Bwahaha! It's the return of the infamous camp, and my excuse to be evil some more! Yay!okay, I don't own anything Naruto except my OC. If I did own Naruto, the guys would never wear shirts and and Kabuto would be the main character. Also pleas forgive any misspellings and mistakes in terminology, I watch both the American version and the Japanese subs, so I tend to get them mixed up a bit.
It was an ever so beautiful day in Konoha. The sun was shining, the flowers were blooming, and the birds were being silent, as all the singing ones had been used for target practice long ago which eventually owing to the process of natural selection led to voiceless bids that communicated by an elaborate series of gestures and body language. Ninjas like to sleep late, and when they hear birds singing outside their window they tend to solve the problem with a pointy object. So anyway, where was I? Oh yes, lovely day and that sort of thing. So anyway,it being a lovely and silent day, various ninja were messing around outside. Shikamaru had resorted to his favorite practice of watching clouds, Neji was ahem "training" with Tenten, and Sasuke was sitting inside in a dark corner being emo. All was normal. Until suddenly, something happened! Each of them disappeared in a puff of smoke, to reappear in a dark room.
"Wow, is this just me, or was that the worst segue into the main plot ever?" asked Sasuke.
"Hey, it could have been worse." said Naruto kicking a smoking box on the floor. "The plot device is broken. We could have ended up with a whole bunch of other people from different villages who would have no earthly reason to be here. Believe it!"
"Funny you should say that..."
"Doh! Believe it!"
"So, we have the whole Konoha group, and the three sand ninjas?" asked Neji. "Well, at least there aren't any more people to bring in."
"Ah, about that..."
"You know what, I think I'm just gonna stop talking."
"Mika!" cried the girls happily upon seeing their old friend from a certain summer camp which they had all agreed would never be mentioned again.
"So, how are you Kabuto doing?" asked Temari, nudging her in the ribs. Mika giggled but didn't say anything.
"Wouldn't you like to know." muttered a voice from the shadows. Sasuke stepped forward and grabbed. "Hey, not the shirt, you're gonna pull it off!" protested everyone's (my) favorite white haired sound ninja as he was pulled into the slightly lighter middle of the room. He brushed himself off and adjusted his glasses looking annoyed.
"Well, the gang's all here." said Kankuro sarcastically. "All of us locked in a dark room, all alone. What now?" There was a pause.
"Oh my god this can only be some sort of adult fanfiction!" someone yelled.
"Nooooo! I don't want to get raped by Sasuke! Believe it! Hold me Hinata!" yelled Naruto trying to leap into Hinata's arms, missing, and settling for hiding behind her instead.
"Don't take me! I'm too young and kitty eared to die! Take my brother, he has a larger following!" Yelled Kankuro pushing Gaara forward and diving into a corner.
"I like you but not in that way!" yelled Choji and Shino at each other.
"No! I'm too young for this! Save me Shikamaru!" yelled Ino, clinging to his arm.
"No, save me Shikamaru!" yelled Temari grabbing his other arm. "I don't want to be paired up with my brothers!"
"Back off he's mine!" snapped Ino.
"Hey, you're just because you're on the same team! I'm canon!" snapped Temari.
"Ladies, ladies, stop being so troublesome. There's plenty of Shikamaru to go around." Said Shikamaru, seeming to be the only one not too worried. But then, he never is. Compared to say Kabuto who was curled up in a corner rocking back and forth.
"No means no Orochimaru, no means no Orochimaru, no means no Orochimaru..."
"Hinata's my cousin! It's just wrong!" moaned Neji. "We're Hyugaas dammit, we have a proud family lineage!"
"Hey, if you even touch Hinata I'm gonna rip your ears off and stuff 'em down your throat! Believe it!" yelled Naruto glaring at Neji.
"I don't want to!"
"Are you, believe it, implying that Hinata isn't hot? How dare you insult my girlfriend!"
"What? I never said that!"
"Oh, so you like her? You are trying to get her! Fine, prepare to die pretty boy! Believe it!"
"Who are you calling pretty?"
"You! Believe it!" Neji rolled his eyes, then slowly started to grin.
"Why Naruto, do you really think that?" he asked taking a few steps closer. "Why, I never realized you thought about me that way." Naruto took a few nervous steps back.
"Uh, uh Neji, I really don't, believe it."
"You know Naruto," said Neji winking at him, "I always thought you had such lovely clear blue eyes..." Naruto twitched.
"Agggh! Brain explode! Believe it!" he yelled, staggering back wards to fall over on the floor twitching.
"Naruto!" cried Hinata, whacking her cousin on the head before trying to comfort the twitching Naruto.
"Well, that was both amusing and disgusting. Quick Tenten, kiss me to reaffirm my masculinity!"
"What are you mmmmph!"
"I'm not emo and I do not have to be saved from my cutter ways by the appearance of a cheerful yet caring person who will slowly turn my life around and then smex me up!" yelled Sasuke. "ye gods I get hurt enough when I'm fighting, what makes you think I'd want to do it even more?"
"And I'm not hooking up with Ino!We're just friends!" snapped Sakura.
"I'll save you Sakura! Youth away!" yelled Lee jumping into the air to land next to Sakura. "Quick! We shall become a couple and then the fanfic writers will be powerless against it!"
"Save me Sasuke!" yelled Sakura leaping into his arms. Well actually, just jumping at him and when he didn't put his arms out to catch her, grabbing him around the throat and wrapping her legs around his chest to cling to him like a spider monkey.
"Ummm, Sakura, I can't breathe and your, um, I mean, your chest is just level with my, ah, umm, I mean, I can see, ummm..." Sasuke attempted to make complete sentecnes with a very distracting view in front of him.
"Oooh! Oooh!" said Mika jumping up and down. "I volunteer that Kabuto and I sacrifice ourselves to save you guys and"
"No!" snapped Kabuto. "I'm not letting you."
"But what's wrong with wanting to feed each other ice cream in a disgustingly mushy way long enough to distract the fans and let everyone else escape?" she asked. "Seriously, what did you think I was gonna say?" (ha ha, get your minds out of the gutter you silly people you. And if you find mine, would you bring it back?)
"Ice cream? Where?" said Choji.
"Ah, nevermind. Anyway, I think that the first order of business is to get out of this shed thing." said Mika.
"Well how are we supposed to do that?" snapped Neji. "There are no windows! There is no door! There is no way to get out of this stupid place!" he yelled in frustration and kicked the wall. Which promptly fell down. They all stared. "Well, um, scratch that last." muttered Neji. "Shall we go?" they all walked out slowly, blinking in the suddenly bright light and looking around for enemies. But what they saw was a place completely deserted, yet eerily familiar...
Ha, I leave you at a cliffhanger! Indeed, I am so very evil. Ten points to anyone who can guess where they are! And twenty points to anyone who realizes it's in the TITLE!!