Marvel's Rocket and Groot: CASTAWAYS
You may know him as one of the Guardians of the Galaxy and that there ain't no thing like him, except him. You know his name. You're favorite wise-cracking/ass-kicking raccoon, Rocket, IS BACK! Both Rocket and Groot find themselves stuck in the last place he'd never want to be: the backwards, no-class pit of a planet called Earth! But all changes when they meet a lonely human boy named, Grey, asking for help after his parents suddenly went missing. Be prepared for some hilarious one-liners, bad-luck situations, and learning the true meaning of self-discovery.
Cast:
Bradley Cooper as Rocket, a member of the Guardians of the Galaxy who is a genetically-engineered raccoon-based bounty hunter and mercenary, and is a master of weapons and battle tactics. He teams up with young boy, Grey Palmer, to help him rescue parents.
Vin Diesel as Groot, a member of the Guardians who is a tree-like humanoid. He is Rocket's father-figure and partner. He creates a bond with human boy, Grey Palmer.
Jacob Tremblay as Grey Palmer, a 12-year-old human boy whose parents disappear and appears now to be the hunted. He meets Rocket and Groot who agree to help him find his family and get them back.
MPPA Rating: PG-13 for sequences of sci-fi violence and action, mayhem, language, and brief suggestive content.
Hello Guardians of the Galaxy fans of all ages! My name is Stooge Man. I'm a writer and I love imagination. Somehow, the Guardians of the Galaxy has suddenly become a BIG liking to me. I enjoy reading the comics and novels about these outlaw superheroes on their adventures to protect and serve the galaxy. So I thought I do something for a change and work on something I also want to write about. As you know, this story is about Rocket and Groot who take a vacation on Earth when all of a sudden a little boy, named Grey, is in danger. The two unlikely heroes must do everything they can to help Grey get back to his family again.
Rocket and Groot are my favorite characters in the Marvel Universe because…well…they're not like all humans, but they make excellent heroes/outlaws. It's a kind of doing the good and doing the bad at the same time.
Anyway, the first chapter is up! So please sit back, relax, and ENJOY THE FIRST CHAPTER!
The only one of my kind, I'm many things: a pilot, an expert thief, a weapons enthusiast, a tactical genius. A hero who chose to use his skills for good as a Guardian of the Galaxy. But I'm not a raccoon, though. REMEMBER THAT!
Five years ago, I survived that purple-genocidal maniac's snap. He wiped out half of the universe and I lost my entire family. I was the only Guardian left. I was alone…or at least I thought I was. But I was teamed up with the Avengers. The Earth's Mightiest Earth Monkeys…or what the hell they went by anyway. We had many things in common…but SHIT, I don't want to start that emotional stuff right now. Anyway, we traveled back in time, we got back the Infinity Stones, we thought a massive battle between Earth and Space…and we WON! And I got back my family again. I never thought I'd miss them jackasses so much: Quill, Groot, Drax, and that bug-eyed chick with the antennas. We were once again: THE GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY!
However, a couple months later, during a cataclysmic battle on Xandar, the Guardians of the Galaxy lost the Benatar ship, which I loved deeply, in part for its ability to take ME far away from Earth. I blamed the Guardians' leader, Peter Quill, for stranding them, and some of the others were very pissed about less important things. We broke out into an argument and decided to go our separate ways…
But that doesn't mean, the Guardians of the Galaxy, were history. We promised to keep in touch with each other and if an emergency arises, we would assemble again. But as of right now, I'm very much on my own…with Groot anyways…stuck on this shitty wasteland called Earth!
My name is Rocket.
And this is my story…
I should probably take you back how it all happened, five months earlier…
One moment we were arguing, the next they were being flung from side to side in the spaceship, caroming off the krutacking walls in a mad version of table tennis, a game from Earth that moron, Peter Quill, remembered only vaguely from his useless childhood. Now I'm sure you all know who Peter is. You know…the guy that never shuts his mouth, listens to music a lot, but also gets us into lots of awesome adventures (mostly the bad ones, between you and me). Did I forgot to mention that no one, in the whole krutacking galaxy, knows his outlaw name? He calls himself Star-Lord…I call him Star-Munch!
"Well Star-Much, once again you've got us all into another fine mess" Rocket yelled
"It wasn't my fault," Quill had protested, sparking the argument
The rest of his companions glared at him—other than teen Groot who was playing on his little game player, just minding his own damn business.
"Not your fault?" Rocket asked incredulously. "How do you figure that? You let MY ship get blown into krutacking pieces, dammit!"
"How was I supposed to know that our client would prove to be such an ingrate? We rescue her youngest son and from space pirates, and did so before they could harm a hair on his teeny-little head I threaten his virtue" Quill said
"That might have carried more weight with him if the pirates were the real threat to his virtue," Nebula said drily.
Now you all remember, Nebula, right? You know, the beautiful blue robot lady, the once adopted daughter of that big purple ugly-face: Thanos. The one with the blasters at her sides that showed signs of hard use and that belied her youthful/robotic appearance. The one I spent with 5 years after joining the Avengers. Also she's always serious. I'm pretty sure, you all know, who the hell I'm talking about. And if not…you're just as dumb as Quill.
"Not quite what they mean by setting a thief to catch a robber," Nebula said
"Did you say our client's son was a robber?" Drax asked. "I did not know this"
Rocket slapped his paw over his forehead, facing the clueless bald-headed warrior with a snarl.
"No, you idiot," Rocket snapped, "It's a proverb. By the way, you need to get that brain of yours checked out! You're probably still brain-damaged from the snap"
"I don't understand," Drax rumbled, a hint of anger in his voice
Of course you know Drax, here. The one who's always crazy and intimidating at the best of times, the one who's green skin marked with the scars of countless battles, and the one whose massive body that was bulging with muscles. He may seem happy but he sure is the one to make you whiz in your big-boy pants, and right now, this dude was still and will always be downright SHIT-SCARY!
"…And if you call me an idiot again, I'll squash you, rodent!" Drax threatened
Rocket snarled at him and was ready to attack, but Nebula broke in before Rocket could say anything further inflame the situation.
"It's an old saying, Drax. It means that the best person to catch a robber is another thief, because they know what to look for," Nebula, gently explained. "I was trying to make a play of words that insinuated sending Quill to save our client's boy was like sending a thief to catch another thief because…"
"Because of what?" Drax asked
"…because" Nebula said, until she sighed, "These things are never funny when you have to explain them"
"Maybe you should try using plain English on him, Nebula. Because I'm pretty sure the only language Drax can translate if from is from IDIOTS LIKE HIM!" Rocket yelled
Drax made a ferocious glare and he grasped the raccoonoid by the fur, raising him up to the height of where his head was. Rocket growled and snarled as he began lashing out his sharp claws at the bald-headed warrior. Drax only smirked by the sight considering how big, strong, and muscular he was than Rocket. Rocket was indeed a little fella. Not so tall like the rest of the Guardians. He may not have the height of a Guardian but he's got the genius of one.
"Put me down, you over-sized nincompip!" Rocket roared
"The word you're preferring to is nincompoop" Drax corrected him
"Well, someone's finally correcting their grammar!" Rocket said, "Where'd you learn to correct…MORONVILLE!"
"I ought a murder you, rodent!" Drax threatened
"If your guts had brains they'd able to do the thinking for you. But if your brain were the guts they do much worse than that. In other words…YOU DON'T HAVE THE BALLS!" Rocket teased
"Why you little…" Drax shouted
"Bring it, moron!" Rocket shouted, baring his fangs at him
"Stop it!" Nebula yelled, getting in between the two and pushing them away
"Will you two cut it out!" Quill yelled
"I'm sure we don't have any balls to play with on the ship" Mantis said, cluelessly to what the rodent had meant to say to Drax
"Not for playing, ya dumb bug. For kicking!" Rocket confirmed
Rocket extended his leg backwards and with all his might he kicked Drax directly in his groin. Drax seemed confused for a moment when he looked down but he didn't feel a thing. Irritated, Rocket continued kicking Drax in the groin, but nothing seemed to break the Destroyer. It was almost like he felt no pain at all.
(ROCKET SHOUTING, SNARLING, AND CUSSING)
(KICKING IN THE GROIN CONTINUES)
"Are you finished yet?" Drax asked
"I am Groot" said Groot, who was only keeping eye contact on his game control device
"I don't care if it tires me. Everybody breaks when a weak spot is hit" Rocket told Groot, still kicking
"Quite the example you're setting for Groot, Rocket" Quill said
"I DON'T CARE!" Rocket yelled, still continuing to kick Drax in the groin
Quill rushed over and grabbed a hold of Rocket's leg, stopping the kicking. The raccoonoid tried to take a bite out of Quill's arm but missed. Quill then wrapped his arms around Rocket preventing him from trying to hurt Drax. Rocket snarled, clawed, and cussed as if he were acting like a wild animal in front of the Guardians.
"QUILL. LET. ME. GO!" Rocket shouted, with anger
"NO!" Quill yelled
"I'LL RIP YOUR KRUTACKING EYES OUT!" Rocket threatened
"Rocket, you need to stop acting like this right now" Quill told him
"And why should I?" Rocket asked, yelling
"Because if you don't, I'll…I'll…I'll kick you out of my ship" Quill stammered, trying to make a threat
Rocket stopped for a brief moment before bursting out of laughter, "HA-HA-HA, you wouldn't dare throw me out of here"
Quill released his grasp from Rocket waist and the raccoonoid jumped onto the table, "I mean it, Rocket. Your behavior has been inexcusable. Ever since we got the team back together again, you've been all ticked off about everything. I think I might know what you really need. You need a vacation"
"That's preposterous" Rocket said, "I never take vacations. Vacations are for wusses"
"I' am Groot" said Groot
"No and NO, I don't need one" Rocket confirmed, "And furthermore no one on this ship is going to make me take one!"
"I call for a vote. AGREED! All those in favor of having Rocket take a vacation, raise your hands" Quill announced
Nebula, Drax, Mantis, and even Groot raised their hands up. Quill turned back smiling while Rocket frowned and accepted his own defeat by slapping his disconcertingly human-like hands over his forehead.
"Damn you, Quill" Rocket muttered, angrily
(45 minutes later)
Two sets of bags heavily dropped to the floor with a loud bang by the pod. It would seem that Quill wasn't kidding about Rocket having to go on vacation. At first, Rocket thought it was a joke. But seeing what was happening now, he couldn't believe it was actually coming true.
"Quill, c'mon man, please don't do this to me" Rocket begged, "I promise I'll be nicer"
"Relax, buddy. Don't think of this as being kicked out of the Guardians of the Galaxy. Think of it as trying to find somewhere to settle down for a while…you know, take a load off your feet" Quill assured
"But I don't do that relaxing stuff" Rocket confirmed, "What if the Galaxy needs my assistance or something?"
"That's why, WE, Guardians will take it from there while you take some time off" Quill said, "Look, I understand what you've gone through since what happened with Thanos. You know, most of us being gone and all that. And you've done so much to get us all back together again. I'm very grateful for it. But these last few months have not been the best for you. I think I know what your problem is: is that you're too worked up and, we, think its best if you need to get your head back together after you're settled down"
Rocket threw his disconcertingly human-like hand at Quill, "Ahh, that's a bunch of krutacking bologna!"
"Rocket, the team and I, just want what's best for you" Quill assured, "It's what I want, what's best for you"
"Kicking me out is what's best?" Rocket questioned, frowning
"Technically it's what Quill wants best" Mantis pointed out
Quill laughs nervously and gently elbow bumps Mantis in the shoulder causing her to flee away. Rocket crosses his arms scowling at Quill with the look of anger on his face. Quill sighed and kneeled down to be at the same height as his little companion.
"We'll give you a month. That's 30 days" Quill explained, "Find somewhere nice, book a reservation, and lay low for a while. It'll get your mind off on more personal things"
"And what if a situation comes about and I'm not there to help, you losers, guard the galaxy?" Rocket questioned
Quill pulled out a pager from inside his coat pocket and he gave it to his little friend, "We'll call you in case of an emergency"
Rocket shook his head, in defeat, and accepted the pager from his goof-ball leader and placed it on his belt buckle.
"Sometimes I just want to punch you in your perfect teeth, Quill" Rocket said
"You're gonna love it, I promise" Quill assured
"I take your word for it but I can't promise that anything will be good about it" Rocket replied, "By the way, where are you sending me?"
"The one place I used to call home…Earth" Quill answered
Rocket's eyes widened with horror, 'WHAT!"
"Why not? You'll love it. You've been there before" Quill said
"Yeah, back when I was helping the Avengers. I know what Earth's like down there. And furthermore I ain't going back to it! NEVER!" Rocket shouted
"You made plenty of friends down there. You forget who was also on Earth with you" Nebula pointed out
Rocket scoffed, "Says from a talking toaster"
"Watch yourself, rodent" Nebula warned
"DON'T CALL ME RODENT!" Rocket shouted
"Would it make you feel any better if I call you a raccoon" Nebula said
"NO!" Rocket shouted
"No patience, no respect, no loyalty" Drax said, "You need serious help"
"The only ones who need help are you krutacking idiots!" Rocket said, "I'm not going to Earth alone"
"Who said you'll be alone?" Quill asked, before he tugged the teenage-walking tree by the arm and gently pulled him to the front. "That's why Groot is going with you"
"I' am Groot?" Groot said, shockingly
"Yes, you are" Quill told him, "Think of it as a family vacation"
Rocket slapped his disconcertingly human-like hand over his forehead and sighed, "Great. First, you get rid of me and now you're getting rid of Groot, too"
"You could use some of that father-son bonding. After all, you and Groot have been through a lot together. I would never break you both apart" Quill replied
"I' am Groot" Groot said, shrugging his shoulders
Rocket knew Quill was right. After all, five years ago he did lose Groot to the decimation of Thanos's snap; and five years later, he and the Avengers brought everyone back from the ashes. Groot would've been a lot older by the time but instead he came back the same age. The raccoonoid sure missed having his buddy around and he figured that this trip should or will be the right thing to bring them both together again.
Rocket sighed in defeat, "Ok, Quill. You're right…I'll take a vacation"
Quill smiled, "That's more like it"
"1 month/30 days/on Earth" Rocket said, "I'll learn to like it"
"I' am Groot" Groot said, making a 'ahem' sound
"I mean, 'we'll,' learn to like it" Rocket muttered, making the teenage-talking tree smile. "C'mon, Groot. Let's go"
"I' am Groot" Groot said
"Alright, but make it quick" Rocket replied
Groot turned to Quill, smiling. Quill smiled back until Groot raised his tree-like foot backwards and with quick reflexes kicked the half-human directly in his groin.
(GROIN CRUNCH SOUND)
"Ooh!" Quill cried
Quill grasped both his hands on his big boy parts when suddenly his knees gave up on him and he hit the floor, then falling backwards on his backside, groaning in pain.
"I' am Groot" Groot said, sticking his tongue out at Quill
Rocket laughed under his breath only so Quill couldn't hear him. The raccoonoid slapped his disconcertingly human-like hand on the teenage-tree's shoulder with a smile.
"Now that's kicking balls" Rocket said, gleefully. "Learn that, Quill"
(DRAX LAUGHING)
"Not…funny" Quill said, weakly
"You must have soft balls" Drax said, laughing. "No wonder the rodent couldn't break mine. Because yours are softer!"
(DRAX CONTINUES LAUGHING)
Quill points a finger at Groot, "When your trip with Rocket is done. No electronic games for another month. Do you hear?"
"I' am Groot" Groot said, in a mimicking-childish tone
"Hey! Watch your language" Rocket warned. "C'mon let's go"
Rocket and Groot entered the pod with all their baggage and belongings. Both companions buckled their seatbelts as they waved their goodbyes to the team. Quill trembled a bit but was able to land on his feet to wave the goodbye.
"Safe trip, guys" Quill said
"There better not be a scratch on my ship when I come back, Quill" Rocket warned
"Don't worry. I won't let anything get blown up" Quill assured
"That's why I still don't trust you with it, Star-Much. And I never will" Rocket replied, giving his leader the middle finger
Quill frowned and threw his hand at his little friend, in disgust. The pod door closes and soon they were set course to Earth leaving the remaining Guardians of the Galaxy to take things from there. At first, Rocket was still agitated about after being thrown out of his ship. However, he did thought of the taking a vacation part. Quill did mentioned some good advantages about Earth. But yet again, the raccoonoid thought about the disadvantages the most.
Rocket sighed, "This is gonna be a long vacation, bud"
"I' am Groot" Groot replied, nodding in agreement
Well, there you go! First chapter is done! What will happen next? Stay tuned for more because Rocket and Groot's adventure is about to begin!