 feet.
Squidward & Spongebob shake with fear.
SQUIDWARD: 8,8,8,000 feet?
SPONGEBOB: L,L,Lovely.
After some time passes, the plane reaches 8,000 feet.
STRANGLES: Okay, we are good!
SQUIDWARD: Oh thank you! Now time to land this thing.
Strangles puts on a parachute and then cracks his hands.
STRANGLES: I'm afraid I can't allow that Octopus man & Sponge boy.
SPONGEBOB: Why?
STRANGLES: You don't get it by now?! Well, that is changing!
Strangles rips his mustache off with force.
STRANGLES: I'M THE TATTLE TALE STRANGLER!
SPONGEBOB & SQUIDWARD: TATTLE TALE STRANGLER?!
STRANGLER: The one & only! Now, time to strangle Spongebob! And maybe you too Squidward, if we don't have turbulence! (He rises) COME HERE!
SPONGEBOB & SQUIDWARD: AAAAAAAHHHHH!
Spongebob & Squidward proceed to fend off the Strangler in a small charter plane. Squidward throws a fire hydrant at the Strangler while the Strangler sits on Spongebob.
SPONGEBOB: Hahah! That tickles!
STRANGLER: BUT IT SHOULDN'T!
Spongebob calms down while Squidward returns to the pilot's seat to keep control over the plane. Spongebob then shimmies out from under the Strangler's butt and begins karate kicking & chopping him.
STRANGLER: OWWW!
SPONGEBOB: You will not strangle me!
SQUIDWARD: Although it would be greatly appreciated!
SPONGEBOB: SQUIDWARD!
The Strangler rises up & closes in on Spongebob.
STRANGLER: I AM GOING TO PUMMEL YOU!
Squidward notices a door open button and decides to press it. The plane doors open and the turbulence catches the Strangler.
STRANGLER: Whoa,whoa,whoaa!
The Strangler wobbles for a bit before finally falling out of the airplane.
STRANGLER: AAAAAHHHHHHH!
By the time he reaches 3,000 feet, his parachute opens & he begins to safely descend downwards.
STRANGLER: I'LL GET YOU SPONGEBOB! If you survive the plane crash! Oh well, at least I get to land safely.
The Strangler dips through the clouds & is right above the Prison & slowly floats down into the courtyard.
STRANGLER: OH YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!
Back in the plane, Spongebob shuts the doors and sits in the passenger seat.
SPONGEBOB: We did it!
SQUIDWARD: We sure did! Now time to steer this plane home, do you have flight knowledge?
SPONGEBOB: No, do you?
SQUIDWARD: Nope.
Spongebob & Squidward remain quiet for a bit before screaming.
SPONGEBOB & SQUIDWARD: AAAAAAHHHHHHH! WE HAVE NO PILOT!
Spongebob begins fidgeting but Squidward manages to calm him down.
SQUIDWARD: Zip it buffoon! We'll get through this!
SPONGEBOB: I hope so!
Spongebob pulls out a juice that was in his back pocket.
SPONGEBOB: I need to consume some grape juice.
Spongebob begins loudly sipping & sipping & sipping on his Grape Juice box while Squidward continues steering the plane. Finally, Squidward gets annoyed.
SQUIDWARD: ENOUGH OF THE JUICE!
He chucks it out the window.
SPONGEBOB: Sorry!
SQUIDWARD: Let's just try to land the plane. Here, I'm going to try and push the throttle downwards.
Squidward does this, the plane's alarm beeps & the plane begins decending downwards at a fast speed.
SPONGEBOB: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
SQUIDWARD: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
SPONGEBOB: PULL BACK!
SQUIDWARD: I'M TRYING!
After some struggle, Squidward pulls back on the throttle & the plane turns back upward until Squidward finally steadies at 5,000 feet. Spongebob & Squidward breathe very heavily with very horrified looks on their faces. After finally getting the souls back into their body, they converse.
SPONGEBOB: Let's not do that again!
SQUIDWARD: YOU THINK?!
Squidward uses his inhaler to get some more breath while Spongebob returns to his fidgeting.
SQUIDWARD: Ok, but seriously we need to figure out how to land this thing, before we're both dead.
SPONGEBOB: We're probably already both dead.
Squidward continues steering when suddenly an idea pops in his mind.
SQUIDWARD: I got it! The radio control tower!
SPONGEBOB: What's that?
SQUIDWARD: Idiot…. um, it is a tool we can use to communicate with experts that know this plane stuff more than we do. Perhaps they can tell us how to land this thing!
SPONGEBOB: Oh… I don't get it?
SQUIDWARD: SIMPLETON! ERRGH! I'LL COMMUNICATE!
Spongebob grabs out some Snail Po from his pocket.
SPONGEBOB: And I'll eat snail food, since I'm hungry!
Spongebob tastes the snail po and turns brown and wrinkly.
SPONGEBOB: Blehhg!
Squidward grabs a walkie talkie & tries to get into contact with radio control.
SQUIDWARD: Hello? Hello?! Radio Control Tower, can you come in? I am stuck in a plane, with a hopeless moron and have no idea how to land this thing, can you read me?! Hello?!
SPONGEBOB: Squidward
SQUIDWARD: Not now.
SPONGEBOB: Squidward!
SQUIDWARD: Zip it.
SPONGEBOB: SQUIDWARD!
SQUIDWARD: WHAT?!
Spongebob points to the label, it says, "Radio Control" but under, it adds, "Which music do you prefer?" Squidward's head fuses like a bomb & he tears the radio out and throws it out the window.
SQUIDWARD: We'll never get out of here. I'm too old to die. I haven't made my breakthrough as a solo musician with a passion for art criticism yet.
SPONGEBOB: And I haven't went in a race yet, I'm too slow!
SQUIDWARD: And I… wait, that's it, slow! Man I'm such a buffoon! Let's slow down the plane!
SPONGEBOB: We can try.
SQUIDWARD: But how?
SPONGEBOB: Well, you pressed on the throttle which made it go faster, so maybe pull back?
SQUIDWARD: Pfft, thank you Captain Obvious.
Squidward pulls back on the throttle & the plane is in motion but slower.
SQUIDWARD: We're doing it! We're doing it!
The plane then begins turning upside down but doesn't loop de loop this time.
SPONGEBOB: NOT AGAIN!
SQUIDWARD: AAAAAAHAHHHHHHH!
Squidward steadies and turns the plane right side up at 7,550 feet.
SQUIDWARD: Well that didn't work!
SPONGEBOB: Wait, did you keep the throttle steady?
SQUIDWARD: Um, nope.
SPONGEBOB: Keep it steady! But good news! We're heading back towards the waterfield, we can do this!
SQUIDWARD: Oh now, you're optimistic.
Squidward gets nervous but manages to pull back on the throttle again but keeping it steady this time. The plane doesn't turn & is now sinking through the water and headed right for the landing strip.
SQUIDWARD: Come on baby, you can do this!
At 4,000 feet.
SPONGEBOB: Wow, I can see tall skyscrapers from up here! And they look like ants!
At 2,150 feet.
SQUIDWARD: Oh homina, homina, homina.
At 900 feet.
Spongebob shakes with nervousness. The plane is coming down the home stretch.
SQUIDWARD: Landing gear!
Squidward applies the landing gear just in time & finally safely lands the plane.
SQUIDWARD: WE DID IT!
SPONGEBOB: YAY!
Spongebob hugs Squidward.
SQUIDWARD: Don't touch me!
SPONGEBOB: Sorry!
The plane comes to a halt & all is good. Spongebob & Squidward exit.
SQUIDWARD: Man, will I have a story to tell!
SPONGEBOB: Please make me the hero!
SQUIDWARD: Villain would be more suitable.
SPONGEBOB: Nah! The villain was The Strangler! Speaking of, where is he now?
The scene cuts to the Strangler in Prison, he returns to his cell and goes on his bed looking like he has taken a shower but also looks scarred for life, he crawls into a ball shaped like a fetus.
STRANGLER: I shouldn't have dropped the soap!