Little one shot in the "conspiracy theories by Mozzie". Silliness ahead...
Not beta'd.
Neal Caffrey entered his apartment after a long day of work to find Mozzie sprawled on the couch with a book and a glass of wine.
He was used to see his friend coming to his place with no invitation, so seeing him wasn't much of a surprise. Seeing the bottle he had opened hurt a little bit more. That was a good vintage. Bending over the back of the couch he helped himself to his friend's glass to have a sip.
"Make yourself at home," Mozzie grumbled.
Neal raised an eyebrow and had an amused smile.
"Yeah, okay. You are at home," his friend relented. "At least get a glass!"
Neal moved to his room to remove his jacket and tie. He kicked his shoes off and took a split second to think whether he would be going out again later. Deciding that he wouldn't, he slid his socks off. That was the easy part. Putting them on, even after several years of practice, was still a chore because of the anklet. Whoever had come up with the concept of a tracking anklet hadn't thought about the need to use socks… or boots for that matter.
Mozzie was engrossed in his book.
"What you reading?" Neal asked when he saw the deep frown on his friend's face.
He short man turned the book around to show him the cover.
Murphy's laws?
"I didn't peg you for a reader of humor books…" Neal said a bit surprised by the choice.
"This guy had it all figured out." Mozzie shook his head in disappointment. "He was smart, I don't get how he didn't make the connection."
"The connection?" Neal frowned. "With what?"
"Are you familiar with Murphy's laws?"
"Yes, some of them, like everybody else."
"Never made you wonder?"
Neal grabbed a glass, poured some wine and sat down, ready to embark in a new trip down Mozzie's own twilight zone.
"Okay, shoot."
"Sorry?" Mozzie was a bit surprised by the reaction.
"You probably have some theory about that. You wouldn't be so engrossed in that book otherwise. I'm feeling magnanimous this evening. All set to hear about your latest conspiracy theory."
"Neal!" Mozzie yelled almost in anger. "You cannot make fun of this! We don't live in a fairy tale. This is more Big Brother than White Rabbit. Nothing is as innocuous as it looks."
Feeling brave, Neal decided to humor his friend.
"There is actually a reason why anything that can go wrong will go wrong?"
Looking insulted Mozzie pointedly looked at Neal ankle, then raised his head to look at his friend.
"Wrong example," Neal muttered. He polished off his glass and poured more wine. "So you're saying 'shit doesn't happen' it is thrown?"
"Exactly," Mozzie answered with a delighted smile, glad his friend saw his point of view so readily.
That still didn't explain why Mozzie was reading that particular book. Unless…
"Mozz…" Neal called softly. His friend raised his head from his book. "Are you actually reading that to uncover more conspiracies?" The man really didn't need any help on that topic.
"This book is a gold mine. I still don't understand how it has been published at all." Mozzie closed the book and lifted it reverently. "It's all in here. Decades of manipulation, surveillance, lies… You just need to learn how to read between the lines." Mozzie shook his head softly. "Unbelievable."
"The fact that the book is sold in the "humor" section doesn't strike you as surprising?"
"Oh come, Neal. It's not as if there is a "conspiracies" aisle in bookstores!"
Okay, so maybe he had a point there. Still, knowing about conspiracies and doing anything about it was a whole new can of worms.
"I do realize I'll probably never be able to do much about it," Mozzie relented. "But at least by knowing about them, I can escape through some cracks around them."
"Huh huh." Like having a different lodging for every day wasn't enough. Did Mozz even have a social security number? As far as Neal knew, Mozzie was already off the grid. He had even "killed" his own true identity some time back. What else was he afraid of?
"Yes, I know what you think. The devil is in the details Neal! No one is invisible. You can just try to be as transparent as possible."
Neal picked up the book, flipping the pages. The "laws" were listed by topics, anything from computers to nurses, from the military and cars to sewing. Sewing ?
"You're done reading it?"
"Reading yes. I haven't had a chance to figure out all the conspiracies evidently."
"Evidently…" repeated Neal.
He didn't know how he should feel about this. The topic of conspiracies was hard core Mozzie, nothing would ever deter him from that path.
"Knowing about conspiracies will help you escape them…" he stated softly.
Mozzie grunted. "I'm no fool. I know new ones keep appearing every day…"
He looked so depressed Neal felt bad for him. He picked up the bottle and filled up his friend's glass. No conspiracies in a bottle of wine, right?
"Drink. Now that it's opened, we need to finish it. Enjoy the small pleasures while they last."
Mozzie picked up the glass and drank a long swallow.
"Neal, you are a true friend. The best ever."
"And no conspiracy shall ever come in between us, I promise," Neal answered reaching over with his glass to touch Mozzie's."
"Friends forever," Mozzie confirmed.
The end