Itachi: -breathless- Elena … owns … nothing! If she owned Naruto, she wouldn't be writing fan fictions! -tries to breathe-
Me: That's more like it Ita-chan! :DD
Itachi: God … I had to … run to get here … Sasuke tried … to kill me again. -breathes deeply-
Me: Well .. okay then … This is just a little something I came up with, most of the pranks are going to be stupid, pointless, and perverted.
Sadly, in this story, the chibis aren't included D: But fear not, for they will be in many other fics of mine! :3
Warning: SasuNaru, Yaoi. If you can read the characters involved, and can see the rating, then why are you reading this fic if you don't like yaoi or M rated fics? I shouldn't be reported because YOU enter, not ME. Enjoy :D
Prank Wars
Naruto is a new student and gang member. But the gang is in a war with another and its up to Naruto to stop the hate ... with a prank war?
"Beep Beep Beep Beep" Naruto groaned and slammed his hand on his alarm clock. "Ugh! Why the hell do I have to wake up so damn early again?" Naruto rolled over, but was soon startled as his door was kicked open and his brother came in.
"NARUTO! WAKEY WAKEY EGGS AND BAKEY, UN!" Naruto groaned and rubbed his head, him having fallen out of bed and landing on his head.
"What the hell Deidara? Why are we waking up so damn early?" Deidara gave Naruto a puzzled look before pointing to the calender and taking a step away from the bed. Naruto turned over and looked at the date marked in red on the calender before jumping out of the bed and running around panicked. "Deidara! Today is our first day of school and you don't say anything?" Deidara giggled and put a hand on Naruto's shoulder.
"Calm down Naruto. That's why we set our clocks two hours before, so we can leave when we want and still get there early, so hurry up and get a move on it so we can explore the damn school Baa-chan rules over and get to studying, un." Naruto sighed and nodded, moving at a much more healthy pace than before.
"Hey Deidara, do you have any classes with me?" Deidara looked up from his making of Naruto's bed and started to think as Naruto walked into the bathroom.
"Yeah I do, un. We have Algebra 2 together, English 12, IB Civics and Economics, and I believe AP Biology. Oh and if I'm not mistaken, we have PE, so that means we have all our classes together, although I sometimes wonder how a junior and freshman got into most of those classes, un." Deidara said as he finished making the bed.
Naruto rolled his eyes and said one word. "Baa-chan."
Deidara giggled and knocked on the bathroom door. "Hey are you done in there? You haven't even picked out a sexy outfit for school yet, un." The door was kicked down and Naruto ran into his closet as Deidara giggled and went into the bathroom to do his business.
"Damn you Deidara, you keep on distracting me! Anyways … I'm going to go with the tight orange hoodie, with the arms torn off, a black shirt with the family symbol on it, and some black skinny jeans that show off my ass perfectly. What do you think?" Naruto heard Deidara sigh and hum before the water was turned on and he spit into the sink.
As Deidara walked out of the bathroom, he was greeted with the sexy image of Naruto, his sexy outfit, and award winning bedroom smile. "Damn lil'bro, you look hot, un!" Naruto giggled and fluttered his eye lashes before pushing Deidara into the closet. " Alright! Alright, I'll go find myself an outfit, you start up the coffee and car, un." Naruto nodded and walked down stairs, pushing the coffee pot in its correct place and grabbing the keys.
Naruto took a breath of the fresh air outside, staring at the early morning sky, not yet lit up with the shining rays of the sun, but with the last rays of the full moon about to set. Naruto smiled as he took in the sight of his sleek Mercedes Benz in the light of the full moon, waiting to be touched and loved once more. He sighed as he started it up, letting it warm up as he walked back inside to see Deidara in the kitchen making the coffee for the two of them.
"Oh! Look at Deidara, all sexy and looking hot just like me!" Deidara was in a white vest and light blue shirt with the family symbol and dark blue skinny jeans, it looked like Naruto's outfit and it made Naruto chuckle at the thought that Deidara wanted to look the same as his little brother.
"Yeah, un. I wanted to share your sexiness today and bask in the glory that is my little brother. That and we didn't wash anything and these are your clothes, un." Naruto fell anime style as Deidara chuckled and gave him his coffee.
"Ready to go to school lil'bro, un?" Naruto smiled and nodded.
"I'll drive." Naruto said as he walked over to the front door, tossing the house keys to Deidara to lock up.
As they entered the school parking lot, the sun began to rise, casting a nice color over the sky. "Dei! Lets go up on the roof top and see the sun rise!" Deidara nodded and got out of the car, running after Naruto who only pushed a button to lock the car. They ran over to some railings and smirked, taking a good hold on their coffee as they jumped up on the railings ninja style and began to run on them, jumping and hopping over the fencing surrounding the school's roof top.
They both landed perfectly, not a single drop of the coffee was spilled as the sun began to rise over the city covered in mist. "Oh, it looks like the sea, Naruto, un!" Naruto smiled and nodded, looking over the city as the sun began to paint a brilliant portrait of the sea side on the mist covered city.
"Yeah, I remember when we were still at our seaside house, how every morning we woke up early just to watch the sun and the brilliant colors it painted on the calm sea water." Deidara sighed and began to pull off his book bag.
"What are you doing Dei?" Deidara looked up at his little brother and handed him a small box filled with pastel colors.
"Its the perfect time to draw, un." Naruto smiled and held the box open for his brother as he reached for the paints and began to draw.
[~][~][~][~]With the gangs[~][~][~][~][~]
Both gangs were lined up in the parking lot staring each other down as the moon began to go down and the reign of the sun began in the early morning sky, until the reign of the moon began once more at night. "Akatsuki! What the hell do you want?" Neji spat, glaring at the gang known as the Akatsuki. Pein smirked and began to pace in front of the other gang, making them grow angrier by the second.
"It's simple … we want you ANBU out of our school and to be destroyed, but that's not why I asked you all here today. You see today we are getting new students, they're our property, so you'd better not be near them!" Neji growled and stood up straight, walking close to Pein and making both gangs tense and grow in uneasiness.
"No, we are going to have a piece of this new meat now that you have brought them to our attention." Pein growled and was about to lash out to the Hyuuga, when a Mercedes Benz pulled up the the parking lot around the corner. Both gangs forgot their anger and ran to the corner, pressing against each other as they watched the dark car being opened.
"It's probably the Uchihas and their damn money spending bastard ways." Both Uchihas rolled their eyes at Hidan and cleared their throats.
"Excuse us, but we're right here, how can that be us?" Everyone turned around, astonished that the Uchiha brothers were both there.
"Well if its not you, then who is … whoa." Was all Hidan could get out as two stunning blondes got out of the car and took a look around.
"Dei! Lets go up on the roof top and see the sun rise!" The taller blonde nodded and followed the smaller blonde.
"Those dobes, the roof top is closed, how will they get up there?" Sasuke said as he watched the blondes walk closer to the building. They all watched as both blondes smirked and held onto their cups even tighter before they did something that made everyone's jaw drop completely off.
They both jumped onto the railings ninja style and began to run ON the railings, jumping and hopping over obstacles. "Damn! Their both hot AND skilled, we've got to have them Leader-sama!" Hidan yelled, his mouth salivating for both the blondes as he watched them land perfectly on the roof top.
"No Hidan, we have to find out more about them. Come on, we're going to the roof and we're going to talk to them." Pein said as he walked over to the railings and jumped on them, just as the blondes had before.
Neji nodded to his gang and they jumped on the railings, already ahead of the Akatsuki as they jumped onto the building by the time Pein even noticed. "Damn! They keep doing that shit!" Everyone sighed as they watched Pein run on the railings and disappear.
They all gathered once more, everyone squishing together to watch the blondes; even if they were enemy gangs. "What are you doing Dei?" Deidara looked up at his little brother and handed him a small box filled with pastel colors.
"Its the perfect time to draw, un." Sasori's eyes grew wide as he looked in the direction the taller blonde looked at. He gasped as he noticed that it was the perfect time to draw, and the taller was equipped with pastels.
Naruto threw Deidara a look and he nodded with Naruto, pulling out a senbon and concealing it in his hand as the newcomer walked closer to the two of them. Suddenly out of this air, there was a poof and out came a gorgeous redhead with his hair as silky as the smaller blonde and as long as the taller one. "Naruto, Deidara, what are you guys doing up here?" Naruto and Deidara pointed out towards the scene before them.
"Naruto wanted to see the sun rise." Deidara said as Naruto shot him a withering glare.
"And Deidara wanted to draw it!" Deidara glared at the still glaring Naruto before both of them busted out laughing. "So what's up Kyuubi? Any news on Baa-chan?" Kyuubi smirked and nodded, staring at the scene before him.
"Yeah, she said, and I quote, 'Don't disturb my fucking sleep about stupid matters such as school maps! Look for them yourselves! And Until I wake up, go to the classes your brothers have, since they both have the same classes together.' So yeah, I get to hang out with you guys all day, how is that for a good first day at school?" Kyuubi said as he sighed and stared at the morning sun; it really was beautiful.
"So wait, now we have three new students coming to our school?" Asked Tenten as she eyed the blonde duo and the red head.
"Looks like it, but just in case, we'll only ask the blonde ones, I have a feeling the redhead won't do shit for us, only his brothers." Neji said as the blonde duo and the redhead stared up at the sky.
"Sasuke, you and Itachi try to get some information on them, lets see where they come from because no ordinary people can do that." Sasuke and Itachi both nodded and sighed; they did not want to get mixed up with anyone, but if fan boys are needed to be made, they will be made.
"So Deidara, is that drawing of yours finished?" Deidara looked up at Kyuubi and nodded, satisfied with himself as he showed Kyuubi his painting. Sasori and the others gasped as they were greeted with an exact photocopy of the rising sun about 10 minutes ago, even Kyuubi and Naruto gasped.
"Wow Dei, you've outdone yourself this time. Its looks so beautiful." Kyuubi complemented, making Deidara giggle and Sasori swoon over the tall blonde.
"Thanks, but its not so great, I could have used more shadow on the clouds, a little bit more gray on the misty city, and those kids that were there the minute we came up to the roof vanished without a trace, so I used shadows to emphasize that there were people there, un." Sasori was impressed, he thought only he could catch the small details such as those on a painting. Pein and Neji weren't so impressed.
"God, he saw us there when he got up? How is that possible? We were all under a huge tree that should have blocked his way." Neji said as he moved closer to Pein to converse with him.
"You're right, these new guys might be handy to us in the near future, we have to keep an eye on them or else Orochimaru-sensei and Kabuto might get to them, and if that happens … all hell will break loose." Pein said, sharing a look with Neji as he nodded and began to turn to his group.
"Alright guys, lets get down and back to where we were before they came before they get suspicious ." the ANBU nodded and began to descend and run around the building to their original spots as Pein and the Akatsuki followed their lead.
"Hey Kyuubi, did you see anyone here when you came?" Naruto asked. Kyuubi took on a puzzled look and shook his head, trying to figure out if there was anyone he saw other than his grandmother. "Oh, cause we did, but once we got up here and took our eyes off of them, they were gone."
Kyuubi thought about what Naruto said then snapped his fingers. "Are those your missing guys?" Kyuubi said as he pointed down to the two gangs already fighting once again on their territory.
"Oh, I guess they moved. Come on guys, lets get back to the car in case someone finds it suspicious that a car like that is left all alone in a school." Both Deidara and Kyuubi nodded and they all began to jump over the railings and landed right in front of Naruto's car. Naruto and Deidara giggled as they opened the car and dumped their stuff in it, Kyuubi just smirked and rolled his eyes; he wanted to get the day over with and hang out with his brothers at home.
The trio walked around the corner and saw the two gangs glaring at one another as two, the leaders most probably, stood in the middle of the space in front of both gangs. "IO! You guys, could you help us out?" Naruto yelled as he ran over to them, Deidara and Kyuubi flanking him on both sides as the gangs stared at them.
"Damn, they're even more gorgeous in person." Muttered Hidan as Naruto, Kyuubi, and Deidara made it to both of the gangs.
"We can try, I'm Pein and this is my gang, the Akatsuki," Pein gestured to the group behind him as he called them out. "That's Kakuzu, Sasuke, Suigetsu, Kisame, Itachi, Hidan, and Sasori." Naruto, Deidara, and Kyuubi all smiled at the gang and turned to Neji, who cleared his throat for them to notice him.
"Hn, and I am Neji. This is my gang, the ANBU," Neji said as he gestured to the group behind him. "This is Tenten, Lee, Shikamaru, Chouji, Hinata, Kiba, and Shino." Naruto smiled at them while Deidara and Kyuubi both nodded their heads.
"Oh, we're sorry. I'm Naruto and I guess this is my gang; my brothers." Naruto gestured to his brothers as the Akatsuki and the ANBU all sweat dropped. "This is Deidara, and this is Kyuubi. We're all new to this school and well … we need a map, but our grandmother doesn't want to get her ass up and look for one. So, do you guys happen to have one on you?" The ANBU and Akatsuki both shook their heads as Naruto scratched the back of his head and turned to Kyuubi.
"Now what? Should we wait until Baa-chan gets here, or should we just wander around and not give a shit?" Kyuubi giggled and shook his head, looking over to both of the groups as they stared curiously over at them.
"Why not ask them if they could show us to our classrooms and then tonight, Baa-chan can give us our maps so we can know the entire school?" Naruto nodded and smiled his award-winning sexy smile of his as he turned his gaze at the unsuspecting gangs.
"Um … does anyone know where the rooms for … English 12 with Kakashi, Calculus with Anko, IB Civics and Economics with Iruka, AP Biology with Orochimaru, Honors Art with Kurenai, and P.E. with Gai are? We need to know these rooms beforehand so we aren't trapped in the halls or chased around by those damn fans … good thing we're not in the same school though, right Kyuubi?" Kyuubi nodded and grimaced as the memory of his "fans" came back to him.
"Yeah we know where that is. Sasuke, Itachi, and Sasori have all those classes." Pein said as he pushed the guys over to them.
Neji took a step forward and smiled. "And Hinata, Kiba, and Shikamaru have those as well." The Uzumaki trio smiled and nodded, preferring to walk closer to the ANBU gang members instead of the Akatsuki.
"Well thanks, could we go now? Cause me and my brothers have somewhere to be before school starts." They all nodded and began walking, but Naruto stopped them.
"Wait! I forgot my stuff in the car, and Deidara you left yours there as well." Deidara nodded and walked with Naruto as the rest stayed behind and eyed the car; all except Kyuubi of course. Naruto and Deidara smirked as Kiba began to drool over the car and Sasuke and Sasori just stared at them.
"Alright, lets get going, first stop is locker 234, 236, and 238." Naruto said as he read his locker numbers. Sasuke, Itachi, and Sasori perked up and grinned, walking over to the Uzumaki trio and walking them inside.
"Those are the lockers beside ours, we'll take you." Sasuke said as they all left Kiba, Hinata, and Shikamaru behind.
Naruto looked over his shoulders and smiled at them, "Well come on, we want everyone to show us, not just these guys." Kiba grinned and walked forward with Hinata and Shikamaru behind him smiling brightly.
"You think Naruto will join our gang?" Kiba asked, as he watched Sasuke try to grab Naruto's ass, but failed.
"Yeah, he seems to be more at home with us, though Deidara seems to like Akatsuki more and Kyuubi isn't interested at all." Shikamaru said as they neared the lockers. Kiba sighed and walked up to Naruto's locker, smiling and turning to the locker beside it.
Naruto smiled at Kiba and felt relieved that Kiba would have his locker next to his. "Alright then, lets get a move on. I need to go see if I can leave a few papers with Shuzine-nee and also Yamato-sensei wanted us to bring that palm tree specimen from the beach house, Kyuubi did you bring it?" Kyuubi nodded and dug his hand into his jacket pocket, bringing out a small tree in a pot protected by glass.
"Good, I brought in the mungdar beetle for him yesterday, along with the poison-less cobra for Anko-sensei, the poppy for Kurenai-sensei, but I still have the green spandex for Gai-sensei and his pupil, whom we still haven't met. And we still need the pervert books for Kakashi, and the scroll for Iruka. Which Deidara should have, am I right?" Deidara nodded and pulled out a box filled with books and a huge scroll.
"Alright, so that also leaves … TONTON! Holy shit! I forgot Tonton!" Kyuubi chuckled and reached into his book bag for the sleeping pig.
"Next time, don't leave her in my room Naruto." Naruto rolled his eyes and turned to their tour guides, who were staring at them in a "WTF" manner.
"Oh, sorry. I guess we should explain. We used to live on a beach, but our grandmother, Tsunade, made us come here for school. And since we haven't seen our teachers in years, we decided to bring them gifts from our beach house." Everyone nodded and stared dumbfounded as Naruto, Deidara, and Kyuubi began to walk and carry their stuff.
They walked all around the school, going to every teacher and leaving a gift for them. When they reached Kakashi's room, Sasuke, Itachi, Sasori, Kiba, Shikamaru, and Hinata couldn't believe how much Kakashi cried just by seeing the big box filled to the brim with books; perverted books. Once they left Kakashi with that, they made their way to Orochimaru.
"Hey, what did you get Great Uncle Orochimaru, un?" Asked Deidara as they walked closer and closer to his room.
"You'll see." Naruto said as he entered the room. Sitting at his desk, looking as creepy as ever, was Orochimaru, with his teaching assistant, Kabuto. "Hey Great Uncle Oro! Guess what I brought you!" Orochimaru looked up from his planning and smiled as Naruto walked closer to him.
"What?" Naruto smiled and pulled out his hand, showing off the purple snake that was wrapped around his arm. "MANDA! Oh how did my little baby get there Naruto?" Naruto smiled and uncoiled Manda, leaving him on the table.
"I found him in our new house, he wanted to welcome us personally I guess. I also got Kabuto something too!" Kabuto perked up and Naruto motioned for him to come closer, putting a small rectangular box in his hand. Kabuto smiled and opened it up, not caring if anyone saw what it was.
Once it was uncovered, Kabuto blinked, and blinked again, blinking a third time just to see if it was right, for in his hand, Kabuto was holding a dildo. "What the fuck Naruto!" Naruto giggled and turned to a very pink faced Orochimaru.
"Well seeing as you two won't take the initiative to go out together, I just thought this would relieve some stress, that's all." Kabuto turned a light pink and instantly hid the device in his bag, turning to yell at Naruto, but finding him gone.
"NARUTO!" Naruto chuckled as they ran away, feeling happy that he got to play one more prank on Kabuto. Finally they made it to their last errand; Gai-sensei. They all entered the gym, the Uzumaki trio in awe, the others just to help. They found Gai hanging upside down on a rope, something that the others thought impossible, but the Uzumaki trio thought fun.
One by one, they grabbed a hold of a rope and began to climb, leaving the others to watch in awe as they hung down and tapped Gai on the shoulder. "HEY GAI-SENSEI!" Kyuubi yelled and giggled when Gai almost fell.
"Why if it isn't my youthful students from long ago! What brings you here this early in the morning?" Naruto smiled and half hugged the green monster; the green reminding him of why he was here.
"To give you something Gai-sensei!" Naruto did a front flip and landed on his feet as he reached into his jacket to pull out the spandex suit. Gai's eyes became watery and he jumped down, not landing as gracefully as Naruto, but he still nailed it.
"Oh … my … god! You found it! The same exact suit they used to make all those years ago before they discontinued it! I'm down to my last pair, how did you find it?" Naruto smiled while Deidara and Kyuubi both smirked.
"We found it in a store near our beach house, un. We bought a lifetime supply of them for you … and your mini-me that we hear so much about, un." Gai smiled and nodded his thanks, crushing the boys in one of his huge bear hugs before he let them go and skipped off to try it on.
"Well that was … unexpected. Come on, we have class and it starts in 15 minutes, we have to go to the cafeteria in order to get in." Everyone nodded and followed after Sasuke as he made his way over to the cafeteria.
As they entered the crowded cafeteria, it became quiet with the hushed whispers of the students talking about the three new students. Most of the girls fainted, some guys nose-bled, but everyone stared at the stunning Uzumaki trio being escorted by the most sexy of Akatsuki, and most friendly of ANBU.
Naruto giggled and moved closer to his brothers as they walked closer to two tables filled with both gangs. "Hey guys, I think we should have a little fun, don't you think?" Deidara and Kyuubi both raised a finely sculpted eyebrow and smirked at Naruto, making another wave of fans faint.
"What are you planning?" Kyuubi asked as he watched Naruto smirk at both gangs.
"It's simple, they each want us to join their gang, but they're at war. They'll probably fight for us to join their gangs, so I say we join their gangs, save the violence, and convince them to do a prank war instead. Though Kyuubi … you won't get to be in a gang. Just to make it fair, no hard feelings." Kyuubi smirked and nodded, feeling like he already knew that.
"Alright, so I won't join, if they insist, I can beat some ass?" Kyuubi asked; liking that idea. Naruto rolled his eyes but nodded none the less.
"Alright, so you join ANBU and I'll join Akatsuki … but I want us to make the prank slips, un." Deidara said as they got closer and closer to the two gangs; thankfully the loudness of the cafeteria made it impossible for anyone to listen to their conversation.
Naruto nodded and sped up his walk, too tired of the long walk to the gang tables, but was stopped by the fan girls.
"OMG! WILL YOU MARRY ME?"
"No! He'll marry me!"
"Oh hell no! That bitch is MINE!"
"What did you say? He will marry me! Right, hot guy?"
Naruto's left eye twitched in annoyance at the fact that the girls didn't even know his name. "SHUT UP YOU WHORES!" The cafeteria fell silent as Naruto finally blew up on the fan girls.
"Can't you see I'm trying to go somewhere! And seriously! You don't even know my NAME, so how the hell would you know I would be interested? Besides, why the hell would I marry losers like you? First of all … you, brush your teeth, your mouth stinks! Second, I hate you all, so stop coming up to me with these ridiculous things! Thirdly, don't even BOTHER my brothers because we aren't interested in you all! And Finally … we're gay." Naruto left the crying girls with a proud smirk, followed by his brothers who were both smirking as well.
Sasuke and the others were all shocked as the Uzumaki trio walked away from them, heading straight towards their gangs. They all cursed, glaring at each other as they hurriedly made their way to the gangs.
"Well, what brings the Uzumaki trio here to us?" Asked Pein as he smirked over towards Neji. Naruto turned to Neji and smiled.
"We have business with the both of you. We have studied you guys and … it's obvious you're all going to go into a war over who joins who, and after there will be a war over the school. We have a proposition for you all." Neji quirked his eyebrow and shared a look with Pein.
"Well what is this famous proposition of yours?" Naruto smirked and looked over at his brothers.
"We'll join your gangs – well only me and Dei, Kyuubi doesn't want to be in a gang and if you mess with him, he will kick your asses." Pein and Neji shared a disbelieving glance, but nodded none the less. "Also … instead of violence, as it usually is with gangs, we propose a prank war. If you guys do this, we will definitely enter your gangs, but if you don't … consider yourselves the enemies of the Uzumaki trio." Naruto sent an evil smirk at both tables, making everyone shiver in fear, but Sasuke shiver in want.
"Alright, so who goes where and how are these 'prank wars' going to be held?" Pein said after much discussion with Neji.
"Good of you to ask. Well … I'll be going into ANBU and Deidara will be going to Akatsuki. Me and Deidara will make the dares with Kyuubi so it will be fair, and if we wrote them, it means that we would do them, so there better not be a pansy here!" Everyone nodded and gulped, wondering what they had gotten into now.
"Kyuubi will write them down, evenly distribute them, and hold the scores, by the end of … three months? The winner will be decided. Also … you all get to do one dare for the whole week, so time them right." Everyone nodded and looked at Pein and Neji for any objections, seeing as there were none, they turned to a smirking Naruto.
"Good … we'll meet at lunch time to give out the dares, cross your fingers!" Deidara and Naruto giggled at the look in their eyes as Kyuubi took a picture and smirked.
"Oi, wait I have one question!" Everyone looked at Kyuubi as he stared at them. "If you're all rivals and enemies and stuff … why the hell do you sit together, talk to each other, and discuss things with each other?" Everyone blushed and looked away, no one knowing why any of those things happen.
"Oh well … see you all at lunch!" Kyuubi said as he followed after his brothers.
"Okay so … how many slips should we make, un?" Deidara asked as he watched the small group from the gangs behind them try to listen to their conversation.
"Erm … well … I've kinda just made a bunch of them already … we all have." Kyuubi and Deidara raised an eyebrow as they entered Kakashi's room, Kakashi in a closet reading his new found books given to him by Naruto. "Remember when we made those dares before, the ones we wanted to pull here? I've got about 17 of those, we can use them on these guys while we make some more … all we have to do is change them around." Deidara smirked and nodded while Kyuubi sighed and held out his hand.
"Hand them over then. Since both of you are in a gang, you both can't always be there when I make the dares." Kyuubi said as he smirked and Naruto and Deidara gaped at him.
"NANI?" They both yelled as Naruto handed him the jar full of dares.
"Just what you heard, now get on over there with your respective groups … we'll meet up again in the last few minutes before lunch so you guys can take the dares to them." Naruto and Deidara nodded as they went their separate ways.
Naruto smiled as he walked over to Kiba, Hinata, and Shikamaru. "Hey guys! What do you guys think you'll get?" Hinata blushed and looked away as Kiba grinned and Shikamaru yawned.
"I'm thinking something amusing, or maybe even risky! Something like … bugging the crap out of Suigetsu! Fuck that would be hilarious, and the good part about it is … they WONT kick my ass!" Naruto chuckled and shook his head as he sat down.
"Hey, you guys got anything good to snack on? Cause I'm fucking starving." Naruto said as his stomach growled to emphasize his point. Kiba chuckled and patted Naruto's back sympathetically as he reached into his bag, pulling out two boxes of strawberry pocky and one box of chocolate. " OH MY FUCKING GOD! You have POCKY!" Naruto yelled excitedly as he jumped around a laughing Kiba.
"Calm down Kitsune, it's just pocky." Kiba said as he gave the blonde the boxes. Sasuke watched as the blonde slowly opened them and took one stick out, licking it slowly up and down, letting his tongue wet every surface of it and suck it into his mouth. He watched as Naruto sucked at the small lucky stick, as Naruto's tongue massaged the pink strawberry flavoring off of the stick, and finally nibbling it slowly; savoring every single piece of it before it was gone. Sasuke watched mesmerized as Naruto repeated the process, wanting very much to be in the stick's place, wondering how Naruto's mouth would feel like on him.
Sasuke was snapped out of his musings as Itachi bumped into him, Sasori smacking Itachi in the head and making him stagger back. "Hey, sorry otouto, Sasori is playing around." Sasuke nodded as Deidara came into view.
"Hey, un. Naruto and Kyuubi thought it would be better if I hung out with you guys. So here I am, un." They all nodded dumbfounded as Deidara took a seat beside Sasori, taking out his sketch pad and cursing.
"Fuck! … Sasuke, could you do me a favor, un?" Sasuke perked up as Itachi and Sasori both sulked about not being the ones to help Deidara.
"Sure, what is it?"
"Could you go over there to Naruto and ask him if he has my tool box? It seems like I don't have it, un." Sasuke nodded and got up, walking over to the still pocky savoring blonde.
"Hey dobe." Sasuke said as he stood over the blonde.
Naruto rolled his eyes and bit off the pocky stick harshly, making Sasuke internally wince for some reason. "What do you want teme?" Sasuke smirked and stared at the blonde for one more minute.
"Simple, Deidara asks if you have his tool box." Naruto perked up and smiled, unknowingly dazzling the raven as he bent down to retrieve a huge black box and tossed it into Sasuke's waiting arms.
"There … hey teme? Could you do me a favor and give this chocolate pocky box to Kyuubi and this strawberry one to Deidara?" Sasuke nodded and left the happy blonde, still in a daze.
He walked over to Kyuubi and coughed slightly, making him look up from his scribbling and stare at him. "Uh … Naruto sends you this chocolate pocky, and if you're lonely … you could go over to the Bijuus and hang out with them. They'd be glad to have a nine tails in their tailed beasts gang. And don't worry, they aren't like us, they just protect us from each other." Kyuubi smiled and nodded, getting together his things as Sasuke walked away.
Deidara smiled as Sasuke walked back, pocky box in hand and the surprisingly heavy huge black tool box in arms. "Here you go Deidara." Deidara smiled at Sasuke and took the box, surprising Sasuke with his strength as he lifted it easily with one hand.
"Thanks, un." Deidara said as he opened it up to reveal a surprising collection of colors, varying from markers to color pencils. "So … what do you guys think you'll get as a prank, un?" Itachi perked up from his sulking and thought for a long minute.
"Well, I think they will probably be challenging and dangerous, maybe a bit degrading to our prides, but all in all they will be challenging to do, but not impossible." Sasori nodded as Sasuke rolled his eyes.
"I say it will be on the pervy side, since we're all pretty much just two rival groups of perverts. But then again, we don't know you guys, and you guys don't know us. So its kind of difficult to guess what we will get, we'll just have to wait and see." Sasuke said as he looked out the window.
[~][~][~][~][~]5 Minutes Before Lunch[~][~][~][~][~]
Naruto and Deidara smirked as they received their jars, both knowing full and well that whatever new pranks and old pranks there were inside, they were all funny.
"Alright, so before we go on … I've decided to join a gang. It's the Bijuus and they're basically just here to protect those two gangs from each other. They also know about this, so … you guys won't get into too much trouble from us. Just keep the pranks away from us and you'll be fine. Now go on and have fun." Kyuubi said as he watched the smirking blonde duo. They all knew that no matter where Kyuubi was, he would be a target as well.
As the blonde duo walked over to the two tables located under two cherry blossom trees, they smirked knowingly at each other, both excited about which prank they got. "Alright Deidara, good luck on yours." Naruto said as they began to arrive.
Deidara smirked and nodded, "You too, un." Naruto smirked and stopped, with Deidara standing right beside him.
"Alright, we've got the pranks. Now all you have to do is pick one and do it during this week. Remember, these are based on what we would do, so if we can do these, so can you. Anyone who objects can go sit with the Bijuus until we're done." Naruto said as he gave out a creepy evil smile to them all.
Both Deidara and Naruto lifted up the jars, signaling both gangs to hurry their asses up and pick one. Pein and Neji went first as the rest of the gangs filed on in.
Neji – Place a walkie talkie under a toilet and every time someone comes near say, "I'll eat your shit" don't disguise your voice. - 20 points. Neji groaned in annoyance, a small embarrassed blush appearing on his face as he reread his prank.
Pein – Walk up to Hinata and squeeze her breasts while saying, "I want me some Milk!" then chase her around with a bowl and a box of cereal. - 20 points. Pein quirked an eyebrow and eyed Hinata as she fiddled with her shirt; trying to desperately hide the big melons that look so obvious in any shirt.
Kakuzu – Grab asses and say, "My handy made friends with your assy" with a serious, straight face. - 15 points. Kakuzu smirked and and folded his slip.
Lee – Dress as a drag-queen and ask Itachi why he isn't in costume too. Extra 5 points if you attack him with make up. - 25 points. Lee got up with a determined face after he sat down and pointed at Itachi with a glint in his eyes. Itachi shivered in fear and hid a little behind Sasuke.
Sasuke – Stalk Naruto home and take a shower with him, extra 5 points if you DON'T get killed or even a scratch - 25 points. Sasuke smirked evilly and Naruto shivered in unknown excitement.
Naruto – Dirty talk to the other group, get them confused. - 10 points. You may also take another slip. Naruto raised an eyebrow and smirked as Kyuubi walked over, read his slip and nodded.
Naruto – Ask Kisame what type of fish is best to eat, when he answers, say he is wrong and that he is the best to eat then lick your lips and pull out a fork. - 20 points. Naruto smirked and nodded, placing his slips into his pocket and smirking to Deidara.
Suigetsu – Randomly attack Kiba with a spoon, when he asks you why you're doing it say, "You ate my yogurt, I will kill you with my spoon!" keep it up all day, even in front of the teachers. - 25 points. Suigetsu smirked and glanced at Kiba as he took his out.
Kiba – Follow Suigetsu around and make sure he knows you're there, then randomly molest him and say, "I like pie" then run away. - 20 points. Kiba gulped, but caught the glance Suigetsu sent his way, knowing that Suigetsu wanted to do his own prank on him.
Kisame – Talk to people and stare at inappropriate places. Extra 5 points if you salivate - 15 points. Kisame smirked as he walked back to his seat.
Chouji – Ask Deidara and Itachi if they have any good suggestions for shampoos and conditioners, then say you want to eat their hair and randomly attack them. - 20 points. Chouji gulped and sat down, his nervousness showing every time he looked at Itachi and Deidara.
Deidara – Lean on someone and say, "Your smell arouses me," then proceed to grope them. Extra 5 points if you say, "Meet me outside during lunch" - 25 points. Deidara palled at the prank and stared at a smirking Kyuubi as he stared at his prank.
Hinata – Go up to Sasori and say, "You look HOT today." Extra 5 points if you then insult him and say Gaara looks better. - 15 points. Hinata blushed and almost fainted as she wobbly made her way to her seat.
Sasori – Randomly corner someone to the lockers and get up into their personal space and say, "Moo … Milk!" Then proceed to feel them up. - 15 points. Sasori just glared at his slip of paper before stuffing it away and shrugging.
Tenten – Tell someone they look sexy, then look disgusted and mime the smelly mime next to them as people walk past. - 10 points. Tenten giggled as she sat down with a very sick looking Hinata.
Hidan – Hump Shikamaru's leg every time someone says your name, find him if he's not there. - 20 points. Hidan grinned as he gazed at Shikamaru.
Shino – Get a porn book and ask random people innocently, "Will you read me this bed time story that Kakashi-sensei gave me?" - 15 points. Shino just shrugged and sat down.
Itachi – Confess your undying love to Shino and stalk him all day. (must be convincing) - 15 points. Itachi sighed and looked at Shino as he thought up a plan.
"ALRIGHT! Everyone has their pranks … You HAVE to make sure that Kyuubi sees you DO it or at least know you did. So heads up and eyes peeled. Now off you all go!" Naruto said as he smirked to Deidara.
"So Dei, what did you get?" Deidara rolled his eyes and walked over to the trees and sat down.
"None of your business Naru-chan, un!" Naruto rolled his eyes and laid down next to him.
"Well I got to get two pranks, I didn't even know we could do that!" Deidara stared at Naruto before chuckling.
"I guess its either a head start, or a punishment. I'd go with the latter, un." Deidara said as he watched the clouds with Naruto. Naruto sighed and rubbed his eyes.
"I guess we'll never know … unless Kyuu tells us." Just then the bell rang, announcing the end of lunch and they both ran away. Tomorrow, would be the start of a very interesting new week of school.
[~][~][~][~][~]End of Chapter One[~][~][~][~][~]
Me: So yeah … this just came to mind, it'll probably be a LONG time before I update this one, since it's only supposed to be how I let my muse roam free. As you can see I've entered a dry spell in my funniness (even if I was never funny to begin with!)
Naruto: BRING OUT THE SASUNARU!
Me: And the fat lady sang! o .o
Sasuke: Damn right she sang! Did you know that now since Naruto WANTS it, the sex has been better?
Me: WOAH! Really? Tell me while I make Itachi listen!
Itachi: What did I do to deserve this? TT/^\TT
Me: You were impatient about that sex I promised you and tried to kill me!
Kyuubi: I'm not even in this … I'm only here to find out where Itachi goes.
Me: Well Now you will be my minion! Now Minion … Sex ITACHI!
Itachi: … THERE IS A GOD!
Kyuubi: Oka—ghdfjdhd! WHAT?
Me: Damn right there is a god! Its me! … and then the ones I make a god to me, like my fan fic writing inspires … but I wont name them cause … its a LONG list xD
Sasuke: WHERE IS THE SASUNARU SMEXINESS HERE?
Me: I TOLD you … this story is for my muse! She needs to BREATHE!
Naruto: … well … now what?
Itachi: Now Sasuke rapes you.
Naruto: Oka—ghfhdkshf! WHAT?
Sasuke: Finally brother … you make sense to me! :D
Itachi: I love you brother!
Sasuke: I love yo—fgkghkdh! I mean … I'm not at that stage yet aniki.
Itachi: TT/^\TT
Me: No worries Itachi, you have Kyuubi! :D -gives a tied-up Kyuubi to Itachi-
Itachi ;/U\; Yay!
Me: lolz but you're forgetting something …
Itachi: Right! Reviews! Review to make the muse feel better and bring back the funny, though there was never any funny to begin with.
Me: That's more like it :D lolz See ya next time!
Sincerely, Bad Writer xD