Walk All Over Me:
"Hey Castle?" Her voice sounded hesitant as I handed her, her cup of coffee.
"Yeah?" I responded moving to my usual seat.
I saw her glance around the bullpen for a moment while biting her bottom lip; the boys were sitting at their desks finishing up paper work from the last case. A part of me couldn't help but wonder what had happened to the tiger.
"Um…" She started before she seemed to gather her courage. "Do you really feel as if though I walk all over you?"
Her question threw me for a loop, she sounded so very worried and hesitant. I was use to headstrong and determined Beckett, nothing ever getting in her way.
I knew that on some level she cared for me, personally she was my best friend. And I hoped that at the very least she thought of me as her friend and no more the pain in the ass that she had to put up with as she had in the beginning.
I pushed away these thoughts, dwelling on them done me no good. Insecurities weren't something that I was used to but Beckett had a way of changing someone's life, she had introduced rejection to me in an entirely new way after all.
"Well, yeah. Sometimes." I answered honestly; she would be able to tell if I was lying to her.
The woman could spot a lie from a mile away and I had no reason to lie to her about this. It was true that I felt like she walked over me at times, she had done it literally as well, just last night in fact.
"Oh." Her reply was soft.
I watched as she turned to face her computer screen, but even as she stared at it her eyes didn't move. They remained fixed on only something that she could see.
I felt bad but there was nothing I could do about what had happened. I thought quickly, trying to think of something to cushion the blow, a joke or some sort of comment. But I had nothing good, hence I blurted out the first thing that came to mind.
"I'm used to it."
Shit! My brain screamed as soon as the words left my mouth, all thought of being eloquent went right out of the window. I had to fix this and I had to fix it now, so of course I started babbling away.
"Not that you do it all that often. I mean in the beginning you were kind of mean, but hey you have definitely improved over the years. Not that you need improving or anything."
She was staring at me, brow furrowed and lips slightly parted. I forcefully snapped my mouth shut, praying that I hadn't crossed some sort of line and would have to deal with volcano Beckett.
It was never any fun when she got angry, I use to enjoy getting a rise out of her when we first started working together but things had changed over the years.
"I'm just going to keep quiet now." I muttered after a few moments of awkward silence.
I sunk into my seat and stared down at the floor in front of me, if there was ever one thing I needed to learn it was to keep quiet. Sometimes I just wanted to gag myself due to my word vomit. I had never been able to curb it.
I could feel her staring at me, her gaze sent electrical sparks buzzing across my skin and butterflies erupted in my stomach while my chest tightened. I gripped the arm rest of my seat hard, forcing my leg to not bounce up and down as so to display that I was nervous.
Thankful the awful moment was ended with Beckett's desk phone ringing, I watched out of the corner of my eye as she turned away from staring at me to answer it. I let out a small sigh of relief; at least this was over with.
Hopeful permanently, water under the bridge and all that.
"Let's go boys." Beckett called out as she stood up, grabbing her jacket while she held a small post it note in her other hand.
The guys jumped up from their seats, ready to get to work. I followed suit, my mind running wild with speculations of what we would be seeing. Murder was an interesting thing.
"Hey Castle?" Ryan asked as we were approaching the elevator.
"What?" I asked with a smile, I was fond of the detective.
He had a good sense of humour that often matched my particular flavour of funny. Although it could be a bit inappropriate at times, but our friendship had grown after the 3XK ordeal.
"Do you think Jenny and I should fly, or drive when we go?" He asked looking slightly sick.
I almost scoffed, coming to me for relationship advice was silly. But I knew that in a way he looked up to me, although I would never truly understand why. I decided to answer.
"One way or another you going to have to answer those questions that you want to avoid." I stated honestly.
"Yeah?" He asked fidgeting with his jacket's cuff slightly.
"There is no avoiding the hard questions, its best just to answer them. That way you always know and there is no doubt." Was my candid answer, deciding to ease his fears I lowered my voice slightly. "Listen Ryan, you love her and she loves you. You guys are getting married for the right reason, just remember that."
"Thanks man." Was his sincere reply with a small nod.
Just then we got into separate cars, Ryan and Esposito going together as usual, while I tagged along with Beckett. I left her radio alone for a change, wanting to avoid the usual slap on the hand she always gave me when I fiddled with the thing.
As we made our way to the crime scene which was located at a posh five star hotel, I made sure to avoid eye contact. I was desperate to avoid what had happened earlier. Normally I would be all for the let's talk it out like adults play.
Lanie was already waiting for us in the penthouse suit standing over the body of a young man. He looked to be in his early twenties. But that wasn't what really caught my attention.
There standing in the lounge with two uniforms with his white robe covered in blood was none other than one of my friends. Michael Levin.
I listened as Esposito and Lanie shared what they already knew about the crime, they were sniping at each other again. It was a common occurrence with them as of late. Ever since they had broken up.
I wished that they would just get back together with each other, they were meant to be like Ryan and Jenny. A small part of me also believed that Beckett was perfect for me, but I honestly doubted more and more that it would ever happen.
"It looks like this Michael Levin done it." Esposito finished off, flipping his little note pad close and stuffing it into his pocket.
I didn't bother to listen to anything else that they had to say, as my gaze went to Michael. We had met when I was 17 and he was 23. He had always been involved in the fashion industry; our friendship had formed from me being one of his male models.
"Alright, let's go Castle." Beckett said in her no nonsense voice as she started marching across the room.
Straight to where Michael stood, I hadn't seen my friend in several years but we kept in touch regularly. I couldn't help but wonder if this would be like another incident that wasn't all that long ago.
That if another one of my friends were guilty of murder except this time it wouldn't be their father but instead their lover. It made me feel sick to the stomach. I was no choir boy, but this was something on whole new level.
I just hoped that he wasn't guilty, but if Beckett found him to be guilty then I would firmly stand beside her conviction this time as opposed to not believing her. She was my best friend and partner, I had to trust her.
"I'm Detective Beckett and this is my partner Ri-"Beckett started only to get cut off.
"Alex?" Michael asked, cutting Beckett off in the middle of the introductions.
"Michael." I returned with a nod, my friendship with him would not influence my judgement.
Beckett sent me a withering glare; I decided to ignore it and stared at my long-time friend. He looked as if though he had aged ten years, but standing in a blood soaked robe wasn't doing him any favours either.
"You the one that called 911?" Beckett questioned, cutting straight to the chase.
Bless her one tracked mind, but I knew that this couldn't be avoided. I would be in for some serious reprimanding soon enough, like once we were out of ear shot. This wasn't something that she would just let go.
"Yes, I woke up this morning and found him just like that." Michael chocked out, tears running down his cheeks.
I watched on as Beckett questioned him, there was an air of disbelief about her. And I couldn't help but to agree with her, the story was sketchy at best.
Beckett's glare as we left the suit firmly carried a message across that she would not be tolerating any antics. We approached the lift in tense silence.
"You know him." She stated, not questioned.
"Yes." I replied staring at the metal doors of the elevator. "I met him when I was 17."
"Castle-"
"It won't interfere, I swear. I've learned my lesson." I cut her off, scowling at the door.
If she thought he was guilty then I would firmly believe that till in my grave. I trusted her completely, her judgement was always good and she always sought the truth. Beckett wouldn't send an innocent man to jail.
Things were tense between us as we drove back to the prescient, I didn't like it in the slightest. It felt wrong, unnatural, this was my friend and now things would be strained and awkward.
"Beckett?" I called out quietly as she pulled out the key from the ignition.
"What is it Castle?" She snapped.
"Maybe I should just sit this one out, I don't want to cause any problems." I said quietly, not meeting her eyes.
"If that's what you want." She replied slowly.
"Right, see you when this is all wrapped up then." I returned quietly before grasping the handle.
I walked down the side walk, staring at my feet as I went. Inside I felt lost, but on the outside I made sure there was a pleasant enough expression on my face.
She hadn't asked me to stick around, to try and change my mind, or anything. Bitterness rose up within me, it was sometimes all too easy to believe that she didn't care at all.
Letting out a quiet sigh I continued on my way. I had no destination in mind but I just knew that I had to keep on moving.
I couldn't help but think if I should move on from her as well, stop being a love sick puppy and all that. My writer friends had once labelled her a distraction.
My hope of being with her was getting dimmer and dimmer every day; it felt as if though it would never be happening. Sure we made some progress from time to time, but there were no real mile stones in the whole.
I wouldn't make any rash decisions though, best to take my time and think about matters properly.
I heard someone knocking away on the front door, getting up from my desk where I had been busy writing a fighting scene between Nikki and a thug. Making my way to the door I couldn't help but wonder who it could be. Normally at this time of the day I would be at the prescient.
But with Michael being the main suspect I had decided to distance myself from it completely. It wasn't that I didn't want to help, but I just wanted to simply avoid putting any tension or strain on my relationships at the prescient.
It was enough that Captain Gates already didn't like me, at all, she had made it clear many times what she thought about my presence at the cop shop. I didn't want to give her any more reasons to toss me out, again.
She wasn't a bad woman, there was a part of me that admired her, but her obvious dislike for me made sure that my admiration remained private and minimal. Letting out a sigh I swung the door open.
Blinking in surprise as I saw none other than Michael Levin standing there, a further surprise was that Gates was standing behind him. She had never shown up at the loft before. I almost gaped at their presence like an idiot, but managed to resist.
I was certain that if I did though the good Captain would no doubt have a snarky comment. Deciding that I would refrain from asking questions till they were at least inside, I stepped aside with my customary photo shoot smile.
"Please, come in." I said, managing to sound polite as I held the door open.
Michael offered me a greeting as he passed me, while Gates just gave a nod. I was certain that she was here against her will, but Michael wasn't exactly holding a gun against her head and frog marching her.
"Would you like anything to drink?" I offered politely to my two unexpected guests.
"No Castle." Gates shot out, in her usual brisk tone. "Mister Levin needs somewhere to stay for a short while, till the case is over."
"And you want it to be here?" I asked back.
If there was one thing that I knew about Gates it was that she didn't like wasting time. Not in the slightest, she wouldn't be here telling me that Michael needed a place unless she had it in her mind that he would be staying with me.
"That's correct." She answered with a short nod; I could see her all but itching to leave.
"Alright then." I agreed quietly, I could have refused after all it was my home.
But I knew Gates would be less than pleased with me and she would try even harder to get rid of me. It was best to just give her what she wanted, even though it seemed as if Michael was no longer looking guilty I couldn't help but be grateful that Alexis was away.
"Now, there will be a uniform posted outside your door at all times." She stated in her you-better-just-accept-this-and-nod-along voice.
"Understood Captain." I replied automatically, nodding along with my words.
"If you step one foot out of line, I will personally haul your ass back to lock up." Captain Gates stated to Michael.
She left with a quick greeting; I almost burst out at laughter at how fast she retreated. I looked over at Michael; he was looking all that good. Not in the slightest, it seemed as if though lock up hadn't agreed with him at all.
"Let me quickly show you around, so that you can get some rest." I said quietly, leading my friend up the staircase.
Less than twenty minutes later and I was done with the tour, leaving Michael in the guest room to get some rest. Making my way back downstairs, I opened the door, curious to see who was on duty.
"How you doing Mac?" I asked the uniform.
I had made it my personal mission to get to know the officers of the 12th prescient. Mac was a good guy, having gotten married at the age of 19 and was still going strong with his wife, who just happened to be a fan.
Making sure that Mac was comfortable, I made my way back inside the loft. Leaving the door unlocked in case he needed something, my laptop was waiting for me.
Now, to get back to the fighting scene that I had been busy with for the last two hours. I liked for my books to be perfect.
The following day there was a knock at my door, I put down the cup of coffee I had been enjoying and made my way to the front door. Pulling it open, I was surprised to see Beckett and the boys.
"Um, hi?" I half greeted and half questioned their presence.
"Hey Castle." Beckett replied quietly, the boys offered their customary greetings.
"Come on in." I instructed remembering my manners, and stepping aside to let my friends in.
But I knew that at this moment that they weren't just my friends, but police officers on duty no doubt here because of Michael.
"We here to ask your house guest some questions." Beckett stated in her no nonsense voice.
"Right, well make yourselves at home and I'll go get him." I replied back, waving my hand at the loft in general before making my way outside.
Michael was sitting in his room, staring out the window. It wasn't the first time that I had seen him this way, so lost in thought that he forgot about the world around him. I could understand why he was acting this way easily enough.
"Michael?" I called out quietly, he didn't seem to hear me so I tried again but I bit louder this time. "Michael?"
He was startled, jumping slightly as he swung around to look at me. I felt bad for my friend, but there was nothing that I could really do for him.
"The Detectives are here to ask you a few questions." I stated without preamble.
He followed me out the room and downstairs to the lounge, where Beckett and the boys were. I decided it was best that I not interfere and made my way past them into the office.
"I'll just be in my study." I informed them before closing the door quietly.
As I sat back down at my laptop to carry on writing Nikki's latest adventure, I found myself distracted. Voices carried out easily in the loft, and the commanding voices of three detectives were easy to enough to hear.
One particular question caught my interest greatly, and I had to muffle a groan while resisting the urge to bang my head against the desk. The boys will never let me live this down. I could just see all the little jokes that would be coming my way for the next few months.
"Oh back then, Alex was the face." Michael informed them so very honestly. "The next year was-"
"Alex who?" Esposito questioned in a firm voice.
"Rodgers, you know. Rick." Michael responded sounding slightly confused.
"As in Richard Castle?" Ryan asked, I could all but hear the laughter in his voice.
Wonderful, I thought sarcastically. With a sigh I forced myself to start typing again, Nikki and Rook were checking out a new lead. A promising new lead.
I was brought out of my frantic typing by a knock on the door. I looked up from the screen, slightly startled at the interruption. I had been so lost in my writing that I had completely forgotten that anyone was even in the loft.
"Come in!" I called out, making sure to raise my voice slightly.
Beckett stepped into my study, closing the door behind her; there was a slight furrow in her brow. And I was curious as to what caused it; I wanted to sooth it away but remained firmly in my seat.
"I just need to rule you out." Beckett stated plainly, biting her bottom lip as she took a seat on one of the leather seats in the room.
"Alright." I replied, this wasn't personal.
I understood that, it was just part of her job. Part of the process in which all suspects had to be eliminated.
"Castle, it's not that I or the boys-"
I decided to cut her off, making up personally for my blunder about her walking all over me. I still felt a bit bad because of it. This would be my way of making it better.
"No, I get it." I said with a small smile. "So when?"
The time frame was easy for me to identify, the murder of Michael's lover had occurred when Beckett and I had been cornered by the tiger. If there was ever a solid alibi this would be it.
"I was being purred at by a wild tiger while being held captive by Southern hillbillies." I said with a straight face, but I couldn't hold it.
A grin broke free, now that the whole ordeal was over with it was easy to joke about the entire situation. Of course when it had been happening there was nothing funny about the large cat that had been licking its lips at us. Damn thing had been toying with us, mouse and cat.
"It hadn't been purring." Beckett chirped in with her own grin.
"Alright fine spoil my fine." I joked back.
"I should go; we got a lot of alibi's to check out." Beckett stated standing up.
I was saddened at her having to depart, I missed her company. I was so use to being around her, but now it was like quieting a bad habit cold turkey. I wanted to throw myself at her feet and wrap my arms around her, while pleasing with her to stay.
But I still had a bit of dignity left, and wasn't just that desperate yet. I just hoped that this case got wrapped up quickly so that I could return to the 12th; I missed having something to do during the day that wasn't writing.
Michael had gone back to his room by the time I made my way out of the office with Beckett. The boys were milling around at the front door, giving a quick greeting they made their way outside. I even missed them, although I was certain that very soon they would have enough jokes to start torturing me.
"You know, Castle, if you wanted to you could always come back to the prescient to work on the case." Beckett offered, looking nervous.
I was stunned, but I knew that it would probably be for the best if I didn't. There was no telling how Gates would react to me returning to the 12th while this case was still on going. She wasn't really able to punish me, but that didn't mean that the time wouldn't pay for my presence.
"Once this case is all wrapped up, I'll return with coffee." I joked lightly, smiling slightly.
I would love nothing more than to return, but for now I had a houseguest to watch and some scenes to write. That would have to keep me busy till this case was over, I officially hated this case.
"Are you sure?" Beckett asked looking nervous; I was slightly distracted by her biting her bottom lip.
"Yeah." I answered softly, mentally berating myself for allowing my voice to become so husky.
Once Beckett was gone, I returned back to my office. The effect that she had on me was something that I had never experienced before, and I wasn't certain if I liked it or not.
The killer turned out to be an ex-lover of Michael's that had wanted some revenge. He had been modelling since a young boy and had been involved in a relationship with Michael.
But that had all ended when Michael had found out about the drugs; it wasn't long after that that he had been unable to land a single job. Needless to say he had been upset, the relationship was over and he was out of work completely.
A promising future career had been destroyed and he was tired of just taking it. He had seen Michael and his lover while working his cab driving job and one thing had led to another. He had wanted Michael to pay, blaming him on destroying his life.
High as a kite he had waited for Michael and his partner to return from a hard night of drinking and had proceeded to stab the other man to death.
A scorned lover was easily a dangerous thing. With Michael being cleared of all charges and no longer under suspicion, he had left for France to attend some fashion show.
I was put off by his careless attitude, he was just returning to life like normal. No second thought spared towards the man who had been murdered in his bed. It made me feel sick.
That night as I sat in my loft having a glass of wine while contemplating what had been going on I was disrupted from my thoughts by a knock on the door.
I was eager for tomorrow to start, finally being able to return to the 12th now that the case was over with. I had missed the hustle and bustle of the bullpen and the excitement of being Beckett's partner.
Hell, I was even happy that I would be able to see the boys tomorrow. And I was certain that by now they had thought of every single male model joke that they could, I would accept them happily.
But most of all I missed Beckett, my best friend and partner. I was so use to her being a part of my every day that it felt unnatural to not see her anymore. I would make her all the coffee she could drink and even suffer through paperwork to spend time with her right now.
It had been a long few days for me, staying home with no real company as Michael was too busy with his own life and having nothing but writing to do. I had managed to get a lot of writing done thankfully, the book was almost finished.
Swinging open the door, I was surprised to see Beckett standing there. She looked the same as always, which was to say gorgeous, I had most certainly not been expecting her.
"Hey." I greeted slightly shocked, stepping aside for her to come in.
I could still remember the first time she had come over to the loft that had also been an unannounced visit. Closing the door and turning around to face her, I was surprised at how close she was.
"Would you like something to drink?" I asked slowly.
She simply shook her head no, before taking a gulp of air and launching herself at me. Her mouth was pressed against mine and I wanted to groan when I felt how soft her lips were. It had been far too long since we did this.
I was happy that this was happening but also slightly confused, sure our friendship had improved over the months and we had grown closer. But there had never really been a sign to indicate that this was happening.
"Um…" I said stupidly, it felt as if though I was in a daze. "Not that I'm not happy or anything but what is going on?"
Her arms were wrapped around my neck; I couldn't remember that happening in the slightest. She was standing on her toes, proving that I was just that much taller than her. I forced myself to concentrate on what she was saying and to stop thinking about just how much exactly we were in contact.
"I've missed you; I know it's insane and unexpected. But there I was sitting in the middle of the prescient waiting for you to come with a cup of coffee this morning." She was babbling, it was cute when she done it. "And when I was leaving, I stood in front of my desk waiting for you to put on my coat."
"All these little things you do for me and so much more and I just never noticed it. Just accepted it, but I want to enjoy it."
"I want to do things for you too, with you. I realized that you are a part of my life, a part of me. I'm not just functioning any more when you at my side but living."
Her mouth was moving and these words that I somehow managed to register even though she was pressed up against me made my heart soar. They were so beautiful, so genuine. I stopped concentrating on the words, just instead feeling.
She made me feel like no other woman ever had been able to, she was perfect. Everything that I had ever wanted, things I didn't even know included, this woman was perfect for me.
I cut her rambling off with a kiss, this was finally happening. We could talk more later but right now all I wanted to do was kiss her, maybe more but I was a patient guy at times.
For now though I really wanted to just kiss her, again and again.
FIN.