Hey everyone! I originally published this fic on AO3, but i thought it would be a good idea to share it here to, so it will help spread more awareness for this condition!
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"Maho, are you sure you're ready to get back on the field? I can take this match if you need to sit out..."
Sat in the back of Maho's strategy tent, Erika watched the commander straighten her uniform. Maho looked tired, but determined, even more so after being pestered all morning by Erika.
"The medical team gave me the all clear, I'm fine." Maho stated, catching Erika's eye in the mirror. Erika shuffled uncomfortably on her seat and findled with her fingers on her knees, then looked away from Maho's gaze. She was really worried about her friend, and it didn't help that Maho had been acting distant recently.
After suffering a mild concussion from an incident during training a week earlier, Maho had been suspended from tankery temporarily, and had been restless about the upcoming match with Pravda. It wasn't that she didn't trust Erika to win - it just made her feel better knowing that she could win against them for definite. After begging the medical team, and with a bit of persuasion from her mother, Maho was free to get back to tankery at last; albeit she would be jumping straight into a match after a week from being barred from regular training, but Maho enjoyed a challenge.
Checking that her hair was covering the bruising completely one last time, Maho turned back to Erika, who made eye contact once again.
"Let's go: the match will be starting soon."
With that, the two marched from their tent, and headed towards the transport truck, which would take them to the starting location of the match.
Erika bit her lip worriedly. She would never normally question Maho's wishes, but she couldn't help but have a bad feeling about the match.
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"Commander?"
Maho's Tiger I team were not expecting Maho to be able to bounce straight back after having a week off recovering from an injury, however they were starting to get concerned. Maho had kept getting quite spaced out, and would stare blankly at the hatch for expended periods of time.
With the match coming to a climax, and Pravda pressing forward eagerly, the tanks of Kuromorimine were anxiously awaiting the orders from their prized commander, who seemed to be currently having a staring contest with the inside of the tank.
The radio receiver around Maho's neck buzzed and vibrated, asking for support and advice of what to do with the enemy, but of course Maho didn't give an answer.
The radio operator desperately tapped in to Erika, asking her to take control while they tried to get Maho round.
It appeared Maho still hadn't fully recovered from her concussion, and thus would have to forfeit her position and the match would have to be continued without her - Maho would be devastated if they stopped the match just because of her. Thankfully, their tank was not the flag tank, although the remaining members of her team wished to compete on her behalf.
The loader, Minna, took direction of the tank immediately.
"Hanna, I need you to radio Erika and let her know we are forfeiting Maho - she's too unwell to carry on the match, she's going to need to take command. After that, you must radio the emergency medical team and have them come to-"
Minna was interrupted by a small cry from Maho.
The commander had gone from staring at the wall, to slumped forward in her seat, letting out a small pained wail. As Minna leaned to help Maho up, a shower of shells rained down on them, the sound of ricochetting bullets would normally be no issue, but at the moment the team were in no state to form an attack or even defend themselves.
Hanna hurriedly radioed for Erika, and explained the situation. The Tiger I separated itself from the other tanks it had travelled with, to try and find a safe area to get Maho to until the medical team could come for her.
As Minna was directing Trude, a warm liquid dripped on her hand. Maho was bleeding from her mouth, and as Minna had a hand on her chest it had dribbled down. After the whimpering has stopped, Minna assumed that Maho had just fallen unconscious, however that was not the case.
The commander seemed to be biting down on her tongue, so hard that blood has been drawn.
"Can someone pass me a rag? She's bitten herself." Minna asked, but Hanna responded,
"She might be having a fit, don't put anything in her mouth. We have to get her out of the tank!"
Firstly, Minna was impressed that Hanna could tell from very few signs, but with the warning looming over them, Minna ordered for the tank be brought to an immediate half.
Maho was stiff as a board, but they needed to try and get her out of the tank as soon as possible. Between Minna and Trude, the driver, they started to try and get her out of the tank, which was exceedingly difficult and given they had limited time because Maho could have a full on seizure, and it would be bad if she lashed out while inside the tank.
Just as they were laying her on the floor, Maho's body began to jerk and her arms and legs lashed out. Maho moaned loudly, her face contorted in pain as she writhed on the floor, blood still dripping from her mouth. Minna and Trude watched on worriedly, unsure of what to do.
Hanna, having radioed for urgent medical assistance, had climbed out and knelt next to Maho, removing her jacket. She folded the jacket and placed it under Maho's head. She then quickly undid Maho's top buttons.
"C-can we not doing anything else?" Minna asked worriedly, speaking urgently over the sound of Maho's moans and groans. She wanted to hold Maho's hand, and tell her everything was okay, but with Maho's arms flailing all over the place, Minna couldn't even get close.
Hanna shook her head.
"We shouldn't retrain her, we're just going to have to wait." She said, surprisingly calm given the situation.
The time they waited after the conversation stopped wasn't anymore than thirty seconds, however it felt much longer to the girls stood around. It was painful to watch the commander they admired so much thrash around in pain on the hard ground.
Finally, after an eternity, the seizure seemed to be over. Minna took Maho's hand and spoke soft words of reassurance to her.
"We should but her in the recovery position"
Trude went to try and take Maho's other hand, while Hanna sat near her head, when she noticed something as Hanna and Minna rolled Maho onto her side.
"Hanna..." she nodded towards Maho's lower half with a pained expression, before removing her jacket and carefully laying it over Maho's now wet skirt and damp legs.
"Don't tell her." Hanna whispered in a hushed voice. If Maho was awake, she wouldn't have heard as it was almost mouthed. Minna also removed her jacket and placed it over Maho's torso, then she wiped the area around Maho's mouth with her sleeve.
Shortly before the medical team arrived, Maho began to show signs of regaining her consciousness, but she was very confused and anxious about the situation.
"Where.. am I?" She whispered hoarsely.
Minna wasn't even given time to answer when Maho suddenly vomited. Hanna and Minna pulled Maho up into a sitting position as she retched out her insides. Trude slowly stroked her back reassuringly.
The confusion alongside the vomiting wasn't helpful in the slightest, and Maho's eyes grew wide in fright as she was unsure of where she was, and she was continuously spewing from her mouth. The sound of guns firing in the distance had disappeared. Due to the medical emergency, the match had been paused, and the girls were to ceasefire while the medics took action.
At long last, the medical team arrived, and immediately rushed to Maho's assistance.
There was uproar among the girls of Kuromorimine, each worried and concerned about the temporary suspension of the match.
"What's going on?"
"Whose been hurt?"
"Why isn't the commander saying anything?"
Erika received a flood of voices through her radio, and sighed heavily. The members of her tank were aware of that something had happened with Maho, as they were the one who received the radio call and replayed the message to Erika - however the other members of the Kuromorimine senshado team were not aware of the situation.
Erika tapped into her communicator.
"There has been an issue involving Nishizumi-san, hence why I took command of the battle after her absence. Please do not worry, and once the match resumes I need you to focus and continue to perform to the best of your ability," Erika's words seemed to reassure the anxious girls, but it didn't put the whispers to rest.
Erika took a gulp of the sweaty, oily air inside the tank.
"We have to win, for Maho..." She whispered to herself.
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And that's how, Maho Nishizumi had earned herself another suspension from tankery, due to ill health.
If Maho felt well enough to stand, she would have been pacing restlessly around the medical tent, however her limbs were deadweight and her head spun uncomfortably. She couldn't remember what had happened. She last thing she remembered was asking her company to split into two, and the rest is black - next thing she knew, she was sat in the mud, vomiting down herself.
She had been rushed to the medical tent, where a quick examination took place, followed by a few tests, involving a breathalyser test, a pregnancy test and a few other small standardised tests. Of course she wasn't intoxicated, she was commanding a tank a few minutes earlier, and there wasn't a chance she was pregnant. Both these tests irritated Maho for they seemed impossible for her to come out 'positive' for them, but she complied.
With her head propped against a few pillows and a monitor or some kind attached to her arm, Maho closed her eyes and wished the nausea would subside and her limbs would react how she wanted them to, so she could move. Being as proactive as Maho was, it was near impossible to keep still when she felt as if she could be doing something, but her exhaustion was holding her back.
The medics had helped her rinse the blood form her mouth, and then checked her over for any other kind of injuries. She had been offered a change of clothes, which was just a spare pair of underwear and a long nightgown, but she preferred them to the muddy jacket and wet panties she had had on earlier. Maho had been told that a truck would be coming to pick her up, and the medics left the tent to give her some time to herself.
Maho grimaced just thinking about the embarrassing situation. The least she could do was hope that no footage of her had been captured on the camera, that would completely and utterly ruin her reputation.
Moaning under her breath, she turned onto her side, facing the entrance to the tent while pulling the blanket up to her ears to avoid the sight breeze.
Footsteps alerted her to an approaching visitor, but Maho didn't have the strength to lift her head again so she simply pretended she wasn't there.
"Maho." Her mother's voice called out to her, and she felt the blanket being slid over her head. Maho's eyes were damp from tears she didn't realise she'd been crying, but she opened them slowly to see her mothers stern gaze staring down at her.
"What happened?" Shiho asked, her voice flat and not giving anything away. Without giving Maho time to answer, Shiho spoke again.
"You're lucky this is an exhibition match. Itsumi has taken control, and the match will proceed." Shiho waited for a reaction form Maho, and when she didn't get one, she pressed.
"Maho what happened?"
"I don't know... I just blacked out. They told me I had a seizure..." Maho mumbled. Shiho didn't push for more details, nor did she correct Maho's mumbling.
"They told me which hospital they're taking you to, I will come over after the match. I need to stay behind to ensure all progresses smoothly."
Maho was hurting. It was the most humiliating and scary experience of her life and her mother wouldn't even come to the hospital with her. Maho nodded, then closed her eyes once again.
Shiho didn't say thing more, and instead she turned to leave the tent.
"Make sure you call me if anything changes," She muttered to the paramedic stood outside the tent as she left. Maho didn't hear that, for she was already asleep.
Maho woke a short while later, in a completely different location.
Rubbing her eyes slowly, she realised she was in a hospital room. The room was darkened and the curtains were drawn shut, with the lights dimmed. Maho weakly pushed herself into a sitting position, still feeling exhausted despite being in such a deep sleep she hadn't even woken when they moved her from the field medical bay.
Sighing, she checked her surroundings. Shiho wasn't there. There was still a wire stuck to her arm. Absentmindedly, Maho reached for the wire and pulled it off to stare at as it rested in her hands.
A nurse quickly came into the room and removed the wire from Maho's hands.
"Nishizumi-san, please do not remove any equipment." As the nurse fixed it back up to Maho, the brunette felt herself getting pushed back into the sheets, "Make sure you get some rest. We will be running a few more tests tomorrow and we will give you a few leaflets, and after that you can be discharged and can continue your recovery at home."
The nurse finished fixing the wire and double checked on the machine around her.
"Tomorrow...?" Maho spoke her thoughts out loud, and the nurse nodded.
"It's very late currently, I suggest you continue to sleep." After checking her watch the nurse spoke again, "it's 11PM"
Maho went silence as the nurse left. She was surprised at how late it was... Maybe her mother had been to visit her after all...? Maho drifted back asleep, feeling a little warmer inside, knowing that perhaps her mother did care enough to visit, she was just in too deep of a sleep to notice.
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"Maho..." the calm voice of her mother drifted into Maho's head. Squinting her eyes in the lights of the room, Maho raised her head and found the dark form in front of her.
"Mother..." Maho whispered, almost shocked to see her stood there.
Shiho smiled a little and patted her on the head.
"I came to pick you up. The hospital have said you can be discharged."
Maho sat up fully. A simple task was proved difficult as her arms could hardly support her weight felt as if she was wearing a lead hat for her head was so heavy.
"There's some paperwork I need to fill out for you, and some leaflets that we need to take back, so while I do that, get washed and dressed." Shiho ordered, placing a bag on the bed next to Maho. After peering in, Maho could see a few items from her wardrobe, and nodded at her mother.
"I won't be long." Shiho promised, before turning tail and walking at a brisk pace from the hospital room.
After her mother left, Maho set about waking herself up properly and preparing herself for the journey home. It was proving to be a little more difficult than she first imagined - her body just wasn't responding the way it normally did.
Maho dressed herself in the plain shirt and skirt that her mother had left for her, and slipped her feet into a pair of comfy trainers. Her limbs were aching but she pushed forward, not wanting to disappoint her mother who had kindly come to get her.
Maho recapped the events of the previous day, and gritted her teeth at the thought of her being caught in such a vulnerable position. Her teammates would probably never see her the same ever again. It didn't cross Maho's mind that she might not actually be allowed to do tankery again.
Shiho reentered the room, the tapping of her heels on the hard floor disturbing Maho's train of thought.
"Maho, are you ready?"
The younger girl nodded and stood up unsteadily, Maho walked slowly to her mothers side. Unsure of what exactly to do with her hand, Shiho placed it tenderly around Maho's shoulders in an attempt to show some love and support for her daughter - who appreciated the action greatly. A few tears ran down Maho's face and she let out a sob. Looking down in surprise, Shiho reached up to wipe Maho's tears.
It had been a long time since Shiho had seen her eldest daughter cry.
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Maho slept for three days. Tucked in her own futon, she slept soundlessly and only woke late into the evening for a few hours, to have something small to eat and use the bathroom, before falling straight back asleep again. Sometimes Maho would catch her mother, who would in turn fill her in on the events that had happened during the day.
"Maho, shall we bathe together?" Shiho asked suddenly on the second night, putting her cup of water down. Maho was taken aback, the last time she had taken a bath with her mother was when she was thirteen, and she was a lot more body conscious than she was back then. Shiho watched the expressions cross Maho's face, and felt a strong urge to take back her words out of a fear of being rejected.
"Okay,"
The two didn't have a close relationship at all, and being the head of the Nishizumi family had meant Shiho didn't have much time for her girls when they were younger, so they were mostly brought up by nannies and maids. As they had gotten older, Shiho realised that her parenting skills were not the best, but she felt as if she was too far gone to turn back. But at last she was trying to rekindle the relationship between her and Maho.
Scrubbing down Maho's body for her, Shiho could definitely tell that she had matured. Maho had much broader shoulders that she remembered; her arms and legs were also a lot more toned and packed with muscle.
As they rinsed off and settled in the bath, Shiho noticed that Maho had indeed taken after her and was rather large in the chest department. Sorrow struck Shiho; all this time Maho had taken after her in so many ways and she barely knew her daughter. She didn't know her interests outside of tankery - she didn't even know if Maho had any interests outside of tankery. Did Maho have any friends?
More questions of a similar variety passed through Shiho's mind as she made herself comfortable in the bath, not covering her body in any way - she had no need to feel self conscious in front of her own daughter. Maho didn't quite share the same opinion as she sank up to her shoulders and even under the water she had her hands across her chest.
Shiho sighed heavily. She had a lot to make up for, and to start with, she would just ask Maho with how she was doing.
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Four days had passed since her seizure, and Maho finally felt like getting up and dressed. Sunlight shone through the slightly parted curtains and onto the floor with provided some nice natural lighting for Maho to dress herself in. Unsure of what the day was, Maho put on her Kuromorimine uniform in case of her needing to go to class. Making sure her hair was tidy and uniform straight, she left her bedroom.
The Nishizumi residence was quiet, which was unusual. Maho sighed, thinking that she had probably missed the morning rush and it was later than she thought. Due to the quietness of the house, Maho suspected that it was early afternoon, and the maids were probably on their lunch break for she hadn't seen a single one since waking up.
Making her way to the dining room, Maho paused before opening the door to listen for any voices. They were none. The cheerful chatter of the maids normally left the house buzzing, but in this case it was almost silent.
Creaking as it did so, the door was slid open. Empty still. Wandering inside, Maho glanced around, taking in the room she had seen thousands of times before but somehow it seems different when empty. Running a hand along the smooth table, she continued to walk aimlessly around, drinking in her familiar surroundings.
"Maho?"
Maho stiffened as she heard her name and turned round slightly, her hand falling off the table. One of the servants who the Nishizumi's were closest to, , Kikuyo, was stood smiling a few metres behind her, "how are you feeling?" She asked gently, encouraging the brunette to sit down at the table she had been stroking for a while.
"Better..." Maho said, taking a seat. She was very hungry. Kikuyo smiled and walked back towards to kitchen,
"I'll fix you something up - the cooks are on their lunch break,"
Maho nodded in thanks and leant back in her seat. She could feel herself drifting away, losing herself in her thoughts, and she remained undisturbed until her lunch was ready.
Kikuyo reentered the room wheeling in a small cart with a lot of food on it. Even when it was just Maho, the Nishizumi staff certainly didn't skimp out or go half hearted. Kikuyo carefully tapped Maho to bring her around. Maho blinked a few times before realising where she was and who was tapping her.
"Lunch is ready," Kikuyo said softly, and started to place the food in front of her mistress. Maho was silent for the ordeal, and only when the food was all on the table, did she speak.
"Thank you..." Maho mumbled, and reached out to fill her plate, but found herself stuck on what to chose. Suddenly she didn't feel as hungry as she thought.
"Sit down please Kikuyo. Have something to eat." Maho was feeling unsettled by eating alone - normally there would at least be a few maids eating with her, if not her mother. Kikuyo took a seat near to Maho and seemed to be watching the girl closely.
Maho wasn't even sure if she could stomach any of the finer foods Kikuyo had prepared, and instead stuck with a simple bowl of rice.
Kikuyo carefully selected what she wanted to eat, being careful not to take too much of anything in the case that Maho should want it: despite that being unlikely at that moment.
The two ate in silence.
"Miho called," the dark haired servant said, catching Maho's attention, "she wanted to drop by as soon as she heard about what happened, but since you were sleeping, your mother told Miho she would call her back when you're awake. Would you like me to relay the message now?"
Maho gave an immediate nod. She missed Miho a lot and it had been too long since the two sisters had seen each other.
"Very well, I will call her immediately." Kikuyo stood and left the room.
Maho was left alone once again.
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Her eyes already heavy and her brain tired, Maho sighed as she stared down at the stack of worksheets Erika has placed on her desk. The ash blonde girl was very apologetic about the sheer mass of the workload, but it wasn't something she could control.
"Sorry, Commander!" Erika bowed her head low, hoping Maho would forgive her - of course she would.
"It's fine. It's my own fault for having so much time off..."
The two went silent.
"Are you feeling better now?" Erika asked quietly.
All week she had been worried and anxious about Maho's health complications. Multiple times Erika had called at the Nishizumi residence during the period Maho had been off school, but each time she had been turned away as Maho hadn't been awake. It was been very difficult at training without Maho. All the girls were asking questions about the commander, mostly out of concern, but Erika herself hardly knew anything so she was in no position to disclose.
Maho was silent for a long time before answering.
"Sort of... I'm not as tired anymore, but I don't feel 100%..."
Erika felt relieved, which was visible on her face despite her trying not to show it. Maho was a little unsure about sharing information so personal - although she and Erika were close, Maho wasn't confident in sharing most things about herself. Erika was happy that Maho was being able to open up a little.
"Do they know what caused it?" Erika pressed a little but remained cautious.
She had heard about the seizure from Maho's tank crew, but none of them had any further details than what the witnessed.
Maho looked downcast, and her gaze darkened. Erika had touched a sore spot. Maho gave her an answer anyway.
"The hospital arranged for me to meet with a neurologist to confirm it, but..." Maho stuttered a little; it was harder to say than she thought. Maybe it was the fact she was only just coming to terms with it herself made it harder to admit.
"They think it could be epilepsy..." Maho breathed out suddenly. Her eyes prickled with tears and she reached up to wipe them.
"I could be barred from tankery..." she added in a whisper, feeling herself breaking.
Erika was by her side in an instant, holding Maho's hand and dabbing her eyes with a tissue. Maho turned and started to sob and wail into Erika's shoulder, getting her uniform all wet. Erika didn't mind in the slightest. It would do Maho some good to get her feelings out instead of bottling them up for a change.
Knowing the coming months would be difficult for Maho, Erika promised her that she would be there to support her in any way she could.