Hey, this story has been in my head for so long and everytime I try to update my story, Perfectly Broken, this one got in the way. I'm not sure how long this story will be but I do not think it is over yet. I hope you like it and as always the more nice reviews I get the quicker I update. Please no flames, I have had a good amount on some of my other stories and I am working hard on getting better.
'How long does it take to fall out of love? How hard is it to cover it up, to hide it in some way? As difficult as it may be, is it worth the hurt to get shot down? Who gets to decide the answers? Does he hold the final word? And if so, why on Earth would I give him that power?'
These questions have managed to invade my mind ever since the fateful day I met him, Beck Oliver. Just the name brings a much to familiar wave of feelings. I hate that feeling in my stomach when we sit together, that happy, warm, disgusting feeling. Its a weak feeling, one that should have never been acted upon. Honestly, had I not just sworn myself away from the myth that is love. You'd think I would have been smarter then to fall into the same hole that has been drowning my mother and sister for so long. I'm tired of hearing how my sister's boyfriend of the week is 'the one'. As if there really is one person for every one. Then I get to watch my mom's boyfriend swear he's nothing like my father, yet he is practically a clone. The only change is the switch from alcohol to cigarettes. But apparently it's my fault not his, apparently I'm just jealous according to my mother. Jealous of what, I have no idea. What do I care only three years in this town, in that house, and I'll be free. Gone as soon as that diploma hits my hand.
Shaking my head as my mind wonders I think to myself, 'Enough with the pity party Jade, no one really cares. Put up your shield and walk through those doors like nothing can get to you. Hold your head up and you'll make it through one more day.'
Pushing open the obnoxiously colored doors, I move quickly and unnoticed to my locker. Without a glance around, I make my way to my safe haven. Room A5, Sikowitz. Taking my seat in the back of the class, I watch as my classmates flow in. Most held fearful looks on their faces, this being our sophomore year and or spontaneous teacher still has them on their toes. Even after a year in his class no one has figured him out yet and truth be told I doubt, we ever will.
Checking the clock, 7:40, five minutes till class starts, and as usual our debatably insane teacher is late.
Effortlessly Beck slides into the seat beside mine and I force the smile off my face. Moments later Cat stakes claim on the unoccupied seat to my left. Looking around I notice Tori, Andre and Robbie have already settled themselves in the front of the room.
Minutes ticked by and finally our teacher decided to grace us with his presence. But instead of his crazy every day self, a troubled man stood before us. The room went silent at the sight of our teacher. I have known Sikowitz since I turned ten and I have only ever seen him like this one time and believe me it was a day neither of us ever want to relive.
Ignoring the rest of the class Sikowitz stares at me and my fears are confirmed. Closing my eyes for a brief second I allow myself to relive the pain and hopelessness of that fateful day six years ago.
'The rain was pounding on the windshield as my father and I made our way to the my school's theatre. In those days he was my guardian and though it was scary at times it was safer then my other options. The play was Romeo and Juliet, naturally I had finally been cast as the lead opposite my best friend at the time Florence Tern. Sikowitz was our stage director and the show went off without a hitch.
But the real tragedy was waiting for me once I got off the stage. Cat had hugged me and ran off to find Robbie, leaving me to find my father. By the time I spotted him we were, at least I thought, the last ones in the auditorium.
Walking up to him I could smell the alcohol on his breathe and knew I was in for a fight. But as I was preparing myself for whatever he was going to do, I could not help but wonder how he had smuggled the booze into the auditorium, never once did I think to ask why he would. It was just a natural occurrence with my father.
Before I knew it the yelling had started, and the insults came easily. My inability to act, how horrible I look and just for kicks he decided to add that I took away his talent and am useless with it. Not sure how that made since to him but with the amount of empty bottles under his chair I'm just proud he can even stand. Rolling my eyes I feel myself fall, or rather being pushed to the ground as he turned and walked away from me. Our rusty old truck started and I was left to sort out how I was getting home.
Before I had a chance to stand up, Sikowitz came running in. Apparently he had heard the yelling and came as fast as his coconut fuzzed brain could bring him. Pulling me up on my feet he walked me to his car and brought me to Cat's house for the night explaining everything to her parents.'
Opening my eyes, I turn to Sikowitz and nod.
"Jade I need to speak with you outside." He says slowly
Standing up I walk towards the door, hearing a chorus of: "What did she do?" and "Is Sikowitz alright?"
Once out the door, Sikowitz turns seriously to me.
"He's here Jade. They say he's teaching a class on music management."
Bring my face up from the ground I nod for him to continue knowing there is something more he needs to say. Pausing for a moment, he puts his hands on my shoulders and begins again.
"Jade he's coming to all the classes to get acquainted with the students. I figured you could go to the bathroom and I will call you when he leaves."
Shaking my head I reply, "I won't be that scared little girl again Sikowitz. He has haunted me for so many years, it's time I stood up for myself. Besides, it's better I see him with witnesses around then alone."
Shaking his head in agreement, he motions for me to go through the door first.
Twisting the nob, I realize the class had seen our exchange and was know greeted with curious looks from everyone. Taking my seat between Cat and Beck. I lean towards Cat and whisper to her, "He's here."
Letting out a loud 'Eep' I look at her, begging her to act calm with my eyes. Obeying as best she could, Cat looked to the front of the room. I could tell Beck was curious, but only five people know of this weakness and there is no way I'm bringing another person into it.
Pulling out my phone I quickly text Florence, "Guess who's here?"
Within second my phone vibrates, "I'll be there in a few. Your in Sikowitz's class right."
Typing carefully I reply, "Yeah A5, what class are you coming from I'll get Sikowitz to sign you out."
"G2, Biology with Mrs. Vincent."
"Okay, one second."
Standing up, I whisper the directions to Sikowitz, and return to my seat.
After putting down the phone and discreetly nodding to me, Sikowitz addresses the class, "At nine we will be introduced to the music management teacher, Mr. Ryan Grains." Flinching unnoticeably at his name, Sikowitz tells the class to take the rest of the time to play charades on the stage.
While paying attention to the game Beck drapes his arm casually around my shoulders shouting random things at Andre on stage. Cat halfheartedly plays the game while all the while keeping an eye on me. If I was in my right mind right now I would have said something to make her stop babying me but as it stands all I can do is watch the door.
Within minutes the door is opened unnoticed to all but myself, Cat and Sikowitz. In slipped my savior and quickly I slip out of Beck's grip and to the back of the room where Florence stood. Glancing around, i notice know one noticed out presence and quickly slip into Florence's comforting arms.
"It's going to be alright." He says, and I can tell he is just as mad and scared as I am. "How long until he's here?"
"Sikowitz said at nine, so we have, like half an hour." I say pulling back from the embrace to stand beside him.
"Good." He replied wrapping his arm around my waste and pulling me into his side.
Normally I would have pushed anyone who did this away, but this is Florence. The guy who has stood by me since kindergarten, my best friend. The only thing that brought Florence and I to separate was the high pitched squeal from Cat. Before I could pull to far away from Florence the class' attention was on us and all the girls took in Florence's appearance. Soon enough Cat was hugging the breathe out of Florence while the rest of the class looked at Sikowitz for an explanation.
"Glad you could make it Florence." Sikowitz said from his spot on the stage. "Everyone this is our new student Florence Tern. Now that introductions are done, Robbie I believe you were up."
Walking toward the three of us at the back of the room, Sikowitz explained to us that Florence's and my schedules will most likely be changed in an effort to keep me comfortable. Florence immediately agreed and Sikowitz said he would get us an appointment with the main office as soon as he could. Soon he went back to half heartedly teaching the class as the three of us brought chairs together in the far back of the classroom. We set their talking and cracking jokes to pass the time until we had to see him. Every so often I could feel Beck's gaze on me, but instead of returning it I continue our conversation, in fear that if I look up he will see the problem and get dragged into this hopeless drama.
Today is probably the only day that I have ever been truly happy that Beck is not the jealous type. Can you imagine how much worse this would be with a possessive boyfriend watching my every move.
After many jokes and playful threats thrown in my father's direction the fateful time had come.