As per the request of writeallnight
"You'll be sorry. My son and daughter-in-law will be looking for me and they killed Osama bin Laden, just think about what they'll do to you." Glaring at him, she continues to talk as if she's not being held at gun point by who she thinks is the strung out junkie that she's always running out. "You know what else?" She squints at the soft lighting in the bar. "My son really needs a hair cut."
"Huh?"
There's a distinct click behind the guy's head. "Drop it."
"What makes you think I won't shoot her first?"
Kensi steps out into the open, aiming her gun at the guy. "Because if you do, you'll be leaving here in a body bag. You don't want that, do you?"
Roberta lets out a hearty laugh, because well...she was right. "HA! I told you, Carl. You're such an idiot. My kids always win, just ask bin Laden. Oh wait, you can't!"
He lets out a huff, what the hell was he thinking. Maybe next time he'll just hit a bank, it'll be much less painful than this. "Okay. Okay, just make her stop talking." He lays the gun at his feet, stands back up with his hands in surrender and is taken off by Sam and Callen.
"Mama, what happened?"
"Well I was leaving my Naked Yoga class-"
"Gahhh! Mom, seriously?"
Kensi bites her lips, trying to suppress her laughter but fails horribly. The fact that her Mama B was held at gun point and in the end the perp was begging to be arrested, paired with her husband's unfortunate embarrassment couldn't stop the smile from spreading to her face.
Her daughter-in-law begins to untie her hands as her son unties her feet from the chair. "As I was saying, before your husband so rudely interrupted me." She turns towards Kensi, full attention on her now. "I was leaving my Naked Yoga class and decided to come back here to do inventory when that jackass pushed a gun to my back and forced me inside. I was able to hit the alarm button on the keypad before he noticed and well…..you know the rest."
Roberta stands up, wrapping both her arms around them and pulls them in a for a hug. "I love you two."
"We love you, too, Mama B."
She smiles at the feel of both their lips on her cheeks as they both give her a kiss. When they pull back there's a beat of silence until…"Excuse me, Sam?"
The muscular agent smiles as his mother from another brother?, walks up to him. "What can I do for you, Mrs. Deeks?"
Deeks sees his mom playfully swats at Sam's shoulder. "How many times do I have to tell you to call me Roberta?"
Oh dear god. He's so focused on the scene playing out before him that he doesn't register his wife walking up beside him until she loops her arm through his, lacing her fingers together.
"Do you think Sam will let you call him dad?" She looks up a him, shit eating grin gracing her face.
His brow furrows at his wife's words. Turning to look at her, horrified look shining in his blue eyes. "Don't even joke like that." He shivers at the thought of his mom and the man who he considers a brother together. "And now that image is ingrained in my brain."
She throws her head back, laughing at the image of her husband walking up to the senior agent and calling him dad. "Oh, my god. The image that just popped into my head would probably terrify you then."
"Laugh all you want, baby, but technically he would be your dad, too."
That halts her laughter. Calling Sam, dad? No thanks. She mimics her husbands earlier movements and shivers as if a cold streak of ice runs through her body. "Now that you mention it…." She trails off, dragging him over towards Crazy Bertie.
"Alright, mama. Kens and I are gonna take you to get something to eat and then take you home."
Sam sends the couple a look of gratitude, relief shining in his eyes.
Everyone starts funneling out of the bar, the Deeks' soon follow behind, locking up as they make their way out the door.
Kensi loops her arm back through her husband's as they start walking down the sidewalk to their next destination.
"Martin, I told you if you want a new daddy then you have to let me live my life."
"First of all, I never said that I wanted a new daddy. Second of all, even if I did want a new 'daddy', you don't go after someone who your son considers a brother."
"What can I say, he's a tall glass of chocolate milk and mama likey."
"Mom, seriously, stop it."
Kensi can't help and laugh at these two nutballs. They're both ridiculous, but she wouldn't have them any other way.
As they continue to walk down the sidewalk towards the restaurant, she lets one of her hands drop and grabs one of Mama B's. "You may be nutballs, but you're my nutballs."
Roberta turns to the brunette, soft smile on her face, love and happiness shining through her eyes. "Damn straight."
Maura said it first.