Hey guys! RainbowBarfingUnicorn and I decided to write up another short story! This time we have some Greek Mythology in here! This plot line originated from a few days ago when we both had a band concert and this guy I sit next to mentioned a story plot with a bank teller that counted out money in single pennies. True Story. Anyway... enjoy!
There once was a guy named Dimitri. He eventually died.
THE END!
Well… not really. A lot of other more interesting things happened in between. So that's what we're here to tell you.
Enjoy! (Btw there is a lot of craziness in this so prepare yourself.)
Once upon a time, in a small province on the outskirts of Rome, there was a little town named Zucchiniville, a tiny, yet somehow bustling city, where strange things tended to happen.
Down one of the bustling alleyways of Zucchiniville, there was a baker's shop labeled Pieson's Pies, where where he sold all kinds of pies. Every morning, Mr. Pieson put out his wonderful pies in the windows of the shop—apple pie, blueberry pie, cinnamon pie, grapefruit pie, chicken pie, pi pie, all kinds of pies—were laid out with fabulous decorations done in liquid chocolate of prancing ponies, flowers, and pies.
These decorations were done by Mrs. Pieson, of course, as all the villagers knew. Mrs. Pieson was a kind woman with a jolly big attitude and an appetite to match it. She worked at a tattoo parlor down the corner, and her art was said to be magical. The couple had four children, named Billy, Billie, Billee, and Dimitri (with a special emphasis on the final i).
Dimitri was a young blond teen with a gloomy attitude and a slight hatred of pies (more on that later). He had a nice tan and was in peak physical condition which was a little odd in the town ince most were pale, fat or incredibly skinny, and either a ginger or brunette.
Billy, Billie, and Billee were an identical triplet of teenagers, all of them tall with mops of dark brown hair inherited from their father and attitudes for mischief inherited from their mother.
They were actually all quite popular with the teenage girls of Zucchiniville, however whenever one of them started dating, no one could tell which Billy/Billie/Billee was dating which girl, and they would all have to break up and start all over again. This had actually happened quite often, and often ended in a lot of broken hearts and confusion.
Dimitri (with a special emphasis on the final i) was sure none of them would ever get married at this point.
Anyways, they were the pride and joy of the town, as they all wanted to be bakers when they grew up just like their father. This made Mr. Pieson very proud, and he hoped that one day all his sons would run the business.
Unfortunately, Dimitri (with a special emphasis on the final i), wanted to be a banker instead. Ever since he was a child, it was his dream. He would be the most amazing banker in all the world, because he would count all the money out in single pennies, which would make all of his financial calculations incredibly exact and reliable.
(There would also be the possibility to steal some money from annoyed and distracted depositors.)
Mr. Pieson was always sure his son would grow out of such an absurd dream, but after so long, he realized it might be time to have a talk.
One day, the Pieson family sat around a steaming chicken pie, which happened to have doodles of ferrets with flower crowns.
The Billy triplet was sitting together and scarfing down their slices of pie happily under the sunset that was coming in from the window behind them.
"Mmmm, nice pie!" said one over a mouthful of pie.
Mrs. Pieson elbowed her husband and gave him a meaningful look.
Mr. Pieson was confused but decided to do something. "Uh, thanks son?" he said although it sounded like a question he was asking his wife.
Mrs. Pieson rolled her eyes and decided to reprimand her son herself. "Billy, honeybun, please speak after you swallow."
He nodded and swallowed. "Good pie, Dad."
Billee smiled over his piece of pie, and Billie reached over Billy for another slice of pie.
"So, ehem." began Mr. Pieson, looking pointedly at Dimitri.
"Mhm?" asked Dimitri, looking up from his doodles of triangles all over his napkin.
(This will be later explained. But not yet as it is not relevant to the current plot line.)
Mr. Pieson reached for Mrs. Pieson's hand under the table.
"Do you know the story of how your mother and I met, Dimitri?" asked Mr. Pieson solemnly.
Of course I do, I have only heard it about a million times. thought Dimitri in exasperation.
"Dear—" began Mrs. Pieson confused. Even the Billy triplet looked up from their pie in confusion.
"Billy, please go to your room for a moment." he said Siriusly.
"Uh, which one of us?" asked Billie.
"All of you." answered Mr. Pieson.
"Right." they said in unison stretching out the word skeptically. Billee shot a look over his shoulder to Dimitri as if to say Good luck as the three went up stairs
"Um, right…" said Dimitri, looking confused. He racked his mind for any rule breaking he might have done that he forgot to cover up. He simultaneously thought of an excuse for each that his parents wouldn't question.
"One day, I went down to the tattoo parlor." said Mr. Pieson.
"Yes, and you went and got a tattoo of a pie. You thought that the woman doing it was—" continued Dimitri.
"Amazing. And we got married five years later." said Mr. Pieson. "So you see, I found my happiness through baking. It is the only route for a Pieson."
"There are other things to be, Joe." said Mrs. Pieson trying to broaden her husbands horizons.
"Like a banker!" interjected Dimitri.
"No, I can't have that. It's been a tradition. Every Pieson child, for two hundred years back—" began Mr. Pieson.
"—all the Billies are already going to be bakers! Isn't that enough?" exclaimed Mrs. Pieson.
"No, it's-"
"FINE!" shouted Mrs. Pieson, "I GIVE UP! WHATEVER!" She threw her hands up in the air in frustration, tossing her red hair behind her as she slammed the door.
It was quiet for a second.
Then Dimitri looked up at his father in shock, not sure what was happening.
"Father…"
"I'm giving you a choice. Either be a baker, or no longer be a Pieson."
"What?!" he said.
"You heard me." he said in a determined tone.
"Father, I can't even cook a poptart right, and I have been trying for 7 years!"
"YOU WILL BE A BAKER!" shouted Mr. Pieson.
He stared at Dimitri for a moment, as if he could not recognize his own son.
"Or you will leave."
Dimitri glared at his father in defiance.
"Bye, father." he spat, picking up his prized jar of pennies, and his emo hoodie.
He stalked out, slamming the back door behind him. It echoed across the walls of the alleyway. Everything was hued a light silver in the light of the moon, and the stars looked like an entire galaxy. It seemed so unfair that the night could look this beautiful on a night like this. Even the moon looked like a pie. Ugh.
Dimitri kicked a stone across the pavement of the street, causing some of the unsavory characters wandering the streets to turn their heads in his direction.
He swore in his head, but walked on, trying to seem inconspicuous.
Where was he going to go anyways?
He read the signs on the developments as he walked by.
Hercules Horse Stables
Billy's Bakery
Starbucks
Owl Eyewear
Poseidon's Aquarium
Athena's Library
Cinnamon Roll Café
Miranda Music Arts
Banker's United—
Wait!
There were his fellow bankers. Figuring he had nothing to lose, Dimitri went up and peered in the window. It was entirely dark.
Hmmm…
He surveyed his surroundings, making sure he wasn't being watched, and walked out back, where there were several Banker's United trucks parked in the back.
He yawned.
Might as well camp out here for the night…
Without further ado, Dimitri settled down behind the Banker's United on top of his emo hoodie and slept.
Bye!
~PJOandHP4life