Author: 946MishaV (MishaV946)

Rating: k

Summary: Alec dreams a little of Max…

Spoilers: After FN.

Disclaimer: I pulled the Christmas cracker apart, hoping I would at least own Alec McDowell…all I got was a lousy pink shoe! *sad face*

Status: COMPLETE

A/N: Lets assume, Lydecker was saved and his back J

Dream A Little Of Me…

I hitch the backpack a little higher onto my shoulders pulling at the straps adjusting the height on my back. The three of us walk back onto the windy trail that leads us straight to camp site. And all this time I knew I should've let you know where I was going and what I was up to. Too late now that I see you; arms crossed over your chest, leaning your weight on one side and the darkest and enraged eyes I haven't seen in a long time.

"Alec, where the hell have you been?" you hiss, never taking your eyes away from me to even look at the company that we have.

The other guys' quickly scurried away at the intensity in your mannerism.

"I've been worried sick not knowing where the hell you were and if anything happened to you." your voice hitched slightly.

"Maxie, I'm okay. You're okay." I leaned forward, my hand going to your face caressing your warm cheek with my thumb, "I'm sorry I didn't tell

you where I was going. I just wanted it to be a surprise." I smile at you. Damn I love it when you pout, it makes me want to kiss you more and more.

"Don't do that to me next time. I thought I lost you." your voice thick with emotion.

You move away, walking behind me towards the large green gates. I follow suit, we had rules for no one goes beyond those gates unless you want to be attacked. You and I tried to make this place safe, safe for transgenics and for the homeless ordinaries who decided to chance their lives with us after TC burned down to the ground. But all we managed as a safety net were the tall walls and metal green gates that keep us safe from the outside world-for now at least. I walk next to you, apologizing for the third time since I got back. But before I could explain to you that I got you some baby supplies a hand behind the gate weave its' way through a small opening, unlatching the restrains leaving you and I vulnerable. I grab your hand, leading you away to safety but you are you and you have to know what's going on before you make a run for it.

"Max don't leave the premises!"

You don't leave; instead you stand on the threshold scouting the surroundings a bit more. Satisfied, you turned around unmoved from the spot facing me with the cutest pout on your face and shrug.

"It's clear, no one's there."

I shake my head, taking my time to approach you. You've calm down, now with a smile on your face you rub your hand across your swollen belly. My heart swells in joy. A frightening explosion jerks your body forward slightly. Birds fly away from their nests in the trees and beneath the gutters of our homes. Your eyes wide in shock mirroring my own, we look down at your chest. My heart died along with the chrisom red liquid that rapidly stained down the front of your white loose top. My fear mingles with yours, as I blur towards you in time before you hit the ground. I lay you down, trying to add pressure to the gunshot wound. So much blood. Too much blood spilling out of you onto the pale paving, it's now right up to my elbows too. I peel away my shirt, placing it over you but at the same time I want to cover you just so that I don't freak out. I'm freaking out. My heart clenches in an iron jaw grip. I can hear shouting behind me. It's our people-I think.

"No Maxie…oh please, please don't die." I beg, I can't see a damn thing-everything is so blurry. I realize why. My tears are gushing down my face, eyes can't keep up with the flood that it's causing.

My hands keep slipping and sliding as I apply pressure to your wound. You gasp in short breaths, coughing blood. I know it hurts, but please please hang on. You grab my arm in weak hold, your eyes wide in horror and pain.

"Save the baby."

I stopped moving, my heart stopped beating. I stopped breathing. Too scared to move, I feel like I've been ripped apart. My body tingles in fear. Your hand goes limp, falling to your side. Your eyes remain open, unfocussed and glassy. Your chest remains still, even though I will it back to life.

Panting heavily, I bolted upright in my bed. Cold sweat dripped from my long hair into my eyes. I scan my surroundings, exhaling a deep satisfied breath. I am safe, in my apartment room on my bed. A small wail catches my attention; I turn to my left with a small smile stretching across my wet cheek. Scooting the little bundle up, I carry our son towards the widow in the bright moonlight.

"There, there now little Max." I hold Max in one arm, playing with the infant's finger to calm him.

"Your mum would've have been the prefect parent-at night. She never used to sleep. And you definitely have her genes."

I smile at little Max's happy squeal, gripping tightly on my index finger. My heart soared in both pain and joy, but that changed at the infant's look that turned curious.

"I miss your mama. She was brave, courageous and tough. But beneath all of that, she was warm, funny and loving. And I know how much she would've wanted to be here with you. One day when you are old enough I will tell you stories about your mum, Max"

I sway my body gently willing our son to go back to sleep. I'm not a night person per se, but I knew I had to quickly adjust to this new life. Placing our son in the crib next to my bed, I lay back down, my left arm above my forehead while my right arm stretched across my abs. I close my eyes, hoping that sleep will consume me, but too afraid to dream. I feel a hand move across my forearm, and allow you to move it away from my face.

"I don't want to open my eyes." I whisper.

"Look at me." The voice beckoned gently.

I turn my head to my left, pry open my tear-filled eyes, "Why did you have…"

"Shh, not now. I'm so proud of you." your voice hitches.

"I hate you." I say firmly.

You smile sadly at me, "you and I both know that not true. I had to leave."

"You should've fought to stay!" I whisper firmly.

"You had to save the baby."

"I did, and you…you left after Lydecker saved you."

"I told you, I have to keep my family safe even if it means blood on my hands."

"When is it going to stop Max? When is it going to be enough? You've already left months ago."

"I have to go; Mole's waiting for me outside." You get up to leave. I mirror your movements half way across the room.

"Answer me Damn IT!" I yell. Our heads turn towards the stirring infant, glad that little Max didn't wake up.

"How far have you gone Max? How many have you killed to keep us safe?" Concern, dread and despair dripping out of me.

"You rather not know." There's no shame or guilt in your tone or in your eyes.

I shake my head sadly, tears rolling down my cheeks. I sniff, looking away from you, wiping my tears with the palm of my hands, "I lost you." I whisper dreadfully.

"No you haven't." you stride towards me, "I'm right here."

"Yeah I have. My Max died that day our son was born, but the Max that was resurrected from the dead, is someone I don't recognize. You're killing people. I don't care if its vigilantes or Familiars or cops…you're killing them. The Max I knew wouldn't spill blood. She would expect that from me but her?" my voice hitches with thick emotions that I don't care to hide.

You look away, eyes landing towards little Max, "I have to go." You turn around, but stopped in your path, "I dream about you all the time. That one day you would understand why I have to do what I do. And I hope that when it's over you could forgive me for leaving in the first place."

I watch you leave without a second glance from you. My heart explodes in a million pieces. I fall to the ground on my knees, unable to move as I stare at the closed door. This time, there are no tears.

"I dream about my Max too."

The end…

A/N: So what do ya think? Good? Bad?