A/N: Okaaaaaaaaaaaaay, so this is my first ever story for this book, I'm not sure if it's funny, I'm not even sure if it's good, I just thought I would give it a go seeing as I loved the books so much, so please review at the end and tell me what you think, if I come back with a load of people saying its complete and utter crap, then I'll stop, but if you think it's alright then I'll post some more chapters. I have written some more already that are a bit funnier than this one but I needed to put this down to kind of get it going if you know what I mean. And remember, this isn't like an actual story, it's just diary entries similar to the books that will hopefully make you laugh a bit. So read and enjoy!

Also Louise Rennison owns all the quirky words, jokes and of course the wonderful Georgia Nicolson, Tallulah and any other characters I might have mentioned in this!Wednesday 1st September

6:18pm

Airplanes by B.O.B and Hayley Williams just played.

I am soooooo bored of that song now.

6:20pm

I think that now I am going into year 8 I am on the brink of woman hood. I got my period last month and I now have an eternal grudge against Mother Nature.

This song makes me think of ACE isle of white trip. Number 1 by N-dubz.

6:23pm

Anyway, womanhood, I think I should have a boyfriend and to do that I need to be skinny. I am on a diet starting from now.

2 mins later...

Shovelling crunchy nut cornflakes in my mush. Ludicrously tasty.

Whatever...soooooo I'm gonna use Georgia's snog scale for practical purpose only. *wink wink*

1- Holding hands

2- Arm around

3- Goodnight kiss

4- Kiss lasting over three mins

5- Open mouths

6- Tongues

61/4- lip nibbling

61/2- ear snogging

7- Upper body fondling (outdoors)

8- Upper body fondling (indoors)

9- below waist activity

10- The full Monty

6:30pm

Ok, so year 7, survived. But! Year 8 has to be the best year EVER! I know my way around school, and I don't keep getting "awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww" or "oh aren't they cute!" comments every time I walked past upper years. I also don't have to worry about exams or options! I was a nerdy first former last year so all the teachers trust me. Well, kind off, if you get my nub.

Georgia told me about this one time when she called her friend jas, and played a fabulously subtle trick on her, I wonder which one of my brain dead useless friends would fall for it?

Called nutcase, also sometimes known by Lucy.

"hi"

"Bonjour mon amie!"

"ok, you're talking French, bye" wth I thought it was Spanish! Oh well.

"wait wait!"

"What?"

"I love you!"

"Uuuuh thanks"

"well say it then"

"what?"

"that you love me too"

"do I have to"

"mais oui"

"I don't know what that means"

"just say it"

"huuuuh! I...love...you"

"Thanks see you later lezzie"

Then I hung up, just like gee told me to.

Hahahahahahahahaa, I can't believe she fell for that, I believe she was with me when gee explained how she did it to jas.

It wasn't that long ago either.

Lying on my bed of pain, in my bedroom of sadnosity.

8:11pm

My lil bro hates me. I don't know how anybody could hate me. I am wonderfully generous and kind and giving and reasonable and charming and oh the list goes on forever. I am especially modest. I just don't understand how Jake could not like me. He probs has anger issues.

7 mins later...

Mutti has just confirmed this. Crikey.

8:20pm

Mon mama just explained how Jacob the loon is having "a rough time at school." Speech marks because that's her words not mine.

But apparently all his bastard friends have deserted him and he spends the whole time on his owny owny all aloney.

I feel depressed now. He might be rather spasmodically special and infuriatingly annoying and hate me all the time and I hate him back but he is my brother and I do love him really.

8:30pm

I was really in sheer desperadoes when I had a 'eureka!' momento!

The spazzy special one is always going on about how he needs a phone. Well, if we actually listened to his pleas of phoneyness and got him one he could text all his class mates and become tip top buddily chums!

I am full to the brim of geniosity.

Or is it generosity?

Both, I think.

8:49pm

Since I walked out of dinner in a hump, I am now starvingly starving.

I am going to venture out into the wilderness of my house and see if I can scavenge a left over digestive to nibble on maybe.

9:12pm

Mission: succeeded. But I ran into a divvy looking mum on the way back to the only sane place in this house (my room). I got told off for talking too much! I didn't even want to have a bloody conversation with her in the first place she started it. Georgia once said to me, she gets told to shut up so much she shouldn't have even bothered learning to talk.

She does make me laugh. Like a loon at a loon party. Haha.

9:47

The div parents hate me.

I feel unloved

Loooneleeeee! I am so looneleeeeeeeeee! I got noboooooodeeeeeeeeeee fooooooooor my oooooooooooooowwnnnnnn!

I suppose I should go to sleep now.

Big day tomorrow.

I'm doing nothing.

Except prepare for another year of harsh child labour at stalag 13. Georgia's school is stalag 14, because she's a year older than me, and lullah's school should be stalag 12 because she a year younger than me, but she went to this stupid arty farty thing in the summer, so it doesn't quite fit in.

Friday is such a stupid day to go back.

10 mins later...

Oh flip flip flip its Lucy's birthday tomorrow!

oopsy daisy.

Oh crikey! I sound about 80 when I say that.

10:03pm

Soon I'm gonna start saying "oooh that hits the spot!" when I take a sip of tea.

10:13pm

Blimey o Riley's trousers, I almost forgot!

'pinch punch first day of the month!'

There, now I can get my beauty sleep in peace.

As long as that bloody great nincompoop of a dog shuts up downstairs.

10:48pm

Got bored so I went downstairs and made the best bloody hot chocolate in the universe! Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, yummy scrumboes!

11:05pm

My mum just came in to say goodnight and told me to take my bra off. In front of her. Eww. Of course she didn't actually say "take your bra off in front of me" she just told me to take it off then just kind of stood there looking at me. I thought she was meant to be married to my vati! Maybe she's ΒΌ lesbionish?

Oh god, I've got horrible images in my brain now! Get out GET OUT!

11:10pm

Apparently my basoomas need to 'rest' when I'm asleep.

It's not like they have to do a lot of work, I mean, think of my poor feet. Well actually my whole body suffers the wrath of my nungas. It's like carrying two small people around with me.

If they get any bigger I'm gonna end up toppling over forwards every time I stand up.

I'm now starting to sound a bit bonkers. I think I need a zizz. A loon ziiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiizz.

So that was the first bit to get things going, I'm sorry for any mistakes there might be I wrote this pretty quickly, one last thing before I bore you all to death, I am a very busy person and I can't promise I will be able to update like every other day, I will try as much as I can though.

Please review and tell me what you think!