I do not own Harry Potter

A/N: This is an experiment. I love reading Sirius/Remus, but I have never written one myself. I also prefer writing in third person, so I'm not sure how this will turn out. Give me feedback, yes? :)

That one night I was straight was the worst night of my life. I had still not quite accepted the fact that I was gay, and was praying on at least bisexuality, and decided that the only way I would know for sure was to give a girl a chance. It had started out fine, I had easily found a girl willing enough, and a few choice words and eyebrow waggles later brought her to my dorm, the curtains closed, and myself at a total loss at what to do.

It's not that I didn't know what was supposed to happen, I had figured that out a while ago, but I wasn't positive about how to go about it, and I knew the girl-I had not paid attention to her name, maybe Margaret-could sense my tension. I avoided her eyes, bit my lip, and repeatedly ran my hands through my midnight-black hair.

"Sirius?" Madeline (Makayla, perhaps?) asked, trailing her finger down my chest. "Are you feeling alright?"

I tried not to flinch at her touch. "Yes, fine, just"-I searched my head for a decent excuse-"hot," I said finally.

Melanie smiled deviously. "Maybe I can fix that," she started unbuttoning my shirt, going slowly and keeping eye contact the entire time. I really should have been enjoying it, her hands were soft and skilled, and her eyes were a beautiful chocolate brown. But no matter how hard I tried, Michelle's (That was it!) dark skin and silky hair couldn't interest me.

C'mon, Black, I thought, giving my head a little shake. Just relax. This couldn't be too hard, could it? One stick and one hole, right? I leaned in to Michelle's lap; she was straddling me on her knees. It was a very erotic situation, so why wasn't I enjoying it?

I closed my eyes as Michelle attacked my lips. I responded halfheartedly, my lips mimicking her own. I darted my tongue into her mouth and tried to ignore the taste of mint gum she had previously been chewing.

Suddenly my eyes snapped open. I couldn't just have sex with some tramp. It wasn't just wrong morally, but I would have to…be…excited. Michelle didn't excite me.

I sighed into her mouth, and Michelle apparently took it as a moan. Her hand moved to her own shirt, and started working herself out of it.

And then, in the midst of seducing a beautiful girl, my mind wandered to him. His soft, light brown hair, his amber eyes, sweet and gentle, and his brilliant, infectious smile. And of course, his small, but powerful body. I really did moan then.

I had his image in my mind, but instead of smiling in the polite, friendly way I was used to, he was grinning mischievously, his eyes narrowed naughtily. I felt myself grow hard.

Michelle, taking this as encouragement, immediately pounced. She took me then and there, and the entire time I was thinking about my bookworm, werewolf, completely straight best friend, Remus Lupin.

"Damn, Padfoot, you look awful," James Potter said as I shuffled down the stairs. "Was she bad?" I had told James previously about my desire to shag someone. He had laughed and told me I could have any girl in the school, and a couple of the guys. I had blushed scarlet at that and ignored him the rest of the day.

"You have no idea," I said, taking the seat next to him. Michelle had been persistent. It had taken what seemed like forever to get her out of my dorm.

"Not surprising," James said, his eyes not moving from his essay.

"What?" I asked, confusedly.

James sighed impatiently. "Well I knew you wouldn't like it. I'm surprised you went through with it, actually."

"What are you talking about, James?"

"Jeez you're hopeless," James said getting up from the couch and walking away as Remus walked through the portrait hole. He gave me one last knowing look before walking off.

Remus spotted me and took James's vacated seat. My body tensed. "Rough day?" I inquired, raising my eyebrows at Moony's tired eyes and disheveled hair.

"Not really," he said dryly. "Just the full moon."

"Oh," I said, mentally kicking myself for not remembering that the full moon had only been last night.

"Yeah, Pomfrey only just let me out. She wanted me to stay the night, but I convinced her I was fine." It was very late, almost midnight, and the common room was almost empty.

"Oh," I said again. "I'm sorry, Remus. I really am."

Remus looked into my eyes and I had to stifle a shiver. "Not your fault. If anything, I should be thanking you. All of you. You know how much I appreciate it."

I waved a hand at the statement. "I know, Moony, you've thanked us countless times." I scooted myself closer to him. "But there's no need. You know that I-we-would do anything for you."

Remus's gaze dropped to the floor. "I just hate to be a burden."

I grabbed his chin and forced his gaze to meet mine. "Remus Lupin. You are not a burden. You can't help it. Don't you dare think that we would ever think twice about helping you. I…we love you Moony." I swallowed the lump forming in my throat.

Remus's mouth opened before closing once more. I waited patiently, his face still in my hands, for him to speak. After many attempts at speech, Remus simply nodded. "But still…I can't…I'm not.."

"What?" I asked furiously. "There is nothing wrong with you! You are an amazing person. You are kind and brilliant and funny and nothing can change that!" Not to mention sexy and beautiful and absolutely bloody breathtaking.

"No, I'm not Sirius," Remus said.

I widened my eyes incredulously. "Will you get over yourself, you bloody arse? I'm over the pity parade. You are a fantastic person. Now admit it." I took my hands from his face to cross my arms.

"I…can't," Remus whispered, his eyes shining. "You don't understand."

"Then explain it to me!" I threw at him.

"Sirius," Remus started, swallowing hard, "I'm not just a monster. I'm a bloody gay monster."

My jaw dropped. Remus stared at me, apparently fearing my reaction. "Are you serious?" I asked disbelievingly.

Remus nodded miserably.

Before I knew what I was doing, I started laughing. Softly at first, but it soon grew louder, until I was laughing hysterically with tears coming out of my eyes. Remus was gay. Thank Merlin, Remus was gay!

"Yeah, just laugh. Go ahead and laugh," I heard Remus say through my laughter, his voice hard. "I shouldn't have told you." He made to stand up."No, Remus wait!" I said hurriedly, pulling him back to the couch. "I'm sorry, I just…you're serious, right? You're not playing me?" Hope bubbled in my stomach.

"No, I'm really a bloody poof. Now let go of me."

I loosened my grip on his arm but did not let go. "Well then. I hope you don't mind if I do this," I said before attacking his lips.

It was a sloppy kiss, Remus wasn't prepared, and I started having second thoughts when he didn't respond. Just because he's gay doesn't mean he likes me. I pulled back, and looked at him nervously.

"What was that?" he asked.

"I'm sorry," I said quickly. "I just thought-"

I didn't have to chance to finish my sentence because Remus had kissed me. It was sweeter than the previous one, and I responded with vigor, my heart throbbing with happiness. We separated and Remus took my hand.

"Please tell me you're not messing with me," he said.

I smiled. "Never. Looks like we're both a couple of poofs."

Remus's eyes shone. "Oddly, I'm okay with that."

Remind me never to be straight again.