Farewell, 4th Grade

by frostyfreezyfreeze54

In the season seven finale of Thank You, Heavenly, Sparky decides to commemorate his fourth grade experiences by getting the entire class to create a yearbook. However, this ends up getting the attention of the fifth graders, who attempt to sabotage the yearbook's creation and avoid being outshined.

1. Farewell, 4th Grade Script

Thank You, Heavenly

Theme Song: "Let It Roll" by Divide the Day

SEASON 7

EPISODE 28

Airdate: May 29, 2019

"Farewell, 4th Grade" (Season Finale)

#TYH726

SCENE 1

iCarly Elementary School

Interior Lunchroom

Seattle, Washington

At lunch, the kids are talking to each other.

SPARKY: I can't believe this. We're really about to leave the fourth grade.

RK: I know. It seems like just yesterday, we walked out of third grade and didn't want to leave. Now, it feels like we've been fourth graders for twenty years.

WADE: Yup, fourth grade changed all of us. We went from boys to men in this place.

Jaylynn clears her throat.

WADE: Or in Jaylynn's case, from a girl to a woman.

BUSTER: Honestly, I think it's great that we're about to be the seniors in this school. We'll be kings. And everybody will appreciate us for how wise and sophisticated we are.

Buster takes out a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in Saran wrap from his backpack.

BUSTER: Yay, my PB&J didn't get squished!

WADE: Of course, old habits die hard.

SPARKY: You know what? We need to do something special before summer starts. We can't just leave the fourth grade. We need to leave the fourth grade.

JAYLYNN: Should we flip everybody off with both of our middle fingers while we walk out the school cackling with our tongues out?

SPARKY: No!

JAYLYNN: Really? Because honestly, that would have been hilarious.

RK: I'm with Jaylynn. No way can we top that idea, Sparko.

SPARKY: How about we give something back to the school?

RK: No, because it's not the holidays. And I'm not even a fan of giving back during that time, so what are we really talking about here?

SPARKY: I'm just saying, we can't just sit around talking about the good old days. We're not going to be in the fourth grade for long. We have to go out with a bang. Do something huge.

BUSTER: I think the middle finger idea has potential.

SCENE 2

Ike's Ice Cream Emporium

Interior Booth

Seattle, Washington

After school, Sparky has his smartphone out and is currently filming everything around him.

SPARKY: We're in the home stretch of the fourth grade and with so little time remaining, I want to see how everyone feels about finally moving on. It's been a long year. A very long year. Some might say it's felt like eight years, but that's besides the point. RK, where do you see yourself in the fifth grade?

RK: Getting my ass beat something fierce near Dunkin Donuts?

SPARKY: Dude, what are you doing? This is a serious video.

RK: I'm being serious too. I don't think anyone wants to get their ass beat, but that's just how my life goes.

SPARKY: Look, you guys have to work with me here. This video is going to be a documentary about our last days in the fourth grade. It has to be something that people will see in twenty years and enjoy.

WADE: I'm not big on seeing myself on camera, so I'll never enjoy the video.

BUSTER: I think Sparky has a great idea. Give me the mic.

SPARKY: The floor's all yours.

BUSTER: Okay, where do I see myself in the fifth grade? Hopefully, we're all still friends in the fifth grade. I've heard stories of kids who leave fourth grade and all of a sudden, they don't care about anybody. They're so checked out and looking forward to junior high, they're not thinking about anybody but themselves. Hopefully, that doesn't happen to us.

JAYLYNN: Relax, man, that's not gonna happen to us. We're like a gang. Once you get in, you can't get out, and if you try getting out, we'll kill you.

The boys give Jaylynn weird looks.

JAYLYNN: What? All gangs are like that, especially back in Portland. If you weren't loyal, they would think you were a snake and shank you.

RK: Yeah, that's about right. You know what? I think I have something good for the camera.

SPARKY: Oh, great. Lay it on me.

RK: Alright, here we go. In the fifth grade, I see myself not dead, because I refuse to get shanked by anybody.

SPARKY: Wow, that was really something people want to hear in a documentary. Positive message.

RK: At least it's better than getting your ass beat near Dunkin Donuts.

SPARKY: How is this better? You just talked about getting shanked!

RK: Hey, I talked about my refusal to get shanked. That's some food for thought right there.

Sparky groans.

SCENE 3

The MacDougal Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

At night, Sparky is watching TV when Bitch Clock walks downstairs.

BITCH CLOCK: I'm about to grab a beer, you want one?

SPARKY: For the five millionth time, no, because I'm ten.

BITCH CLOCK: You're not going to be ten forever. Besides, they have kids your age killing people in other countries. I'm sure they're drinking.

SPARKY: You know, Bitch Clock, I got a question. Do you remember anything from when you left the fourth grade?

BITCH CLOCK: Oh, that was years ago. The only thing I remember is when that teacher got arrested for diddling kids. And that was back when people didn't even take that kind of thing seriously. If you want, I can tell you some crazy high school stories.

SPARKY: You can keep that on ice for the next four years.

BITCH CLOCK: Why do you want to know about my school days?

SPARKY: Well, the school year's almost over and I feel like nobody cares that we're leaving the fourth grade. We did so much, and I just want it to mean something. I want to do one last amazing thing before it's gone.

BITCH CLOCK: You could get back together with Halley.

Beat.

SPARKY: What?

BITCH CLOCK: I'm just saying, you talk about her all the time. You know what you want, so just let her know you still miss her.

SPARKY: Dude, I'm still with Halley. We never broke up!

BITCH CLOCK: Are you sure? Didn't you guys break up in New York at her birthday party?

SPARKY: No, we just had a fight. What the hell's wrong with you thinking that we're broken up all the time?

BITCH CLOCK: Sparky, you have to understand that at least 60% of what happens to you, I can't remember because of how much I drink. There's a good chance that I won't remember this conversation in a couple hours.

SPARKY: It's amazing to me how you drink so much and you've never been to jail for a DUI.

BITCH CLOCK: Yeah, I was never interested in drunk driving. I tried it once to see what it feels like and I woke up on the counter at Taco Bell. My car was fine, though.

Beat.

SPARKY: The f***?

SCENE 4

iCarly Elementary School

Interior Hallway

Seattle, Washington

The next day, RK is talking to some younger kids near his locker.

RK: Now, you guys have to take our place and elevate. We're going to be at the top of the school, so we're passing you guys the baton to carry on the good name of the fourth grade. But don't worry. We'll be merciful seniors, and we'll give you all the advice and guidance you can handle.

BOY: Um, dude, no offense, but we have no idea who you are.

BOY #2: Yeah, we don't talk to non-third graders.

RK: Oh, that's rich. I'm trying to pass on my knowledge and wisdom so you guys can get ahead, and you reject it? Be gone, the all of ya's.

The third grade kids leave and Wade takes their place.

WADE: I wanted to step in, but I also wanted to see how things would play out.

RK: This is crap, man. I'm trying to get in the spirit, I try to teach these kids the game and they can't even get out of their own way.

WADE: Kids don't appreciate a damn thing. You of all people should know that.

RK: Nah. I don't like to think in generalizations.

WADE: You? You don't like to think in generalizations?

RK: Wade, this isn't a clip show and we're not going down that road. The point is, I need to do my own special thing to kiss the fourth grade goodbye.

WADE: I know. I mean, I could write a great essay about what the fourth grade meant to me, but I had some time to think about it. It's not going to give me the satisfaction I thought it would.

At that point, fifth graders Todd and Veronica are about to walk past the guys.

RK: Hey Todd, my man, what's going on?

WADE: Dude, those are fifth graders. What are you doing?

RK: Wade, Todd and I are old buddies thanks to the play. My name is known by the older kids.

TODD: Hey RK, it's alright. Oh, you're Wayne, right?

WADE: I'm Wade. Please don't try and undermine me, I see right through it.

TODD: What's he talking about?

RK: Hey, you know Wade. He's always five steps ahead of you. Hey Veronica.

VERONICA: Who are you?

RK: I'm RK Jennings. You helped me and the guys put your friend Lisa in jail? Remember, that whole thing where she burned down Ike's and framed us? It was a big moment!

VERONICA: You sure that happened?

RK: Listen, I don't know what you're doing here, but I...

VERONICA: I'm kidding, man, I remember. But damn, that was funny to see you go.

RK: Yeah. Funny stuff. So what are you guys up to?

TODD: We're having a meeting after school to finalize the yearbook.

RK: That's awesome. Hey, maybe Wade and I can give our final input while you finalize.

VERONICA: I don't think that's going to work out.

WADE: Come on, you guys can't be finished with the whole thing yet. We want to do something special since we're leaving the fourth grade.

TODD: You could wait another year then, Will.

WADE: Dude, what did I just tell you?

RK: I can't believe this. I gave my life to Junkyard Dreams. Tickets were flying out of the box office, and now, you're telling me I can't sit in on an important yearbook meeting?

VERONICA: Sorry, man, but change is slow. This is a fifth grade thing. You'll understand a year from now when younger kids are bugging you.

TODD: Yeah, but keep your head up, guys. I had a lot of fun working with you on the play, RK.

Todd and Veronica leave the area.

RK: I can't believe this. I turned the school play into an event, and this is how they treat me?

WADE: Believe me, you're not the first person to try and get a seat at the table. But there's a hierarchy in place and we have to accept that.

RK: Forget that. We have to protest this. We need to resort to civil disobedience. Those fifth graders are gonna pay for what they're doing to us.

WADE: In due time, man. Let's go to lunch.

Wade begins leaving, but RK stays behind. He has a look of disappointment on his face.

RK: I...I broke down barriers.

WADE: Come on, man.

Wade grabs RK by the back of his shirt collar.

SCENE 5

iCarly Elementary School

Interior Lunchroom

Seattle, Washington

Later on, RK is complaining about the fifth graders to the rest of the guys.

RK: I'm telling you, guys, it was traumatic. They just brushed us off. It's like if you gave someone your kidney and they turned around and said, "Thank you so much for the donation. Now smile while I take a warm piss down your throat!"

WADE: You just had to say that at lunch, didn't you?

JAYLYNN: Man, that sucks. But it's not like they took advantage of you. They just have their own thing that they want to keep for themselves.

RK: Well, I could have sat in on the meeting. I could have pitched things. But they can't even let me do that? Now, I'm just a kid with unpitched ideas.

SPARKY: You know what I think? We don't have to take this lying down. The fifth graders have their yearbook, and we have ours.

BUSTER: But we don't have one.

SPARKY: True, but we could.

BUSTER: What if we didn't, and we accepted that fact?

SPARKY: Buster, you're starting to bum me out.

JAYLYNN: What do you mean, we have ours?

SPARKY: I mean, let's make our own yearbook as a way to say bye to the fourth grade. Our ideas, our designs, our rules. And anybody who wants to help out is welcome.

RK: Oh no, forget it. We have to keep our feet on everybody else's neck. You want to work on the fourth grade yearbook when you're not even in the fourth grade, you better pay up.

SPARKY: So, what would you suggest, RK?

RK: I don't know, money? Food, movie tickets? I'm flexible, I just think you need to offer something to me.

WADE: So, are we really doing this? Making our own yearbook?

SPARKY: Why not? This is the last thing we can do as fourth graders. And we'll get everybody involved.

BUSTER: Maybe if our yearbook is more popular, we'll take over the school and everybody will bow down to us.

WADE: But we're already taking over the school in the fall.

BUSTER: Wade, it's called a passing of the torch. To be the man, you gotta beat the man.

WADE: But it's still not...

RK: Dude, you'll be at this all day. If we want the crown, we have to snatch it from those idiots.

SCENE 6

The MacDougal Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

After school, Sparky has called a meeting with the entire fourth grade class.

SPARKY: I've called you guys here for a very important purpose.

MANNY: Whatever it is, could you make it snappy? I'm getting claustrophobic.

JAYLYNN: You should be grateful you were invited here in the first place.

SPARKY: Anyway, since we're going to be fifth graders next year, and we have so many memories in the fourth grade, I thought that we should honor those memories by making our very own yearbook.

There is a lot of excited murmuring from the fourth graders.

SPARKY: Now, I'm not saying that this is going to be easy. But as they say, many hands make light work. I'm not expecting all of you to participate, so if you're really not interested, you should...

MANNY: I'll be there when the book drops.

Manny gets off the couch and leaves the house.

SPARKY: ...let me know as soon as possible.

JAYLYNN: I like it. We're already getting rid of the weak links.

ASHLEY: Sparky, I'm just wondering how this is going to work. A yearbook takes months to make, how are we supposed to do everything in a couple weeks?

SPARKY: I know it sounds like a lot, but we already have the materials. And we already have the talent, we just need to assign roles to everybody. As long as we're all doing what we're supposed to do, we'll make our deadline.

ROBERT: I agree with Sparky. We just need to push ourselves to get to the next level.

Beat. Everyone is visibly shocked.

RK: I'm sorry, who are you?

ROBERT: I'm Robert? I came to this school in the first grade, I've been in all your classes.

RK: Are you sure? Because this is the first time I've ever seen you.

WADE: No, he's telling the truth. I know who you are, Robert, I've just never heard you say anything.

HALLEY: Me neither. You've always been so quiet.

ROBERT: I don't really talk to you guys, that's probably why.

RK: Wait a minute, show of hands, how many kids here do I not know? Make yourself heard.

SPARKY: We're getting off course here! Anyway, now that you guys know the deal, I'm going to leave this sign-up sheet right here on the coffee table. Anybody who wants to help out is welcome. I know it's a lot of work and you guys might be busy, so there's no pressure in...

At that point, all the kids get off the couch in a frenzy and fight for a spot on the sign-up sheet, knocking down Sparky in the process.

SPARKY: Wow, that reverse psychology stuff really works!

SCENE 7

iCarly Elementary School

Interior Principal's Office

Seattle, Washington

Principal MacGregor has arranged a meeting with Sparky, Buster, RK, Wade, and Jaylynn.

PRINCIPAL MACGREGOR: So, I hear you guys are planning to create your own yearbook.

SPARKY: Indeed, we are. If the fifth graders can make one, why can't we?

PRINCIPAL MACGREGOR: Look, I think it's an excellent idea, and I know how much you're going to miss the fourth grade, but I can't afford the resources to fund a completely different yearbook this late in the school year.

JAYLYNN: We know. That's why you're not paying for anything.

PRINCIPAL MACGREGOR: Really? I'm not? I don't have to call anybody, get professional photographers to come down here, arrange meetings with the local publishing company?

SPARKY: No, not at all.

PRINCIPAL MACGREGOR: So, what's the point of this meeting?

BUSTER: I dunno, you're the one who arranged it.

WADE: Look, sir, we know the kind of work that this endeavor requires, which is why we're going completely independent. Anything that involves money will be our responsibility.

RK: Yeah, we just need you to let us sell it here at school. Think of it as iCarly Elementary's first ever underground mixtape.

PRINCIPAL MACGREGOR: I was born in the fifties, what's a mixtape?

SPARKY: We'll explain later. Look, do we have your permission to sell the yearbook here?

PRINCIPAL MACGREGOR: Yes. But I want a 5% cut of the revenue.

BUSTER: It's a deal!

SPARKY: Buster, we just gave away some of the money.

BUSTER: Dude, when that yearbook is done, everybody will want a copy. 5% will be like a stick of bubble gum.

RK: Alright, posse out.

The kids get up from their seats and leave the office. At that point, Karen walks in from the door behind MacGregor.

PRINCIPAL MACGREGOR: I don't know why, Karen. For some reason, I feel so...underutilized.

KAREN: They probably just didn't want to put you out, sir.

PRINCIPAL MACGREGOR: I know, but it's the fact that they don't need me at all. I hate being annoyed with this stuff, but I love it at the same time.

SCENE 8

The MacDougal Household

Exterior Tree House

Seattle, Washington

After school, the fourth graders have congregated in Sparky's tree house to begin production of the yearbook.

SPARKY: Thank you, everybody, for your support. This is going to be the greatest yearbook that our school has ever seen.

HALLEY: Sparky, are you sure it was a good idea to set everything up in a treehouse? I mean, what if it rains?

BUSTER: Halley, come on. It's Seattle, of course, it's going to rain.

SPARKY: Buster's right. I already prepared for that. Check it out.

Sparky presses a button on a remote control. Cut to the outside of the tree house, as it becomes covered by a large tarpaulin. Cut back to inside the tree house.

JAYLYNN: That's sick. It feels like we're on lockdown.

SPARKY: Exactly. An automatic tarp to cover up our base of operations. Nothing gets in, nothing gets out.

Sparky presses another button to remove the tarp.

HALLEY: If I doubt you again, just pinch me.

Jaylynn pinches Halley's shoulder.

HALLEY: Ow! What the hell, man?

JAYLYNN: If Sparky's not around to pinch you, I'll do it. It makes life easier.

HALLEY: For him, not for you.

Halley pinches Jaylynn back.

JAYLYNN: Ah! You have some claws, don't you?

SANNA: While you children keep doing what you're doing, I have something important to show Sparky. These are some sketches for yearbook designs I've been working on. I think you'll find them all interesting.

SPARKY: You could say that again. Sanna, these are really nice. You did all these in one day?

SANNA: Actually, some of them are old designs I've been working on. I always wanted to design the yearbook. That's why next year, I'm not asking to run the committee, I'm expecting it.

ASHLEY: What if I nominated someone else to run the yearbook?

SANNA: Then I'll nominate someone else for my best friend, how about that?

ASHLEY: Ugh, you're so sensitive.

SPARKY: You know what? I can't decide which one we should go with. Everybody can take a vote on which one they want, and whichever one wins will be the design.

RK: Sounds fair. Of course, I feel like if Sanna gets all her designs in there, I should get mine too.

BUSTER: You have a design, RK?

RK: Well, kinda. Since this is like an underground mixtape, I wanted something really stripped down and low-key.

RK shows off his design, which is of a black book that says "The Yearbook" right in the middle.

SANNA: I'm not working on the yearbook if it looks like that.

SPARKY: Yeah, I was expecting something more vibrant.

RK: It's our underground mixtape, there's nothing vibrant about that shit!

JAYLYNN: I kinda like it.

SCENE 9

iCarly Elementary School

Interior Hallway

Seattle, Washington

The next day, Manny and Will are at their lockers.

MANNY: Hey, when you go do your yearbook stuff after school, can you give them this picture of me?

Manny gives Will a wallet-sized photo of himself.

WILL: I don't think we're that far ahead, man.

MANNY: That far ahead? How much work goes into a yearbook? You get a design, put in a thousand pictures, add some corny-ass motivational quotes you stole from some dead poet, and you're done.

WILL: If it's that easy, maybe you should help out.

MANNY: No way, man. I walked out for a reason. If this ship sinks, I don't want my name attached to it. By the way, when you give 'em the picture, you can also slide in my yearbook quote.

Manny gives Will a piece of scratch paper containing his yearbook quote, which he immediately reads.

WILL: "A la mierda todas las perras de lil." What does that even mean?

MANNY: I can't tell you that. But the best part is, no one else will know either.

WILL: Manny, you know there are at least three people working on the yearbook that speak Spanish too, right?

Beat.

MANNY: Still though, campaign for it.

Will groans.

SCENE 10

The MacDougal Household

Exterior Tree House

Seattle, Washington

After school, Sparky is interviewing RK for the yearbook.

SPARKY: So, where do you see yourself at 21?

RK: I don't know. Hopefully, not dead.

SPARKY: Come on, man, I need a quote from you that I can print.

RK: Hey, if I'm not dead by 21, that's a reason to celebrate. Do you know how many ways a person can die? I just read a story about a woman who died choking on fruit punch. Fruit punch, Sparky.

Ashley walks up to Sparky.

ASHLEY: Hey Sparky, are we doing superlatives? You know, best dressed, most likely to succeed?

SPARKY: Nah, I don't think so. If we do it this year, it kinda makes next year redundant.

ASHLEY: Gotcha.

RK: Oh my God. The woman who choked on the fruit punch looked like Ashley too. Man, that was a creepy story.

ASHLEY: Am I supposed to...

SPARKY: It's nothing, just some RK stuff.

Buster runs up to Sparky.

BUSTER: Sparky, I've done it. I've come up with the yearbook quote to end all yearbook quotes.

SPARKY: Great, let's hear it.

BUSTER: Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner, fudge is made.

Beat.

BUSTER: You know, from the song. Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner, fudge is made?

ASHLEY: Buster, I don't think you should use that.

BUSTER: Why not? It's the perfect quote for me. I like milk, I love lemonade, and there's nothing wrong with a good brownie.

RK: I think the reason you can't use that quote is...because...

RK whispers something in Buster's ear. Buster's eyes widen as he hears what RK has to say, and he quickly becomes disturbed.

BUSTER: That's disgusting, I'm going to find something else.

RK: Somebody had to tell you.

Jaylynn walks up to the guys.

JAYLYNN: You guys aren't going to believe this. Manny really thinks that this quote is going in the yearbook. Check this out.

Jaylynn gives RK the quote. He squints his eyes at the scratch paper.

RK: I don't know what I'm looking at.

JAYLYNN: Wait, why did I give it to you? Ashley, check this out.

Jaylynn takes the quote from RK and gives it to Ashley.

ASHLEY: You gotta be kidding me. We're not putting this in there.

SPARKY: What's it say?

JAYLYNN: "F*** all y'all lil bitches."

RK begins cackling at the quote while everyone else stares at him. He sees the looks he is getting and immediately stops.

RK: I believe this quote is highly offensive and does not represent the sensibilities of our fine school.

BUSTER: It's not that bad, right? I mean, if most people can't understand the quote, we have nothing to worry about.

JAYLYNN: It's 2019. Anybody can just Google what he said and then, it's going to be on us since we printed it.

SPARKY: Will, can't you just get Manny to write a new yearbook quote?

WILL: No can do. He said that's the only thing he wants to see under his picture.

SPARKY: Well, we'll just put something generic under his picture. That's what you do when kids don't send in their quotes on time.

JAYLYNN: Yeah, I guess we can do that. But what should the quote say? Oh, how about "Milk, milk, lemonade...

BUSTER: NO!

SCENE 11

iCarly Elementary School

Interior Hallway

Seattle, Washington

The next day, Manny and Will are at their lockers.

MANNY: They're going to choose my quote?!

WILL: I told you it wasn't going to get printed.

MANNY: It was worth a shot! I swear, next year, I'm going to be the star of the yearbook. I'll run it all. It will be called Class of 2020: The Year of Manny.

WILL: What about me? I can't get a credit?

MANNY: Oh, you'll be in there. When you open the yearbook, there will be a picture of you and a caption that reads, "The reason this was even made in the first place."

WILL: That's beautiful, man.

Todd and Veronica walk up to the boys.

TODD: Pardon me, guys, I couldn't help overhearing. What's this about a yearbook?

WILL: The fourth graders are making a yearbook since you guys didn't want us to help you.

VERONICA: But the yearbook is only for the kids graduating. That doesn't make any sense.

MANNY: Things change, girl. There was a time where they didn't let Latin Americans play in the MLB. But then we got guys like Roberto Clemente, and if you have a problem with Roberto, you have a problem with me.

VERONICA: What did I say? How did we get to this point?

WILL: Look, you guys have your yearbook, and we have ours. It's not a big deal.

MANNY: Unless you're some idiots afraid of progress. Are you idiots?

TODD: No, we're not.

MANNY: Well, there you go. Pull your skirt down and stop complaining. Let's go, Will.

Manny and Will leave the area.

TODD: This is bullshit. We need to talk to Principal MacGregor about this.

VERONICA: And tell him what? A bunch of kids we don't know are making a yearbook we're not involved in?

TODD: If we let him know, he'll shut it down. He probably doesn't even know they're doing this.

SCENE 12

iCarly Elementary School

Interior Principal's Office

Seattle, Washington

Todd and Veronica are confronting Principal MacGregor.

TODD: Wait, you knew about this?!

PRINCIPAL MACGREGOR: Of course I did. They told me everything would be done independently.

VERONICA: I can't believe this.

PRINCIPAL MACGREGOR: I know. I was just as disappointed as you guys are right now.

Cut to Todd and Veronica leaving the office.

VERONICA: They're really making their own yearbook. They might end up selling more copies than us.

TODD: Wait, aren't the yearbooks free?

VERONICA: Not for the kids who didn't work on it. Come on, man, you've been with the committee for months now, you should know that.

TODD: Well, we're not about to let them outshine us. We need to stop that yearbook dead in its tracks.

VERONICA: How so?

TODD: We turn the fourth graders against each other. Plant some seeds, make them not trust one another. If they can't work with each other, they won't be able to finish the yearbook and it'll never come out.

VERONICA: I don't know, man. You really want to sabotage them like that?

TODD: We have to. They're not about to do in a couple weeks what it took us all year to do. I'll sooner visit Lisa in jail than do that.

VERONICA: Last I heard, she shanked a couple kids in there.

TODD: Crazy bitch probably licked the shiv after she did it.

SCENE 13

iCarly Elementary School

Interior Hallway

Seattle, Washington

Sparky gets out of his class and is immediately approached by Todd and Veronica.

SPARKY: Look, whatever kid you're looking for, I don't know them and I never will.

TODD: Relax, we're not looking to beat anyone up. We just heard about your little yearbook.

SPARKY: Great. But where is this conversation going?

VERONICA: Well, with all the work you're doing, you probably wouldn't mind helping us finalize our yearbook. You probably know your stuff pretty good.

SPARKY: I don't know, I guess. I just want the fourth graders to have something we can be proud of.

TODD: Look, kid, that's all very noble. But you wouldn't want to create a yearbook that ends up blowing our yearbook out of the water, would you? That's an uneven playing field, don't you think?

SPARKY: No, what I think is that you guys didn't want anybody helping you with your yearbook, but you hate the fact that my friends have our own. Whatever you want from me, you're not getting it.

Sparky walks away from the fifth graders.

TODD: Well, that was a bust. Maybe we came on too strong.

VERONICA: There's no maybe about that. The problem is he's too smart for us. We need to go after kids that we can influence. Kids with thick skulls that will do whatever we tell them.

TODD: Yeah, but where are we going to find them?

Todd and Veronica see Buster and Jaylynn accidentally bump into each other across the hall and laugh about it.

VERONICA: They look a little stupid. Let's work on them.

TODD: Sure, why not? But not now. We need to refine our game.

SCENE 14

iCarly Elementary School

Interior Playground

Seattle, Washington

At recess, Buster and Jaylynn are having a talk with Todd and Veronica.

BUSTER: So, why did you guys want to meet us here?

JAYLYNN: Yeah, I'm a little creeped out.

VERONICA: Look, we know about your yearbook and we just think that you could use a break.

JAYLYNN: What are you talking about?

TODD: She means, we know how hard you've been working and we know that you haven't been getting the credit you deserve.

BUSTER: That's not true. Why would you lie about something like that?

VERONICA: Okay, sure, you guys are working on the yearbook, but you're not getting any recognition for it. It's not like you're the ones that are running the show. You're just being controlled by someone who is.

JAYLYNN: I'm listening.

BUSTER: Well, I'm not. You can't just...

JAYLYNN: One minute. Buster is very loyal, it takes a while for him to see the truth.

Jaylynn takes Buster aside to talk to him privately.

JAYLYNN: Man, don't you see what's going on here?

BUSTER: Yeah. They're trying to turn us against Sparky and I'm not having it.

JAYLYNN: Exactly. So we flip it around on them, and make it worth our while.

BUSTER: You sound like you know what you're talking about, but I don't really understand what you're talking about.

JAYLYNN: Don't worry. Just follow my lead.

Jaylynn and Buster walk back to Todd and Veronica.

JAYLYNN: So I think what you're trying to say is that Sparky is taking advantage of us, and he's just using us for his own selfish needs?

TODD: Pretty much. And you two deserve better than that.

VERONICA: So with that being said, how would you like to help us finish our yearbook? You'll definitely get credit for that.

BUSTER: We will? That sounds great. But I'm not convinced.

JAYLYNN: I agree with Buster. I'm just not where you guys want me to be with this.

TODD: What, do you want us to pay you?

JAYLYNN: I don't need money. I need something way better than that.

VERONICA: Like what?

JAYLYNN: Cajun fries.

VERONICA: Cajun fries?

JAYLYNN: You heard me. There's a Popeyes a few minutes away from this school. I can't get enough Cajun fries, so I want as many as you can get me.

VERONICA: Yeah, but how many?

JAYLYNN: Ugh, this girl doesn't understand. You see this, right?

BUSTER: I see it. She sounds a little slow.

JAYLYNN: Indeed. I think you might need to put on your listening ears for this one.

VERONICA: Okay, okay. After school, we'll go to Popeyes and get you all the Cajun fries we can. What about you, blondie?

BUSTER: Two packs of tropical Skittles. No, scratch that. Three packs of tropical Skittles and a pack of wild berry.

TODD: Are you guys sure this is what you want?

JAYLYNN: No, we're just some stupid kids who don't understand what's going on here. Yes, we're sure! After school, we'll meet you guys here and you give us the stuff. Then tomorrow, we'll help you out with your little autograph thigamajig.

VERONICA: Our yearbook.

BUSTER: That's what she said. Seriously, listening ears, am I right?

JAYLYNN: I know. We'll see ya around.

Buster and Jaylynn walk away snickering. Todd and Veronica are left confused.

TODD: They seriously just want candy and Cajun fries?

VERONICA: I swear, I don't remember us being so weird in the fourth grade.

SCENE 15

The MacDougal Household

Exterior Tree House

Seattle, Washington

After school, Buster and Jaylynn are talking to the rest of the fourth graders about the events. Buster is holding his Skittles and Jaylynn is holding her Cajun fries.

SPARKY: They tried recruiting you guys too?!

JAYLYNN: Yeah. They seriously thought we were just some dumbass kids who would be happy to help them.

ASHLEY: Wait, if you guys knew what they were up to the whole time, why did you make demands?

JAYLYNN: Ashley, free food doesn't come every day. Cajun fries, anyone?

HALLEY: I'll take some. They're not spicy, are they?

JAYLYNN: If you're asking if Popeyes Cajun fries are spicy, you shouldn't be eating food at all.

SPARKY: This is ridiculous. Why are the fifth graders trying to ruin our yearbook?

WADE: Doesn't it make sense? Because we went into business for ourselves, we've disturbed the hierarchy. Now, those fifth graders are going to do whatever's necessary to maintain their dominance.

SANNA: I've been working nonstop for days so I'm a little under the weather. Could you slow that down for me?

RK: He means they hate the fact that we don't need them, so they're going to destroy us from within. That way, they can have the yearbook all to themselves.

SANNA: Oh, right. Those bastards!

RK: I should have seen this coming. Why didn't I try warning you guys? I could have done something.

SPARKY: RK, no one's blaming you for this. We didn't know this would happen.

BUSTER: I don't know. He's always the one going on about stuff like this.

RK: Well, now that we know, it's time to strike back. We're about to show those fifth graders that their tricks won't work on us.

WILL: So, what's the first thing we should do? Declare war?

RK: No, that sounds stupid. We need to make sure our side is clean. No Benedict Arnolds in sight.

WADE: So, nobody working for the fifth graders undercover?

RK: Exactly. No informants, snitches, or backwards agents to make us look weak or expose our secrets. Wait a minute, Sanna, you said you were under the weather?

SANNA: Kinda, yeah.

RK: Oh no, it's already started!

SPARKY: What are you talking about, RK?

RK: Biological warfare. It's a classic move. The fifth graders probably planted something in Sanna's drink to make her sick and infect us all with the virus.

SANNA: The virus? Man, I just have a cold.

RK: A cold is like swine flu for kids. But don't worry, Sanna. I'm not letting you quit the team.

RK frantically searches through his backpack, finds a surgical mask, and wraps it around Sanna's face.

RK: There. Now, you can keep working with us and nobody has to get sick.

SANNA: Let me get this straight. You had a surgical mask in your backpack.

RK: Correct.

SANNA: And you had this just sitting in there because...

ASHLEY: Sanna, I think at this point, you should stop asking questions and just go with it.

RK: See? Ashley knows why I am the way that I am.

SCENE 16

iCarly Elementary School

Interior Hallway

Seattle, Washington

The next day, the guys are talking by their lockers.

SPARKY: So, any of you finished your essay yet?

WADE: Not me. I have some serious writer's block and I have no idea why.

RK: Are you guys crazy? We can't talk so loud in the hallway!

JAYLYNN: We're in the hallway. Who the hell's gonna hear what we talk about?

RK: The fifth graders. If they're really about that action, they're going to track us like the FBI. They probably have hidden cameras pressed up against these walls.

BUSTER: Holy shit! Don't worry, RK, all we have to do is be careful of what we talk about. So, guys, I was at the store yesterday buying some grape juice, and then I went home to do...nothing. Not a single thing worth bringing up.

RK: Excellent work, Buster.

SPARKY: Okay, I've had enough of this. I'm not going to stand here and live in fear of what the fifth graders might do. I vowed that I would finish that yearbook, and it's getting finished.

WADE: While I agree that RK is going off the rails as usual, he has a point. The fifth graders are just going to become more relentless and target everybody until they find someone they can control.

JAYLYNN: Then we just have to be one step ahead. They try messing with us, we try messing with them.

SPARKY: I like it. What did you have in mind?

JAYLYNN: Today, after school, we get all the fourth graders to meet the fifth graders while they're working on their yearbook. We lay down the law and tell them to leave us alone before we get nasty. And if they don't comply, we get nasty.

RK: An invasion. That could work.

SPARKY: It sounds dangerous, but I don't think we have any other options.

BUSTER: You know what, guys, I really want to talk about that grape juice because it was incredible. You have to try it, it comes from Welch's.

SPARKY: God, I love Welch's.

BUSTER: I know, they have everything. Drinks, jelly, fruit snacks. And with the summer coming up, you need to have some tasty juice in your fridge.

RK: Are we planning an invasion or shooting a commercial for HSN?

BUSTER: We could do both.

SCENE 17

iCarly Elementary School

Interior Technology Room

Seattle, Washington

After school, the fifth graders are in the school's computer room finalizing their yearbook. Todd is doing some sketches on a whiteboard.

TODD: Okay, I was thinking this is what the foreword could look like from MacGregor.

KENT: I love it.

SADIE: Why do you always agree with Todd?

KENT: Why do you always ask stupid questions?

TODD: Come on, guys, we need to get this done. The publishing company's waiting for us.

At that point, the entire fourth grade class walks into the room, causing an awkward silence.

KENT: Is this the part where we all die?

TODD: What the hell's going on here?

SPARKY: I'm just going to make this short and sweet. I know fourth graders and fifth graders don't get along, but that doesn't give you the right to try and sabotage our yearbook. So, I'm...no, we're...we're giving you a warning. Leave us alone, or there's going to be a problem.

VERONICA: Wait, so you two over there just played us for free food?

JAYLYNN: Took you long enough to figure it out.

TODD: Well, what if we said you're crossing a line making your yearbook, and you're stealing our moment from us? And what if we said that you guys constantly think you run the school with all the stuff you've done, and we're tired of it? And what if we told you to step aside, or there's going to be an even bigger problem you're not ready for?

SPARKY: And what if we told you to stop talking like that?

TODD: Look, bottom line, you're making a mistake having your yearbook come out, so rethink your decision.

SPARKY: I don't think so. Guys, let's show them how much we're rethinking it.

At that point, the kids begin destroying supplies and ripping up pages from yearbook copies, causing the fifth graders to start blocking the physically smaller kids.

*to Will* MANNY: Yeah, I don't even care anymore that my quote didn't make it.

VERONICA: What the hell are you guys doing?!

A bunch of shouting and arguing leads to the fifth graders getting in a brawl with the fourth graders, as books get thrown, fists fly, and chairs get knocked over. Principal MacGregor walks in during the fight.

PRINCIPAL MACGREGOR: What in God's name is going on here?!

RK: Um...an invasion?

SCENE 18

iCarly Elementary School

Interior Principal's Office

Seattle, Washington

Later on, Sparky and Todd are being seen by Principal MacGregor. They are both visibly injured.

PRINCIPAL MACGREGOR: This is deplorable. You're two of the most nonviolent kids I know, and you resort to this?! Instead of working together, you wasted time delaying your yearbooks! What do you have to say for yourselves?

Beat.

SPARKY: Well, it was all Todd's fault.

PRINCIPAL MACGREGOR: Ugh, Sparky...

SPARKY: It's true. Do you really think I wanted a war? I don't care about the fifth grade yearbook. I wasn't trying to steal anybody's thunder or try to get attention. I just have a lot of memories in the fourth grade and I wanted to celebrate them.

TODD: Yeah, of course. Play the good guy so people don't see what you're really about.

SPARKY: You need to shut up! If you let RK and Wade help you with your yearbook, none of this would have happened. You can't treat people any way you want and then get mad when they don't want to put up with it.

PRINCIPAL MACGREGOR: I'm going to go grab some juice. In the meantime, you guys work this out amongst yourselves. Karen, could you take a Juicy Juice out of the fridge? It's that kind of day again.

Principal MacGregor goes into his private room.

TODD: You know, when me and Veronica told your friends about the yearbook thing, we weren't trying to be assholes. It's the fifth grade yearbook, no one else has ever done it except for fifth graders.

SPARKY: I get that it's tradition, but that's why we'll never see eye to eye. I've been in this school for years and even now, I still feel like I barely know you guys.

TODD: Maybe that's our fault. But what are we supposed to do now? That yearbook might not come out on time after what happened.

SPARKY: I don't think that's going to be a problem.

SCENE 19

(The instrumental to "Stay" by Nas plays in the background)

At night, Sparky is working on his end-of-year essay entitled "What The Fourth Grade Means to Me" in his room. Interspersed are scenes of the fourth graders and fifth graders putting their differences aside to help each other finish their respective yearbooks.

SPARKY (V.O.): What does the fourth grade mean to me? It means that I've had the greatest experience of my life. It's strange to think that these random kids you see every day can become your friends, but we all became a family. We became a community. Everything we did was as a unit. Whether it was celebrating birthday parties or bringing back War Games or traveling together, you were never alone in the fourth grade. It didn't matter who you hung out with. We might not have always gotten along, but we were bonded just by seeing each other all the time. I know we have one more year left with each other, but I feel like the door is already closing. In a couple years, I'm probably going to stop talking to a lot of these guys. But right now, that doesn't matter. The memories will always be there. And at the end of the day, there's still time to make a little more.

The montage's last scene is of the yearbooks arriving to the school in tandem, and the fourth and fifth graders selling their books side by side in the hallway.

SCENE 20

iCarly Elementary School

Interior Hallway

Seattle, Washington

On the last day of school, kids are finishing the process of cleaning out their lockers and saying goodbye to each other. The main five are watching the events unfold.

BUSTER: I don't get it. Why am I so emotional?

WADE: Because we're finally leaving the fourth grade. It's really over.

RK: Guys, I just want to say from the bottom of my heart, I love all four of you. You're like my second family, and if this really is the end, then I want you to know that you'll always be in my heart.

Beat.

JAYLYNN: Bro, what the hell are you talking about?

SPARKY: We're not graduating. We still have the fifth grade coming up.

WADE: And we're going to hang out all summer long.

RK: What are you doing? Can't you just pretend that this is the end so we can start fresh tomorrow?

BUSTER: I'm gonna miss you, RK.

Buster hugs RK and begins getting choked up.

BUSTER: You were the best roommate anyone's ever had.

RK: Thanks, Buster. But be strong. We'll always have the memories.

*to Sparky and Wade* JAYLYNN: What, are you two made of stone? I'm going to miss you guys too!

RK: Then get in here, you little weirdo.

Jaylynn joins the hug that Buster and RK are sharing. Sparky and Wade shrug and join the hug as well. Todd and Veronica walk by as they hear the kids crying.

TODD: You guys know this is going to be your school next year, right?

RK: We know that. Doesn't mean we can't pretend that this is it.

VERONICA: Fourth graders. Look, we just wanted to thank you guys for helping us out with the yearbook. Had we let you do it in the first place, we wouldn't have had that stupid fight.

SPARKY: It's okay. We were happy to help. And honestly, our yearbook was really kicking our ass so thanks for helping us out.

TODD: No problem. We've been going around giving the fourth graders something. We had a bunch of extra shirts printed up that we can't wear, so we thought, "Why not let you guys have them?"

Todd and Veronica give the guys T-shirts celebrating iCarly Elementary's graduating class of 2019, with the signatures of all the fifth graders on them.

BUSTER: Commemorative T-shirts!

WADE: Why are you guys giving us these?

VERONICA: A tradition. When we were about to leave the fourth grade, the fifth graders gave us their extra T-shirts. Maybe next year, you guys can do it too.

TODD: Just remember to take care of this school. We know you're going to do a great job.

SPARKY: Thanks guys, this really means a lot. Good luck in junior high.

TODD: Good luck in fifth grade.

Todd begins walking away.

VERONICA: Oh, by the way, just some advice. When you're planning out the senior trip, make sure you turn in the money on time.

JAYLYNN: Why would we not turn in the money on time?

VERONICA: Just make sure you do. Our senior trip got cancelled because no one had the money, so we had to go bowling. And we couldn't even go bowling because the trip was rained out, so...turn in the money on time. Okay, bye!

Veronica runs to meet Todd at the double door entrance.

RK: Yeah, we should definitely turn in that money on time.

SPARKY: No kidding. Alright, let's get out of here, get some ice cream.

JAYLYNN: I don't want any damn ice cream. Let's go get some Chinese.

Beat. The boys gasp at Jaylynn's suggestion.

RK: Jaylynn Hernandez, how dare you?

JAYLYNN: Nah, I'm just playing, let's go to Ike's.

SPARKY: Ahhhh...

The kids chuckle at Jaylynn's joke and play with her hair as they leave the school. The camera does not follow the kids as they leave and they are only filmed from the back. The doors close, and the screen slowly fades to black.

("Encore" by Eminem featuring Dr. Dre and 50 Cent plays over the end credits)

©2019 ANDERSON PRODUCTIONS

THE FINAL SEASON STARTS ON SEPTEMBER 29