A/N: So hey guys, this is my Jyler fic :) I hope you like it! I have a couple of ideas in mind for this story and I think it could turn out very interesting. Reviews would be awesome, well, enjoy!
I blinked the next tear out willingly. They didn't stop. And honestly I was past caring. I sat in my room on my bed. Anna had just left. I didn't feel guilty. I did what I had to do to be with Vicki…and now she's dead. The millionth tear fell and I couldn't take it anymore. I pulled my knees up to my chin locking my arms around them. I sobbed for I don't know how long. The pain was just so powerful. It circled through my blood and through every vein in my body. Would these bad things ever stop? My guess was no. This is what I was in for. A life full of darkness and pain. Damn I wish I had the guts to just…end it. Actually go through with turning into a vampire or killing myself. But I couldn't do that to Elena. I couldn't do that to Jenna. I couldn't do that to me. I looked over at my digital clock on my bedside table. It was 4:24am. Had I really been up this long crying? I shook my head. It was uncontrollable. It felt like…like mom and dad died all over again. I sniffled and rubbed my eyes before finally standing off my bed. I was thirsty therefore dragged my feet downstairs and flicked the switch which allowed the kitchen to light up. I opened the fridge and just stood there for a while. Was I really thirsty? Of course I was. All that crying I was bound to be thirsty. I didn't feel like a girl or a wimp for crying, not one bit. I didn't care that Anna would probably never speak to me again because honestly after she turned me or after I had Vicki back I would ditch her anyway. It was selfish and completely out of character but I did what I had to do to get Vicki back. At the end of the day I loved Vicki. I sighed extending my arm to take a bottle of water from the bottom shelf of our fridge and pulled out a stool not really bothered if the screech it released from the friction of it scraping across the tiled floor woke Elena or Jenna up. I sat there and before I knew it the morning sun slit through the back kitchen doors. My eyes were still puffy and red. I expected nothing less. I rolled my eyes at myself, jumping off the seat, leaving the empty water bottle sitting on the kitchen surface and walking upstairs. Today was Monday. Great. I wouldn't go to school. Not today. Today I just needed to clear my head…
I hadn't slept a wink. All I could think about was Vicki. I poured another scotch in the small crystal glass, gulping it down in one go. My chest throbbed as my heart beat at a horrific speed. Vicki was…Vicki was dead. How did that happen? I should have suspected something, but I was too busy being a dick and acting like I didn't care she was gone. My hand hardened around the glass as my anger built. Maybe if I would have been a better boyfriend, things would be different. For one this foreign feeling wouldn't be swirling around my body. A feeling I had never felt before. It was like a vicious mixture of guilt and frustration. It built up to the point where I threw the glass hard at the wall opposite me, watching as the sharp shiny pieces reflected in the light as they eventually landed on the floor. Of course I was past caring about the quality of my surroundings. In fact I was past caring about everything right now. I mean it's not like I loved her, I don't do that. I don't get far enough into relationship to fall in love with anyone. Or so I told myself that. The truth was I was scared. I didn't want to be in a relationship were I didn't have control, were I was the one chasing the other. A relationship were I am forced to become vulnerable, and…soft. It made my skin crawl. That wasn't me, not one bit.
School wasn't an option today and I knew if I did end up there it would just be to sit underneath the football ground seats, not caring if a teacher caught me. So I left my backpack and snatched my car keys from the wooden table on my way out of the house. Driving had always relaxed me, so I couldn't understand why the idea was putting me on edge all of a sudden. I pushed the strange feeling away and climbed into the vehicle. I drove around for a while not caring if friends of my parents or any ass licking elderly women see me. Eventually I found myself at the back of school where all the druggies hung out. I honestly didn't know what I was thinking but I let my conscience be my guide, and apparently my conscience wanted me to skip school with a bunch of stoner losers. A little kid, about 15 years old who was by the way, high out of his mind offered me some weed. It was a tempting offer but I declined. I wasn't that depressed. It was just the aftershock of her death. I'd be over it in about a week. Or so I told myself. I rolled my eyes, suddenly spotting a familiar figure that I hadn't seen in this crowd for a long time now. I strolled over to the younger boy and sat next to him on the dirty floor. He didn't acknowledge my presence at first, but I didn't mind I just appreciated having someone I knew to sit by instead of looking like a complete loner. It was long before I spoke to Jeremy, and when I did it was about the only thing we had in common. The only thing we could talk about.
"They say she OD'd" I said emotionless starring straight ahead looking at, well, nothing. Jeremy was doing the same thing, starring off into space. I thought the kid had ignored me at first, but eventually he replied.
"Do you really believe that?" It was barley whispered. It was the emotion, or the lack of emotion, in his words that made my head snap up and look at his face for the first time. I arched my eyebrow at him.
"Well yeah that's what the police department said…don't you?" I asked slightly frustrated. Sure, not everything the police say is legit but lying about someone taking a drug overdose is like an unwritten rule. You don't do it so why Jeremy would be thinking that is beyond me? The freshman simply shrugged, still not meeting my eyes.
"I believe that if someone overdosed they wouldn't just…magically be buried" He said, swinging his head in my direction with a look of pure seriousness. I shook my head. He was actually being serious. I let out a humourless laugh.
"Yup. You would know right?" I sniped lifting myself from the floor. Jeremy's lips parted, revealing his gritted teeth. I smiled flakily before walking away, only before I was half way through the gang of druggies I felt a hand on my shoulder, stopping me and turning me around brutally and a fist connect with my nose. I felt the blood instantly trickle down as I stumbled backwards refusing to fall down to the floor. A mocking 'oooooh' arose from the curious high kids around us. I raised my hand to my nose and snarled furiously at Jeremy. His chest was dramatically moving as his breathing became unsteady and hard. I shook my head, letting out a humourless breath. I walked towards Jeremy; a fearless twinkle is his eye even when I got right up in his grill. "You wanna try that again Gilbert, huh?" I said through gritted teeth provoking Jeremy by pushing him backwards. Jeremy's nostrils were flared as his chest continued to move in and out. I looked him up and down with a look of disgust waiting for an answer. Instead, Jeremy just walked away, of course not missing the opportunity to bump into me. I rolled my eyes watching the kid walk away. I puffed out hard as I walked the opposite direction of him wondering towards the football field which was just dead. Since Coach Tanner died our football team had been pulled out of all our leagues since we had yet to find a replacement for him. No football team, meant no cheerleaders (unfortunately) therefore the field was now only used for P.E lessons and kids who skip school such as my situation today. Normally I would drink. Drinking numbed the thinking, the pain. It shut everything out and I loved it. It's how I've been raised. I live in a family where showing your true feelings is unacceptable, a family where I'm forced to put on a show. Well I've been putting on a show since Kindergarten and I was tired of it. Since Junior Year I've been playing up, creating an image for myself as a badass jerk. Like I cared. I just didn't want to be Tyler Lockwood, spoiled to death because of his family's heritage. Yes I was spoiled but that wasn't my fault!
If I could I would magically move families within a heartbeat. The fact was sad but true.
Fuck Tyler Lockwood, I thought sitting on the prickly grass by Wickery Bridge starring into the water close by were my parents died. I picked up a white daisy and picked off the petals one by one. I felt guilty all of a sudden. I had disappeared for the whole day, not letting anyone know where I was. It was creeping up to 8:30pm on the spring night. It's probably time to get home, only I couldn't. I just couldn't go back to that room…that room that possesses so many good memories with Vicki. What's worse is I was all cried out, so the pain would be magnified. All this time…all this time fooling around with Anna for nothing. I jumped at the familiar presence next to me and scrunched my face when I realised who it was. I looked away, not bothering to greet Tyler. I picked at the grass beneath me avoiding his presence and eye contact. What the hell did he want anyway? To rub in the fact that Vicki was gone? Or was he just going to insult me like he usually did?
"It's getting late" Tyler said, still standing slightly behind me. I finally turned around, got to my feet and leaned my head back a little in a 'can't be bothered with you right now' kind of way.
"It's like 8:30" I said sharply shrugging. Tyler replied with an eye roll shoving his hands low in his pocket. "What are you doing here Tyler?" I asked. It sounded snotty but I was curious.
Tyler arched his eyebrow at me. "You're asking me? I've been coming here every night for the past, what, eight months or something?" He vaguely replied. Always so vague. It was extremely irritating. But in all honesty I was glad for the company and I sensed he was too. I mean, he would have just walked away if he saw me in normal circumstances I'm sure. Tyler was obviously lonely and so was I. So instead of replying with some cheap joke about it being a free world and I can do whatever the hell I want, go wherever the hell I want. I just looked down at the floor.
"I need a distraction…" I simply said. Something glimmered in Tyler's eyes something that almost looked like concern and sincerity. He let out a small laugh, keeping his eyes on the floor. I shook my head and turned around. Of course he didn't care. He was Tyler freaking Lockwood. He didn't care about anyone except himself. And anyway what was so funny about needing a distraction? I knew that deep down somewhere in Tyler this ridiculous dick head façade was false. I bet he was actually a good person. But that's just my naïve thinking. I always believed there was good in everyone. It's who I was I was on the bridge now about to walk into the other side of the forest. I knew it was unsafe, of course I did. It was the side of the forest no body entered because no body knew there way through it. I was hesitant at first but, seriously who would care if I got lost? And what's the worse that can happen? Like Anna said there's no such thing as vampires so I really had nothing to loose.
It was when I was about to step off the bridge and onto the other side when a warm hand grabbed my arm, spinning me around quickly. I wasn't even aware Tyler had been following me. I looked at his hand, then his eyes. I'm not sure he knew what he was doing anymore than I did. His hand remained locked on my arm and without me (or him) noticing he was pulling me closer to him, as if I was about to commit suicide or something. "Get off me" I said, pulling my arm back. Tyler cleared his throat.
"You shouldn't go there" He simply replied.
I laughed a humourless laugh. "And since when do you care about my safety? Why did you even come after me?" I said pure curiosity in my voice. Tyler looked down as if he was ashamed. I narrowed my eyes at him, my eyebrows coming closer together. This was odd behaviour for Tyler.
"Because…I need a distraction too…"