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A/N: Well, what are the odds? I decided to release this story on the first holiday after I completed the final chapter - and lo and behold, that holiday happened to be on a Tuesday! So enjoy this new installment, and have a happy Singles' Awareness Day. And without further adieu, I present to you...

A Swordsman's Holiday


It was September 27, 2025, exactly 53 and a half seconds after 10:18 AM. And Kazuto Kirigaya was bored.

And not that fun kind of bored either, where you've finished all your homework assignments but you're still full of energy and so you can distract yourself by working on some kind of creative hobby like learning to build a homemade AR system or writing a fictional story (but ignore all the run-on sentences until later, since your imagination doesn't wait for you to self-edit before moving on to its next tangent and then abruptly jumping back) – it was the sort of bored that leads you to spend all day browsing the Internet for silly pictures of cats and montages of stunts failed in humorous manners or other people's attempts at stifling boredom by vomiting stories into their word processor and then uploading them online until, before you know it, you've wasted the whole day and you wonder what am I doing with my life?. But I digress.

He had already promised Yui the last time he saw her that he wouldn't spend all day on the computer next time he had a day off, but with Suguha halfway across the country for a kendo tournament and Asuna over at the orphanage Yui had hacked herself into the registry of for an "isolated prospective parent visit," the part-time Spriggan had no idea what to do with his day.

*Sigh* I can't go into ALFheim either, since that's technically 'on the computer…' he groused as his eyes fell on the AmuSphere next to his bed. And practicing katas in the dojo just isn't the same as fighting against an opponent. I mowed the lawn last Saturday, and I don't feel like trying to translate any of those coding manuals right now…

He flopped back onto his bed with a groan. "I wish something exciting would happen today. And preferably sometime soon." The last sentence was spoken in a confrontational tone, as if daring the universe to take him up on it, and Kazuto waited with bated breath to see whether or not his half-hearted plea had worked.

Ten seconds passed.

Then fifteen more.

By the time a full minute had passed, the pressure had built up to almost suspenseful levels, enough that Kirito started feeling almost lightheaded. No – gotta stay focused, he reminded himself. At this point something's bound to happen, I can feel it!

The tension was abruptly cut by the sound of coughing, and Kirito whipped his head around to berate whoever had dared to interrupt – only to be hit with a sudden bout of dizziness.

As it turns out, holding your breath for a full minute while waiting for nothing to happen is not the wisest course of action, and Kirito learned that lesson first-hand.

Note to self, he thought as he thumped his chest to stem the coughing. Remember that TV and movie depictions of suspense are not to be expected unless you're inside a VRMMO or in the vicinity of Ash and Serena… Speaking of which, I wonder why they haven't shown up in ALFheim since Aincrad was put back in?

And of course, now that they had entered the equation, normality was suspended and the excitement he had been craving decided to finally give him a call.

Literally.

His phone began ringing, and he automatically answered it. "Hello?"

"Hey there, Kirito!" A cheerful voice on the other end of the line announced. "It's Ash. Hey, I forgot to tell you last night – if you, Asuna, and Yui want to come watch me compete in the Kalos League today, I can buy you guys tickets! If not that's okay, 'cause the finals aren't until next week and I don't expect to lose before then."

A sigh from Serena interrupted him. "Ash, I know you're confident, but isn't that the kind of thing Pikachu says will Jynx you if you say it?"

"Aw, come on! You know that's not real!" Ash retorted playfully. "Besides, now that Charizard insists on competing against Alain's Mega Charizard too, how would I lose? Disqualification for being late to the field?"

"Hold on – did you say last night?" Kazuto questioned. "It's been almost six months since the party, so how did…" His eyes drifted past a knickknack on his shelf shaped like a blue phone booth, and he verbally backspaced. "Oh right, time gets all wibbly-wobbly when alternate dimensions get involved. Never mind."

Aw, but I was going to say it was because I had decreed it so… a grandiose voice moped dejectedly from… somewhere… along the connection.

"…Really, Arceus?" Ash deadpanned. "I know I'm the Chosen One and all, but do you have nothing better to do than listen in on my phone conversations?"

When one end of the connection lies outside the universe I created and the topic of the conversation involves bringing someone from that universe into Mine, it is my business. The Alpha Pokémon informed him indignantly. But yes, I was bored. Much like I suspect your friend was, based on the way he first answered you.

"Really? But they just put Aincrad back into ALFheim last night, so how could he – right, the whole time thing we were talking about when you oh-so-rudely interrupted."

"Besides, I'm taking a break from the Internet for today. I promised Yui that I would, and I can't visit her because the people in charge of the real-world adoption process want to see how she interacts with each of us individually or something like that."

Serena connected the dots relatively quickly. "Oh, and today's Asuna's day for that?"

"Yep, got it in one. We figured a real-life adoption would make a suitable cover story if anybody asked about her age, so I helped her secretly register herself as a resident in an orphanage about a week or so after the party. I get the feeling the other kids there are gonna miss her, though – one of the workers said something about them 'seeming more well-balanced ever since she was transferred in' last time I was there."

This being the girl you requested that Mewtwo create a clone body for and then carried across to your friend's universe?

Ash ignored Arceus in favor of chuckling. "Well, considering she was originally designed as a psychological assistant, that's not surprising. How much longer do you think it's gonna take?"

"Probably only about another month or so, maybe less." Kirito answered. "Asuna's parents were a little skeptical when we first told them, but now they can't wait for Yui to come stay with them until Asuna and I get our own apartment after graduation."

All right, that's enough. This is taking way too long. Hoopa! Throw one of your portal rings right there. No, you don't need to know why – it's because I said so.

A small metal ring fell out of Kazuto's phone (making him wonder what the heck was going on, let alone where on the phone it could have emerged), rolling to a stop several feet away on the floor. It then expanded to show an image that would not have been out of place in an Escher painting or that old movie he remembered where people tried to plant an idea inside someone else's dream. Thankfully, before it could hurt his brain too much, something else appeared inside the ring that was much kinder on his sense of spatial perception.

Now, are we going to do this the easy way or the hard way? Arceus asked, poking its head up through the newly created hole in space-time. Either way, it's gonna be My way.

The Alpha Pokémon was answered with a shinai strike that, if it had been used against any other opponent, would have seriously disoriented them. As it was, however, it simply passed through with no effect.

Sorry, but that's not going to work. Ghost Plate and all that. The phone and the bamboo sword were torn from Kazuto's grasp, and his arms and legs snapped straight as if he had been hit with a Petrificus Totalus. You're going to watch that tournament, or so help Me… hold on, does it even make sense for me to be saying that?

The Creator of the Pokemon Universe shook its head. Never mind. Your presence there will deviate events far enough from the original timeline to keep me entertained, Charizard notwithstanding, and I will manipulate the relative speed of time such that you will return at the end of your 'day off.' Got it? Doesn't matter, I've already made up My mind.

As Kazuto was dragged through the otherworldly realm, he caught a brief glimpse of a giant six-winged serpent covered in red and yellow and a small creature that reminded him vaguely of the genie NPCs from old flatscreen RPGs before Arceus abruptly tossed him towards another giant ring. Wait, was the smaller one seriously eating a donut? he wondered absently in an attempt to keep his mind off his impending collision with the ground on the other side. His limbs unstuck just before he passed through – and then the scene shifted in front of him, dropping him directly onto a cart full of fruit balanced at the top of a hill.

"Well, that was a fortunate landing…" he thought out loud, gingerly standing up and trying to make his way to the edge without damaging any more of the Berries he had been sitting on. Unfortunately, his statement drew the attention of the cart's proprietors.

"Oi, dere's a twoip pulverizin' our purloined Pinaps and Pechas!"

I'll give you three guesses who the cart belonged to, and the first two don't count.

If you guessed Team Rocket, you were wrong. (Do not pass "Go," do not collect $200.) They had actually stolen the cart from a local farmer – the same one whose Berries they had been trying to sell as their own – which meant that it didn't belong to them either.

Little things such as 'ownership' didn't matter to petty criminals like Team Rocket, though, and the remaining two members turned as one to confront whoever dared to damage their rightfully stolen property.

"Look, I'm not trying to cause trouble here." Kazuto placated as he gingerly pulled himself over to the outside of the load. "I – wait, did you say 'purloined?' That means these aren't even yours in the first place!" In his incredulity, he temporarily neglected his situational awareness, which proved to be his (literal) downfall.

A small, unripe Cheri Berry that had somehow been mixed into the load found its way under his foot, and in an attempt to regain his balance he slammed into the side of the cart, shifting it slightly. In accordance with the laws of thermodynamics, the cart and its contents then attempted to stabilize themselves in an equilibrium with the lowest amount of free energy.

Which, thanks to gravity, was at the bottom of the hill.

"Oh, for Pete's sake…" Kazuto grumbled as the cart began to pick up speed. The ensuing ride was both thrilling and terrifying – compared to some of his flights in ALFheim, the speed was nothing, but there he could also control his speed using his wings (which he did not possess in reality).

And to top it all off, Arceus decided that it wasn't quite done messing with Kazuto yet. Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. This isn't one of those 'participate for a while, put it on pause, and then come back' things. You're kinda stuck here until the tournament is over.

Kazuto crossed his arms in annoyance, even though the Alpha Pokémon wasn't physically there to see it. "You're kind of a jerk, you know that? Anything else you wanna tell me, just to make it worse?"

Actually, there is one thing – but not telling you is actually what would make it worse.

Several seconds passed. "…And that is?"

Oh, right. Sorry, I had to destroy a rogue mosquito from yet another alternate dimension that would have eventually grown into a world-devouring monster if I had ignored it, and I got kinda distracted. What was the question again?

By this point, Kazuto had to physically stop himself from grinding his teeth in frustration. "That thing you mentioned, the one where not telling me about it is worse than telling me?"

Hmm? Oh, that. You're on a collision course with a solid brick wall right now. Good luck figuring that out. Toodles!

The runaway cart hit the curb, flinging its contents forward as it made the jump, and Kazuto sighed as he braced himself for impact with the rapidly approaching wall (and for the almost-guaranteed hospital visit that he would need afterwards). "Well, so much for watching Ash compete."

"Wait, did you say you know Ash?" a voice asked off to the side. Kazuto was confused for a second about whether or not the newcomer had meant to address him, and then he was confused for several more seconds about why the wall was no longer getting bigger. Then a slight blue glow around one of the Berries in front of his face caught his attention, and he managed to connect the dots.

That's right – I'm in Ash's world now, and psychic powers actually exist here. He felt himself getting lowered to his feet, and turned around to face his rescuer. "Yeah, he and Serena helped me rescue my fiancée several months back. Thanks for the save, by the way."

"Don't thank me, thank Metagross." the newcomer said, indicating a Pokémon whose disk-shaped body and four bulky legs looked (to Kazuto) like a tank-style mobile assault platform from an FPS. "The name's Alain. And you are?"

Kazuto accepted the outstretched hand. "Kazuto. Kazuto Kirigaya. And now I'm curious – how do you know Ash? He mentioned you when inviting me and said you had a Mega Charizard, but that's all I really know about you."

"I ran into him about a month ago when I saw him battling another Trainer with his odd Greninja." Alain answered. "I was going to battle him with the Charizard he told you about, but my boss called me in before I could – something about having found another Trainer with a strong Mega Evolution for me to battle. That's kind of my job right now, by the way, and it's part of the reason I'm participating in the League, since this is the first year the rules allow people to battle using Mega Evolutions. But anyway, since his Greninja's transformation apparently doesn't count as a Mega Evolution, we agreed to face each other in the Kalos League, so here I am."

Kazuto chuckled. "He sure manages to bring out the competitive streak in everyone he meets, doesn't he?"

Alain snorted in amusement. "Not just competitiveness, it seems. I'm not usually nearly that open when talking to strangers, especially after what happened to Chespie –" He broke off suddenly, realizing the topic he had just brought up.

It was a bit too late, though. "Who's Chespie?" Kazuto asked, and was that concern in his eyes because he didn't have the luxury of letting people being concerned about him because everyone who got close to him ended up getting hurt so he'd better make sure that Kazuto didn't get mixed up in any of this and –

"My friend's Chespin." Alain stated brusquely. "I made a mistake, he got hurt, and my boss is trying to find out a way to help him recover. End of story."

"Ah, there's the brooding loner I know so well." Kazuto joked in an attempt to cheer his new acquaintance back up. All he succeeded in doing, however, was confusing the blue-scarved Trainer.

"What do you mean? We just met less than five minutes ago."

"I know him because I was him – for a while, at least." The swordsman took a deep breath, steeling himself to tell the story. "I had a… group of close friends who all died because of a stupid mistake I made, and for the longest time I refused to let anyone else get close for fear that it might happen to them. In retrospect, I can see that I was being stupid by doing that – instead of growing as a person, I was letting a single moment in my past define who I was, not letting myself move past it."

Seeing Alain open his mouth as if to protest, Kazuto held up his hand. "I'm not saying it's a bad thing to want to keep those you care about safe from getting hurt; the problem is when you take that desire so far that it becomes an obsession, or even just gets to the point of overprotectiveness. The first one actually hurts them more, since they care about your well-being too, and the second is kind of self-explanatory. And again, I'm speaking from experience."

Alain's brow furrowed. "Huh. I never thought about it that way before. Lysandre always told me that my determination was admirable and to never let anyone tell me otherwise, but after hearing your story I kind of wonder why he said that."

"He probably just never went through something like that himself." Kazuto responded in an attempt to resolve Alain's confusion. "Even the best intentions can go astray sometimes." An image of Akihiko Kayaba overlooking a crumbling Aincrad flashed in his mind – and as it left, it left behind the niggling seed of an idea. Hold on – what if this Lysandre guy is Kayaba's counterpart in Ash's world?

"Hey, Alain?"

"Hm?"

"Has Lysandre, by any chance, said something to you about 'creating a new world' or something similar?"

Alain was confused by the apparent non-sequitur, but decided to answer as honestly as he could. "I'm guessing you've met his recruiters, then? They say that all the time. 'A new world, a brighter tomorrow' – it's like their catchphrase or something."

Kazuto shook his head. "What? No, I just knew someone back home who your description reminded me of." And just like Kayaba, it sounds like he's recruited clueless and/or idealistic folks into helping him carry out his misguided plan. "Do you think maybe I could meet him sometime?"

Alain hummed in thought. "I don't know – he's usually the one who contacts me, so I'm not sure when I'll see him next."

He snapped his fingers as an idea came to him. "Wait a minute, you said you were here to meet up with Ash, right?"

"Yeah, before I got lost and somehow ended up in that runaway fruit cart." Kazuto answered sheepishly.

Alain nodded sharply. "That's it, then. Once he sees Ash's Greninja competing in the League, he's bound to want to meet him, so if I take you to meet Ash's group you're bound to run into him sooner or later. I was just about to head over to the League building for registration anyways."

Kazuto grinned. "Sounds like a plan. Do you think we have time to swing by the police station on the way first, though? The people who had that cart earlier said something about the fruits inside being stolen or something…"

Alain glanced at his Holo Caster. "Sure, we've got time. Metagross?"

Processing… Directive updated, Sir.

Kazuto stared blankly for a couple of seconds. "…Does your Metagross seriously communicate with a British accent? It sounds like it's trying to be a butler or something." He then shook his head, remembering his recent account with a certain bored Legendary. "Never mind – you don't need to explain. That's just its 'thing,' isn't it?"

You are correct, Master Kirigaya. Though some may view us simply as subhuman creatures, our personalities remain just as diverse as those of your species, and in some cases our intelligence surpasses certain of yours. Such as Sir, for example.

"Hey!" Alain protested. "Are you calling me stupid?"

Congratulations, Sir. You have succeeded in interpreting the literal meaning of my statement. Now all that remains is for you to identify whether or not it was made in jest, and its veracity shall be determined by your analysis.

Kazuto mulled over Metagross' last statement briefly. "So, in essence, if he thinks you're calling him stupid for real, that means he actually is stupid?"

An apt summation, Master Kirigaya.

"Okay, that's it. Metagross, return – Kazuto can push the cart himself. I'm not gonna stand for this." He pulled out a Pokéball and pointed it at the Iron Leg Pokémon, activating the recall feature.

As Sir wishes. Though perhaps I ought to point out that you would not be standing, but rather walki–

Metagross vanished into a swirl of red light.

"You know, he does make a pretty good point about the whole 'standing vs. walking' issue…" Kazuto snarked, walking over and grabbing the handles of the cart.

"You wanna try and find your way around the city yourself?"

The swordsman's teasing grin immediately fell away. "Point taken."

They walked the rest of the way to the station (and then afterwards the League) in silence – but since they were both naturally introverted, that was perfectly okay with them. After a brief mix-up at the registration desk (where the clerk assumed that they were siblings competing against each other), they located the Trainers' Lounge and sat down to wait for Ash to appear.

Which turned out to be on the TV – but that story is best saved for the next chapter.


Omake: fate/Sword Tuesday


Wait, was the smaller one seriously eating a donut? Kazuto wondered absently in an attempt to keep his mind off his impending collision with the ground on the other side. His limbs unstuck just before he passed through – and then the scene shifted in front of him, dropping him directly onto a couch in a lavishly furnished parlor.

Well, perhaps not directly. There was still enough distance for his fall to demolish the sofa beneath him, shaking the room and causing several expensive-looking items to fall off the shelves along the walls. Almost immediately, a wave of almost palpable feminine anger surfaced from a room below, its origin quickly moving up towards his current position.

The underlying coldness of her mind simply enhanced the strength of her killing intent, and Kazuto instinctively grabbed at his back to retrieve Elucidator. As his fingers closed around its hilt, he vaguely registered that wait, that wasn't supposed to work I'm not in Aincrad or ALFheim before the door burst open and drove any such thoughts out of his mind.

Contrary to his expectations, though, the red-shirted teen's eyes widened when she saw him, and they appeared to glint an even brighter blue than they already were as her anger dropped away. "YES, I DID IT!" she shouted, twin pigtails bouncing as she pumped her fist. "Take that, Fake Priest! Even though I forgot to set my clocks back, I still got the strongest!"

Hold on a moment – 'fake priest,' tsundere girl wearing red and black, called me the 'strongest' after seeing my sword… "Oh, you have got to be kidding me." Kazuto complained, having recently re-watched a certain anime series from which Yui's combat style drew inspiration.

As if the universe was telling him no, I'm not kidding, Rin Tohsaka raised her right hand to reveal a lollipop-shaped set of three stigmata on its back. "You doubt my power as a Master, Servant Saber? Or will I have to use a Command Seal to get you to cooperate?"

Kazuto sighed. "At least this takes care of my boredom. If I'm the Saber-class servant, though, I wonder if Shirou will end up with the same Archer who wants to kill him…"

"WHAT? Why would you say something like that?" Rin interrupted, only to quickly put on a sloppy mask of indifference. "I'm – I'm not asking because I'm worried about Shirou or anything! Your statement about Archer's motivations just caught me off guard, that's all!"

A mischievous grin made its way onto Kazuto's face. "Oh, really? So you're not even the slightest bit jealous of your sister Sakura, who goes over to his house almost every day?"

As Rin ranted in typical tsundere fashion about how that wasn't the case, Kazuto chuckled, realizing what was really going on. This must be an omake – she's not even questioning how I know all this personal information! That, and the whole fandom shift thing… Thankfully, that means this will probably be over in a few more sentenc