Author's Note:
I apologize if this theme has been tackled before. I claim ignorance as I have only recently returned to FFN. This is just something that I felt I needed to write about. That something being OCD and its partner, Hypochondria.
This fic contains Shounen-Ai.
It is my intent to actually make readers uncomfortable during certain parts of the story. I feel that the theme is portrayed better that way.
Before you go through wondering, "How in the hell could that happen?" - please note that my intention is to get very, very, very deep into the topic as the story progresses. This chapter is merely an "introduction," if you will.
Minor update - Thanks for catching what I missed during editing, I appreciate it!
Warnings: Smoking. Light swearing. Could get better or worse as the chapters go on, depending on my whims.
Disclaimer: Yu Yu Hakusho © Yoshihiro Togashi.
Little Things
By Zelia Theb
They were there.
At his house.
"Shuichi! Your friends are here!"
Kurama emerged from his room, hair tied back with a pencil in hand, and descended the stairs. His mother had invited his friends (and teammates) Yusuke and Kazuma into their home.
"Hey, Kura...Minamino!" Yusuke waved.
"Minamino!" Kazuma was a bit more on target.
"Hello," Kurama replied. "What brings you two here?"
His mother, Shiori, smiled politely and then made her way into the kitchen, deciding it best to leave her son and his friends be.
"Well," Yusuke began, "we wanted to know if you wanted to hang out." One big brown eye winked in Kurama's direction.
"She's in the kitchen, idiot," Kazuma said.
"So what, Kuwabara!" Yusuke replied. "I don't need Botan yelling at me again for spilling the beans!"
"No thank you," Kurama answered. "I have homework to do."
"It's kinda important," Yusuke said.
Kurama let out a heavy sigh. "Very well. I have to get ready."
That's when the two teens followed him upstairs to his room.
It was not pleasant.
Kurama set the pencil down on his desk and immediately moved to his closet. He was wearing a plain white tee, and decided that he might need a bit more to cover up with if he were to be out all night.
"You rearranged a little, huh?" asked Yusuke, taking in the bedroom. It had been a month since he'd been in the room.
Kurama was sick at the time. Yusuke couldn't believe it, but it had happened. He never did find out what exactly Kurama had contracted, but he was grateful he didn't catch it. Kurama had been shaky, feverish, and could barely move. He would cough and sneeze and wheeze and whine and toss and turn. He didn't have much of an appetite, but at least he was able to eat. It kept him out of school for two weeks.
Yusuke had visited him once each week. Each time, Kurama looked the same: miserable. His face was pallid, nose red, and his hair was plastered all over his forehead and neck. He was happy that Kurama looked a lot better. Not quite as radiant and handsome as he had before the illness, but still much better.
"I did," Kurama said, pulling out two sweaters, one midnight blue, the other daffodil yellow.
Yusuke's eyes continued scanning the room. They fell onto a neat stack of open textbooks, the eraser-end of a pencil protruding from them like bookmarks. Next to the stack was a single paper, and the discarded pencil that Kurama had set down earlier.
"You still doing make-up work?" Yusuke inquired.
"Yes." The demon could not remember if his mother had washed the yellow sweater, or if he had.
Kuwabara moved over to the stack, just to get an idea of what it was that Kurama was working so hard on. When he spotted the math problems on the paper, his eyes went wide.
"Whoa. That's advanced stuff."
"Indeed," Kurama responded. He knew for sure that he had washed the blue one.
Curious, Yusuke nudged Kuwabara to the side, took a look, and exclaimed, "Holy crap! How would you even begin to solve that?" In order to get some sort of idea, he briefly picked up the pencil to get a better look at the paper. It was either algebra, calculus, or the M-Theory. He set the pencil back down and uttered another phrase of amazement.
Kurama's eyes set on the pencil for a moment, and then on the sweater in his hand. He had chosen the midnight blue.
"I will meet you two outside," he said, voice lacking emotion.
The two boys took that as a sign of needing privacy to change. Kurama had always been a terribly private person. Yusuke left first, with Kuwabara trailing.
But Kuwabara was perceptive. That was his strength in the team.
So he took one last glance behind him before he stepped down the stairs. He watched Kurama pick up his homework at the corners, leaving the pencil on top, and let go of it above the wastebasket next to his desk. After witnessing the unusual and wasteful behavior, Kuwabara suddenly felt that it was best to catch up to Yusuke before he was caught spying.
Outside, Yusuke reached into the pocket of his uniform and grabbed a pack of cigarettes. I should probably get the dirt off my nails, he thought as he held the pack up.
"Hey, Urameshi," Kuwabara said, "don't do that right here. It's not respectful to Kurama's mom."
"What the hell do I care?" he said, pulling out one of the slender sticks.
"'Cause, ya jerkface, we gotta stay on her good side! She's a nice lady and all."
Yusuke was already on his way to lighting up, with one hand cupped over a match, protecting it from the wind. As he exhaled his first drag, he said, "Kurama looks like shit."
"At least go across the street, Urameshi, jeez!"
"Fine." And they did so.
"Whaddya mean?"
Yusuke glanced at him sideways, inhaled, and then flicked the ashes. With a quick puff of smoke, he said, "Just look at him."
"And you think - jeez, idiot!" Kuwabara waved a hand in front of his face as he coughed into the other. "Do ya really have to do that?"
"Do ya really have to stand downwind?"
The taller quickly moved to the other side of Yusuke, and asked, "You think she's the reason? Too overbearing, or something?"
"Not sure." Another drag, slow and steady. "Something's up."
"Yeah, he was dressed kinda weird," Kuwabara agreed.
"He coulda just taken the jacket of his uniform off, ass."
"He had on different pants, ass."
"You'd notice."
"I do notice, and not for any reason that you're thinkin'!" Kuwabara exclaimed, voice slightly raised.
"Jeez, idiot. Talk a little louder, will ya? His mom prolly heard that from inside."
"But!" Kuwabara protested. Yusuke was such a jerk sometimes. Most of the time.
"Never seen him with his hair back like that either."
"You're right."
Yusuke and Kuwabara, their conversation over, thought about those things as they stood waiting. It was rather strange behavior. Yusuke was still in his green uniform, and he hadn't even bothered to fix the few strands of his hair that his gel refused to keep back. Likewise, Kuwabara was still in his blue uniform, but unlike Yusuke, took the time to fix his hair at school. It was a tad humid out, and that tended to make his hair really pop out.
However, their attitudes with regard to their appearance was not out of character. Both of them have had to wash bloodstains out of their uniforms several times. But so had Kurama. It was slight, but enough to get their attention.
Kurama made his way to the bathroom sink. Grabbing toilet paper, he covered the faucet handle and turned on the water, then tossed the paper out.
Water.
Soap.
One.
Two.
Three.
Four.
Five.
Six.
Seven.
Eight.
Nine.
Ten.
Soap.
One.
Two.
Three.
Four.
Five.
Six.
Seven.
Eight.
Nine.
Ten.
Eleven.
Twelve.
Thirteen.
Fourteen.
Fifteen.
Sixteen.
Seventeen.
Eighteen.
Nineteen.
Twenty.
Drying his hands, he quickly turned the water off. His mother would not be pleased if she found him wasting it so. He went back into his bedroom and put on the sweater, before heading downstairs.
"Is it alright if I go out for a bit, mother?" he asked her, right hand gripping at the hem of his sleeve.
"Absolutely, dear. Will you be out all night?" Shiori knew that her son often stayed the night with Yusuke and Kazuma. They were such polite boys, so she didn't mind.
"Perhaps," he answered, though was certainly hoping to complete the mission as soon as possible.
"Let me give you some money, dear." She moved into the corner and grabbed her purse, reaching in to find her wallet. Kurama reluctantly held out his left hand to accept the gift. The dirty, everybody-in-town-probably-touched-this gift.
"Thank you," he said, putting the town in his left pocket. "I will call you if I stay out."
"Alright, have a good time!" She sent a pleasant smile his way, which he lovingly returned.
Might as well keep the contamination to one hand, he thought as he left, allowing his right hand to come out of his sleeve. His other hand began to tingle as he used it to close the door behind him. Breathing deeply, he crossed the street, regaining his composure as he met up with his allies. The scent of smoke was faint, but present.
"Man, what took you so long?"
"It was only a few minutes."
"Urameshi's just being a crab-ass," Kuwabara remarked as they began walking.
"What is this case about?" Kurama asked, disregarding the prior exchange. His hand was still tingling, and he felt his sweater crawling all over his torso. The sooner this was over with, the better.
"We need your help on a stake out," said the detective. "Some guy named Kino's supposed to show up at the Mister Burger and pass drugs to some guy with a purple mohawk."
"Then this is a matter for the police, then."
"Uh, no, 'cause both of 'em are possessed by low level spirits. And the drug is from the Demon World anyway. Koenma wants it gone."
Bugs. All over his hand, crawling up his forearm and onto his chest.
"Fine."
And they walked. And walked. And walked. Kurama refused to use the public transit, and it only took them that much longer. Even Yusuke, the most delinquent of them all, was shocked at Kurama's need to be a pain in the ass. But Kuwabara knew better.
How fortunate it was for them that Mister Burger had automatic doors.
The scent of lemon and grease pervaded the air. The floor glistened in the fluorescent lighting that dotted the restaurant. Kurama's stomach began to settle as he took in the aroma.
There wasn't much of a line when they got to the counter. Yusuke and Kazuma ordered the same thing: a burger, fries, and a soda. The redhead was about to do the same, that is, until he saw her. And her nails. Adjusting her hair. Then using her hands to touch the rolls. How could his friends have missed this? It was so blatantly obvious that she was contaminating the food! The bugs began crawling again. Thankfully, the boy at the deep-fryer knew better. He was changing gloves each and every time they were contaminated, and being quite gingerly with the food. Kurama opted out of the burger and went for just the fries and the drink. He made sure to grab extra napkins before carrying his tray to the table that Yusuke had chosen.
He wiped away the excess crumbs on the table with those napkins, set down his tray, then excused himself from the table. Kazuma watched him carefully as he threw away the napkins on his way to the restroom.
"Why do his fries look better than mine?"
"I dunno, man. Probably a fresh batch."
"That's not fair."
"Who cares, just eat your damn fries."
"Sorry about that," Kurama apologized, sitting back down after having been gone for a minute.
"Your fries look better than mine," Yusuke said. He began reaching for one of them, the dirt in his nails threatening to drop all over the place, when Kuwabara elbowed him. Hard. In the ribs.
Kurama gave Kazuma a quick glance, and then took a fry, thankful for the save. He didn't get to eat much before Purple Mohawk walked in.
"Perfect," said Yusuke. "Now we wait for Kino."
"And what are we exactly looking for?" asked Kurama, eyeing Yusuke cautiously.
"Blond guy, spiked hair, Tsukyomi-High uniform."
"Then let's get this over with," said the demon, standing from the booth and throwing away his hardly-touched meal.
"Damn it, you had the good fries, too!"
"Urameshi!"
"So, what exactly's your problem?"
"What do you mean by 'problem'?" Kurama questioned.
"What I mean is..." A long drag. "...your attitude. You've been in a pissy mood all night."
Kuwabara did not bother to interfere this time. Yusuke was a complete idiot, and he would not listen to him anyway. Was it not obvious that Kurama had developed some sort of OCD? He wasn't sure how someone of Kurama's calibur could have fallen in such a way, though he knew that a certain sort of madness always accompanied genius.
Kuwabara was correct. The fox had indeed become afflicted by Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, spurred on by a newly found hypochondria. The illness he had a month back took the wind out of him. He had never felt so out of control in his entire life, and it terrified him. That was why he had rearranged his room. He had inexplicably transformed into his Youko form one night, and methodically turned everything upside down (with force). Papers, clothing, and the occasional piece of broken wood had littered the floor. His mother, hearing the raucous from her own bedroom, rushed into his room to find him passed out among the mess, drenched with sweat.
When he realized what he had done, he became frustrated when he was unable to muster up the same energy to grow one of the many panaceas he had seeds for. Seeds, he discovered, that had been vacuumed up during clean-up.
Worst of all, he scared his mother. That would not happen again.
"I'm alright," Kurama lied.
"Kuwabara," Yusuke said, taking his last drag and then tossing his cigarette to the ground, "walk ahead of us."
"Urameshi!" Kuwabara stopped cold to pick up the still smoking stick. Kurama shuddered in disgust. "Stop littering! The world is not your ashtray!"
"Kuwabara..."
"Fine, but I'm throwing this out at home!" He stomped away, and shouted, "And I'm gonna make sure I run water on it so I don't go starting a fire like you'd prolly do!"
Yusuke muttered something underneath his breath before saying, "Now that he's gone, you can tell me."
"What makes you think that I trust you more than Kuwabara?"
The words struck Yusuke harder than Kuwabara had earlier in the day. "I dunno, just a saying," he lied. "Come with me."
"Where?"
"Over here, to the alley."
Kurama held a reserved and cautious look. There's garbage cans, he thought. And puddles.
"Yeah yeah yeah. Ew gross, and all that." The detective was unaware of how painfully spot-on he was with his remark. "But it's not right here on the sidewalk." Yusuke gestured with his eyebrows. "Will you come with me?"
Reluctanty, Kurama complied. He made a conscious effort not to touch his face with his hands, nor much else for that matter. Luckily the alley wasn't as dirty as he had feared. Nonetheless, Yusuke managed to nearly pin him near a wall.
"Seriously, what's the matter? You look terrible. You're acting terrible."
"It is nothing, Yusuke."
"It's something." Yusuke moved toward him and gently caressed his face with the back of his hand, causing the fox to wince. "Does this freak you out?"
"Does what?" he asked, his face burning from both aspects of the touch.
The detective stepped forward again with his hand, only to have Kurama recoil, backing himself into the wall with a thud. The hand stopped.
"I guess it does," he said, allowing his hand to cascade to his side.
"It doesn't," Kurama told him. "I'm just not feeling very well today."
"Again?" Yusuke grew concerned. He moved closer again to feel Kurama's head, a gesture the fox didn't have the energy to argue against at the moment. Yusuke's palm stayed there for a moment, carefully calculating Kurama's body temperature with his touch, until finally, it moved to the redhead's cheek, where he had wanted it in the first place.
"Am I alright?" Kurama was worried that he may have contracted something during their short mission.
"You're fine." Yusuke stepped in closer.
Suddenly it was everything. Smoke. Dirt. Nails. Germs, germs, germs. The sweater felt like it was moving. Yusuke leaned in. Kurama deflected, turning his head to the side.
"No," Kurama said, palms starting to sweat. "I do not feel well. I don't want you to catch anything from me."
A sigh, then a release. Yusuke stepped back, giving Kurama his personal space again.
"It's fine. I get it." Picked one hell of a time to make a move, didn't I? Yusuke thought. Kurama said nothing. Yusuke took this as a sign that he was right; he freaked out his friend, and that friend was trying his best to let him down easy. I should have known better. He's been pissy all night. He didn't wanna be near me tonight to begin with.
Kurama felt uneasy. He pondered what might have happened had he not turned crazy. Would it have even culminated to anything if he hadn't been in such a foul mood? And since when did he display anything less than politeness? Yusuke wasn't his enemy. He wasn't treating the people he cared about poorly.
Kurama had denied Yusuke a kiss. It was clear that Yusuke didn't understand. Even if they were to start a relationship, would he eventually be able to? Kurama feared what Yusuke might do if he knew his true condition. He wanted to believe that Yusuke would be gentle, but that was just a fantasy. In a perfect world, everything would be clean. Everyone would be clean. Life would be easy.
But Yusuke was tough. He didn't care about "the little things." Having been trained by Genkai, he mostly likely would react in the same way that she would in the situation.
That meant exposure therapy. Effective? Yes. Terrifying? Absolutely. Would Yusuke have the patience to take all of the baby steps with him? Suffice it to say, his reputation wasn't built on patience.
"I'll see you later Kurama."
The fox realized how shallow and quick he had been breathing. As well as how long he had been doing so.
"Yusuke." The teen turned to face him. Kurama paused, unsure if he wanted to say what he had intended to. "Please come over to my house tomorrow, if you'd like to."
"You don't have to play-date me."
"Placate. And, I'm not."
"Seriously?" Yusuke's muscles eased up. I could swear it was play-date. It kinda makes sense.
"Yes. A good night's sleep should do some good."
The other teen smirked, and asked, "Goin' home now?"
"Yes."
"I can walk with you."
"Alright." Kurama looked down the street. "Where's Kuwabara?"
To Be Continued...?
Author's Note
The "?" is there so that I don't make any promises. I would really like to continue this story, but at this stage in time, I actually don't have any ending or ultra-developed plot like I have had with past stories. I found that having an idea in mind, going for it, and then changing my mind mid-story has been a road-block for me, and causes me to lose interest. Right now, I am just sticking to the theme of OCD, and seeing what happens around it. Oh, and with the occasional smattering of boy-love.
That being said - the pairings are actually up in the air too. They will involve Kurama in some way, though.
Do not be alarmed by the absence of Hiei. If you're a returning reader, you know that I don't forget him!
Feel free to look up the M-Theory.
(Completely off-topic - check out my profile for a public service announcement.)
Thanks for reading! Please feel free to review!
-Zelia