The air was chilly in the early hours of morning. The sun hadn't risen over the mountains yet. The sky was fading from a dark blue into indigo and the few remaining scattered stars winked above.
Edward woke with a jolt from a vivid nightmare. He sat up and tried to steady his rapid breathing. As his eyes adjusted to the scarce light he looked at his wife Winry. Her sleep was tranquil and he decided not to wake her up. He got up as quietly as he could and walked to the porch and took deep breathes of the calming air.
His thoughts replayed his and his brothers journey, he never regretted the day he gave up his alchemy to get Al back to normal, but Edward couldn't deny that he missed being able to use alchemy. It had been such a big part of him that he felt empty without it.
When the world says, "Give up,"
Hope whispers, "Try it one more time." (A quote Trisha taught the boys)
Out of habit he clapped his hands together and touched the railing. Even though he had not expected anything to happen it still stung in his heart. Every time he saw Alphonse use alchemy he felt envious, he tried to ignore it but it sometimes gnawed his insides. It had been his choice and he would have to live with it. It was alchemy's First Law of Equivalent Exchange; fair and square. He let his hands fall to his sides and closed his eyes; deep in thought.
Just then a small hand curled around his fingers. The touch was delicate yet pressuring. Edward saw his son Jasper looking up at him both curious and alarmed. "Why is daddy sad?"
Edward smiled and lifted his son and held him against his chest, "Why are you up this early?".
The little boy doodled on his fathers shirt. Just then Edward remembered something an old man had advised him on his journey;
"What you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment. And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new. Right now."
Inspired by those words Edward headed towards the distant cemetery to his parents graves. The tombstones shone silvery white in contrast to the murky landscape. As he looked at his own son he sincerely hoped he wasn't a bad parent like his own father had been.
Yet sometimes, forgiveness means accepting the humanity of the person you're trying to forgive. Forgiving is all about letting go-of anger, resentment, sorrow and the victim feeling. Jasper sat on the ground and chatted happily to the tombs and re-arranged the flowers. When Edward left the grave he sighed in relief because he was free from another burden.
A while later Edward and Jasper returned to their house. He tucked his son into bed and sat next to it for some time.
"Daddy?"
"Yeah?"
"Don't be sad, you have me,mum and Ann. Plus, you have tonnes of friends! And a brother who always helps you."
Edward was momentarily taken aback my these words. Now, more than ever, did he believe children had some unusual ability to decipher peoples worries.
"Of course. I had a rough past but don't worry, I'm over it. I would be lost without you guys."
Jaspers face lightened up at those words, he couldn't stand seeing his parents worried.
After a while the child´s breathing became heavier and he fell fast asleep. As Edward made an attempt to leave his son fiercely held unto his finger.
"You really are as stubborn as I am,huh?" Edward laughed and ruffled his sons hair. As he watched the sun rise in the horizon, he felt extremely blessed.
Peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. Peace means to be in the midst of all those
things and still be calm in your heart