Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, it all belongs to JK Rowling, none of it is mine, and no money is being made off of this fanfic.
I originally planned for this to be a one shot, than a ficlet, about five chapters, but it's progressively getting longer so we'll see how long it is when we get there :)
Dear bored reader who has decided to read this,
Sit tight, grab a fire whiskey, (minors make sure you don't get caught), and lets get this story started. I'm Draco Malfoy. I'm hot, I'm irresistible and hey where this story starts I'm a dead man. Lucky me! Well okay, let me get you caught up a little, the fire whiskey might be getting to your head about now, and you might need some refreshing. My father was a Deatheater, before he got arrested. Lucky him. I'm seeing a family resemblance here. Anyway, Voldemort, the big cheese, the guy you don't want to mess with, is mad at my father. I don't remember all the details, the fire whiskey is definitely getting to my head, but it had something to do with a book and him failing at the Ministry. So Voldemort wanted to punish him, how you may wonder? By sending wonderful me on an impossible mission to kill Dumbledore. Of course, I was blinded by excitement for being a Deatheater. I always wanted to be one; I wanted to make my mother and father proud. I was kind of an idiot then. Kind of almost. Anyway, so Voldemort expected me to die, but, I didn't care at first. That is, until I started failing. Everything I tried didn't work, and after I thought about it I didn't really want to be a killer. I was in way over my head. And I was worried about what would happen if I failed. Would I die? Or would Voldemort let me live and kill my mother as punishment. I was digging myself a hole deeper and deeper into the dirt. And Snape, I thought he wanted all the glory to himself. Well I didn't care much for glory once I was standing there with Dumbledore at my mercy. Yeah I almost did it but, he talked me out of it. Made me promises of protecting my family. I ate it up. I didn't want to kill. I was scared out of my freaking mind. Wait are any of you readers girls? I meant- I was very brave. Nothing scares me- yeah! So Snape went ahead and killed Dumbledore he grabbed my arm and we ran for it, and that's where this little story starts…I need more Fire Whiskey.
Save me.