AN:
The Wishing Fish was requested by X-Chick303.
Cannonboom was requested by Lucida Lownes.
There was once a poor fisherman named Sam who lived with his wife, Tabitha.
"We're married?" Tabitha and Sam asked together.
The pair looked at each other and pulled a face.
Every day Sam would go out to fish. One day when he threw his net into the water he only caught seaweed. He tried again and got seaweed again. On the third try he caught a golden fish.
"Please don't kill me," said Ororo. "I'll grant you any wish in return if you just spare my life."
Logan cocked an eyebrow at Sam.
"Making Storm beg, are you?" he drawled.
"Uhh..." Sam said nervously.
"Don't mind him, mon ami," said Gambit. "Logan's just sore because he prefers being the only one to make Stormy... beg."
"Remy," Storm said reproachfully.
"I don't want anything," said Sam. "Go free little fishy!"
Sam let the fish go. Later, when he got home he told his wife about what had happened.
"Do you have to throw the 'wife' word around?" Tabitha asked.
Have to? No. Want to? Yes.
"Meh."
"You spared the fish's life and she would have granted us any wish?" Tabitha scolded him. "You knew perfectly well that my washboard is broken. Couldn't you have at least asked for a new one?"
"Oh, well," Sam said, scratching his head. "I suppose I could see if I could find the fish tomorrow and ask her then."
"You had better."
"Oh joy," said Sam. "She's not just my wife, she's my nagging wife."
"Yeah, and I'm holding out on sex too," said Tabitha.
So the following day, Sam went out and called for the fish.
"Here fishy, fishy," Tabitha said, giggling. "Come out, come out wherever you are!"
Ororo heard his call and Sam told her about Tabitha's request and asked if she could concede to granting this wish. Ororo was more than happy to.
So Sam returned home, and was rather pleased to find that the washboard was fixed. Tabitha, however was not satisfied.
"Of course she's not," said Sam.
Tabitha chuckled.
"How can you be happy about a washboard when we're living in this broken down shack?" Tabitha demanded.
So the next day, Sam once more went looking for the fish, and when he found Ororo, he asked for a new house.
"There," said Sam. "Happy now?"
"Eh, probably not," Tabitha replied. "Wouldn't be much of a story if I was."
While Sam was rather impressed with the house when he saw it after his day's fishing, Tabitha was not.
"It's adequate, I suppose," she said. "But I'm tired of doing housework all the time. Tomorrow, ask the fish for a palace."
"Tabitha, I really don't think –" Sam began.
"Obviously."
"Don't let her bully you around, Sam," said Bobby encouragingly.
"I don't think –" Sam began.
"Yes we know," Tabitha said, cutting him off gleefully. "You just said that."
It was rather windy when Sam went looking for Ororo the next morning. He was rather unhappy about asking her for the palace, but he did nonetheless. Ororo graciously granted him the request.
Sam was greatly impressed with the palace when he got home. There were many beautiful gardens and the architecture was exquisite. Surely Tabitha would be happy now.
"Where would be the fun in that?" asked Tabitha merrily.
"Speaking of getting pushed around," said Logan. "You know, 'Ro, you don't have to keep granting wishes."
Storm just smiled knowingly.
"Yes, yes," Tabitha said dismissingly. "The palace is very nice, but what good is a palace with no power to go with it? Tomorrow, I want you to ask the fish to make me the ruler of the province."
Sam tried to object again, but Tabitha would hear nothing of it.
"That's right," Tabitha said, nodding decisively.
"You just enjoy being a bully," said Sam.
"Either that," Gambit said wickedly, "or she's looking for a homme who'll push her back."
Tabitha laughed and then winked at Sam. "Maybe I am."
It was windy again the next day, with a light rain when Sam found Ororo again. He asked her to make Tabitha the ruler of the province and once more, Ororo granted his request.
Sam was so certain that Tabitha would be happy this time, only he got home to find that the province just wasn't good enough for her.
"I want to be the Tsarina," she informed him.
"Tsarina Tabitha," Tabitha said musingly. "I like the sound of that. And Tsarina isn't overdone like princess and queen."
"I think Tsar Sam sounds better," Sam replied.
"Does not."
"Does too."
"Does not."
"Does too."
"Ahem, children," Storm cut in.
It was still windy the next day and the rain was heavy as Sam looked for the fish once more. Ororo was clearly unimpressed with the latest request, but granted it all the same.
He returned home to find Tabitha looking angrily out at the stormy seas.
"I wanted to go sailing today," she said, "but just look at that weather! It's a disaster. Tomorrow, you must tell the fish to make me the Ruler of the Sea."
"I thought Logan was the Ruler of the Sea," said Rogue.
"Since when?" asked Gambit.
"Since we did The Little Mermaid," Rogue replied with a grin.
"Nah," said Kitty. "King Triton was the Ruler of the Ocean."
"Oh, well, that makes all the difference then."
The following day, after Sam once again failed to persuade his wife to change her mind, he went out looking for Ororo. The wind and the rain were so hard and strong and loud that Sam could barely hear himself think, let alone hear him voice Tabitha's request.
Abruptly, the storm ended, and as everything cleared, Sam could hear Ororo say "I shall give you something better."
He knew he wouldn't see the fish again.
When Sam returned home, there was no more palace. Instead, the old shack they had been living in was back, and he found Tabitha inside with the washboard, broken once more.
"Aww sad," said Tabitha. "You could have at least left the washboard intact."
"That's what you get for being greedy, Tabby," said Sam, nodding.
"Oh shush you."
"No, I don't want to," said Sam. "You've been pushing me around all story, and now I get to gloat. So, ha!"
"Hey, it's not my fault if you're such a pushover."
"I'm not a pushover! But you're a greedy, selfish –"
"So, Roguey," said Gambit, "how long do you suppose it's going to take them to start making out?"