Pre-Script notes: This will be a series of oneshots that will be following some kind of time line order. I want to focus on the characterization of Gundam Wing while exploring the themes that are found throughout the show. If a solid plot (like a big bad or a general story line) forms I hope to follow it to completion or complete an arc. This is more to get me writing again, something I really miss.

Even though it is called The Darlain Diaries it will follow all the cast members and their own POVs. At the start of each chapter there will be some pre-script notes and at the end postscript explaining anything I might feel is unclear or what/when things are being referenced.

As ahead of time, I'm sorry for any grammar mistakes I might make I hope to catch them before uploading the chapter but as I am human I may not do that.

For this chapter the point of view is mostly from Dorothy and Relena. It will explore the odd similarities between Heero and Zechs as well as Relena and Trieze. Also, it will explore the way both Relena and Zechs use the Peacecraft title during times of war and what it actually means to be a Peacecraft.

Another note if anyone is willing to Beta-read I would appreciate the advice and service!

Revised 8/11/12

Darlain Diaries

Chapter 1: The mask of a Peacecraft

The year was AC 197 and peace had found a way to blossom once more. Everything had fallen back into a strange limbo since Christmas but the people of both earth and space were far from complaining. It was thanks to this limbo that Relena Darlain the time to spend with her longtime friend and once enemy Dorothy Catalonia. The two of them were seated in her sun room with a chess board in-between. Relena had on a thoughtful look as she stared down at the board. It was a complex game as with anything dealing with the platinum blonde. Her honey hair hung loose around her shoulders dripping down towards the board she leaned over. Finally the 18-year old moved to take her white pawn to the next spot on the board.

"Oh Miss Relena, do you really think that is the wisest move?" Dorothy chided as she toyed with her latest captive, the bishop. "Off to send the pawn to war? Not your favorite knight?"

The Vice Foreign Minster's eyebrow twitched in irritation, the friendly game was of course never that friendly. "This isn't a war Dorothy; it's a friendly game of chess."

"But Miss Relena! This is the prefect platform for a war….after all it all boils down to the same level don't you agree?" Her voice was cool but the distain was clear and sharp. Dorothy played with the bishop in her hand and stared at Relena with hidden amusement.

"I'm not even going to ask what you mean and just let you explain." Relena sighed and rested her chin into the palm of her hand as she leaned against the table. "Tell me Dorothy how does it boil down to the same level?"

Oh Relena swore that the woman's eyebrows moved on their own as she took the hot air right out of her.

"WELL if you are going to be like that Miss Relena how about a different topic?" In a quick move Dorothy moved her next piece into play. She noticed quickly the change of airs in the former White-Fang member. The woman across the board was now out for blood- or in this case Relena's pride. "How you and Trieze are just so similar it is terrifying!"

Now that caught the diplomat's attention, eyes narrowing Relena waited for her to go on. How was she like that man? He craved war, sought after it, created it! It was because of some sick fascination with that man did Une murdered her father and set her down the path of self-destruction.

That however was a lie.

One Relena wasn't going to admit to ever thinking either. Instead her mind reeled and went to justify herself against the accusation.

After all it wasn't until she found her own purpose, her own strength, that she set forth her own direction in life. That direction oddly enough matching up with Trieze's master plan, after all she came to that startling conclusion during the Eve Wars.

"Oh now I have your attention, well Miss Relena it is your move." Dorothy waited smugly until the next white piece found its new location before continuing, "You are most like him….you both wanted, or want peace, each too stubborn to change your current path wherever that led you. Also…you are most cruel to your knights." Picking up her black knight she placed it right before Relena's.

"Cruel?" Relena asked almost too stunned. How was she cruel? Wasn't this about their political ideals? Large blue eyes blinked a few times as she tried to recover.

"Oh yes most cruel. Your poor knights….they see you above everyone else, a queen…a king…no a god above men! How they idolize you, and yet you ask them to see you as a human." Pale slender finger toyed with the knight making it sway on the tile. "You want them to love you beyond their capabilities. Yet, they can't because you above all must stand above all else even their own life - for you are their life."

The young politician's eyebrows knit in confusion lips parted to defend. "You are talking as if I am not human Dorothy but I am. Don't I have a right to…I don't know live my life?"

"Oh but Miss Relena, angel of peace, the wartime queen, you are not human in the eyes of the world. Haven't we spoken like this before? This is why I love you." The pale finger finally left the knight singling the end of her move. "Trieze was so cruel to his knights who loved him, but Zechs and Une both knew his goals and his wish for peace. In that end they followed him to his death….I wonder if you will be the same. Ask Heero to kill you….for the sake of peace. My I wonder if he will would." The woman purred almost thinking about it. Dorothy leaned forwards interlocking her fingers with each other and the look in her eyes chilled Relena. Even as the sun shone brightly into the room she couldn't shake the ice gripping her heart sinking into her veins.

Relena's mouth opened and closed a few times trying to form her next words but only finding a weak response instead. "I still don't understand how I am like that man….."

Rolling her eyes and breaking the chilling contact Dorothy tsked her finger at the young woman in front of her, "You are both born of high standing, and both are so cunning with your words and have the ability to sway even those of strong wills and minds to your ideals. If you wanted to, you could create your own 'specials' but isn't that the preventers Miss Relena? Your own little personal army…all ready to protect you and the world from the scary terrorist that threaten peace." There was a smile of pleasure as the woman who would one day become the Titanium Queen of earth watched Relena's face reach the same conclusion.

She nearly forgot it was her move and she hastily moved her rook onto a tile. "I would never use them like that…..ever Dorothy and you know that!"

"Oh you may not mean to but that's what is different about you and Trieze, he created the specials in order to achieve his peace where yours only maintain it. Mind you in a non-oppressive way, after all the angel of peace cannot have an iron fist." Moving her next piece into play she smirked with victory. "Check and Mate miss Relena." The iron fist would come from her of course. The platinum blonde was anything but soft.

All Relena could do was stare down at the board as Dorothy once again played her like a puppet on a string. It would be her to lead to those conclusions but at the same time she couldn't see the differences between herself and Trieze now. They were too strikingly the same and it caused her stomach to twist and turn with anxiety.

"…and I always find it interesting you adopt the Peacecraft name in the times of war Miss Relena." That caused her head to snap back up. "You only become a Peacecraft when there is battle….what does that mean about your family? After all Zechs is the same, you both use your birth names as weapons against the world. You use peace as a weapon." Her head was spinning at the second fold of Dorothy's mental attack hit true.

Licking her lips Relena stood, "I think it is time we end our time together Dorothy."

"Oh but Miss Relena I was having so much fun chatting to you about the past." Blue eyes sparkled with the chaos she had caused. "But if you insist, I'm sure you have more documents to read and review." Giving a mock bow the forkbrow woman left the sunroom and left the young Darlian with her own dangerous thoughts.

Relena fell to her plush chair as the door clicked to a close and stared out into the stunning sunshine. Her right hand rested limply in her lap while the left pushed back her bangs from her eyes.

What did it mean to be a Peacecraft? What did it mean to be a Darlian? And also what did it mean to be both of those things? It was something she thought had answered by the end of the war. She thought she understood her place in the world and even the woman she wanted to be. Yet it was Dorothy's snide and cruel observation of her character threw Relena into a state of confusion.

There was no hoping in arguing with herself to deny the characteristics she shares with the Creator of Oz. It would be a battle she'd lose so instead she focused on her current dread.

Would she ask Heero to kill her if she became a risk to the world? Would she follow in Trieze's path to protect peace? Her legs felt weak and her head light. She directed her eyes away from the sun room to the board in front of her shifting slightly to grab the last knight.

The answer was yes. If she wanted anyone to kill her she wanted it to be Heero. She didn't want it to be some nameless or faceless assassin who reason or cause was misguided. After all, assassinations didn't bring peace but she wouldn't want to live if she caused that peace to crumble. Relena sighed and laughed half-heartedly at the thought. It was cruel. It was extremely cruel to ask Heero to be the one yet she would still do it regardless. She would beg him if she had to. If taking her own life was impossible it would have to be him.

Dorothy was right yet again.

And she hated her for it.

There was a knock at the door and her head jerked towards it. Her hair blinded her for a moment as the door opened without a sound. A young man that stood at roughly six foot entered the room. His eyes were a striking Persian blue and his hair untamed looked at her with a questioning glance. The Preventers jacket was unzipped and she could see the simple white shirt he wore under it. The man's arms were crossed as if waiting for an explanation.

"Hello Heero." Relena greeted him with a slow smile.

The man Heero Yuy came and left at his own whims. Some days he would act as her shadow other days he would be in space or earth doing whatever mission for peace he could find. The Preventers were an organization for soldiers who could not settle down in peace. It was for those trained for war and found no rest in peace.

The perfect solider was one that never rested. That never could rest despite the wish to.

The pressure of his stare only grew stronger as he waited for an explanation.

"My isn't it a lovely day? Maybe I should go walking in the gardens…." It was one she wasn't willing to give. Relena was sure Dorothy looked like the cat that had the mouse, bird, and even the lizard for lunch. And, she didn't want to be the one to tell him why she looked so pleased leaving the estate.

After all, she didn't even want to agree to the things that she-devil said.

"hn."

OH that was a bad sign, that hn meant he didn't really care. In the language of Heero Yuy there were many types of Hn. Actually Relena had on mental record a count of 26 types.

03: The short hn while working on something usually meant shut up and leave him alone- mostly directed at Duo Maxwell and herself.

14: A longer hn while in conversation meant he understood what you were saying and most of the time agreed with you – that was saved and used mostly with Trowa Barton, Chief Une, and yes herself during times of political advice.

11: The hn that was deep and had a hint of agitation meant that it was time to stop what you were doing and get to the point. That one was again used mostly on herself and sometimes with Quatre Winner and almost all of the time with Duo.

Type 11 was currently the 'hn' he was using.

Relena glanced at him sheepishly before sighing, "Dorothy said some things that I wasn't too happy to hear but…I have to agree with." She slumped against her chair and closed her eyes suddenly tired. Her hair draped over her shoulders catching the reflection of the light. Even tired and slumped she remained elegant. "Heero….if I asked you to kill me would you do it?"

There was a sudden stillness in the room now, one caused by Heero Yuy. It was amazing the effect he had on people. No matter how amazing he told her she was, Relena thought that he was the amazing one. He gave her strength to keep going, to be who she was. But now she was losing sight of that person, Relena was fading away due to the weight of her titles.

Sometimes, though however rarely "just Relena" came out when Heero was around. The 18 year old girl who was in love and who wanted to be loved in return. The girl who would follow a boy to the frozen hell of the south to give him a message. The girl who was now looking up at him with big eyes and a hopeful expression that just maybe, maybe he would cross the room and hold her in his arms.

"Relena…." There was tightness in his voice as he tried to understand what the woman meant. He had countless of times threaten to kill her of course but each time he fell short. Each time his finger refused to pull the trigger, so why was she asking this of him now?

"I only say that because…." Her eyes looked away from him, focused on a distant thought and returned to him. "…..never mind don't worry about it Heero." There were a few moments that the two simply stared at each other. Each unwilling to let it go or let it be explained. It was a battle of wills the two fought using only eye contact. As youths Relena would often chase after him using her words to try and keep the runaway close but as her own problems skyrocketed she learned to let him go. Instead she focused on revenge; she followed the ideals of her biological father, became queen, and lastly found some balance between a realistic peace and her own ideals. It wasn't until the last stage did Heero actually come to her, and stood beside her. Since then their relationship was filled heated glances, energized (one sided) arguments, and respect for what the other has to do. It lacked one thing though.

It completely and utterly lacked romance. Yes she loved him, and it wasn't the same infatuation of youth. When she was younger she needed him, she needed to be like him. Maybe it was her own Peacecraft blood that made her reckless. If one was to ask what was the most striking quality of a Peacecraft it would be their often suicidal tendencies to fulfill their objectives.

The proof was her brother and herself.

She really felt sorry for Noin who for the most part looked after two very suicidal siblings. Yet it was Relena's own disregard for herself that pushed her into the battle zone and all of her other accomplished in the past two and a half years. It led her to every step of her journey and more often than not it led her to Heero.

It didn't help he had his own homicidal with a splash of suicidal tendencies as well.

"I think….I think I need a holiday." The 18 year old Vice Foreign Minister mused softly as he still waited for an explanation.

"Hn."

Oh number 17….he didn't think that was very amusing now did he?

"I will have a week off soon and I think it is about time I started to act…well like a human again Heero. I feel like I've become…disconnected." She watched his reaction carefully. "I'm not asking for your advice or permission either, I'm just talking out loud."

Heero's face remained neutral almost bored. He stood still at the door arms never becoming uncrossed or relaxed. She pondered what he was thinking or if he found this at all irritating.

Yes….their relationship was seriously lacking romance despite how they cared for each other.

And again Dorothy was painfully right.

Heero didn't see her as a person.

And really he was the last thing she needed at the moment.

ooOooo

Heero did not appreciate Dorothy's appearance early that morning. The woman was chaos it gave her pleasure to cause it at Relena's expense. Yet for some strange reason Relena enjoyed the woman's company or at least tolerated it.

The former gundam pilot leaned against the kitchen counter while the two played their games in the sun room. Again he was in-between missions and found himself at Relena's side. There was something peaceful about the two story modest mansion that made the solider in him feel at ease. This was the closet place he could call a home to return to. It was one that always welcomed him with open arms, never questioned his coming or goings, and most importantly lacked anything to do with the violence of the outside world.

The young man reached for a red apple that sat in a bowl near him and brought it to his mouth. The sweet tart juices leaked into his mouth as he thought about the woman only a few rooms away from him. Relena once again welcomed him back and let him assume the position of her daily guard. The clingy girl he had met two years ago was replaced by an independent woman who refused to lean on him more then she needed to.

Actually, she didn't lean on him at all anymore.

It was a strange thing but the stronger the bonds of peace grew the more he felt like he was leaning on her for support. It was a world he could have only dreamed of but never actually thought he'd be living in. So as the missions decreased and the terrorist grew fewer in number he found himself more and more here by Relena's side.

The prefect solider was losing his place in life and was following his emotions for guidance.

Heero took another bite of the apple when he heard the sharp click of heels heading towards him. With a dull look he watched as chaos waltzed into spacious kitchen.

"Well if it isn't the prefect dog." She crossed her arms smirking. "You should go tend to your master I believe I may have upset the poor princess."

With a flick of his wrist the half eaten apple went into the trash. "Do you ever get bored of causing trouble Dorothy?"

"Why Yuy, you should know me better than that, Trouble is what I cause…also I believe my darling Relena has become stale. What would the world do if she lost herself? No, no. I need her as sharp and as fresh as they day she became queen." The jaw of the young man tightens at the remarks but he moved past her to the sun room.

"Show yourself out." It was cold maybe even threatening. Quatre should have killed her when he had the chance but the blond pilot was far too kind. Instead Heero opened the door without much ceremony and watched the girl he would follow into hell. She looked worn. Blue eyes were dull lost in thought in her thoughts. Her hair was lifelessly around he.. Yet, he still found her beautiful and it was another image that was burned into his mind.

Without reason, she became his angel on the battlefield. At times near death it would always be her face he saw, in confusion he would hear her voice, and even when he doubted his actions she would be the one to create clarity and cement his next course of action.

Crossing his arms he waited for her to acknowledge him, at times like this he felt like he became the chaser instead of the other way around. The moments past between them and even fewer words.

He stared.

She dodged.

He continued to stare.

She caved and answered the unspoken questions in a roundabout way.

He looked at her with disapproval.

She said something that caused him to be taken back.

Kill her? His mind reeled in on itself as she toyed with her hair and looked away from him. She was now muttering on about taking a vacation. All he could do with acknowledge it with a 'hn' as he searched for meaning in her words.

Why would he kill her? It was true he had said he would kill her – a few times actually – and came close to it just as many. Yet, a world without her caused his world to shake and crumble at the thought.

Had she forgotten the vow he made? He would no longer kill. And for the most part he kept true to the vow, his missions hardly ever dealing with human life or the loss of it.

It was why he kept seeking refuge here.

"…and so I was thinking that I could go see Quatre on L3. I really do miss him….I think I'll call him tonight and see if he can accept me." Relena was still blabbering on about her vacation he was ignoring for the most part.

" …and then I'll send a report to Une….I would have to fly by private shuttle though it would be nice to take a normal one. " She moved to the small desk located in the room and pulled out her digital planner. " Let's see…I could leave by Sunday at the latest. " Somehow he tracked her movements with his eyes though his mind was still lingering on that strange question. The moment to question about it had past. All he could do was stand quietly and act like he was listening.

"…yes that'll work out fine….and Heero?" Their eyes met again and this time he felt his gut clench. He was not going to like what was coming next.

"I want you to stay here. Or at least…wherever you are when you aren't with me. I plan to go alone." Or as he heard it ' with anyone but you'.

Post Script Notes:

Well there is the finish of the chapter! I hope you enjoyed it. I feel at the end of Endless Waltz Heero's and Relena's relationship becomes reversed. He is the one chasing after her (even to save her from a seen or unseen enemy) while Relena rushes off to fight old men with stubborn ideas in stuffy rooms. The battle for peace takes place where Heero can no longer fight so his only option is to give support and being supported by Relena.

In turn Relena becomes independent learning to lean on her own strength but often thinking of what Heero would do- or even approve of.

Their relationship is based on commonalities, differences, and respect for how the other fights for peace. It completely lacks anything romantic yet they can't be without the other.

I also found that Trieze and Relena often mirror each other in the series; Trieze may have once been like Relena but took the path of being a man- in this case a warrior to find peace. In Relena's case she took the other method of being a diplomat and in the end supported the world Trieze had already started for her. In a funny way she became the next Trieze of the new era.

Next Chapter:

What does it mean to be oneself? What does it mean to be free? Or do the bonds of the world tie everyone and everything together. Is it the red string that binds us by our hands or by the throats?

Heero and Relena have always been fated to cross paths time and time again but for the first time Relena finds herself questioning just what pulls them together. What sort of gravity did the two of them have?

In an effort to find out Relena escapes to space and into the arms of an old friend.

90% complete just need to go through it!