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Full Summary: "Forever is not a word... rather a place where two lovers go when true love takes them there."- Unknown. It has often been said that one never forgets their first love. What happens when the memory of that love haunts you? Bella and Edward have spent years apart, each living a semi-contented life. When fate unexpectedly brings them together once more can they find a way to heal the wound's they've inflicted on each other and find a way to be happy again?

Thanks to my wonderful beta kryspylove!! Girl thanks for the support and your patience with my nagging. LOL! someone had to put up with it. I'm just glad it was you! ;)!! (awww chessy moment!) anyways on with the story!

Disclaimer: I do not own any twilight related characters. They all belong to SM.

Preface

They looked into each other's eyes, a sea of emotions between them. The clash of every passionate sentiment filled the chilly air, the tension almost palpable and yet neither moved nor spoke, each waiting for the other one to begin. Edward had the strangest sense of déjà vu, as if the same thing had happened between them years ago, when the only thing he had ever wanted stood before him and broke his heart. Would this be the same? Could I survive this once more? Edward thought sadly. No, it wouldn't be the same! I won't allow her. He steeled himself, finalizing his resolve, knowing as he did that even if it was the right decision it would cause him pain.

"Edward? I..." Bella's voice trailed off, her eyes looking sad and insecure, as if she couldn't bear to look at him anymore. She broke the gaze between them and stared at her shoes. A cold breeze whipped past them, she hugged herself into the light sweater that offered little protection against the harsh Seattle weather. Didn't she bring a jacket? His worry betrayed his resolve and once again he felt the need to protect her, to cross the gap between them and take her into his arms and make her warm, to kiss her like she liked to be kissed. To kiss her as only he knew how, but surely a kiss like that would only lead to more trouble, to more people getting hurt. No. Edward thought. Holding her right now would not help his decision become a reality. He would finish this conversation quickly so she could get to her car and hopefully not catch pneumonia on her way to it.

"I... Oh God, this is difficult". She mumbled, sighed and lifted her eyes once more to meet his. Brown and green once more reunited and Bella found the strength she needed to tell him everything she felt. God! I love him… She tried to convince her stupid heart that it couldn't possibly love Edward as much as it did or else she wouldn't have broken his heart. Try as she may, she never could. Her heart was set, marked forever with his memory, regardless of her actions. I don't care if I don't deserve you! I LOVE YOU! Say it Bella! Just say it! Her mind screamed at her but somehow the words were trapped in her throat. Getting lost in the voyage between her brain and her mouth. "I wanted to talk. About us." she finally said, emphasizing the word "us". Before she could open her mouth again, he quickly cut her off.

"Bella, there is really no need to discuss anything." he said in the most formal tone he could think of. Formal is good, formal will keep this from going on to long. "What happened before, well, we can't change that, but let's call this closure, shall we?" His face was a perfect mask of calm. Closure? Idiot! You can never have closure! Not from her, but she doesn't have to now that. "Let's just move forward ok? It was nice seeing you again but this can't…"

"Edward, please! Just let me explain!" Bella pleaded in a panicked voice. No! He can't leave! He has to stay and let me explain! He has to listen to me! Suddenly anger shot through her and she accepted it. It was the safest feeling at this point. "You owe me this! You have to listen to me! LET ME EXPLAIN!" she shouted as she took a step forward. If he wasn't so determined not to show emotion Edward would have smirked at her stance. She was the same Bella, the little kitten who thought herself a tiger. Yes, that was his Bella, even under the fancy clothes and high heels. She was still there. Just like his love for her that would be forever hidden inside him.

"I really should get going." his formal tone once more making an appearance as he took a step back from her.

Anger flooded her mind. "I should have known! Just like always! You leave!" she shouted at him, pointing to him as if accusing him of some crime.

"What?" His confused tone broke the carefully cultivated facade.

"That is what you do Edward! YOU LEAVE! Things get rough and you leave! YOU NEVER LET ME EXPLAIN! You always run away from me. WELL NOT THIS TIME! THIS TIME YOU STAY! THIS TIME YOU LISTEN TO ME! YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO ME!" She crossed the distance between them, her index finder pointing to his chest to emphasize her anger at every "you" she yelled. "You!" she started to shout once more but this time he caught her wrist with a little too much pressure. She would have flinched at the slight pain but the adrenaline rush she felt from his touch was enough to override any discomfort. After all this time, I still feel a shock every time he touches me. The random thought was not lost to her mind.

Looking down at her, Edward's calm mask disappeared from his handsome features. His anger was evident from the force of his grasp on her wrist. If Bella hadn't been as determined as she was she would have been scared of him. "I. Don't. Have. To. Let you. Explain anything." he said through gritted teeth, straining with every word to contain his anger. "You and me, there is nothing to talk about. There is nothing to explain. Everything is crystal clear, just like before. You and me Bella? We're done." His voice was venomously low. If she hadn't been so close to him she was sure she wouldn't have heard. He lightly pushed her, freeing her wrist and the pain washed over her. Not from her wrist, that would be nothing more than a bruise. Her heart however, would never forget those words. Tears betrayed her now, prickling in her eyes. Waiting for her to blink so they could fall and maybe release some emotion to ease her pain. She instinctively wrapped her hand around her injured wrist as she stumbled backwards on her heels. It was a miracle didn't fall.

Suddenly Edwards face changed. From nearby he heard a loud bang but did not pay mind to it. Idiot! You hurt her! Physically hurt her! And you say you love her. Yeah right! Thank God you love her. Just think what you could have done if you hated her…but that's just it…at that moment you did hate her. He could never control his feelings towards her after everything that had happened between them. The fine line between love and hate was so blurry now; there was no way they would ever heal. "I'm sorry Bella, but I'm done." he said in the most apologetic voice he could manage without breaking into tears and mirroring the way she looked right now. Knowing his tears were close he quickly turned his back to her and started walking away, wetness filling his face. He made it to his third step when he realized the bang was thunder and that the water was not only tears but rain as well. It was pouring now and as he was walking away he heard her.

"Please Edward!" Bella was openly crying. "I … I won't survive this… not again…" It was hard to understand her between the sobbing and the rain. But he did, and at that moment his traitorous body stopped. His need to hold her was growing exponentially. He had to force himself to suppress his desire. Mind over matter. Mind over matter. It's for the best. He chanted this over and over in his head. Ironic. He thought about how she had voiced his earlier sentiments. Could it be the same for her then? Not to have me in her life? But before he could develop the thought she spoke again.

"I STILL LOVE YOU EDWARD!"

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