"Bella...Bella" Edward's husky voice sent a shiver up the bridge of my spine as he shifted his weight between his light footsteps searching for me. I held my breath, pushing myself further into the smooth wooden floor, gazing through the small crack in the battered door. I watched him race past me, creating a red line of a blur.
"Bella Honey, where are you?" His voice softer than before, it was almost soothing. I rested my pounding head in between my skinny legs, trying to calm myself down. He will never forgive me; he will never trust me nor want me! What have I done...? My thoughts swirling around my head, and my stomach starting to create small knots.
"Bella I only want to talk, ok...it would be nice if you could tell me some things before you had a storm off"-Edward's voice was sharp and strong-"You know I'm worried about you, you won't talk to me, or let me hold you. You won't let me stay, or kiss you, you won't even let me say the words i love you...Bella please come out, I know your here, I can hear your pulse, and smell your fresh power of blood" His voice soon became a whisper, full of pain and hurt. I cringe as his words finally made sense, he knew I was hiding something, he knows I'm lying to his beautiful face. I am hurting him, killing him. I blew a small soft breath, as my heart ached for the agony that lies had caused.
Slipping my fingers through the crack, I pushed myself through the old door landing in his cold arms. It felt warm there with his arms curled around me, holding every inch of me in his strong arms. He tucked my long brown hair behind my ears and I gazed at him, the memories flashing at me. The memories were so powerful, that they almost felt real, like I was able to touch the smooth outline. ' "I love you" " Bella you are my life now" "So the lion fell in love with the lamb" "What a stupid Lamb" "What a sick, masochistic lion" "Bella, I can't live in a world where you don't exist!" "Your epiphany?" "You love me" "truly, I do" "I know who I can't live without" "Will marry me?"'I smiled as the words echoed around in my mind. I glanced at the heavy ring that dazzled in the blue moonlight that peered through the dark shaded green curtains. Suddenly the smile was erased from my face and was replaced by overflowing tears.
"Bella please tell me what is going, I'm going crazy, I can't read your mind Alice can't see you, and I'm clueless... Bella please?" How can I tell him without his non-beating heart breaking? He will never forgive me. I was so stupid, that I couldn't see the damage I would do to him.
"Edward... don't be mad ok?" I whispered
"I won't I promise" his face became hard unreadable, as his words escaped his lips.
"When...when you left me, when you broke my heart into tiny pieces, I thought were unfixable, I became lonely, and lost. I ran to Jacob for help, for a way to detract my heart from the painful agony, and when I did... I...I felt so healthy, not quite fixed but enough to erase some the pain you left" my voice cracking in the silence of bleak night.
I carried on as Edward was unable to talk; he was stiff, staring not into my eyes but at the shadow on the bare floorboards.
"When you came back, I felt happier than ever, my body felt alive, my heart felt fixed, heavy, like it was never broken, and the missing pieces of me were never missing. You filled my heart, took all its space, but it somehow made room for Jacob too. I kept ignoring that part of me, trying to escape it, telling it, that it just belong to you...and then... then... he came to see me when you were hunting" – I swallowed hard trying to push the lump out of throat out, unsure to whether to carry on, as Edward's face was full of rage, pain, and hate-"He stayed the night, it felt right, at the time, but when the morning came, I regretted it. But every time you went on a hunting trip I felt lonely so I would call him. He would stay, every night till you came back, because I wouldn't let go. He came one night, we shared a moment of a kiss, and then it passed, until I kissed him again and I couldn't let go, I felt so guilty Edward that I couldn't stop"
"And then what?" he spits his words out through gritted teeth.
"We...we...shared...more...more than a kiss Edward...I'm Pregnant "