SUMMARY: At the final campsite, Noctis struggles to express the feelings in his heart to Ignis, and tries to get them across by cooking something for his friend.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Just a short little fic for Valentine's Day (even though technically it's not really valentine's themed). This is my first fic in like three years so I'd really appreciate comments and feedback! :3
SPOILERS: Endgame spoilers. Don't read if you haven't finished the game.
PAIRING: Noctis/Ignis
SOMEWHERE BETWEEN SORROW AND BLISS
Noctis watched Insomnia from across the water. He had slept for ten years inside the crystal and yet, somehow, Insomnia looked much the same as it had the day of its invasion. Even now, as most of the world was without power, without light, it glowed. A beacon, no doubt, for his return, and what awaited him there in the throne room. Hours from now, in what would have been the morning, he would face his fate.
"You should rest, Noct."
Noctis turned around to find Ignis climbing out of the tent. Behind him, he could make out the image of Gladio and Prompto unintentionally spooning amongst their sleeping bags. Noct smiled at the image of Gladio being the little spoon before turning his focus back onto Ignis. "I know," he said, rubbing the spot where the Ring of the Lucii would soon rest on his finger. "A lot to think about."
Ignis nodded, and sat in one of the chairs still circling the campfire. Noctis joined him in a chair across from him. They sat there for a moment in near silence, the only sounds coming from the low but crackling fire, and the soft hushed snoring from their comrades inside the tent. Even though he had told his friends of the fate that would befall him, he still felt like there was so much he had left unsaid, hanging in the air, weighing down his bones. Try as he might, he knew he would never be able to say it all. So much would have to live on between them as feelings and not words. Hopefully, he thought, that would be enough.
"You've come a long way," Ignis said, breaking the silence.
Noctis looked over at him. The scar around his eye had healed considerably, but it was still evident, even behind Ignis' dark shades. "Right…," he said quietly.
He got up on his feet and began rummaging through the gang's camping supplies. Ignis must have recognized the sound of the metal banging together as cooking equipment because he perked up at the noise.
"Was dinner not satisfactory?"
"No, it was. It was… perfect." Noctis scratched the back of his head. "I'm just making a little snack. Something to settle my… nerves."
"I can be of assistance?"
Ignis was already getting out of his chair before Noctis ushered him back down. "No, it's okay. I got this."
"All those times helping me with breakfast paying off?" he quipped.
Noctis smiled. "Something like that."
He began getting everything ready for the recipe: added some more logs to the fire, set aside the ingredients, got the proper tools prepared. In truth, it was the first time he had ever made the dish, but he had seen Ignis make it so many times now that he was hoping — praying, really — that it had rubbed off on him instinctively. It was the least he could do.
"Can you…," Ignis began as Noctis sat down by the fire with a pan. "Can you tell me what it looks like?"
At first Noctis didn't know what Ignis was referring to, but something in his voice clued him in. Noctis looked back over the water to their home that awaited on the other side.
"It looks a lot like how I remember it," he said. "Everything is still lit up."
"The Chancellor."
Noctis murmured. "It's beautiful, though. All the lights are reflecting in the water. It almost looks… at peace." He sighed. "It's hard to believe it's really been ten years."
"Almost feels like it was just the other day that I was pestering you to focus on your studies."
"Heh. Yeah…." Noctis looked down at the food he was preparing. "I'm sorry," he said.
"What for?"
He tried to find the words, but no matter what he always came up short. How do you say everything that has gone unsaid between you and someone who's closest to you? All the years and all the experiences and all the mistakes. All the times you were your worst self, where you deserved to be left behind, and yet he stuck with you, no matter what. Noctis was indebted to him, eternally, for his endless grace. In truth, he could not remember a moment where Ignis wasn't there with him, by his side. Even asleep inside the crystal, it was the thought of him and the guys that kept him going, that pushed him to keep on fighting so that they could one day see the light.
All of this history and all of these feelings and he couldn't find the words to release them, to just tell Ignis everything.
"I was a pain in the ass most of the time," Noctis said instead, playing it off almost as a joke even though he was serious. "It must have been hard on you."
"I was happy to do it," Ignis replied. "We all had a duty, and being there for you was mine. It was an honour and a privilege. I wouldn't have traded it."
Noctis smiled softly. "Still, I could have made it easier for you," he said. "I was a terrible Prince."
Ignis considered this. "Perhaps," he said. "But you make a fine King."
Noctis felt a strong pang in his heart, somewhere between sorrow and bliss. He looked at his chamberlain, his comrade, his friend and felt himself well-up. Sharp, hot tears lined his eyes and for a moment he let them. Though Ignis could not see them, he had a feeling that he knew, with the way that the air around them had seemed to change. He didn't say anything however, and soon Noctis wiped the tears from his eyes before they had a chance to fall. He got up, rummaged through his pockets, and pulled out his MP3 Player. Soft instrumentals filled the air and he watched as Ignis softened in his chair.
"It's been far too long," Ignis said, rubbing something from his eyes, "since I've heard music like this."
The two bathed in the warm light of the fire and the warm notes of the music while Noctis continued to work on his recipe. It was a pleasant and calming moment between them as time passed.
Before long, Noctis put the finishing touches on his dish. He tried to make the presentation something Ignis would be satisfied with, and topped it off with a light powdering of icing sugar. Standing back, he admired his work. It wasn't perfect, of course; how could it be? But it was something. He took the plate over by the fire and carefully placed it into Ignis' hands.
"What's this?"
"The least I could do," Noctis replied.
Ignis' expression was one of bewilderment as he carefully picked up the small and delicate pastry that sat on his plate. Almost instantly he seemed to recognize its shape. "Is this…?"
"Yeah," Noctis said simply.
It was the dessert that Ignis had spent years trying to perfect for him. The Memory Lane Pastry that he had first had in Tenebrae so many moons ago. On their journey they had finally discovered the missing ingredient, and now, Noctis had returned the gesture, the best he could. Ignis smiled as he held it in his hands, taking in its shape and smell. He brought it up to his lips and took a nice, brave, bite. Noctis' breath caught in his throat as he tried to gauge his friend's reaction. Ignis chewed delicately, proper, and then swallowed. A moment passed before he finally spoke.
"It's splendid," Ignis said, just as simply.
All he could do was smile.
Noctis stood up and walked over to Ignis. He placed his hand against the side of Ignis' neck, his thumb resting on his cheek. His friend's warmth filled his palm. He thought back once more to all the feelings that remained in his heart. All the words he had wanted to release so that Ignis could finally hear them, and know them. Understand them. Looking at the warm expression on his friend's face as he enjoyed the pastry just now though, he realized that maybe he had it all wrong. Maybe it wasn't about releasing the right or wrong words. Perhaps it wasn't about Ignis hearing everything that was in his heart, but feeling it instead.
Holding him softly, Noctis pulled forth all of those feelings from the depths of his heart and pushed them into two single words, filling them until they overflowed.
Within them, contained everything.
"Thank you."