Chapter One: Meet the Parents

Chicago, Illinois, April 26, 2019

A red Fiat 500 pulled up to a nice Victorian style home, then two people came out of the car, the passenger, a tall, curvaceous young woman in her mid twenties with long, raven black hair and rare violet eyes like Elizabeth Taylor's wearing a pink maxidress and matching flowered sandals and thick black-framed glasses, and the driver, a man about the same height and age as the woman with light brown hair in a short, stylish cut, hazel eyes that looked green in the sunlight, and a well trimmed beard wearing a pale blue shirt with a woolen vest over it, black trousers, and a pair of shiny black shoes.

"You nervous, Meredith?" the man asked the woman.

"A little. I really hope your parents and your cousins like me, Robbie." the woman, Meredith responded.

Hand in hand, they went up the walkway to the door.

Inside the house

The doorbell rang and three men, two of them around their late fifties or early sixties, one slightly short with thin lips, balding and greying brown hair, green eyes, a powder blue dress shirt with a royal blue tie, a pair of navy blue slacks, and a pair of black dress shoes, the other, taller than the other, with black hair peppered with grey and hazel eyes, wearing a black embroidered shirt, a pair of black dress pants, and a pair of slip-on dress shoes, and the other in their mid twenties, with curly blond hair, green eyes, and wearing a grey dress shirt, charcoal colored dress pants, and dark pewter grey dress shoes were scrambling to straighten things up in the house.

"I'll get it!" the young man said, racing to the door, before running into the end table.

"OW!" he yelled as he rubbed his knee.

A young Asian girl with black hair in a short bob, brown eyes, a red tank top, denim capri pants, and flowered sandals came into the room and said,"Tucker, you've always been a klutz. I'll get it."

She opened the door and revealed a man and woman.

"Li, it's good to see you again!" the man said.

"Good to see you, too, Robbie, and this must be Meredith." Li shook Meredith's hand.

"Yes, I'm Meredith Metaxas, and you must be Robbie's adopted cousin, Li Appleton."

"Yeah, that's me, Li Qiao Appleton. That dingbat over there rubbing his knee is my goofy brother Tucker, and over there is my dad, Larry, and my cousin, Balki Bartokomous, Robbie's dad."

With joy on his face, Balki walked over to Robbie and Meredith and said,"Ah, it's my little boochi, Robespierre, oh, and you were right. Meredith is absolutely rodient!"

"That's "radiant", dad." Robbie laughed.

"Awwww, what a cute accent. Sounds Greek or Macedonian to me." Meredith smiled as she shook Balki's hand, only for him to hug her tightly.

"No, I'm Myposian."

Meredith's eyes widened and she said,"No way! My dad's Myposian, too, Ajax Metaxas. My dad came here from Mypos so he could marry my mom, Barbara Jean, then we ended up moving to Mypos as the UN Ambassador for the newly formed United Mediterranean Kingdom of Mypos, Pathos, and Skeptos in 2003 and dad became the American ambassador to the islands."

"So, where's Mom and Jennifer, Dad?" Robbie asked Balki.

Before Balki could speak, Robbie's mother and Balki's wife, Mary Anne, who still looked the same as ever, only with slight silvery grey in her hair color palatte, a pale blue dress, and a pair of matching blue kitten-heel shoes came into the room,"Ohhhh, my baby's home! Is this Meredith?"

"Yeah, and you must be Robbie's mom. He said that you are the most beautiful mom ever." Meredith shook Mary Anne's hand.

"Awwwww! I do try!" Mary Anne giggled.

"So where's Stephanie?" Robbie asked his mother.

"In here, Boinki!" Stephanie called from the kitchen where she and Jennifer were

Stephanie, wearing a red shirt, a pair of black jeans, a studded belt, black boots, an apron covering her clothes with "Hard Rock Cafe" on it, and with blood red dyed hair, a pierced labrum, and "dahlia bites" lip piercings came out with a tray of pastries in her hands.

"Ugh! Stop calling me Boinki! What if I started calling you the Lesbo Goth?"

Oh, that's the best you can come up with, Robbie? It's not like it's a secret that I'm a lesbian and a goth."

"Hey, hey, go back to your corners!" Tucker said, still limping from his trip, and Stephanie shot him a death glare.

"Oh, that smells so good, like..." Meredith sniffed again,"Bibibabkas?"

Stephanie then said,"Yeah, I helped Dad and Uncle Larry make them. I swear, Dad is so silly singing that "Bibibabka Ditty". He said he had to sing it to make sure we made them right so..."

"The bibi in the babka doesn't go boom. I had a similar incident with bibibabkas back in high school. Dad helped me make them and kept singing the "Bibibabka Ditty", then my old neighbor back in North Carolina yelled,"Ya'll quit sangin' that weird immigrant gibberish! This is 'Murica!", so in our haste to keep that crotchety old man quiet, we did it too quickly, and when we finished them, BOOM! Dad and I

got a torrent of creme from 32 exploding bibibabkas in our faces. It was probably the happiest memory of my dad..."Meredith looked sadly.

"You ok, Meredith?" Stephanie said.

"Yeah, I was thinking about my dad. Both he and my mom passed away 2 years ago today. It's weird, you know, I never found out how they died, but I know they did when we left Mypos to come back originally to Washington, DC."

"Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry." Mary Anne looked sadly at Meredith.

"Ok, dinner's on!" Jennifer called from the kitchen.

While everyone was eating the nice dinner prepared by Jennifer, Mary Anne, Balki, and Stephanie, Robbie spoke up,"Oh, I was wondering, since we're all going back to Mypos next month for the annual Bartokomous family reunion and Jamboriki, is it ok to bring Meredith with us?"

Instantly, he closed his eyes, waiting to be shot down by either Balki or Mary Anne.

"Well of course she can, don't be ridiculous!" Balki said with a smile,"She's already half-Myposian, which already makes her family, so of course, Meredith can come."

"Oh, thank you greatly, Mister Bartokomous!" Meredith's southern accent came out strongly,"By the way, who made this lovely ding ding machmud? I haven't had this in years."

"Why that would be my awesome dad." Robbie said,"If there's one thing my dad loves to make, it's ding ding machmud...and snout puffs...and bibibabkas...and sooki-mooki-ping-pow...in other words, pretty much any Myposian cuisine possible."

"This is so great. I worried so much that I would be hated and ostracized by people. It happened to me when I met my last boyfriend's parents. They ended up being huge xenophobes and called me horrible names like..."she lowered her voice,"...half-breed and goat-fu..."

"Oh my goodness!" Mary Anne looked genuinely shocked at the gall of the xenophobic family.

"Yeah. Come to find out, they were involved in..."she lowered her voice again,"...bad things, as in..." she gulped, then said,"...white nationalism, white supremacy, the Alt-Right."

"What?" Balki looked confused.

"Racism, immigrant hate, and extreme right wing politics."

"Oh, that..."