Sometimes Lois wonders which one of them the psychiatrists would consider to be the craziest: Clark with his severe personality disorder, Chloe for encouraging it or her for allowing it. Probably not her, she tries to console herself, but it is not helping: for if she is not crazy, she's definitely doing something disgusting.
She is sleeping with her cousin and friend's best friend and husband, respectively. It is simply something not to be done, because it is wrong and hurtful and she knows nothing good will come out of it and it will end up with all of them getting hurt. It is already hurting herself because she hates what she has become and what she's done. But she cannot stop, however hard she tries. He is too strong and she too weak, and in spite of it all, she loves him so.
Usually it is Clark who she deals with. He is the most normal of the three, working alongside of her in the Daily Planet and living with Lana in their methodically tidy house in the suburbs. He is Lois' best friend and partner. And she loves him very, very much, but he loves and is married to Lana, so she is simply happy she has him on her side when they go on their crusade to try to make the world a little bit better place to live in.
She hates mostly the persona of his around Chloe. He is good, caring and very wholesome, always putting other people before him, following faithfully his highly moral codes and being almost soullessly devoted to justice and truth. She knows Chloe and the rest of the world worship Superman, and so did she, until she understood that he was only a clever disguise, masking not only physically the man behind the mask, but mentally too. Superman is role to play, a character without doubts, gray areas or flaws. In his out of this world goodness Superman is really an alien, not human.
Chloe adores him, because she gets to take part in his adventures as a trusted sidekick, and in her opinion there is nothing wrong with Clark having alter egos. Lois understands her, as Clark is hers at work, Lana's at home, and Chloe's only sporadically. Superman is Chloe's idea, her creation and her best friend.
But Lois is not for Clark having alter egos, because she has to deal with his last one, the one that Lana and Chloe have met only a couple of times, and hate with the passion of a thousand burning suns.
Kal is everything Superman is not and something that Clark keeps buried deep inside him. He is the dark reflection of Superman and the one that makes her think that even Clark the person is not as real as he used to be. Whereas Clark would never cheat on Lana, and Superman would never even kiss anybody, Kal can do her all night long until she is so exhausted she cannot even move a muscle.
Kal is also somebody that Clark does not admit existing. Lana and Lois know about Superman and they can discuss about him with Clark, always referring to him with third person. Superman recognizes Lois, but treats her very formally, as if she were only an acquaintance met briefly once before and not very well liked. It is only with Lana and Chloe that he sometimes lets the mask slip and proves that there is someone with real feelings under the Man of Steel.
But when she meets Clark after Kal's visits, he always treats her as if nothing had happened, as if he hadn't broken into her apartment the evening before and screwed her for hours and hours. He might have left only twenty minutes earlier, and when she sees him again at work, it feels like she had hallucinated the whole thing.
The only thing that keeps her sane is the fact that she knows she is not the crazy one in the whole mess. She has asked Lana and Chloe, and he is always absent when he is with her. It is almost mind-blowingly unbelievable how neither of them is suspicious that Clark is missing for several nights every month. They both accept that he is doing his heroic Superman thing - and he is, for sometimes. But more often than not he is in her bed.
But at the same time she understands them. She wouldn't believe that the good, moral Clark would do any of the things she has done with Kal, either.
-----
Lois, like any good reporter, can recognize the turning point in everyday life later labeled as history when she witnesses it. Today it simply feels more surreal than most, maybe because it is her own bathroom and instead of great buzz, people firing questions or screaming, there is only the silent hum of her air-conditioner surrounding her, alien in its familiarity.
The evidence for the momentous developments to occur is lying innocently on top of her washing machine and she's sitting in the toilet seat not trusting her legs, staring at it. It is only a cheap pregnancy test, found buried deep under the free samples of dated foundation creams, and she could kid herself that it is not working properly anymore.
But she has not run away from truth thus far, and she's not planning on starting today. She knows she is pregnant, knew it moments before when the thought first crossed her mind, and the positive pregnancy test is only a means to anchor her firmly into reality, to have solid proof.
It will take time to adapt to the news, she knows, because this option had never even haunted her in her nightmares, simply because she thought he was unable to conceive children. She is actually sure Clark has said so much to her once in an unnatural bound of confidence about his and Lana's plans for the future.
"Shows just how much he knows, as usual," she reflects darkly, for there is no doubt that one of Kal's late night visits has put her in this predicament. She doesn't know how far she is, because her period has always been very erratic, causing her to sometimes secretly fear for her own fertility, and it suddenly hits her, that she might not be able to simply visit a doctor, like every other excepting woman.
She sits in her toilet seat listening to the faint voices carried from outside, looking at the messy bathroom floor covered with the content of several closets and tries to come on terms with the new direction her life, absently playing with a piece of toilet paper in her hand. And she has already decided unconsciously, she notices, to keep the baby.
-----
It's Clark to whom she tells on the roof the Daily Planet three hours later after dragging him to talk with her privately. She does not think of any good way to soften the blow, so she goes, as is her habit, straight to the kill.
"I'm pregnant, Clark," she confesses to the roof and is unable to raise her eyes for fear of what she might see in his. All her fears are confirmed, however, when he nervously runs his hand over his hair and replies uncertainly "Well, congratulations!"
It's probably one of the only times she is ever been dumbfounded, and it is awful. But what is even worse, is when she raises her head to look at the father of her child who does not want to acknowledge his paternity any way, and sees only confusion and offense in his eyes.
She has never been a very emotional person, but something in breaks in her and she raises her hand to slap him as hard as she can, even thought she knows the only one who is going to get hurt is her. He is quicker, however and imprisons her hand.
"How dare you!" she screams like mad, struggling with all her might. "You bastard!" she curses him with a mighty litany of obscenities and tries to kick him with her leg. She knows she's acting crazy, but she has nothing to loose, anymore.
And suddenly Clark is also angry and hauls her to the nearest door, slamming her against it. "Me! What is wrong with you Lois?" he asks shaking her, like he has never done before. "Stop it!"
"Don't touch me!" she shrieks and he lets go as if burned and backs away. There is a moment of stunned silence and then Clark replies with a very icy tone, with hints of the commanding voice used by Superman "Don't worry, I won't, ever again." He turns his back to her and takes off; breaking for the first time for her knowledge the boundaries he has set between his different personae.
And then it hits her like a lightning, illuminating Clark's behavior and clearing the dark mood and thoughts away from her. Clark is already a blur at the horizon, and she has never been more thankful of the superhearing before. "Smallville, it's yours!" she exclaims using the long forgotten nickname. She holds her breath for a second and is in next instant hauled up from the waist and twirled around.
"Really?" he asks, and his voice is full of wonder and excitement.
"Smallville," she whispers and her voice is surprisingly caressing, "of course." And then she is being kissed, and at least for a while she can see her Smallville as the combination of both Clark and Kal. She has never felt happier in her life.