AN: I wrote this ages ago, after reading MoA, when I was having serious Leo feels. I'm not even sorry.
Warnings: Language. And also, Jason is an ass in this, for all intents and purposes. I love him in the series, but for this fic, he had to be a jerk.
Disclaimer: Still not Ricky :P
Anyways, enjoy!
When did you become the loner?
That thought is usually present, nowadays. It's unusual if it isn't. You don't know when you became so pessimistic, but watching Piper and Jason, and Hazel and Frank, and Annabeth and Percy, you suddenly realize that you have no one and nothing, and why do you even try anymore? You don't think it's even worth it.
It's probably never been worth it. Because you're not Jason and you're not Frank, and you're sure as Hades not Perseus fucking Jackson.
You're just Leo Valdez, and Leo Valdez is nothing compared to Percy and Jason and Frank.
Okay, so maybe you are something compared to Frank, and you make sure he knows it, but nonetheless it's Frank that Hazel wants to be with, and that's what all this is about, isn't it? It's that he has her, and Jason has Piper, and Percy has Annabeth, and you have no one.
These days everyone talks to you like you're their therapist.
As you're sitting there tinkering with wiring (what are you making, anyways, and how long have you been at this? You don't even know anymore), Piper spills her guts and you don't know what to do.
She tells you that she's worried, about Jason and Reyna. She's never had to worry, not since you defeated Gaea three years ago, and when she asks if you're listening you sit down the bird (that's what it is, a bird, you can see now, but you don't remember deciding to build a bird and you don't think you've done it right, because it just looks so wrong and broken, and it doesn't fit in with everything else you've made and you just want to throw it across the room but you don't because Piper is right there and she's waiting on you to answer and you need to fucking answer her already, Valdez) and you turn to her and you say sincerely, "I'm always listening to you."
But you don't want to seem like a sap so you tack on, "Beauty Queen," and you know it drives her crazy because she rolls her eyes, but it's okay because she smiles, too, and she doesn't smile much anymore and she should because it's beautiful and if she wasn't dating your best friend, you'd kiss her right now. But she and Jason are your best friends, so you don't, and you assure her that she doesn't have to worry about Reyna stealing Jason from her because Jason only has eyes for Piper.
When Jason leaves Piper for Reyna two days later, Piper gives you a broken look, and you can't believe Jason would do this to her because she's Piper, and Piper is gorgeous and sweet and funny and she makes the world a better place, and all you can think now is nine words, on repeat in your mind.
I can't believe Jason would do this to her.
It's only two years since you defeated Gaea, and you and Piper are still best friends, and Piper and Jason are still the "it" couple at camp.
But you're still a seventh wheel and nothing can possibly change that, so when Artemis' Huntresses come to camp, you don't even bother flirting with them.
Mostly you sit with Piper, Jason, Hazel, Frank, Annabeth, and Percy, and even though Thalia joins you guys because she misses her little brother, who is older than her now, and she's best friends with Percy and Annabeth, the other Huntresses ignore you guys and stay far away from any males.
You tinker with some scrap metal, only half paying attention to the conversation. You look up when you hear the name Luke Castellan roll off of Annabeth's tongue and your hands stop moving and you sit still and wait to see what Annabeth has to say about him, because you've heard his name before and there's been so many times that you've thought you would've gotten along with the guy because he was a loner, too.
"The gods have been talking about bringing him back," Annabeth explains, forever the demigods' source of information from Mount Olympus since she's been remodeling for the past two years. "He was a hero, and they think it might be handy in the future to bring him back.
Percy is confused, like Percy is always confused, and you almost smile because it's crazy how well you know him, now, when he used to just be Annabeth's boyfriend, that guy who went missing and Annabeth went to Hades and back to find.
"Why would we need him?" Percy asks, and no one can give an explanation that satisfies him and eventually the conversation drifts to more mundane subjects and your hands start moving again, pulling wires and pushing buttons and your friends' conversations are just background noise, now.
It's not until Hazel's head hits your shoulder when she falls asleep that you stop tinkering and just sit still and listen, because you don't want to wake her, don't want her head off your shoulder, and if sitting still for an hour and listening to mindless chit-chat is the only way to keep this moment alive, then damn it, that's exactly what you're going to do.
It's half an hour later that Frank notices that Hazel drifted off and like a good little boyfriend, he scoops her up and takes her back to the Hades cabin, and he doesn't come back.
You sit there by the fire with the other demigods and pretend that it doesn't hurt as bad as it does that you're still alone and still a seventh wheel, and you're beginning to suspect that this was the price Nemesis swore you were going to pay all those years ago, not Percy and Annabeth falling into Tartarus.
It's selfish of you and you know it, but this loneliness hurts you more than that ever could.
And you won't even admit to yourself, much less anyone else, that you wish it had been Piper's head on your shoulder instead of Hazel's.
It's the end of the summer three years after defeating Gaea, and Piper is trying to pull herself together with your help.
Part of you wishes she'd leave you alone like everyone else does (but everyone doesn't leave you alone, they worry and care for you, and you're just too blind to see it) but it's Piper and you know that she'd never do that and besides, it killed you seeing her hurt the way she was when Jason left her, and you'll do anything in your power to make her happy again.
You and Jason aren't friends anymore, because of course you're loyalty to Piper, and you still don't know why he chose Reyna instead, and it kills you that you don't even know him anymore. All you have is the memories and half of them are fake, Mist-induced, and a hatred for Hera consumes your entire being because your life is in tatters, thanks to Tia Collida, and you don't know how to make it okay again.
You go to ITC in the fall to get a degree in engineering, but you don't really care. You know you'll just end up at Camp Half-Blood, in the end, so it's useless to try but you do, anyways, because you're Leo Valdez, son of Hephaestus. Because deep down you know there's something out there for you, and you hope you're going to find it at ITC.
It's six months after the end of the war and Annabeth has just left for Mount Olympus. Percy is upset and because he's upset, so is everyone else.
You're in Bunker 9, studying Archimedes' blueprints and trying to work it out, when Percy walks in. He doesn't say anything at first, just sits down and watches you, and it's distracting because you hate it when people watch you work, so you finally turn to him, hands on your hips.
"Sup, Percy?" you ask and you force a grin onto your lips even though you want to him to leave you alone. Percy is more perceptive than you give him credit for, though, and he frowns at you.
"You okay, Leo? You've been acting weird lately."
You're not okay, and you know you've been acting weird. You watched Nico di Angelo die six months ago, and it's not okay, and you're not okay because you turned sixteen today, for Zeus' sake, and you're still just a kid, and it's okay to be broken, you tell yourself, but even Hazel is handling it better than you, and you don't know what's wrong with you. But you don't want to tell Percy any of that, you don't want to become vulnerable, so you avoid the question and ask one of your own.
"Did you come here just to ask me that?"
Percy shakes his head and says, to your surprise, "No, I wanted to wish you a happy birthday. I guess everyone sort of forgot about it, what with Annabeth leaving and all."
You're shocked and speechless, because you didn't think anyone at Camp Half-Blood knew your birthday (you certainly didn't tell them, and no one asked, not even Piper or Jason), and that's why you stutter out, "I didn't know you knew my birthday."
And Percy only smiles, shrugs, and nods towards the blueprints.
"Good luck with those, kid," he says, and then he leaves.
It's not enough to make things better, but it helps, you think, and for the first time you're optimistic that things will, in fact, get better.
You don't find whatever it is you were hoping to at ITC, but then, you weren't really expecting to. Instead, you find that being a son of Hephaestus is practically cheating when it comes to engineering school, and in the spring, before you leave, your roommate asks if you're coming back next year.
"No," you say, and when he asks why, you tell him that it's not a challenge and that's what you need, a challenge. He tells you he'll miss you, and that he'll keep in touch, but you know he won't because he can't, because you don't leave a number or an address or anything, you just up and leave, and your roommate is stupid if he thinks he'll find your name in any phonebook.
But it doesn't matter, anyways, because now you're going back to Camp Half-Blood, where there's Piper and Percy, and Annabeth is coming back for the summer, Piper told you in an IM, and because the Roman and Greek camps joined together after you defeated Gaea, there's Frank and Hazel and Jason and Reyna, but you don't know where you stand with Jason, and you really don't care about anyone but Piper anymore.
You know you're only going back to Camp Half-Blood for her, and even though years ago you had a thing for Hazel, too, and every other single girl, now you only want Piper and you know you'd do anything for her, even if she doesn't.
But that's okay because she will, one day. At least you tell yourself so on the way to camp, and you're optimistic again because you're Leo Valdez, and you're going to be optimistic even though you're already dead inside, and this is just killing you even more.
There's a new name floating through the rumor mill at camp when you get back from ITC: Luke Castellan.
"He's finally here," Annabeth tells you, Piper, Percy, Frank, and Hazel.
Jason doesn't hang out with you anymore, and you guess it's okay, but you miss him, more than you'll admit, but you hate him, too, for hurting Piper like he has, and it only makes it worse because you can't fully hate someone you were once best friends with. Or maybe you can, but you haven't figured out how yet.
But this Luke Castellan, the one who came back from the dead, isn't like you thought he'd be. He's popular and charismatic and everyone excepts him, even after what he's done. He joins your group effortlessly, and after a few weeks you decide you don't feel the same connection you once thought you did, because this Luke isn't a loner, he isn't broken. He's simply there, breathing and alive and okay, and so much better off than you are. You don't know if that's just what dying does to you or if Luke was never what you imagined, but either way he's not like you at all and you find yourself farther away from your friends than ever.
When Piper kisses you the first time, you're twenty years old.
You know it's just to get back at Jason, because he's there with his arm around Reyna's waist, paying just enough attention to you for Piper to kiss you on the lips and rub in Jason's face what he's missing, but it's okay because Piper's lips are on yours, and that's all you've wanted from the very beginning.
You don't know who deepens the kiss, but that's okay, too, because when Piper pulls back her cheeks are flushed and she looks at you differently. And after that it seems like her hand is always tucked into yours, and her head is always on your shoulder, and you're always together.
And that makes you the happiest you've been in a long, long time.
You destroy the bird, the one you made when Piper talked to you about Jason right before he broke up with her. It's been two days since Piper and Jason were over, officially, and Piper hasn't left the Aphrodite cabin since.
The bird sits on Buford the table innocently, and when you walk into Bunker 9, you have the insane urge to set it alight.
As it burns, you feel all of your strength drain out of you, and you wish it had been you instead of Nico, three years ago. You think you'd rather be dead because being dead is easier than seeing Piper hurt like this, and it's easier than not being friends with Jason anymore.
You wish you weren't flame-proof, because you'd turn yourself to ashes if you could.
You fall asleep in Bunker 9, the bird melting on the concrete floors. You wish you were that bird but you're not, so all you can do is sleep and hope things are okay tomorrow.
You and Piper are together now, officially.
You're twenty-three, both of you, and you've been dating for three years, ever since that first kiss. Annabeth and Percy were married this year and you went to their wedding as a couple, which is a strange but wonderful feeling.
And it's okay that your mom isn't going to be there when you marry Piper. Because you will marry her, because you love Piper and Piper loves you, and that's all that matters anymore, that's all that's ever mattered.
It's okay that Nico di Angelo had to die to save your life, because you have Piper, and Hazel, who visited him once, told you that Nico is okay—that he found his real sister, Bianca, and that he doesn't regret dying for you.
It's okay that sometimes you still have meltdowns and throw things across the room, because Piper is always there to fix you when you can't fix yourself.
It's okay that you and Jason aren't friends anymore. He and Reyna are happy together, and you're happy with Piper, and things are like they should have been all along.
You think about when you used to be a loner as Piper curls into your side by the campfire, listening as Luke tells another crazy story that you're not quite sure is true but he swears is.
You aren't a loner anymore.
You're not Frank and you're not Percy, and you sure as Hades aren't Jason Grace, the guy who broke your girlfriend's heart (you don't even recognize him as an old friend anymore, that's how over it you are).
You're just Leo Valdez, and that's pretty fucking awesome.