Title: Repressed Desires
Character: R. Castle
Summary: Castle thoughts after 3XK Killer, Jerry, analyses him.
He was right, I was drawn to death, and it intrigued me. It was almost as if though it was my drug of choice, something that I just wanted to be a part of.
I was terrified that he had so easily been able to see into my darkness, the part of me that I kept hidden from everyone.
He had done it so easily, but maybe he had been able to do it because we were alike in some ways and that was terrifying yet exciting as well.
I surrounded myself with murder on a daily basis, thought about it all the time, I even wrote and dreamt about it.
And I had the desire to do it, there were so many ways that I wanted to do it. I had thought about it for years already, but I had managed to not give into the desire.
But it was hard, so very difficult, it would be easy to do it and get away with it. Shadowing Beckett had taught me a few things over the years, and I knew I would be able to get away with it if I planned it right.
And that was such a temptation; I had so many scenarios flying around in my head, different victims I would love to murder.
Strangle, shoot, stab, beat to death the possibilities were endless.
But I had to resist the desire, the almost overwhelm and constant temptation.
I had to.
FIN.