Gotham winters are all the same. Crisp, dry air with unforgiving wind. Damian Al Ghul would never dare complain about weather conditions. He was trained to endure all types of climates. Failure was never an option for that young boy. That small child.
If he had a weakness, it would be his overconfidence. Those thoughts could get him killed, and any time he caught himself acting that way, the consequences were dire. Punishments came in the form deep cuts, executed by himself. Just as Ra's Al Ghul taught him when the man first sliced into his skin.
Damian Wayne had become complacent in his new life. Lacking in focus, training and above all, self control. Which led to a humiliating death via his own replacement made by Talia. Since coming back, Damian has vowed to never become that weak boy again. But just as he could never truly get rid of the Al Ghul, he can not completely get rid of the Wayne.
Richard Grayson is gone. Dead, according to his father. The pain and grief he has felt every day since coming back is something he's never experienced. He does his best to cope though. It never felt like this when he thought his father had died. He thinks it should have.
He should be doing his best to convince Father that he is worthy of his trust. That he is worthy of Robin. Richard thought so. Even if at first, Damian didn't think he did.
Becoming a son Bruce Wayne could be proud of, and love, was his first and only thought when he arrived in Gotham. It all seems so senseless now. He doesn't feel like he needs his father's approval to be happy.
What truly made him feel safe, and loved, is now lost. Damian never wanted the bond that he formed with Grayson. That bond should have been between him and his father. Life rarely happens like you want it to.
Life without Grayson goes on. As he thought, his father doesn't need him as his partner anymore. Tim Drake has practically moved back into the manor. He's holed up in the cave more often than not. Drake still does missions with his team, but not as many.
Damian doesn't complain like they expect him to. He still goes to the cave to train every morning and night, but he doesn't ask Bruce about patrol. Bruce is concerned, but thinks this is Damian's way of mourning. And it is, to an extent. Mostly, Damian has given up on trying to better their relationship.
Going to the League is out of the question, but he doesn't want to live at the mansion either. The feeling of helplessness is also new to him. Probably because he never allowed himself to feel anything when he was with the League. He's discovered many new things since Talia brought him to his father. Up until his death, he hadn't minded learning about his emotions. Now it felt like too much. Getting out of bed every day felt like too much. He still did it though, he will not fail himself again.
Jason Todd rarely comes by. When he does Damian feels a little less alone. He's never been very close to Todd, so it comes as a surprise. Todd is the second person in the whole family he feels he can relate to. Cassandra being the first, but what is the point if she's hardly in the country?
With Todd, there is no judgment for the Al Ghul in him. The weapon that his mother made him. The knot in his throat loosens as he can see Todd cleaning his weapons from where he trains.
As the fifth month rolls around Damian has made a decision. He's going to move into the city on his own. Instead of just packing up and going on his merry way like everyone expects from him, he actually sits down with Bruce and talks it over. To everyone's surprise Bruce actually agrees. Finding out later that Damian gave him an ultimatum of leaving by himself and never contacting any of them again, no one is surprised.
Bruce isn't going to let him completely isolate himself though. Damian is required to call and talk to Bruce, or Alfred, every morning and night. He must also come to the manor for dinner on Mondays, Thursdays and Fridays.
It isn't exactly what he wants, but it will work for now. Bruce has set up a two bedroom, one bath apartment in a middle class area. To Damian's preference, it is minimally furnished with a dark gray color scheme.
His father has even allowed him to home school himself. As much as Bruce hates all of this, he knows Damian is going to break and never recover if he can't get the space he needs right now. He's finally accepted that his youngest will never be a regular child.
It is the best decision Damian's made in a while. The knot in his throat, the pressure behind his eyes and the tightness at the base of his skull has all cleared up. Most of it is thanks to a therapist he started seeing during his second week of living by himself.
However, there is still a large hole in his heart. He knows it can never be filled, and while that makes him sad, he knows he can keep on living. Not because it is what Grayson would want him to do, but because he made that choice for himself.
Summer is almost here. There is a comfort in the heat that he wishes wasn't there. To be reminded of the League, from something as benign as the temperature, causes sharp fear to flow through his blood. He wishes he could just get over it already.
He is now able to identify the fear and self-loathing that developed as he grew up in the League. Despite the progress he has made in therapy, there are some personality traits he feels will never change.
Lack of remorse for killing being one of the biggest ones. He has come to see that ending life, where unnecessary, is not acceptable. To say he could kill one to save millions and not feel guilty about it is the truth. He understands his father's no kill rule, and respects it. But he also knows it is unrealistic.